March went out like a lion, And April Cried & stepped aside....

March brought just a handful of wishful thinking weather days, almost a kiss against winter, and then winter came back to claim more time on her clock: My man was out like a flash with his rake, backyard one day, front the next, clearing winters savage debris of deadness it leaves in it's wake. Small green tulip leaves and crocus leaves emerge from the white rocks like a small magical show we see plants spring up giving us signs of hope that another long winter has grudgingly given up on whipping our asses. On weekdays I leave early and return late, my job keeps me busy enough yet I miss my home and family when I am gone for so many hours, and amuse myself somewhat at lunchtime by going to small park near work, this week brought toddlers out who are just learning to experience the park, and of course none of them wanted to leave the park, so Grandpa's and young Mom's had the pleasure of trying to induce the children to go home for lunch or "follow me", some children play it coy and walk in the opposite direction of what they've been told to do, I watch from my vehicle, I love this part of my day, I love observing the basic human natures that haven't gotten changed generation to generation, swings, slides, some climbing bars, and little toddlers so real and genuine in their awe of the park. And when I am driving near the only remaining farm in Buffalo Grove, I see Mallard & Drake swimming in a roadside puddle, and enjoy the natural moments beauty so much like Redlin Landscape, Geese up ahead checking out last years cornfields for any rare finds, and I know someday up the road we'll all be stopped up in traffic as some mother hen needs to cross her chicks via the road of human high speed. These natural moments are the things that keep us stable or at least me. Work is fast paced, but brings it's own share of emotions to roller coaster through. This week brought one of my favorite's business insurance no longer needed, his young adult children call me and explain how his brain tumor of last year has come back big time to claim him soon, the son explains this as he is on the way to the emergency room, his Dad's had a bad fall and is being checked out, son rushing to catch up with him and other family already there, balance is gone, and slowly it will all halt to a stop. We share some thoughts, some empathies, and hopefully I've given a perfect stranger some heart to help the day. I cannot help but think of our Mike, of Kit holding his shirt tight behind him to keep him on target in his gait. His card is still in my truck with little red roses, I read it while at the park, sure was true, they picked it well. I think of Ma and all my lunchtime runs to hear a doctors update, I think of the bone spurs I got from running down those hospital parking lots and long hallways. I have nothing but love and understanding for anyone who goes through this horrible limbo. I come home finally, day almost done, they wonder why I am in an upbeat mood, I wonder to myself if it's genuine or if I mask who I am, and know quit reasonably that it's more genuine, I am happy to be home with them, I am happy to still have them about me. Time waits for no one, so we enjoy what we have while we have it!

And so it shapes

And so yesterday brought the end of a long road traveled, our son finished his required coursework for his Masters Degree at National Louis University. He did not however file his paperwork for graduation in February as required for some insane reason for a May Graduation, so he will get his diploma in August instead. But reaching light years back to driving the pre-school graduate to kindergarten, first grade, second grade we had to bus him, (he did not like to part with his dear mom in the mornings, and so as to not prolong his pain nor mine, the bus was worth the money at the time.) we have light years later with many stories to tell arrived at this point of Schools is out, unless he volunteers in the future to want more knowledge and that my dear friends is entirely on him. Now he needs to find a job hopefully in teaching and earn at least enough to start paying off some delicious $60,000 in student loan debt incurred for his degrees, we paid for the first degree, he gets to pay for the 2nd and third, which were more costly. Serious money charged for an education and a diploma you say? So while he was off to his last class, turning in projects he hopes are on par with his 4.0 grade point average achieved and maintained throughout the last 4 years, his mother who watched this all play out boxed stacks and stacks of papers needed for the long haul, and shelved tons of books onto a bookcase she donated to this cause. The family room has become a family room once more, no 20 stacks here and there, done, done, DONE! So pizza he wanted upon his return, and pizza he got, Happy, Happy Day my old friend, it has been a great time watching you grow, and grow upwards towards your own goals. And all the nagging, waking, coffee, breakfasts, last minute print jobs, "read your School emails", all of it worth while, done with love. Now go lead your own life, find a job, find a girl worth keeping as a life partner, travel, do it all, time is a funny thing it captures much but it passes so quickly, make all the days from here on count, and dance it like it would be gone too soon! Dad and I are tired, we slow, we're happy cause we're eachothers best friend and both have the same cycle to work through, you can come back and visit, bringing all the stories you've always brought us to see life through your green eyes! Much love and pride, Ma & Dad 03/20/2011 Done Good*

Simpler Beliefs, Avoiding illness & Using Home remedies

As I was brought up in the 50's we always saw the doctor for illness, we always used antibiotics to recover from the infection or cold. That's how my parents cared for us as children, teens, and young adults. I was prone to colds, ear infections, and high fevers. When we started our own family we continued on the same path for many years. We also lost my father in 1990 within 24 hours of a hospital admittance and emergency surgery that offered the only chance. Rough choices, but when a loved one is involved the only choice, is the only choice. All of us would take a long shot, over know possible shot at all. My Mom became ill with a rapid celled cancer in 2002, gone in 59 days. Lots of Doctors appointments and hospital time there and then home hospice via Vitas Hospice and a loving family who kept on giving until she was safely where she needed to go. Then our brother in life also became ill with another supremo rapid paced cell cancer, the time lost in their (Dr.'s ) diagnosing it, but once they did they moved with lightening speed towards their initial treatment of it. Our sister on the west coast had discovered a product named ZIJA, 100% natural fruit juice, 60-90 minerals and vitamins in each 6 oz can $3.43/per can or 102.95 monthly for each case. He started taking it from what I understand to lower his sodium levels post surgery to strengthen his level of nutrition as quickly as possible and have all the needed vitamins and minerals consumed to fight the cancer cells that were consuming his good cells, nutrition is the only good ingredient you can obtain to fight off the destruction this disease causes, it is like pacman let loose. I started using the product the same year, due to the economy and only the economy I have had to cut back severely the last two years, but I will resume taking the right amount of this product as soon as possible. Who can say in this day and age they've not had a cold in 5 years? I can. When I was on it, I had no joint pain anymore, right now my back & hips feel the weather like a barometer, but when I am on it I am fine. Prone to ear infections from allergies, allergic to grass and leaf molds, but when I am on it I am fine. On it I lost 30 lbs, off it I gained back 15. Is it not worth $3.43 a day? Ear infections, abscess of a tooth, throbbing nerve in a tooth = root canal, I take 1 tsp. and 2 tsp. honey, mix into a paste and eat, whaala, the symptoms go away with in five days. Oil of Oregano and all it can cure. I am saying you don't need to diminish your body and health with antibiotics, there are natural foods, and ingredients which can cure many ailments, so that I no longer understand why people are stubborn and won't try this, why won't they read or research enough to know they have another choice. A healthier choice. Holistic MD's exist, Dr. Mercola is in Hoffman Estates near Higgins Rd, why can't people simply try this other avenue?

Pay Taxes & Die, humorous hardship,over a 401K, his/theirs

The end of a long story: Let me preface this tale by saying we've tried hard to be a kind and gentle people, we've worked hard, and the only savings we ever really accomplished was through my husbands 401K which unfortunately we needed to cash out in 2009 due to the collapse of the home construction world as we knew it, his own lay off, attempting to find a job, which no kidding had once been comprised of picking up the phone, calling 2 or 3 past coworkers and whaala the next day you had a job, usually at your same level. The housing market was and is so devastated by the fall out suffered in 2009 that even now in the spring of 2011 it shows small signs of starting up again, most construction companies switched to commercial projects much of which involves union and back dues if you were to attempt to re-enter with many current members ahead of you on the long lists. So we must survive and choose our only avenue left to our eyes, but the company we withdraw from does not mark it as a hardship, and later refuses to mark it as a hardship even though it was. When it's not a hardship then you are liable for the tax on it and a penalty, The tax was taken right off the tops for the most part, but the penalties were not, and upon doing the taxes for 2009 well we'd end up owing almost eleven thousand dollars, odd that was the same amount we had left to live on after a particularly harsh winter. So you make choices, we chose to continue living and paying our bills out of what remained, and filed for a tax compromise claiming hardship, your life in numbers documented, and re-documented, and critiqued, and more documentation requested by our very sincerely helpful IRS who does understand the millions of Americans effected by hardships since the great bailout of idiot banks and investment houses began two years back. After a 9 month pregnancy of waiting for an answer, and the stress involved in going up against an entity you've always been afraid of, they tell us we've got it, we heard of so many declinations to other people we know we are amazed. We're to pay them the 1/3 we offered. Doable we already paid 2/3 of that, Loopholes is the get any return from this year, which is also needed by our household. (Written in 6font on the back of a form we had signed) Our accountant who we finally fessed up to this week while doing this years taxes is not surprised. We've never had a tax return of $5K plus until now. So, we like idiots smile as we realize they got most of the original tax penalty involved, we did save a little by months and months of paperwork, finding exactly why I made various deposits and withdrawals from two years ago, how the hell would I remember when this brain is Swiss cheese personified, yet I was forced to spend hours and hours on this computer between the banks and my quicken, and can only say God Bless Quicken and Intuit who made it, my saving grace little notes I made so I would not forget, in case I ever had to re-construct. It was a small win, but I guess doable in the long run. The housing market is still not active, bare slow traces of some backed by megabuck corporations are seen (just as happened to our farms), they usually want to pay the person 2/3 or 3/4 of what they previously earned for such a set of job skills, and thousands of applicants for one position. So we again erase our minds of what could have been, should have been, we stay to the present and that we all still breathe, we look to spring sunshine to lift us up and and along, and we will reach a time deadline imposed by ourselves for the next very tough decision, until then we wait for a phone call, a stay of execution, some way to remain here with honor, with some semblance of self esteem intact. Otherwise it will be time for the next steps which we hope we won't have to walk. Hardships, what's the definition? Each man thinks he can define it. But let me tell you it is different for each man and woman. Along with the bailout, could a protection have been placed for the people, yes, it was even mentioned in the great pre-election, was it done, no.....it was a sentence on the wind of past memory along with the rest of it. And so onto the next chapter....

A Book, A Thought, am starting over: "The Secret"

I have such good recall on so many items, especially the past, but I also have a swiss cheese memory problem going on, I should be labeled at times: "Retains Water". My son and husband are aware of it, and they keep an eye on me to see how it shapes and if it spirals, the reasons can range from too many 106 fevers as a child to, a wooden baseball bat, or too many years of stress, the only good news is, I'll forget I've seen a movie, I'll forget I bought a given ingredient already for the kitchen larder, I will forget for weeks to get other items needed for the household, I preface this happy writing with this as I might have read or seen this book before but I have just a flash of that possibility, if I read or saw it previously, well I have forgotten that: A few weeks back one gal up at work, our property manager for the building mentioned she'd read a book recently and it changed her life, I was intrigued, she told me it was called " The Secret". Mental note that I made and actually retained was to hunt down the book, I mentioned it on facebook, and my best friend of childhood days Cyndie ordered it, and had it shipped to me, I received it on thursday, and finally started reading it yesterday. Now I've never been a materialistic gal, yes if I was rich I'd have a fine set of clothes and shoes, but I am not currently rich in any money sense, but I am rich in the people who encompass my life, I have many good friends, and I have a wonderful family, quirky at times but a fool I would be not to see the actual wealth and richness of people surrounding me. This books entire point is based on "the Law of attraction" which I blotted out somewhere in the past just cause I didn't like how it was phrased....I don't like the word attraction actually, it makes me think of the old dating seen a different attraction meant entirely. With the Law of attraction, simply restated a magnet will attract a similar magnet, so "it's important how you think, think about the things you want to see on your horizon, and what you'd like to see shape in the future, think about it only in I Want & I Need, and it will shape. Correct old ways of thinking about what you don't want, don't want's attract only don't wants. So from this day forward as long as my memory bank can retain: "I am only thinking about what I want to see shape up, and I will only project out for good positive thoughts on that horizon", and life should extend itself to re-shape Magnet pulling like to like.

Is the cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? A trick question

I have always been fascinated by the perspectives of humans on the following question: Is the cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Go one, just ask it, even people you think you know well will surprise you with the answer. Really, you'll be surprised. Spice up your day, and just try this out. I've always seen it as fuller, someone else will always see it as emptier. The real answer is: Each one of us "IS THE CUP", we determine what's in the cup, at the very least we determine what we think is in the cup. We are the cup.

Fridays

Fridays, are awesome......Mode of the day: "I CAN DO THIS": Crazy work week, major account up for renewal, all of the details to get the quotes obtained, and poof we can't find the customer/client, I've had to smoke her out before, best done by email one liner's of "Call US", it worked got the details nailed out., and onto typing up numerous id cards for their fleet of vehicles, and certificate for all their driver destinations, many downtown buildings that have insurance requirements and wording to choke a horse, but so far caught up with all that, by 3pm my mind becomes a sludge pond, and I take a 4 minute smoke break = 1/2 a smoke, I have never officially been given a break so this 4 minute things been going on for 7 years now, as needed once in the afternoon on rare days. My nephew works for her, it was how we got him restarted after his business closed. She keeps up on his baby with me, she knows our stories, her own mom is going through chemo now and in town to see a specialist, that's why she eluded us, and now we're good again for awhile. Now thrown in all the other clients of the day, resend this so and so didn't get it the first time, an elderly lady who can't make up her mind on her vehicle coverage, now she's fun, comp only not driving it didn't get my license renewed in December, versus two days later needing full coverage lies and says she got her license renewed, and then next week back again.....I could just type this into the insurance carrier's comment slot and get it canceled for no license, but haven't had the heart yet....although she's pushing it. My poor Barry who used to be a young and impetuous rich kid, always a demanding attitude, that owned 13-16 buildings in Chi town at all times and would fix them up and sell them off, oh what this economic collapse did to him, he got stuck holding 13 buildings, prices plummeted and he can't give them away, yet he's lost so many tenants or some building weren't rented out yet, he cannot always make his bills, mortgages, insurance bills, they all keep him stressed, and yet the whole experience has made him kinder and more understanding as we've grown in our 7 year relationship, his laughter at the adverse has kept us both going, he is horrible with paperwork and I've offered to drive in and help him organize for free....he laughs as he tells me he shreds his incoming faxes and bills, thus the phone calls needing to know exactly what he owes, "incorrigible" was designed for him. Yet Barry is my favorite now. I used to want to whip him. Parents calling to find their son never reported an accident, nor filed a claim on a recent event where they were the wronging party. And so it goes, day after day, all these people with so many different problems and how to best help them, and throughout echoes of our own lives real and personal so that you struggle harder to find a solution for the needy people of this time. The week packs a whallop, and you need saturday to find sunday the actual day where you know who the hell you are, and what you feel finally undaunted by all these shadow stories. So yes, I am happy when it's friday.

Another Day, March 2nd

When was the last time you watched a sunrise? He preps for an interview, one more important than others as it is his familiar line of work, he looks great, dressed in a suit walks out with his folder, embarking on an hours ride to this place further away, but totally doable. He's was recommended to these people by his old boss which can only help with the morning. One small step for mankind. He and I are each others mood elevators, I cannot say how many times in the last two years we've asked each other if the other was alright. Some white light on him, too. I hope he catches a break so he can resume pride of work, and spend his days working on a job site, instead of tidying some damn thing here, all of which starts to erode a soul or spirit. I would not care for the planet without him. (That is how I can so feel my sister's plight, she is the great pretender, her life ended 3/4th's about 4 years back, she is bullshit & baffle personified as she facially greets her world, still a light hearted joker for the masses, but inside she is deadly serious to this day, dabbling in a few things until she can be released to follow her pal.) So, hopefully today will bring us good news from all walks, the last few days were a little chaotic, disconcerting, whatever. So let's just visualize that soon this man will go to work daily, coffee thermal cup in hand, and that some level of normal can be returned to his days..... Here's to seeing it played out and finished, yes I am picturing it now!

Some white light, please.

A day can be mighty long, a long lazy day, a long work day, a long day in events. Your religion can start to slip at times, unsure of what you believe anymore, and yet you find yourself praying, so I guess I have to stick with Jesus for the last round, he was always the one I prayed to anyhow, he's a paragraph in a dictionary, but has always been big in my life of decades. So simple really and a win win, they wrote gospels off him all the good stories I learned to read off of days prayer book as I was shoosh in church, not understanding some parts and Dad conveying what it meant in Chicky speaks, Mom giving us a look for talking in church, and days when was reversed, but I learnt the beauty of how it should be from those stories, and I learned the sadness of history from those same stories, and I cried the first time I heard of holy thursday, the betrayal, and of course the finale of what is called Good Friday, which has never seemed good to me. So I pray to someone who either had a great advantage over the common man, and yet lived as one, I pray to someone who was the greatest story teller of all time, I pray to the goodness that he left in his past for us to find. The week brings events of babies re-hospitalized for ailments we wish they didn't have, so we pray for them, car accidents other are involved in and we pray for them, we pray that they only have good things shape for them, our love for our family is bigger than most perceive, these older eyes have seen much pass, but there are certain things we would never want for our family. So Jesus if you have any power to guard, and powers to guide, please keep the white light over those I love. I am not perfect, I am not without fault, but it is the good one asking you for light over this all.