The Tree

There she stands a small imposter of all the real trees we had throughout the years, mood plays into it for us who reside here, she has a single strand of white lights, and one garland on her. No ornaments, no star or angel.  No presents.
Oddly enough as it neared the day we all took turns at plugging her in for the evenings enjoyment.
I laughed at us all sometimes with affection at how we are bound by common actions, whether from habit, or some type of need relief or for the love of the other we continue to plg these lights in to illuminate a tree that stands for many different things to each of us here.
So on Christmas day we plug her in, we watch Christmas story one more time still laughing, we decorate a cake our son baked for friends and an evening outting, enjoy a small breakfast, play christmas carols to eachother we've pulled up on UTube...some of beauty, some of comedy, and a regular meal later, and make it through the day together and are happy enough in the knowledge that we are still together for the day, a special luck in it's own right, and that is really why we plugged her in, a celebration of life as well as the baby Jesus
We have no idea what's coming, we have no idea where the paths will take us, the future is more unknown to us than at any other time, proverbially we have some ingredients but have no idea what dish we are making, time and ingredients will define that.
For now we have the tree and the spirits of christmas past it invoked and we have our own very tightly nit group. Long may she run..............

Sentimental Me, Guess I'll always be....

 When I was four I first heard a song by the Ames Brothers " Sentimental Me", and as a young baby girl of the family I'd terrorize them all to dance ( as in they needed to drop precisely what they were doing and pick me up till we finished the dance and song) with me for favored songs, First and favorite for some time "True love" by Bing Crosby, and they said before that I like a song "Come down, Come down from your Ivory Tower",  and one I still sing when filled with emotions that Judy Garland did light years ago " Till we meet again" and on that one I usually could end up crying, I am such a sentimental slug sometimes, on long car rides as a child my mother taught us to sing and to harmonize with eachother, it was the only thing that kept car rides with 3 tired, auto ridden children have a possible peaceful ending. However, in the lives of three children and in our own mom music did stay a very important component to our peacefulness and tranquilty, our emotional well being.  And all the songs toted on Hit Parade, And Mitch Miller's Band & Show, and Ricky Nelson & his family, Elvis, the Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and so many others seen on The Ed Sullivan show, and all of the record albums blossomed from our own youthful days 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's, and into the present whereby our Son has brought us his music even as he re-visited most of ours, and the man I married is just like us, music is his way of communicating, music has been his saving grace in the darkest of times he will simply put in the CD that captures what he's feeling. As a teen I went to great lengths to reach the Holiday Ballroom up on Milwaukee & Lawrence Ave every friday nite for music and dance forging good friendships and staying off the streets of Chicago which could have been a bad thing for this girl, instead I stayed straight, stayed focused on a similar group of friends, expression of self through dance, and all of the favored music from those times 60's and 70's combined, I could be delirious with a high fever, lie and walk out the door to catch the Bus up to the Ballroom, collapsing once I was back home. If when life ends I would have a choice of beautiful colors or beautiful music, it would be a hard choice indeed, and I have to hope for both, and this makes me think of Alice Sebold and her story read and cherished by many, soon to be released in movie form, and her descriptions of heaven, and how each persons heaven is different depending on what they loved in life, " And in my Heaven there are......."  And so the sentimental girl who was and is a romantic (you guessed), grew into a sentimental woman, and lived happily, ever, after.

A Fisherman's Prayer

I Shall pass this way but once, any good that I can do let me do it now, I shall not pass this way again. The following prayer was oddly enough on Uncle Bob's memorial cards, but being the daughter of a fisherman, the sister of a fisherman, and the wife of a fisherman, it touched me gentle and true: A Fisherman's Prayer God grant that I may fish Until my dying day And when it comes to My last cast I then most humbly pray, When in the Lord's Soft landing net I'm peacefully asleep, That in His mercy I be judged As good enough to keep. And so I wish all of my fisherman the very best endings to their fishing days, and I always have.  That probably explains better why I've always been their biggest advocate.  I remember my Dad's sadness when he couldn't/or his body couldn't go on the longer trips anymore, I remember him on his last father's day, the boys gone on a trip to fish, kindly accepting the company that surrounded him, and being gracious about the robbed opportunities that age took advantage of. However, he was the whole day in his white fishing cap my brother had given him. And I have the pics to prove it. God Bless my Guys, more adventures for you before the darkness comes.

The Best Thing I Ever Did , Was You

I Shall pass this way but once, any good that I can do let me do it now, I shall not pass this way again. I have a person in my life whose development I half contributed to, be it my strengths he gained some of, my weaknesses he hopefully deterred away from, my humor which is still there to be used in the blackest of times, or my ability to try to always see the big picture and reduce the temporary chaotic family moments to a bottom line of underlying love, as long as we have our health and eachother for these moments.  And this person I have invested my time in loves to write, loves the arts, and so he has begun his own blog, a place where he can wander to, and publish some of his writings he's had to do for his education, or some he's done for his own amusement.  He's also added in some pictures he's found interesting that have been drawn as graffitti by one man all over the world, yet no one knows the mans true identity as he is always hidden in darkness or cloaked by a mask, this intrigues our young man.  Enjoy your writings and developments that can come with a blog: http://onetensurvival.blogspot.com/2009/10/chicago-coursing.html A Hundred Years from Now, It Will Have Mattered in the Life of A Child*

A. A. Bondy, some absolutely great music

I Shall pass this way but once....but I am glade my son brought A.A. Bondy into our lives. His music to me is a combination of Don McLean's finest and Simon & Garfunkel' best. Bondy has wonderful guitar skills, his lyrics are a reflection of the deepest thinkers words skills when he puts his words on a songs canvass. His voice is a good one that matches up with his words and guitar playing. To me he is folk music revived, and he has some insights to America, it's problems, to the politicians that keep leeching of the masses, and he has seen many aspects of love and has some intellectual bottom lines for true love and the relationships that can be rekindled if the desire to do so is there. For Americans he writes: "So don't tread on her for she is your sister, she was born with an American Heart, And don't tread on me for I am your brother, I was born with an American Heart........"

Another old Song

Have I told you lately that I love you, well darlin I'm tell you now.

SunShine and another song

John Edwards: Sunshine is more to the point, and another posibility of what was in my head when I named this blog..................... Sunshine come back another day, I don't feel much like playing....., someone gone and tried to run my life, and I don't feel much like dancing.

Music & Sunshine, life segments

I Shall pass this way but once., and upon walking through the house this morning I landed in the family room where I had my computer playing music from a very cool radio program, called Pandora Radio where by you can set up your own preferred arts/songs and come up with your own station, it is a wonderful toy that my son emailed me. So as I walked in it was playing one of the first favorites I ever had: "YOU are my SUNSHINE". And so loved is this song, it provoked tears, so many memories captured in one tune, so many emotions.

Living up .....

Out of the dark and into light, knowing this bettered your very last plight, daily motions left weakness and battered your soul, you cared only for your loved ones too soon left alone. You struggled your energies, all details were placed, and with great deep love for all, you moved on from this place. You still shadow some, so thorough was your touch, that many loves live on, enhanced by your seasons. And others they suffer from grays and the shadows, and have trouble finding love in all your old corners. And so some will try to gain you better momentums, For the love that was given to all on the journey, has gathered like ripples once seen in the waters, giving strength to so many and leading them onward, through their own loves, and living, we can only get bettered. It's the best we can do, moving on from your sorrows, gaining courage from your loves, and wisdoms of the past, Now you rest awhile and watch, and give us this chance.

Ode to Loving

We grow, we talk, we walk through days like they were cotton candy We like, we love, and often laugh never knowing how soon they're ending and days and years flood past us now as fewer loved ones are left standing by our sides are the treasured remaining loves we savor still though we're all dying And so it's a pitious crime to waste our time on occassions we're not in agreement but rather reflect that unconditional love sees the good and looks past the bad seedings So sorries should be more frequent forgiveness her equal friend when loving the best in eachother no regrets when we're alone at the end. kms 6/6/09

Special Needs, Success, and Empty Spoon

Do you know the value of "a day"? Yes and no, we are all so different, with different lifestyles, how can we know in true measure what someone else's day is like, for many each day is a month, and yet they put one foot in front of the other and make it through, many are special needs people, their required care might make their days harder than yours. Special Needs encompasses so much anymore, years ago it could have been rubella victims, someone born with a heart defect, someone else who had a muscular problem, someone who had polio as a child, and that was plenty in category to try to help make progress, the end result to teach them to be self sufficient, to find things they would enjoy doing that worked well for their bodies and health conditions. Now special needs encompasses many different types of children damaged one way or another by drugs their mothers took while pregnant, vaccinations they were given to help ward off worse diseases, chemical unbalances within the brain which depleted a need component to keep them adjusted and fined tuned as a people machine, as a logical machine. Now put them into classrooms, shared classrooms. Over crowded classrooms, the one not understanding the other, neither compatible as all of their individual needs are so different. First lesson, maybe one end can feed the other spiritually, but it must be done with finesse or else the lesson will be lost on half, contempted by half. Or at best you might reach through to a few, is success a few within a classroom? Or do we need a better system? Is there a better system? Years ago there was a book and movie called " The Empty Spoon", it was excellent, teaching and when and what is a success. The moral of my story is success is not measured by volumes, it is measured by individual pages that make up the chapters of a teachers life.

Close your eyes and listen

Do you know the value of "a day"? The best of instincts. The best of pre-cog. A clarity for reading through the dung and seeing what's actually really there. Gone? Or just muddied? So, let's get back to some very basic heartfelt pleasures: Close your eyes, and listen! Close your eyes and hear the sound of waves approaching on the beach as the tide rushes in, do you hear their impact? Can you hear them hitting? Now, listen to the waves crashing in again, open your eyes and see them hit the rocks. Or close your eyes and listen to the rainfall, chores are done, all are home, no worries for the moment, now just listen to that wonderful rain falling onto the roof, hitting the windows, and enjoy this small earth cleansing miracle.......drowsy due to lack of sunlight, you want to nap, there is something comforting about this type of rain. Close your eyes and think back, hear the baby crying for the first time? That little voice, you'll remember that tone, that one is yours. Close your eyes, now you're in front of some flowered bushes, it's 70 degrees out, the sun is shining, your eyes open to a curious light fluttering noise: it's a hummingbird the size of a butterfly and they really do fly backwards, the are wonderful to watch, so quick darting to and fro. Now close your eyes, and think of other good things.

Music for the Soul and Heart and You

Do you know the value of "a day"? Oh the days were long gone but every once and awhile I pull out the guitar, I strum through a few old tunes and I think back. When I was 18yrs present I began learning guitar, and I was blessed with some voice, a voice that comes better from the soul and could touch some, when it was warm when it came from my soul., and so she wrote some songs......one brother said she had depth, another brother named her Stormy which would stay her young adult nickname over one of the songs she had written. Some of it was fun, she's write a song on a paper towel or napkin, and keep them tucked in her guitar case which was always close by. She wrote songs about Racism, she wrote songs of unrequited love, she wrote songs about an Island in the Sound, she wrote songs about people who came and went in her life, she wrote all of these as she was a loner, lively in a lonely world. She liked the art museum, she loved being by any body of water, she love the forest preserves wooded paths near her home, she was a dreamer, and was waiting for her ship to come in, she felt she'd know it when she saw it, and so it came to pass. She would abandon her music mostly for the playing and singing, she would move onto different paths and chapters, but the love of music, the love of heartfelt tunes would never leave. The last song she wrote was over 11 years ago, she was deeply alone, and so she wrote Forks in the Road, it is one beautiful song, the melody, the chords and the words were no effort they flowed as they always had when she was younger, there is no recording of it, but to this day it plays back in her head. She wrote it for you, she hears it for you. You, whom so much was about.

Touched by a natural tragedy few witness

Do you know the value of "a day"? I was tired, driving home yesterday afternoon 5:30pm I was on the off ramp to Palatine road, 1 car in front of me....always cautious on this ramp since a fox ran out in front of my car light years ago. The car in front of didn't see the ducks fly into his path from the grassed lands, the mallard made it, the drake got hit by his right tire, in my view like a moment in slow motion she lifted and strain her neck as she looked at her mallard, put her head down gracefully onto the pavement, the mallard stretch up his whole body and his neck elongated as turned his head and he screamed a call out at the vehicle that hit his beloved..... The tears welled up in the witnesses eyes, she was saddened and she was touched by these beautiful creatures she's observed so often throughout the years. Chicky, the child.

Grover's Disease

Do you know the value of "a day"? More learning curves......some more research that might benefit some one of us out there in surviving a seriously distressing skin ailment: Regentra Hydrating Mist Soothe Symptoms of Grover's Disease Ingredients that Soothe Grover's www.regentra.com Grover's disease Natural Treatment for All Ailments. Start the Healing & Visit Us Today! www.egratex.com Grover's Disease Find the right answers about grover's disease www.Healthline.com Grover's Disease Grover's disease (transient acantholytic dermatosis) is a condition that appears suddenly as itchy red spots on the trunk, most often in older men. http://www.aocd.org/skin/dermatologic_diseases/grovers_disease.html - 18k - Cached - Similar pages Grover's Disease. DermNet NZ Mar 18, 2008 ... Grovers Disease. Authoritative facts about the skin from the New Zealand Dermatological Society. http://dermnetnz.org/scaly/grovers.html - 11k - Cached - Similar pages Grover's disease - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Grover's disease (also known as transient acantholytic dermatosis) is a polymorphic, pruritic, papulovesicular dermatosis characterized histologically by ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grover's_disease - 27k - Cached - Similar pages The Presenting Symptoms of Grover's Disease A retrospective study confirms several notions about GD that were proposed by Grover himself when he first described the condition in 1970. http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/549162 - - Cached - Similar pages Grover's disease My guess on the subject is that there might be something in the genes of a person that gets Grover's Disease from sun damaged skin. ... http://www.skincell.org/community/index.php?topic=187.20 - 96k - Cached - Similar pages Grovers Disease Can Be Treated With Various Protocols Depending On ... Grovers Disease Can Be Treated With Various Protocols Depending On The Severity Of The Condition. http://ezinearticles.com/?Grovers-Disease-Can-Be-Treated-With-Various-Protocols-Depending-On-The-Severity-Of-The-Condition&id=890432 - 50k - Cached - Similar pages Grover's Disease Treatment Tips Jan 5, 2008 ... Grover's Disease is also known as transient acantholytic dermatosis. Grover's disease is a skin condition affecting the chest and back. http://www.articlesbase.com/diseases-and-conditions-articles/grovers-disease-treatment-tips-297122.html - 53k - Cached - Similar pages Transient Acantholytic Dermatosis: Overview - eMedicine Dermatology Feb 22, 2007 ... Grover disease seems to occur more frequently in patients with ... Grover's disease: successful treatment with acitretin and calcipotriol. ... http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1124347-overview - 56k - Cached - Similar pages Grover's Disease Jul 7, 2006 ... Grover's disease is probably the better diagnostic term since not all cases are transient. It is characterized by an itchy (pruritic) ... http://www.thedoctorsdoctor.com/diseases/grovers_disease.htm - 53k - Cached - Similar pages Grover's Disease Jan 9, 2007 ... Important It is possible that the main title of the report Grover's Disease is not the name you expected. Please check the synonyms listing ... http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/grovers-disease - 122k - Cached - Similar pages Grovers disease Relax. Take a deep breath. We have the answers you seek. www.RightHealth.com Treat Grover's Disease Identify Alternative Treatment Options. Visit Now & Learn More! www.Grovers-options.com Diseases Grovers Diseases grovers Information Get Better Results on Ask! www.ask.com

A letter of thanks to my siblings

Do you know the value of "a day"? Growing up can be a tortured filled project, and yet it requires so many years to achieve it, to successfully and safely come through almost intact.

I write this letter of thanks for my siblings which were two older brothers, one is 4 years older than I, and other is 6 years older than I. They both gave me as much coping and survival skills as they could, and I think adult siblings do not always know or remember some shining moments given to the younger ones, some component they gave that sees you through your darker times.

They being boys taught me to love and collect bugs, have Illinois Prairie snake races, play kickball, volleyball, baseball, basketball, some tennis, handball, hide n go seek, they taught me to ice skate, how to dance, they contribution 95% to my initial love of music, and 95% to my life long love of dance. They taught me my Chicago Street Smarts, which has served as my best logic in times of danger.

They taught me how to stand up for myself, they taught me how to stand up for others, they taught me how to love the guitar and my initial skills for teaching myself this beautiful instrument, they taught me that all of us have fine voices if we want to sing...especially when it comes from the heart. We were dispatched to the laundry mat weekly, then they preceded to teach me another lifelong beauty: my taste in art, three pictures hung in the laundry mat by Robert Woods.....we loved one of them especially and we would find this replica and purchase it for our families home one day down the road: It was called Woods Cove. Woods Cove is in Laguana Beach California...it is where our oldest brother gravitated to originally, sometimes he'd sleep outside b the cove on warm summer nights so happy was he finally in his surroundings. It has a wonderful staircase walking down to the beach, a staircase we have spent hours on while watching the seas crash to land, it is heaven here on earth this spot. We've both always wished our middle brother could see this sight with us. It is a place where there is only us and the beauty of the sea and the cove which makes you appreciate it's earthly beauty. It is a place of the soul.

It is the reason of terrain that I return to California whenever this economy will allow. It rebuilds me somewhat for the next round of everyday life. Shops in the Laguana Beach area might produce a Robert Woods Painting of Woods Cove, different times of the day, different lighting captured. It is a small Cove really, a hidden treasure.

In case you've not understood my perspective of my youth, and who I would become for an adult lifetime.....thank you for all of the lessons equaling knowledge and skills to live by, I don't know were the road is headed, but parts of you both will be there with me when I arrive, assessing it all.

With Love, the baby of the core.

Now I lay me down to sleep, a website for thought

Do you know the value of "a day"? Always thinking.....see a website or many and they impress different ways: Now I lay me down to sleep is a website where children's photo's are entered, and you can vote for them individually by donating a dollar or two dollars, whatever you'd like to donate, part of this money goes for children's education, and of course there is always a winner, the balance of it goes to a charity for children who will never go home from the hospitals so many are in these days, thus the name of Now I lay m down to sleep. If you read this blog further back you will find it was always this woman-child's favorite little diddly when she very young. If you read this blog further back you will find this woman child was unlucky enough to lose a child, and so Now I lay me down to sleep touched me, still half a woman and half a child. A tear and a smile for all of you out there, I cannot say I've ever understood the whys of it, and I cannot say I ever will. But you are certainly special, all of your brave little souls that shine upon us. My friend Maryann helped me with advice for my mother in 2002 because she had a little grand daughter who was very ill with Colon Cancer as well, and the two ill females had had the same surgeries which required the same body cares. I lost my mother, and in 2003 my friend lost her little Colleen a precious 7 year old who was laid out in her special 1st communion dress, and all around this little seven year old girl were other children who came to say how she taught them to be brave and taught them more of what mattered, I never saw so many children attend a wake. And so we end again with Gilbran, " A Tear and A Smile.

Korea, needs to be stopped.....

Do you know the value of "a day"? Natural, well really un-natural disasters occur all the time now.....I watch the news, I hear about these unusual volcanic, under adventures, earthquakes, TUSAIMI's, and many have been after a publicized missile laughing, missile testings underground, bomb testings underground...compliments of North Korea....THEY NEED TO BE STOPPED BEFORE THERE IS NO EARTH LEFT TO WORRY ABOUT WITH THE GLOBAL WARMINGS. KOREA THINKS THEY ARE ENTITLED TO BLOW HUGE WHOLE IN OUR UNDERGROUND LITTLE KNOWN ABOUT PLANET. COME ON PEOPLE SEE SOME OF THE CORRELATIONS HERE. WATCH THE EVENTS UNFOLD...LIKE YOU'RE A WALL FLOWER SITTING IN THE CORNER OBSERVING WHAT'S REALLY PLAYING OUT, AND SOME ONE SHOULD GO STOP THEM.....THIS IS A BIGGER WAR ON TERRORISM THAN THE OTHER!

We sat together in the park

Do you know the value of "a day"? Our second date, a date at Triangle Park , a little Park, the November night sky, our breaths in the air, guitars out and chords to Nights and White Satin strummed..... in November of 1975: "We sat together in the Park, as the evening sky grew dark, I looked at him and felt a spark...tingle to my bones, twas then I felt alone, and wished that we'd gone straight....and watched out for that Simple Twist of Fate"., a lovely song Joan Baez singer...written for Bobby Dylan and her. It was our fate, that wonderful feeling of at last finding your home, your person in life. You.

The God Complex Via Doctors & Arrogance

Doctors and the GOD COMPLEX has always fascinated this girl, it is a totally disgusting beast that runs too rampant in the medical profession. For 6 years we have been back and forth to doctors trying to obtain a diagnosis on a skin ailment that plagues a member of the household. This equals 6 years of discomfort and itching, and infections, and weight loss from muscle mass, and scaring for this person. For the 6 years the doctors have dibbled and dabbled in us, try this test, and we'll see....you wait patiently for the test results...some of which were for serious ailments, and the bastards call you to tell you that the test was negative....it's not that, keep using the cream, and dismiss you into their world of no follow ups. You get worse eventually and go back, and get another test, and another round of bullshit. Meanwhile your lifestyles are totally changed and your time together is spent on trying to figure out what might relieve it better today.....just to get through a work day, and to try to sleep some at night.....yep that's a good focal point. This last ass was like the great white hope....he's an internist who specializes in infectious diseases, and you're relieve as you think you've finally been referred to a place and doctor that will figure it out. You get there, he's so 80-95% sure it's Lyme disease, he tests you for it, he prescribes 60 days of heavy duty anti-biotics, you wait the 8 days for the test results, you have another appointment set up for the following week you think to keep progressing and that maybe one of these people/doctors will think to culture this for bacteria or viral origins if it's not Lyme diseases and you have hope even though this skin condition is at it's all time worst**** ***No, you get a call from the doctor himself, he tells you the test says it isn't Lyme disease**** (but that the test has a lot of false negatives), he tells you to finish taking the anti-biotics and he says he can do nothing further for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He refers you to a dermatologist. So on one hand he's telling you he's still cock sure it's Lyme....and on the other hand his arrogance won't let him use common sense and test for the bacteria or viral cultures that could also lend an answer to your problem. This is truly a tragedy, this GOD COMPLEX, and it's encountered by so many of us mere mortals, many people throughout a year will commit suicide because of these assholes not taken time and care with the patient....we are not numbers, we are very human. Where do we go from here? An old song title that lends a very real question. Where?

Morgellons Disease, and researchers needed

Do you know the value of "a day"? Researching Lymes Disease, one article states that 70% of all people with Morgellons Disease have had Lyme Disease. 50% of Doctors recognize Morgellons Disease, The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta recognizes it due to the increase of people showing these symptoms, some poeple think it's an internal parasite that sends these color thread and black particles out of the skin, one man thinks it is a bacteral problem tied into older Hot Water tanks, the research is endless. Alfalfa Tablets (25 or 35 of them) baths with a scosh of Color safe bleach might lend to some relief from the insane itching caused by the so called colored fibers coming out of the wound...what I see is a little minature hard piece of spagetti uncooked stabbing out of the wound, and I do eventually see the black particle they speak of.......... So the bath gets done, and 1 tablespoon virgin coconut oil with1-2 drops of oil of oregano get mixed into it, and applied to skin instead of all of this over the counter shit people get stuck with.....Some kind of healing occurred during the night, we will try this again, some kind of relief is needed.....this is one of the most insane adventures traveled for eons. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/morgellons-disease/SN00043 http://www.morgellons.org/ http://nhsblogdoc.blogspot.com/2008/01/morgellons-disease.html http://arthritis.about.com/b/2006/08/09/morgellons-disease-causes-diagnosis-symptoms-treatment.htm http://www.dldewey.com/morgel.htm read this one to the bottom, there is a site you can email the cdc for more info. this is a paragrah from the end of the article....So far, the only connection found among Morgellons patients is that half are also diagnosed with Lyme disease. The CDC investigation is looking more closely at who is affected by it, and where it's most common. Those searching for more information on Morgellons can email the CDC at morgellonssyndrome@cdc.gov.

Lyme Disease, more research to benefit.......

Do you know the value of "a day"? The values change with information processed into each of our lives, doesn't it. Old thoughts become mute, old feelings and emotions are replaced with other feelings and emotions, priorities change for certain. So one of us is tested for something to believed occurred 6 springs ago. Not exactly early diagnoses if this is the case. Trying finding information on advanced cases never diagnose till it was full blown everywhere, damages incurred where? Advanced cases are tackled with 24 days of intravenous antibiotics, and 24 consecutive days of blood transfusions. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lyme-disease/DS00116 http://www.surviveoutdoors.com/reference/lyme.asp http://www.lymediseasedisase.com/ http://www.canlyme.com/rashnews.html And of course a more holistic approach: http://content.nhiondemand.com/psv/HC3.asp?objID=100235&cType=hc

On death and dying, questions and points & beliefs

Do you know the value of "a day"? For this girl there will come a day.....one never knows when, which is the point of this posting for the dear old blog. We all hold different beliefs, we all cling to our own beliefs tenaciously, do not let others doubts enter this territory for your very real self, one day you who perhaps have been vibrant at times will be extinguished as a candle, you will simply go out. When you go out follow your own very real path.....it may be another wonderful adventure, it may be the portal of beautifully colored lights for for this gal, it may be the great re-union you hoped for and perceived from Ma's talkings in that deep sleep she entered which sounded like they were slowly all hooking up and her finding them after all of these longs years, a reunion you actually believed in since you could walk and talk, and they took you the graveyards and you believed in tea parties and smiles and hugs of all of them reuniting, one of your first very vivid images, maybe it will be all true, all very real, that story remains to be seen and felt, and I smile for that. For the ones in this real time life we love who are still here after we step through the portal, well it become important for your husband, son, brothers, adopted siblings, and friends to know you loved them as much as you were capable of, you forgive them for any wrongful things they put in your path, and that you hope they forgive you too for where you floundered or did wrong to them, especially some of the life altering/shape shifting items, sometimes done with thought, and sometimes done in error without the proper thought they demanded-these actions which might have wrongly impacted anothers life. You wish to let them know that you usually tried your best to do the right thing, for them, for the household, for their souls, for their needs or cares. And the acquaintances, well they are in a separate category, but you tried your best there too, whether to provoke thought, or to impact maybe a self pitying moment or trauma they had suffered, you usually tried to give back much more than you took. And for the ones that really count, you hope they remember that you'd want them to remain strong, to re-group and to go on valuing all of these days ahead as they value the ones that have past into memories. You hope they will remember your better points, your better stories, and gain a strength from them, you hope they will keep some of your values, some of your lessons on how they could chose to behave, you especially hope they remember the first law of physics: "To every action, there is reaction": you hope they remember this when interacting with each other, and all of the ones they love, too. You look at them, your looking back, you must go, you must go on alone for awhile. I believe I will see you again....at some point, I believe I will wait in my own time frame for you, so I will not say goodbye either, I will simply say: "I'll see you, later"! I loved you solidly.

Abused Women & Walking Away

Do you know the value of "a day"? A Day can can make a big difference in our lives, one single day can reshape your future, a single event in a day can alter your path entirely. I have never been abused physically by my husband, but I have seen plenty of abused women in my time of Real Estate, the bottom line is still that the abused partner needs to find an exit door and walk through it. You need to leave, you need to leave as soon as possible. What your shattered context of love is doesn't even matter, your face matters, your bruised and broken ribs matter, all of the trips to the emergency room matter, all of the lies to the doctors you've seen matter, all of the blood you've wiped up from yourself matter. It doesn't matter that he's not drinking today, it doesn't matter that he says he loves you today, the door should be your focal point. A fresh start, a rebirth, plenty of underground agencies out there to help you, change your clothes, wait for him to leave for work, and for Christ Sake go....through the door, go now before a rib punctures your lung, or until you go down a staircase and break your neck. Please do this for yourself, tell no one where you are going, if you have a cell phone call no one you know, just go. Go to a crowded city where you've never been, find the underground support people like Wings, and they will give you shelter and a new start, they give you time to recognize who you can become. About 10 years ago I encounter a woman, she needed a comp done on her condo, she needed to sell it as a divorce settlement, she had a restraining order against her own husband, she had been beaten by him, face shattered, ribs shattered, she flinch when I extended my hand to her, her eye nerves were damaged, she couldn't do direct eye contact anymore, even though her parents and I were there she was skittery, and any noise gained her attention, especially from outside. I had met them when I was selling the condo the 1st time, listing agent for some seniors moving out of the area, she was a newly wed, and beautiful, happy about to embark on her journey with this dream man...who would turn into her wildest nightmare.... So seeing this scared, bruised young lady, and knowing the courage it took to come back to this unit to obtain a value for it so the divorce could proceed and some type of settlement be made, was a powerful sickening moment. The week before she had been living in the unit, safe she thought in the restraining order against the abuser in place, he snuck up late at night when many people would be in a deep sleep out of the buildings occupants, and he threw a chair through the patio door window and beat the shit out of her, landing her in the hospital. After she would see me, she was escaping into unknown quarters, and praying he'd never find her again. I have never seen her again, but I do think of her, especially when I see a woman flinch....flinch when someone goes to embrace or hug them, flinch when a rapid movement is made by another human. I hope she made it into the light. I hope she was permitted to walk away free. I hope she got to start over. Oddly enough one of the best books I read about abused woman was by Stephan King who usually writes about some supernatural scenerio, his book was called "Rose Madder", and Our Rose was a very special young lady who slowly found the light, and walked away from it all.

Americans don't take well to being told by Russians

Do you know the value of "a day"? Oh yes, the Russians and an Ex-KGB predictor....funny it used to be predator when did you switch vocations you asswipe....Lol ...he is predicting to the Russian Ex Pres now a Prime Minister or something equally fun who is also blaming the USA for their economies near collapse, we'll these two are predicting the USA's economy will finish collapsing by 2010 and plenty of doom and gloom to go with it.... When I born until I was 6 I lived next to a Ukrainian woman who had lived your Russian dream turned nightmare....you KGB boys should remember....it was a time when you abducted people off of the streets for a variety of reasons including food shortage whereby you would deliver these people to the lovely factories you had in place and turn them into sausage for your hierarchy, and trust me she did not want to go back to your country. Sputnik , yes it was a rocket you launch, but my Irish Grandfather taught me it meant SKUNK...still laughing..... For years you conducted yourselves in the crudest fashion possible, with in human tactics to your own countrymen, so don't go predicting too much for America because the fact remains that we have always been different than you think, despite corrupt government members, despite an ill economy, we Americans do believe in Freedom which is a single word concept you could not possibly understand after having lived all of those decades suppressing people. Americans are in the majority in loving freedom, loving this land we were born to, and we are very resilient, we bounce back up from a lot of adverse conditions and we make the best of it as we go on to a better level. So trust me if we as a nation hit worse times than we've been through we will count our blessings and not our losses and we will move onward and into the next better level. I've never murdered anyone. I've never traded nor sold nuclear missiles to anyone. And I certainly have never made anyone into sausage. You think you're dealing with corrupt government officials or power seekers, but you are forgetting the American Human Element, and we are strong and will rise above anything corrupt idiots will throw at us. So take your prediction and shove it up your ass!

A very basic beautiful scene, a rebirth of sorts

Do you know the value of "a day"? I almost went into a trance two nights back, my need for vacation is so great, I need my loved ocean, a commercial came on showing the sun rising out of the black sky and sea horizon, the sound of the waves.....my eyes took my brain away..... There is a saying on my fridge, " You can never really escape life, but you can take yourself away for short intervals": I was back down in Daytona Beach Florida, I was standing on the beach, it was 3:37am, I had driven to this place throughout the night from Orlando, it was a place of memory, a place my brothers had brought me some 30 years earlier for my graduation present from them.,......this trip my son was there with his best friend Chris, and of course on this particular trip my good friend Kathy was with us, coffees in one hand-freezing cold and believe me it is cold on the beach before the sun brings that warmth-you can see your breath, an April morning standing in the dark on the beach waiting for a sunrise I had promised them, signs posted about some curfew I wasn't ever aware of till that wonderful glow appeared out on the horizon slight at first-a glint of light, and getting bigger, stronger, rounder, and oranger with every 10 minute sequence, gulls flying everywhere, and sandpipers running up to the fresh surf as it pounded the sand on the beach. Stronger, oranger, and finally bringing some warmth to this new born day, it was powerful. It was a keeper time frame, something no one's been able to strip from my memory banks yet. It was a time when you had forsaken me, a stark and alone time frame, life seen in black and white-the color had gone, but God and light of new born days that we've derived from our questions of where it all came from, all the beauty that is, the Ocean, the Earth, Stars & the moon, those wonderful northern lights I still haven't seen, all of those un-measureable new starts gave me myself back slowly, gave me some confidences back that I could make a difference as well in the other three people's lives by sharing this time with them, for it was one of the most beautiful sights we have ever seen, this beauty over the white sanded beach of Daytona. It was as if after traveling a very harsh and long road, a road you didn't know if you could keep traveling, well at the destination it was as if you had received a healing from the beauty of it all. If you could give me a day where I could show you my beauties, I would take you there, I would have you see the world through my eyes for at least 3 hours, there.

Recession & it's lack of logic preventing recoveries

Do you know the value of "a day"? To many degrees, I do......but do the others? Try not to laugh too hard at my Non business, but related in many aspects, here is my list of thoughts for you, again I say try not to laugh too hard..... Quite Simply: We cannot cure the ailing economy until we as a people come to realize that lack of logic and excess greed will only throw further instabilities onto the masses. We must realize that every level of business, every phase of our culture must give, must adjust downward, must walk away from greed and the power of the $$ sign, we must begin to make concessions to one another, we must learn to give back to eachother be it late charges, penalties, discounts, credits earned but not caught in time, or as Patrick Henry said: We will surely hang together..... Main point: Business practices at every level must change to accommodate the economy, you can not lay off the masses, de-value their homes....keep the tax billings of the old higher values, keep the gas prices incorporated into grocery prices, when the gas crunch is long gone...... We cannot heal until we stop the greed. So, 2 weeks ago I wrote to Barack at whitehouse.gov, and told him to regulate the charge card/loan shark companies from charging excessive interest rates to clients/customers as it is surely impacting the foreclosures, believe me they're charging their cards up before they stop paying on their mortgages...... Barack has not answered me yet.

First Time Buyers Credit Can Only Help Housing

Do you know the value of "a day"? The major single item that should help the economy in America was signed off yesterday in the 2009 Stimulus Bill, the item in that bill I speak of is a first time buyers home credit of $8,000. (You nor your spouse or significant other Cannot have owned a residence in the past three years.) As this Credit is publicized it should breath some relief into the system. You must reside in the property for 3 years, and you will take the credit during your income tax preparation, as long as you purchase 1/1/2009-12/31/2009. Should you only live there two years, then upon selling you will would have to pay the entire sum back. There are some other rules for it, but these are the most important ones. If this bill doesn't help to stimulate the housing industry enough so it can get back on it's feet, then we will complete the collapse.

Drops of Water, the ripple effect of memories.

Water drop into a standing body of water, gently moves circles outward, so peaceful to watch. Next drop, and the motion is repeated. Aging Lady, Simple memories. Spiral out like glimpses in a photo album. Young girl following after brothers everywhere, teaching her to climb high cyclone fenced cages at the school, really teaching her to be fearless, teaching her the caution that comes with many adventures when they go poorly. Teen girl washing her first car on Saturdays, waxing the same red beast. Friends driving by and stopping to talk. Graduation night after dinner, seeking friends, and all are gone, they are simply vanished, a sign of times to come. That summer will take many of them away on lifelong journeys, seldom to be hear of. Music guitar and more times spent with brothers, patiently writing down music for her to capture with her own soul. Love at first sight, ah it did exist, loved you then, love you more now. You're beautiful in many ways. Birth of a little girl, " Put her out, the baby's not doing well", echoes & glimpses of sadness beyond belief. Family disputes as we try to seek, Whys. Birth of a little boy four long years later, kissing his forehead for a first kiss and view before they take him to you. You and Ma making sure he's brought to me before I wake up in recovery, so insecure was I, so unbelieving in good fortune. Days chasing butterflies and bugs on his adventuresome walks, teaching stop and go for safety. Preschool for social skills of an only child, grade school days, and more growing of his making us remember some of our own, so that we can once again teach as all of our brothers and sisters, and mothers and fathers have done long before with us. Watching him follow the green footprints we made on Saint Pat's leading him to the green pot of gold under a small bed, how excited he was that he found the pot of gold, a mere green ashtray to us filled with pennies, how much we enjoyed those moments. Life as a Realtor so I could be here when you weren't for his growing days, and then go to work at bizarre hours more often than not, you'd come home dinner is ready and I'd have to leave. Falling asleep at the wheel late at night, one time at a stop sign I thought would magically turn green, cause I was so tired from the 18 hour days, signed and initialed contract next to me. Those years were needed, yet damaging, we sometimes lose ourselves somewhere in those schedules, don't we? And then some good fortune comes and you find your paths back sometimes if you're strong and caring, you have learned to make all sorts on concessions. Running home from a hospital to pick something up quickly, sobbing in the hall as you told me Dad slipped away, Jesus all night long fighting that flat line, such a brave fight, he certainly gave it his best shot. Years of giving caution and care to family, families, and a few friends remaining. The lost years, sad but nothing could be done, seems we have to go through motions, emotions, weaknesses to become stronger and stable. Sitting through more hospital bad news, you cooking meals through our hospice days here, you coming home when it was over to be here for me and the boy. We'd just found our light again when it started again for our good friend and brother. We did it the right way, the best we could, and saw that through. We hit walls created by others at times, sometimes we can't undo their actions, so we have to learn to walk around as many walls as possible. This year we had some of the finest days within our own walls, within our own yard. We saw a young man first and best dream for himself come true, and we help him to prepare to obtain his next step needed for future fulfillment's, and then he can teach, he does have a knack for it, he teaches us all of the time. Our long political talks. Talks about everything. The difference now is so much of the ride is over, done and behind us. The difference now is we don't know how much is left. Will we get to survive this housing crunch, this economical disaster? Will we get to see our boy find a good lady, and settle down? Will we get to his wedding, his children? We could have so much more fun, if it is allowed, us. So in the words of a very touching story: I wish us enough!

February, an aquarian take on things, life

Do you know the value of "a day"? February Days First flash thoughts since a child: White, Amethyst, Cold, Pure. Like glints of snow seen on a wintry purple night. As a child it was the hardest month to spell, and a little harder to say...Feb ru ary, not Feb u ary like January is said, okay so I got that right. White, Cold and Pure, winters last month, one more time for reflection before we're off and running again into Spring and faster schedules. For a person born to this months first 1/2 it usually gives you a good 15 days when things feel there rightest out of the year, things...lifes ingredients come into balance, which might lead to a better perspective on the whole picture, after all you can't cope forever with chaos, you need some type of time to regroup, and this is apparently a good time. Astrology has it, you are best off with an Aries, okay, that was an interestingly accomplished lifes achievement, they are to keep you challenged, oh yes indeedy challenged is what we are. Now through into that mix an Aquarian child....offspring, entertaining you half of the time, and making you nuts the other half, like working with a mirror all of these years, too much alike for rationilization, but a constant sunshine on this horizon whether naughty or good, much humor brought to this old gal as the offspring grew, and what qualities do we get? Love of animals, Loves to read and write, Loves all types of music, Loves the arts, Loves the Ocean, Loves to Travel, Loves Friends, and on.....a great capacity for embrassing lifes gifts to us. And probably a capability to see some of his experiences in life as a three d out of body experience, almost feels like you're watching out of the top of a room, an observer instead a participant whom it is involving at the moment. Like looking down into a dollhouse instead of actually being in the room. Little or no room/time for grudges, best advice get over it, move onward to a better place.

Friends, bottom lines, and comforts

Do you know the value of "a day"? So we go on more adventures together, we get the other stragglers addressed, they are removed from your body, all is good for now, we pull back and we wait for word on these as they will be tested as well. We get you rest, and mending on that side, last time took to long for healing. This time you will be watched, you cannot overdue your bodies use. Think left, not right. Heal up. If we remain lucky, if they are indifferent for now, we will ride shotgun on any future items that show up on the pretty pictures. We will always have to be watching and monitoring to make certain they don't turn ugly. And since you're so much more or sometimes equally religious to me, we will know that God doesn't like ugly, and we will pray he doesn't give us anything ugly to deal with. At least we are comfortable in our journeys together, same moods, similar attitudes, hyper enough to keep us subject hopping, conversations always diverse in content. There is a comfort to the relationship, neither pushing the other for anything more than we have in us. And so we travel on.

President Barack:

Do you know the value of "a day"? Well do you? Most respectfully, shortly after your first week in office please address or ponder some of these side issues: Please find a way to address these points and issues: The homeless are multiplying like rabbits, we live in a cold winter region, what is it like in the warmer areas, we currently live in a balanced town, a fairly nice town, and yet I see homeless people everywhere as they try to head to PADS for some clothing or food relief, that's where the man jumping the expressway medium strip was headed he was headed to PADS...I didn't think of it then , only later when driving the route again did it occur to me..... It's getting harder to pay bills, wages are cut down to a minimum, but the bills don't get cut back, the same old high amounts are due, even in households where you have personally eliminated this phone package versus that phone package, this cable package versus that cable package, knocking out the second phone line entirely, shopping for groceries at a more inferior store to save the 100 or 75 or whatever it can be lowered by..... The people calling in at work, taking their additional insurance coverages off to save on money, no repairs made in the future to these vehicles., taking off their spouse or children from their medical coverages as they can't afford to pay for the others any longer, so pick the ones most healthy to date to save their imaginary monies no longer there..... The victims of identity theft we've encountered through work again, who struggles so hard to get back on their feet after these vipers have demolished their lives as they knew it, and yet the insurance companies cancel their insurance cause they could only pay $900. out of a $1200.00 bill, they are dancing as fast as they can.....and then when I get them to re-write the insureds policy they penalize them $150. more every 6 months for the cancelled item having occurred.....it has no sensibility to it........ New construction at a halt as bankers won't lend money to the companies building the homes as we've not got more stringent lending guidelines, and also more silly junk fees, stacked against lower valued parcels from 2 and 3 years ago..... the banks are hoarding these junk fees and point to try and make up for old losses which only injure further the people you were really lowering the interest rates for..... Again through work and mortgagees clamoring to be added to insurance policies I see people who have always been stable clients turned down time after time by multiple mortgage companies who keep requesting me to make these policy changes, and I have to wonder how anything can ever get better again....with this vicious cycle going on behind the scenes..... I also wonder when someone will step on the most vicious of cockroaches in our financial world = the credit card companies who continue to gouge their clients and charge 39% interest for a balance increase or one late pay.....I wonder how the hell anyone thinks this should even be legal....they are conducting themselves like loan sharks.....you should definitely step on these organizations as quickly as possible as they are positively contributing to the higher rate of foreclosures, these vermin are the scum of the earth....control them, monitor them closely and insulate the people from these outrageous, currently legal methods of conducting short term lending that becomes an albatross around the innocent users. Install laws that the interest cannot be more than 10 or 12% to keep it logical for the people instead of loaned sharked for the self/greedy. Freeze or lower the outrageous incomes and bonuses the upper management of the corporate world, financial world, the golden parachutes should be eliminated, there is no room for it in the newly needed logic of trying to heal a people. Try, and convict any of these upper management people who have knowingly committed financial crimes against the company or against the people they were representing. Protect the people who have long paid into social security, long paid into pensions, protect them from the people administering these funds who tell them there is nothing there for them or who file for bankruptcy and say the fund is gone, the funds were always supposed to be set a aside in separate accounts, protected by the pension bonds these companies carry on the PLANS/PENSIONS. I see companies going under or closing, and simply saying , "OH, the fund doesn't exist anymore?" Bullshit, it has to exist, it has to be accounted for or the bastards should be sent to jail.....for embezzlement!!!!!! Auto makers charging old time prices on vehicles, in a market where housing prices have dropped 1/3 of their value, must restructure their pricing to coincide with the current living/wage values which have been shoved onto an unwilling peoples for the last few years..... Never let the old high gas prices come back to the American Peoples, let's make accessible the newer replacements available but sidelined by the oil barons of old..... And now that the prices have been lowered let try to keep them there, and let's get the gas increases back out of our products that went up so highly in price as a result, if it's off of my gas cards now, it should be off of the groceries and every day used products stocked at the stores, this more gouging that is being allowed to continue at the worst of times, it can be abolished. I truly do hope, you are able to help the common people, the American Average people.

Regrets, I've had a few

Do you know the value of "a day"? I value my days with you the most, the others can sometimes feel like a motion that needs to be gone through to get back to you. Regrets in life, yes some. Would I have done it differently under the same circumstances, nope I couldn't have, cause I am quite simply...me. I would have made all of the same mistakes if the circumstance were same. One thing is for certain, I never regretted you.