Finding Soul

Yesterday, I found my socks, and old shoes which hadn't been in the recently flooded basement, donned them and drove my self over to Twin Lakes, it had been so long since I escaped, I who used to walk 2-3 miles daily and was energized for the days at that point, now walk with a maimed determination, knowing I need it as much internally as I do externally, I push on until my kidney tells me it's time to get home, and old girl laughing at the younger one who could do more than I can now, she hasn't quite yet and she moves me on through my days when I the present occupant would not have the stamina to push on, mostly due to bad tendons in feet that echo the ones in my hands, walking a distance is painful, but she laughs she's happy she doesn't have to do it with her hands as they are worse. It was so wonderful to be out there at 6am, ducks shrouding the shoreline in clusters that must have brought a night safety to them. The slight pinking of the sky as they sun said hello to the day. This is a lake where I fished with my Dad, my husband and my son when he was young, after dinner we'd tool over here summer evenings, weekend afternoons, we experience much peace fishing together, admiring eachother finds, laughing as our son caught " a big one" on a hook we'd cut the tines off of, and his very little "big one would slip off the worm back into the water, no need for us to hurt our little fishies. We did this in 88, 89, and early 90. My Dad came with to my sons baseball games, too, in the summer of 90 and spring, we'd troop to the other park with lawn chairs and cooler in hand and laugh as the little 5 and 6 yr olds tried to find a "Good eye" for batting practice, little ones bored in the outfield sitting down on third base during the game, not much chance of them tagging anyone out, it would take too long to stand back up. We often don't know while we're living it, what are the best of times, until we are deprived of more days like those. That is why we gain wisdom as we age, we gain more values of time and of our families. My walk gains me spirit, and a better frame of mind for my day, my week. Getting back with nature has been the healer and soother for this soul. I have to make the time for this one thing, consistently is the goal.