Alice through the looking glass, who am I?

Every once in awhile we converse and really gain a different perspective on how a close person perceives us, it can be very enlightening, and it can be an ass kicker. To some people your interests or your hobbies are bluntly: stupid, a waste. In the same week another conversation, might examine that you talk to much and don't get to a straight point, that there is always a story, a "preface, a why, an epilogue". (I think of you blog, I think of you and wonder.) I remark simply enough: "That gives me something to ponder". I sleep on it. I think on it. My rationale tells me it is in part because I am a woman, we've talked more our entire lives, we were most likely born talking some sort of gibberish, and yet I see the Greek tragedy side of Pop Eye run amuck: "I am, who I am, What I am!". I am a 56 year old woman, who thought she liked/loved conversing with the people she was closest to, I am too old to really want to change who I am, or how I tick, and yet I am not valued for who I am really. Now, do I really want to be anyone else? Could I really be anyone else? Most people wouldn't know what to do with a quiet me, when I am quiet I must be sleep walking, or in an extremely uncomfortable surrounding such as one where I've been admonished a ton, or one where I have to watch and weigh every word said. And so I ponder, how do you change yourself, and do you really want to change? Wouldn't two of you, become a very boring thing? If everyone had the same hobby would that not become very boring as well? Like's don't attract for long do they, isn't it opposite's attract for a long haul so that there is always contrast of character and ingredient? Yes, to ponder: I am I said - Written by Neil Diamond L.A.'s fine, the sun shines most the time And the feeling is 'lay back' Palm trees grow, and rents are low But you know I keep thinkin' about Making my way back Well I'm New York City born and raised But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home New York's home, but it ain't mine no more "I am," I said To no one there An no one heard at all Not even the chair "I am," I cried "I am," said I And I am lost, and I can't even say why Leavin' me lonely still Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king And then became one Well except for the names and a few other changes I you talk about me, the story's the same one But I got an emptiness deep inside And I've tried, but it won't let me go And I'm not a man who likes to swear But I never cared for the sound of being alone "I am," I said To no one there An no one heard at all Not even the chair "I am," I cried "I am," said I And I am lost, and I can't even say why Leavin' me lonely still