Finding soul, finding heart

"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Not enough, I seemed to have missed them lately, poor timing, or not tuned in, or all.

Days bring details at work, work seems to be consuming, chipping away at the edge you sometimes possess. The edge I refer to is a rather three D perspective of being able to see it all, and therefore any pieces lacking, therefore being able to anticipate what's needed before someone else would even know it was missing.
The edge I speak of to me really is a 3D view in real time used in days of old when out with the girlfriends for dinner I was 3D'ed, and could hear it all, read the room, our table, multiple conversations, and all the while I was soulfully floating listening to the piano player and tunes from the prior 3-4 decades float into the atmosphere bringing tons of memories out of the closet as he played his music.

I came to the conclusion that I liked piano bars, and restaurants with piano bars in them, it was good for the soul, a healing effect, a lovely component to feed the soul. Was I even at the table with them, mmmm, not as much as they thought, I was abstracted so many places transformed by the music you couldn't have caught all my fragments with a butterfly net, and the above is the best description I can come up with to define a soul, which is governed by head and heart. Music feeds the soul, always.

Now they'd pull me back down into the table eventually, some problem in a life there, asking opinions for a solution, I was brutally clear cut grasping a bottom line they didn't expect out of someone so quiet, some mix of myself and learned spousal behavior thrown onto the table for them grasp, eventually they came to count on me for these answers. Part of this was from the 3D moments, and part of it came from having an "Edge", not all people have, just as so many don't even have common sense, but I do believe the "Edge" derived itself from instinct, my instincts were developed strongly from growing up in Chicago, school, work, the streets, buses, beaches packed in summer, being chased multiple times by someone or something, morons in cars trying to coax a child, a rabid dog encountered, and cruel children, how the hell could you grow up in there and not come out it with great instincts? I always figured only New Yorkers could top it.

Somewhere during all these dinners of 10 years, almost every Friday evening we gathered, same group on occasion mixed with a straggler acquaintance someone dragged into the mix, music, people problems, humorous evenings somewhere in there I found a middle aged women who had much soul left, who had a side softened by music, but she emerged much harder than anyone in her family would suspect....
well maybe her mother saw the change, this harder self, maybe she'd morphed at some point in life too, so it served it's purpose well, it brought to the front someone with so many components she'd forgotten through the years had even existed, and in doing so made her stronger for all the next chapters that would play out, some bringing heavy duty days she couldn't have faced well the old way.

Sometimes you need to take the time, and realign yourself, listen to music, go to an art museum, read something heartwarming, feed the soul, and your heart will re-emerge, you might even get your edge back. We need to do more of that. Time out and take a step back....and see, really see.