The Young Songwriter, a young woman

When I was 17 my brothers gave me a crashcourse in guitar, then left me to fend for myself. I bought a guitar chord book, a classical guitar for about $64. and a moody blues song book. I went home and taught myself slowly everything I needed to be happy with a guitar. Oh can fingers ache, eventually you gain callouses. That guitar and I were quite often one, we really got through alot of things together. I whaled on it, I'd sing my heart out, I wrote some pretty damn good songs on it. I bought a bunch of new sheet music, and song books as the years unravelled and kept going with it. It was my soul saver until I met Mr. Rick, then he saved my soul. Music is still what gets him and I through any of the tough spots, it helps us cope., mend, relax, and we even clean house better if it's on.

Dream M 072508

Do you know the value of "a day"? Well imagine my surprise at seeing you. You above all people do know the value of a day. I don't know what it means, but I will try to put it down. Mike dressed in his blue suit...no white shirt, shirt is yellow, tie has some maroon in it, he's sitting on my piano bench (Mine's painted white) legs crossed, no cigarette but cigarette demeanor implied, Kate's next to him trying to talk to him very sincere in her explanations, he's looking away towards Kit, and Me. Kit tells Katie to stop taking all of his time, she tell Katie that Dixie is the next one to talk to him, she tells Katie to Move On that Michael is waiting to talk to Kathy M, Michael smiles at me, eyes showing warmth, ignoring Katie now to listen to Dixie. Katie is frustrated but won't get up off of the piano bench, Dixie talks to him warmly, he smiles some more, done, and it's my turn to go by him. KM Wakes up as she's getting up to go ......... What does it mean, where was everybody else, where's Rick? Can't get the jest of this, but it was good to see you, you looked more like you did for Krissie's wedding or my folks funerals, my favorite pallbearer, and we joke about you being aged and being my pallbearer even if you had to tie chains around the frickn casket & pull it down the church stairs, funny there is no replacement for you there either. And the adopted sis still laughs at the picture it conjured. You thought I was the spacey one, but I did make you laugh a bunch with my bullshit imagination. So what's your point with the butterfly on my hood, the fallen prayer card, and now this dream? I can't tell if I'm staying or going? So, I just have to keep doing whatever it is I do everyday until then, OK? Kath

The loss of a parent

Do you know the value of "a day"? One goes suddenly, there is a problem, you call 911 , you wait, they come, siren intense this time it's for yours, and before you know it, they've stabilized and your following them in your car to the hospital, you intensely watch that vehicle ahead of you ever thankful as it gets further ahead of you, as they are getting closer to better help. Then come the explanations of the problem that has occurred within the persons body, emergency surgery, small hope given, age taken into account, and that few make it from the surgery, he's bled out most of his blood into his body, "we'll try our best", 5 hours of staring at the walls, praying, watching your family members do the same, one is on a plane 4 hrs out, I don't think I ever prayed that hard in my life. Patient makes it through the surgery.....flatlines within 12 more hours, too much damage done to the heart by the rupture. Oh my God, a person I never really thought would be gone is. Was my goodbye heard, was my hand felt? Another has pains, we do doctor runs getting assessed, anything to further us as the pains persist, and worsens. Finally it is much worse, we get the last appointment expedited, entrance into the hospital requested, more tests.....Blockage......Surgery.....Oh no he comes out to speak and I catch only "her body is riddled with it", Oh Gods, 1 month after we're into Hospice, and 29 days after we are done. Did she understand the purity of love and care given from one who's hearted was heavy and broken? And that is how we become an Orphan. How many times have I wanted to tell them one more thing? How many times is the best I can do to stop and bring them flowers and babble to them anyways? I will miss them until I follow, I will love them and their good values given all the days of my life, The Inner Child

Healings set in motion, 3 items invoked + more

Do you know the value of "a day"? A Week? Here's a fragmented recipe some learned on my own & some taught by my friend aka father-in-law : 1. So thoughts given, I went back to my obsessive Physics Law, and have tried all week to think on it....to every action there is a reaction, how to correct? Set other items in motion as they'll have a reaction, too, won't they? 2. Tell the bottom lined truths, not the crap filler people want to look like truths, the real bottom lined truths must prevail. 3. Well if it's true that when we don't care for a quality in another...we are to look within ourselves and correct our own flawed quality...and supposedly and sometimes true, it will spiral outward by our having looked inward at our own flaw-correcting our own flaw, and sometimes, maybe all of the time. 4. Completion of steps 1-3 = 4Th step. Ready, set, go: Words=thoughts=deeds= I AM SORRY, I FORGIVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. I forgive you, I am Sorry, I LOVE YOU I Love You, I Forgive You, I am Sorry. Reversal of First Law of Physics could Occur.
Apathy Approach if 4 not completed, hold a rock in your fisted hand as long as possible, feel the hurt in hand as anger in body, after 5 minutes, let your hand open drop the rock and all of your anger.....flows out and away with it.............. be relieved.......deeply relieved of all of the anger. If incapable of any of this, more wisdom is needed than what is in my poor, bizarre brain. And if I've truly reached this level in my life, I can't really have too much negativity back flow into my space, So The brain has given all it can to the recipe, and must retreat to it's own good space. Life is short, and then we ....................., so let's enjoy the best, the sun, the sky, us. The dust will catch us too soon.

Life, a tribute to an incredible man

When was the last time you saw a sunrise or a sunset? Do you know the value of "a day"? Odd, I finally wrote you your tribute last night, I had been unaware of it's existence until Lee presented it. I've been confused between grieving over your endgame, and celebrating all that you had created, nutured, and loved on this earth. I think I felt I was loving it all, and enjoying it all for you still. I felt your approval in 2007 when you sent all the monarch butterflies. Gods, Chicago, Fantastic, so very cool of you to do this for all to enjoy, the wonder you put into our hearts. I smile for this. I watch the air more in anticipation. This years butterflies have been white, less volume, but you had gotten to a good place. And the deer, the mother and fawn you had toy with me two days in one week, she trusted me, why? So did the baby. Oh well, You know we all love you still, miss you still but now we will continue on our paths, a little muddled, a little worn down, but time is precious isn't it? I took all of the other writings off, I knew you enjoyed some of them, and others you let me think it out on, I did appreciate that. I will go back to taking care of your brother, your friend so much like you-but harder as I told you he would be, he always hides the gentle part well from the world so they don't burn him too easily. And though it will be harder for awhile, we still will ride shotgun as promised. I love you well my friend, and now I shall go on. As I told you the day they sent me in to say goodbye, I cannot do that, so I simply will tell you as I did then: "I'll see you later"! You smiled as your smiling now, cause I am still such a girl...sometimes. A Tear & A Smile for you, Love Kath