Regrouping after a loss

"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Every once in awhile life has a way of handing you your ass on a silver platter. It is often this way after the loss of a family member, especially a well loved family member. A major component is taken out of the equation that once played in harmony with your balance, and you are left off kilter, just as these meteors are travelling in outter space, you drift, try to redirect, and still find yourself drifting. Some sense of purpose no longer there. You are lost. Slowly other things begin to grab your attention, little things, and some larger items and slowly begin to pull the new life chapter into some shape, at first more blurry, and then you will start to see some definition. Maybe winning a round here or there might lend more glue to the new you. We all need to step away and regroup in order to gain stamina for a new and bettered you. We all need to gain some perspective:

Losing a friend, written 7/2/2017

"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Yesterday, today, and it doesn't make a dent. The older I get apparently the harder it is to lose a friend. A man who has long been my adult life friend and lovie, my partner in wicked humors, my mentor, in simple truths passed away recently, yesterday was his memorial, but for me I suspect my memorial will be in the future, I can't wrap my head around this yet, as Pink Floyd alludes: I am still comfortably numb, not even close to a reality. Where do I start? A dance with your new father in law, whereby he tells you if he was 30 years younger he would have married you himself? A Man who when your Dad is buried tells you he won't try to be your Father ever, but just your very good friend? A man who intrigues you in Art with Alexander, Astrology, hands on healing, massages, Herbal remedies, doing what is right for your body, helping with Herbal remedies as the various years and need go on? A man who finally was diagnosed with Renal Failure and for 6-7 years gave all in the waiting room some type of love, hugs, and support. A man who treated the staff with the utmost care and respect, as he knew a little bit of them went with all of their lovies. A man who always brought candies for the diabetic patients, something to give a boost to get them back home safely. So larger than life you have been my friend, I know fully what occurred on 6/20/2017, but on the other hand I can't even catch a glimpse of what this really mean, I am not sure what it really means, my best clues at this point are all the monarchs and cardinals I have seen since then. But get this loud and strong my dear friend, I will carry you in my life ways, and my life heart forever. And Yes, I do cry whenever I can comprehend that you are gone. I loved, and love you much.

Let your humanity show

Yesterday morning I drove in back of a car with a sticker on it: "Let your humanity show". So many spin off thoughts ensued: no tailgaiting, cut someone a break, treat someone the way I'd like my family members treated on the road, and once at work someone more like Cookie Monster immerged rather than Oscar the Grouch, which is good as almost everyone I encounter right now is facing major problems, including a customer who is always late paying his business bill, turns out he's caring for his wife through a 2nd round of cancer and his income grows leaner, needed to renew his coverage, came into see me in person. I hope I drive in back of that car again today "Let your humanity show". In this day where we witness the most bizarre Presidency in our lifetime, with all the crazy trimming to go with that package, constanting saturated in the negative news of each day from Washington, D.C. Sad to say American people have been betrayed like never before with this all about the rich getting richer saga that will finish the middle class and lower class off where the 2009 recession only started the process. News across the nation of pipeline projects still being continued despite whose drinking water and food tables it is contaminating. News of a young black girl abducted (she was a straight A student) and filmed being attacked by multiples of men, all recorded an put onto facebook so that her mother actually saw these attacks occurring, and the poor girl is still missing, most likely dead or sold off to some pimp in a drugged state to be further lost to everyone who loved her. Groups of people with baseball bats assault couples they encounter to rob them of their meager possessions? And on and on it goes, this saturation of one group of people classified as human, thinking they have the rights to attack and change someone else's life forever. I sometimes think that not enough time was spent telling people to keep their hands to themselves, and reviewing the commandments with them to get the real life lessons conveyed. So bottomed out by the news, and also aware that some of the current events have made me more aggressive of late, it was a welcomed heart opening moment to ride in back of this car and be reminded: "Let your humanity show" - A Day in the life of Sunshine

A favorite poem for the long haul

Still a favorite: The Road Not Taken: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.