Half Time, her sardonic kicks in

People would think me a moron to know how much I try to hide under a rock during this dreaded month of mine. I can honestly say only a handful of good things have ever happened for me during it, and ton of bad, near maddening events scorched it for me. My own parents (had they still been here, but instead they're there) would have/or did reached/reach 64 years of marriage yesterday, I thought of them on and off throughout the day, I think of them often for the life lessons they taught me towards a marriage, and yet all the other components of life. My Lauren pre-occupied my mind during the first week of the month, my grief there is finally blurred, no more acute pain, but I do remember the days of sitting by that grave crying in the rain, seemed the only place I could go for peace or rest for quite awhile. And I remember still painfully losing Dad, the unreal three D back, near out of body that comes with back things, we buried him 21 years ago today, and my eyes cloud still, it's been many years since I held his hand in mine, he could be a softie as he aged, he had a wisdom to him (Pa, I still try hard to not tailgate, I knew it upset you so), his practicality is what has run my ass these last few years, he is in my backbone when it comes to this recession, day after day of papers in front of me I'd rather incinerate they near gag me as does the thought of Ground beef for dinner. And in a few days I will hear Across the Universe echoing in my head as the mind wanders to Ma and that God Forsaken surgery night of monsoonal rain, and the doctors word that did echo out across my universe, music saying nothing would change my world, when everything had changed in a sentence. And so as we were waiting for little Will to be born it was only natural that stress was a major component to the waiting, in part due to not believing in Santa any longer, and in part to dear old August. I am very happy and relieved that this little boy baby who I will meet this weekend, is thriving surrounded by love and family, I am happy for an August event finally some balance to the month. My brother a Grandpa, awesome, he will really enjoy this. And so we are passed 1/2 time in the month, I peek out from under my rock.

Baby Will

"Have you ever seen the Sunrise?" Yes, a great one today, my incoming text message, one to roust me from my sleep from my brother, and one to get me on my feet from my niece....saying baby Will had been born. August 9th, 2011 Baby Will has been born to our Jenny & Bill. So long from the Xmas announcement of Preggers to this August day. Face book already posts his picture, he is gorgeous, and call me crazy but I can see the resemblance from our other baby pictures, eyes, cheeks and nose. I am so happy for them all, I am a worry wart by nature, but last night as I made myself pass out it was cause I could no longer tolerate my poor nieces time clock of labor, it had been way too long already. I am so happy to see her face book posting this morning, as she is so happy for this event in her life. And I can finally relax on my August blight, and put it to rest in the closet. Go.....Jenny and Bill, and now Will, you all Rock;)

Blessings

No, I didn't forget, just for reasons of my own doing a lower profile with regards to realities, awaiting good happenings as they say, but do I remember August, oh yes indeedy, a tricky terrain if ever there was for this old gal, but would I have evolved and toughened without it? Saw the double red headed hawks several times this week, figured they were seeking me out...a little check-in perhaps to see if I'd gotten swallowed whole by a whale maybe? No I am still here, living up to life's challenges as they are tossed my way. I can't seem to solve but with band-aides, if it wasn't so serious, it would render a fine comic scope to it. So I've occupied my time with watching the Washington Follies, a show bigger than life with more disgusting characters in it, Tea baggers wanting no new taxes, and republicans protecting the Millionaires and billionaires under Tea Bagger disguise, of no taxes means even NO TAXES ON THE RICH AND FAMOUS...who with their corporations quite often pollute our lands, taint our waters (yes I am enjoying all those natural gas commercials speaking of how much they're doing for the population (exploding water faucets and bad water wells come to mind from the poor people afflicting with them digging too close), My heavens Warren Buffet and Bill Gates even volunteered their opinion publicly that they wouldn't mind paying more taxes, but the Washington grease my hand & I'll grease yours good old boys clubs couldn't and tenaciously wouldn't let that shape so they're be some source of revenues generated that could actually slowly make a dent in the deficit. It's a mind challenge game for me to always try to see what they're really trying pull despite theirs words flowing. Similar to our house, in summer I should be able to get ahead and yet I am so buried from trying to jockey spring, and the ever lovely gas prices which kill me, that I can't get ahead nor even. And neither can this fair land we call America, they've killed her off for the Rich and Greedy to keep on draining her resources but give nothing back. I truly would have fired them all, or at the very least had them on unpaid leave for 1-2 years, let them get a taste of the real world. And so I stay quiet little lady, and I look forward to the big picture, and hope for some good familial news soon. And that will keep the inner child happy if that can shape sweetly*