A story for a friend who stood by me, in my dark.

Another Day in Paradise I wander to: When was the last time you saw the Sun rise? Who knows why I thought of this today, but I did and I started laughing by myself while standing in the kitchen, and I knew I had to try and write this one out. Eleven years ago I knew life had gone out of balance again. I can't tell you what aspect, but it was big to me. Ten years ago I felt like I had lost my mind, and struggled to stand strong and go on in a very chaotic world....known to me as Kathy's World. Sometimes the people within our world simply change one day and head down a different path the cause and effect of this can lead to chaos for those of us with rose colored glasses it can be devastating, until we all find a path to walk. So we stand and try to do something sensible like painting the house, destroying your own well loved gardens , hanging out with your crazy friends so you can become less numb and feel that you are capable of a life still, the struggle of finding yourself after years of being layer with multiple personalities within your own unit, whatever, and sometimes you get a bug up your ass to do something slightly insane..........and if you're smart you will call a friend for guidance.....my insanity was my closet, I was very angry at my closet, it had organizers made of wood, that I no longer wanted in my well fed rage, clothes unloaded onto floor, a reciprocating saw in my hands-plugged in, a chair to stand on for height, I called my friend Mike who could give great stability let alone instruction to me on how to cut out these organizers without maiming myself, after we got through the paragraph on why I shouldn't do this, he caved and actually stayed on the phone with me while I destroyed my closet, no doubt smiling at times as he warned about nails not to be hit, not to fall off of the chair, stressing how careful I was to be in my wacked out world. He got me safely back to unplugging the tool after I had destroyed everything I possibly could for that day, it was my 40th birthday and my immediate family was all out somewhere, with their own friends of choice, I had been totally forgotten, in this new midlife crisis world. My friend had great humor and love with me, he understood my rage and he seemed to love me better as a sister possibly all the more for my follies, as I tried to ref-discover the path that was concealed in the dark woods. He would become my guide. More phone calls would follow, cutting the bottom off of a Xmas tree, oooohhhh I got the reciprocating saw out again, this time December, outside and cold, oooppps the tree sap really does stick to the blade, times almost hitting the frickng cord...that could have been life altering, oh too funny. Recipe calls, advice, caring. Years before it was back up parent, who do you call when your child is sick, someone logical who has older children, right? The voice of experience? Calling him with updates on his brother after back surgery, concern as they couldn't seem to get him regulated...after this surgery they claimed was so simple of a procedure. Watching his brother shed lbs after lbs before the Thyroid even became suspected, knowing it was headed for a very big permanent problem, always listening to me think it through. And the advice or additional thoughts given. So much alike in our conclusions. Pacing outside a hospital again, chain smoking, babbling the doctors findings on my Ma to him, letting him know I had to pretend in front of her for a month, she couldn't know what we knew, he stood his ground and still remained the friend, reassuring that it sound like all was being done for then. My dear friend it is no wonder they left your phone on for us, this has been so hard, and in conclusion none of us really understands still- the choice of you, but we do see it going on time after time to more nice people....I still love you, I still want to call you, I still want to hear you say...."The thing you have to remember here is"......... or "That there is used for..."