A Birthday, remembrances thru emotions

It's still amazing to me all of the emotions a birthday can stimulate. I have been an orphan for the past 4-16 years, dependent on if an orphan after Dad was gone or an orphan after Mom was gone, thus both gone. You never stop missing your parents if they were well loved by you, and you well loved by them. (It is the unconditional love between parents and their children, nothings too big to be forgiven, when you're a teen they just want to see you survive until adulthood strikes, although that days goal can be different for each young adult.) My Dad knew this as he had tears escaping his beautiful brown eyes 7 days before he would pass as we stood at his parents graves, and his parent had been gone along time, but in my Dads words " You never stop missing them". He died a week later in 1990 from an aortic aneurysm, surgery successful, patient passed out of this bodily world from too much damage to the heart from heart attack suffered at the burst. He was a good man, and a good father. A Hard Worker of double jobs for many years. His real personality was able to come to life as his work schedule diminished, and he had the time to be himself, and finally enjoy his family and it's host of characters. God's he took me fishing with him, which was cool, he'd rather have been with my brother any day fishing, but no he was stuck with a girl who had to pee way to often out in a boat that the girl couldn't pee over...like a boy could. Then I cast my rod at one point, ask my brother I do love casting the fishing rod, and my poor reel flew off into the water. I had the same bad grace that day to help my Dad by pulling the anchor up, and instead it fell off into the Pistakee Bay waters. God's by the time we came home, he must have wanted to shoot me, but instead he asked if I had a nice day. Yes I did, as long as I was out with him, sunshine or raincoats, pee trips, or my ungraceful moments, and I was the child who still got car sick on long rides, hell that didn't leave me till I was a driver, then I learned car sickness comes from looking around, the driver must focus ahead, and poof it was gone at 16 yrs of age., but not at twelve. I miss gardening with my Dad. When I 16 he started teaching me to always give back to the earth and soil. I miss my mother's simple " I love you, Kath". Kath is a term of endearment only used by my mother in love mode, and my husband when he likes me. Kath is who is inside of me the most out of these multiple personalities I've developed in life. My Mom was my best friend in many ways, for oh so many years, I miss her many days, I miss her beautiful green eyes although my son has her eyes, and every once in awhile he have some trace of her show through in his expressions, that just make me marvel at him & think of her. She loved him well, so it all works. My son has mental capacities similar to my father as does our nephew on our blood side, he's got so many of my Dad's qualities of practicality that I'm am enchantingly mesmerized when it presents itself. I miss sitting around after a big meal, and talking with my parents, and siblings, and all the family members we've accrued as we married and grew. I miss them raising their voices to make their point against the other, smiling and laughing as we conversed. My husband well known by my side of the family as needing a soap box to speak from used to sit up on my kitchen counters at times when gathered and there he's go making his points on the topic of the hour, he eventually landed his ass in the birthday cake that was sitting next to him on the counter. He became another person who was well loved by my Mom and Dad, they called him their third son. He never really realized how proud they were of him and his self growth, they watched him become a man from a young man, they watched him follow his path and become who he wanted to become. The carpenter, their daughter's husband, the father of our son, their friend and a trusted " What does Ricky think?" became a question asked me often. Yes I am like Scarlett a bit & her friends of the old south missing other times, other friends. "And a civilization Gone with the Wind" One simple truth, You never do stop missing them.

A Hard World, but Always Worth the Journey

It's remarkable how harsh some time periods can be, and yet you always have to keep some form of humor, and continue to see some sunshine, some rainbows. I have my husband for now, who is one of my rainbows, we have a wonderful son for now, who is a ray of sunlight whereby you see the prisms of light. I have two blood brothers for now, who have both taught me to survive at one time or another. To them both I say "I forgive you, I am sorry & I love you" both, as I struggle to fix my karma before check out time. I have numerous good family bonds on my husbands side, we're each others strength and entertainment at times. I have found that each day, each week, each month, each year is worth the journey., it's an incredible life we have the chance to live, and we hopefully are all embracing it. I'm 52 years old very soon, and I still dance every chance I get. My karma is pretty good, and all of the above has enhanced my soul.

The Groundhogs Day & St. Valentine's Day

So if you came out on a day like today, 8 degrees above 0, tell me whether you would stay around to see your shadow? Grounds Hog Day when I was little meant Valentine's was coming, My Dad would bring a box of candy, HEART SHAPED direct from Fannie Mays for my Mom, and they'd give eachother a little pretty card, sometimes he's get us a little heart of candy the three of us would share. It was one of the evenings when they'd put their 33 records or 78's on the phonograph, they dance a bit before dinner, Dad would croon in Ma's ear, and they hold hands and smile at eachother. I was happy for them and happier for me as I knew the day after Valentine's was my birthday. I knew the next day I would get a card that was pretty, and maybe a new baby doll. My dolly Susie I am so sorry I fed you the bread soup through the hole in your mouth, I swear I never wanted you to get the black spotted bubonic plague and have to get buried in the backyard with Pokey the turtle, fish and Petie our parakeet. I learned that just cause a Doll has a hole in between her lips, you shouldn't necessarily feed them. This is being written by Chicky (who was the child.)

Solar Eclipse of the Mind

September of 2006: Three of us were having strange health problems at one time: One was being groomed for a possible kidney being removed, I was being sent for an MRI of the brain- the doctor suspected I had a brain tumor due to the distinct hearing loss, and our third friend they suspected a blockage in an artery causing seizures, we were all scared. I called my friend who was having the seizures while I waited for the MRI, we both wondered what we'd find at the end of our tests. We agreed it was scary not knowing. The younger man with the kidney, lucked out, it was something else. I lucked out, it was something else. My friend with the seizures did not luck out: Sometimes we have bad things happen or shape up in life and it becomes very hard to cope with the events, it's as if a giant cloud has rolled infront of the sun, and you sink down in depths and can't find your way up to the light. It tends to make the thinking powers go into such a warp speed that you're almost ready to shutdown as if electrically overloaded. In our case it's a fine man, a gentle man, a younger man than you might think, who has been a main artery in a vast family, who has always lent a hand to anyone in need, always had a kind word for those of us who are have been worn down or weary by our days, always sent us on our way a little bit more optimistic than we had been. I call him in jest "our GodFather", I kiss his hand at times to make him laugh...when he is in GodFather Mode. He is our friend, our confessional, he knows all of our little secrets, oddly enough he has never judged any of us., the way we sometimes do to others. Our fine man has been a body victim of the the condition known as cancer, brain cancer, glioblastoma the meanest of them all. He has won small battles with this body invader, and it still prevails, it is incidious. We must try to keep him focused, not discouraged. We must try and get him to look at all the options. But this will be very difficult, I hope he knows known of us can let this condition win without more battle. He is named for one of the Angels, his Aura which I can be blessed with seeing on people has always been a translucent white, this should not be happening to him. There must be a way around this one, at the very least more....more days, more time, more laughs, more conversations, more gatherings. There must be a way........

Keeping our own bodies healthy

So much reading, so little time. Sometimes we are halted in our walk thru life and we need to take the time to find out more about what's good for our own human bodies. We can find out so much we didn't know before. We can find out that Alkaline Food Groups should be 80% of our intake, and Acidic Food Groups 20%., not the other way around as most of us consume....totally headed in the wrong direction. We can find out that our own bodies should be tested for PH, and that our PH Level should be 7.4 or so (Most of us would fail miserably). We can find out that this type of proper food group intake would conduct oxygen to our cells, which is badly needed to keep them healthy and fighting our own bodies battles. We can come to find out, no surprise, that we have been our own worst enemy in body preservation, body repair, and fighting illnesses, just due to the wrong %'s of food group intake. We are and have been so ignorant in our bodies care, for so long that it becomes hard to climb out of the years of habit. But we will try, and by trying, we might make things a little better.

Best Days in Your Life

The Best Days of Your Life Was it discovering Caterpillars, and holding the poor thing all day? Ooh it's a worm in disguise?Was it the day a boy named Allan Miller kissed you on Moose's kindergarten Floor?Was it the day your mother bought you a soft ball size green rubber ball from the corner drug store across from Humboldt Park, which by the way had a stone drinking water fountain in front of it, and a soda parlor inside of it?Or was it the day you filled up your new baby buggy with dirt and worms and hauled it up 2 flights of stairs, and tried to implore you mother to let them sleep with you that night?=Memories from a child of 4-5 yrs old.Was it learning to love music from an early age (due to an Irish and Polish influence, ooh only some people know how to celebrate St. Pat's & St. Joseph's Day, a split household ethnically balanced in March each year)?Was it the first time you saw a rainbow stretched out over Humboldt Park?Was it going to church on Sunday and not dropping your little purse or gloves in the gutter as you existed the 55 Plymouth?Or was it listening to your brother sing like an alter boy angel every time he was on the swings, with that wonderful boy soprano voice he had?Was it the day your parents renewed their wedding vows after a very harsh time period for them?Or was it the day you met the man who would still make your heart do somersault's thirty years later?Was it the night he proposed?Or was it the cold February Day you stood on the church steps, smiling and laughing together while people pelted you with rice?Was it another day in February when you got to kiss your little boys forehead after he was born?Or was it the day you laugh so hard cause the same little boy had fallen out front, noticed his knee skin was gone, and demanded of you that you go get it off the sidewalk and put it right back on his knee?Was it all the days you looked into your husbands eyes and saw the love mirrored back at you?Was it the day you buried your mom, and extreme happiness came to you knowing she was within touch of your Dad's casket, and you knew a long and harsh journey had been ended well?Was it any Day your child laughed out loud and made you start laughing just for the sound of his?Was it the day you stood out in your yard viewing the garden of veggies and flowers with your angel standing watch, your husband beside you, and you cried for happiness?Or was it all those days?I think we are blessed with the many best days in our life. Posted by Heartbeat at 4:03 AM 0 comments: Post a Comment Older Post Home Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) Blog Archive ▼ 2007 (2) ▼ January (2) The Best Days of Your Life Me ke aloha ► 2006 (1) ► December (1) All Set For You Contributors Heartbeat The Talker

A Day in the Life of Sunshine (Edit 7/10/08)

To begin Sunshine's Blog, she asks:

Have you ever really seen the sunrise?

Many people think they've seen a sunrise, but how many have stood on a cold pitch dark beach in Florida at 3:30am and actually waited for the sun to rise out of that spectacular darkness, and bring it's warmth of day with it's wonderful colors which light our path?

When I was 18 my brothers took me on vacation with them to Daytona Beach, Florida, when we got there it was still dark for about 10 minutes, and then day break commenced, it was wonderful.

I so thought that this was a wonderful way to see a sunrise, so much so that years later back in April of 2000 I drove at 3:00am from Orlando to Daytona with my son, his best friend, and my friend Kathy so they could see the sun rise out of pitch black darkness., It makes all the difference.
First the dark, then that first slight reference to light way out on the horizon that brings the gulls and sandpipers with it, then a greater amount of light, and finally a slight orange that bursts forth into a ball of fire rising up out of the sea, bringing all types of promise for what the day will hold.
Now remember no matter what goes on in your today or my today, there is a sunrise and a sunset of magnificence, somewhere, someplace with the ocean tide as a musical background, gulls flying over and sandpipers landing on the beach, witnessed by many each and everyday.

And I have caught the sunset out west with my brother near Laguana Beach, it is a powerful sight as well.

Sunrise, Sunset like beautiful book covers to each days chapter.

My First Blog day and such a beautiful message sent to me. I have carried the feeling of these words with me for some time now:

Me ke aloha
aloha - love.Like most Hawaiian words, it has a variety of meanings:As a greeting it means hello or goodbye. As a noun it means, compassion, mercy, love, lover, grace, kindness. As an adjective, beloved, kind, charitable. As a verb: to love, to pity, to venerate. In some contexts it can even mean alas! In the doubled form: Alohaloha means to make love, express gratitude, affection, or compassion, or to give thanksMe ke aloha - With lovemahalo - Thank you.Possibly of portugese origin. Sometimes seen with the modifiers "Nui Loa", meaning "Big".
Posted by The Talker at 1:47 PM 1 comments
Saturday, December 30, 2006

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