St. Alonso's Tears

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." — Oscar Wilde (Lady Windermere's Fan) I saw this quote this morning, took it for what it implied which is quite true at times, and then started smiling as I thought back to it's literal sense: Sometime back in 2006 when we traveled to San Diego, a meteor shower was to occur one evening, and after dark Sarah had the thought to have us all go driving up into the mountains to see this show named St. Alonso/Alonzo's Tears. Higher and higher we'd drive and get out to see what we could see, but Sarah wanted it darker and to be further away from the city lights casting any glow, so she's have us remount our seats in the vehicle and she'd driver higher to next level, and we'd test it out. We did this drive up into the next level some 4 times before we came to a weigh side/rest stop parking lot, it was amazing cars were parked everywhere in no particular order, and their occupants were laying on sidewalks, in the parking lot, on huge ledges that bordered land drops. And so we looked up to watch the stars, and eventually tired and found that laying down was really the best way to see the most of these spectacular shooting stars. The cries did appear to be crying shooting stars. It was a special evening that prefaced an important chapter in our lives. Being in love with this planet and it's beauties, I have found it comforting that sometimes it gives you such a wondrous present of beauty, which will see you through many dark days, and that many times you just need to understand that this beauty goes on and on, no matter what your current day brings you, that beauty is out there somewhere in our world.

Simplicity of Soul.

"Have you ever seen the Sunrise?" Listening to music can be a wonderful reviving experience for the soul, Iron n Wine is today's choice Resurrection Fern, Flightless Bird-American Mouth both work for then & now. Sometimes we get so bogged down with what society has made important in the measure of a man, that we can barely see straight the purity of souls before our eyes. I see you. I see you every day. I see your beautiful actions of heart in motion. Yes I laugh and tease you as nothing can stay out of place for more than ten minutes, but you constantly try to make something better for one of us, all you have to do is spot what is lacking, or who needs a hand, and you're there in the middle of it, and people wonder why I am in the middle of too much, but the truth is it is probably due to living with you for light years. Without you I never would have bothered to right wrongs or wage battles, I am to resiliency what you are to visual matter. Summed up you try to fix what the eye can see, and I try to fix the things the eye can't really see, but they are there real time despite their being invisible to most. Some of it became so devastated, I now refrain from from fixing anything but my own Sails, I cannot change what doesn't want to be changed, I cannot undo all the hurts, and once I learned that lesson, I totally went back to our life, which is a good life as you're in it. You are so beautiful, how the hell did I ever chance to cross paths with you on the streets of Chicago? Final answer: It was worth the entire path! It was a good match regardless of speculations made, we are both of the same simplicity of soul, everyone is loved, everyone is cherished. I love you, I forgive you, I am sorry all equated to " You can come home now all is forgiven"?

Facebook & Religion

"Have you ever seen the Sunrise?" Here's my answer to the one's posting on facebook their precise idea of what God & Jesus are or should be, but by posting their rendition they put upon the rest of that we should feel identical with grand precision as they feel, they are making it too complex when it really is a simple matter for the present day: The child within believes much, and the adult she emerged into believes that the real miracle lies within each of us, the beauty of each soul, love of heart given, the sacrifices made for another out of purity of soul, and the way we cherish each other as we learn from loss, exactly how we should live. ** kms 04/2011

Crossroads

Coming off of a major powered week (thank you Aries), had classes monday and tuesday, crammed numerous insurance facts into this aging brain which has many memory problems, swiss cheese at it's finest as we all wonder what I'll remember and what I'll forget, so it was urgent to me to take the test for these classes as soon as possible, studying each morning and night just to try and retain the State's desired facts. Awesome! I totally hyper blast mindlessly out the door to the test, thinking there is no chance in hell I can pass either segment, mindless is an interest word, I doubt few can actually how close I was, brain seeking to understand small words by yesterday morning, a struggle at best, and so they sit my down at the monitor, and miracles can happen: My mind can focus on one question at a time as that is all these wonderful people put up onto the screen, no longer seeing a row of 10 questions leading to 50 more is a small miracle in itself, yes I can do this 1 question only actually helps me to refocus and find some calm within myself. 2 hours later they tell me I passed both segments? " Your kidding" I utter, and the girl smiles reassuringly. So now I wake up after finally catching up on some needed sleep and rest for the noggin, and I find I am drained, and I have no desire to make progress today. I have bills, I have no money left as I just paid the ever lovely mortgage, and truck. I need groceries, but procrastinate spending my remaining money. I see no job solutions on the horizon for my dear partner in crime, so I know I should market the house and get out from under the higher ticket payments, yet it is a conversation I really hate to have, if I don't want to do it, how can they, and yet it is beginning to look like the only solution to this God Aweful Housing Collapse that keeps one of us jobless, I believe in him so much if I had the money I'd hire him he's so capable of running any project. Instead I take an April 1st deadline, and move it to April 15th, and from the 15th I move it to May 1st, and before you know it I'll have moved to May 15th, but that must be it my friend. And then we will have to face the music, and face all these lovely housing in our neighborhood that have been on the market for the past 2 1/2 years, eh? And knowledge of short sales, only to avoid that F word, Foreclosure or so we hope. Of Course F starts alot of words, doesn't it? And so I will do little or nothing until I can move again. "The Beatles- " She's leaving home, Bye Bye".

Pleasing people, living up to others standards:

K & R 11/14/1975* One week later: Triangle Park, Chicago & Guitars in hand, and look where it got us:"They sat together in the park, as the evening sky grew dark, she look at him and felt a spark tingle to her bones, twas then she felt alone and wished that she'd gone straight, and watched out for that simple twist of fate" - Simple Twist of Fate/Dylan & Baez ******** Found this slightly remembered quote this morning, still love it: Famous words from poet John Lydgate, later adapted by President Lincoln - and appearing in various permutations: “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”. Simply put we cannot be all things to all people, if we please one person, we might end up dis-pleasing another. And yet they say they want us to be ourselves, they want us to just be the person they claim to love in us, and then they go and try to change us?