Never understanding the whys

I guess I'll back up a step to monday and my first phone call of the day after I arrived at work, it was a long time client, once an airline pilot who had been married for 54 years to the same woman, a woman who had lost her memories these last 6 years, he cared for her deeply, and became very angry this year but would always generate the anger in his calls towards the insurance carrier who could not seem to deduct the correct amount of his checking no matter how many times my boss & I called them, I finally got it fixed two months back, and now the man is calling me to tell me his wife of all those years had passed, did I need anything from him for the insurances? I tell him how sorry I am that this has happened, I tell him I've been married for 37 years, and I cannot even begin to ever want to be without my partner in life, we talk a little bit more, and he thanks me for my words. Shortly after he emailed me a bio of her life, so I could appreciate all she had been. The situation stays with me thoughout my day, and my bosses day, they've lived near him for years so he's known the family for decades, stacked against my one decade. Now it is the next morning: In previous posts I'd written about two lady friends of mine that made me laugh so hard I always have trouble breathing, sometimes in Baker's Square we'd laugh so hard other people sitting near by would also start upon catching parts of the subjects they are the only ones that can reduce me to that type of laughter. I fear for my life when I'm out with them as I am likely to die from a laughing, breathless heart attack. The girls are both born in June so soon we should get together for our yearly bar-b-que, I am usually the griller, although Doris is the one that taught me to put 1/2 t of mayo into each burger so it'd stay juicy. At one point in time the 3 of us were Realtors together. But better yet friends rolled out of those doors. We meet yearly for a silly Beatles concert in the park that we've come to cherish, as our night out. We try for a pre-Christmas gathering every year. The nurses grown son thinks we other two are his Aunts, cause we were always there throughout his growing years. One emails me this morning the one who is now a nurse after having put herself through nursing school the past few years, she tells me our other friend who remained in real estate now has breast cancer stage 3, it's gone through the lymph nodes to the point that they're doing the treatment ass backwards: Chemo 1st, Radiation 2nd, and surgery last. I think to myself "liars"., my thinking gets progressively worse. I have never encounter an oncologist who could tell it like it is, why in the hell do they waste people precious time with frickn lies?. My friend is in deep shit. She'd be better off if she hit the organic food aisle's at whole foods, bought a good juicer, and went on a juice and herb self therapy binge to try and nourish the good cells., and did a detox on top of that. We will try to see if we can't sneak one more birthday grill session in. Today the child is sad, the woman is angry, and the shadow is trying to get us through our day safely. I wrote most of this yesterday, except for the first paragraph, and I am thankful that tuesday night my own dear mate tried hard to give me some better perspectives on tuesday emails from Laura about Doris which included Stage 3 and Treatment at Cancer Centers of America, my spouse points out that they have a better survival rate than the majority, and he says maybe their approach makes more sense than the one used most commonly. Hope is a beautiful thing.