Amazing unit of measure to use is this fine Election Question of 2012: "Am I better off than four years ago?"
Well let me answer this in Kathy Speaks which can be a unique way to view a few things, I am a person with good long term memory, bad short term here and there, but I most certainly remember sitting here in September 2008 the year that George Bush & his miserable co-hort were celebrating their 8th year of annihilating/running a country,
I looked at my dears 401K and saw it had lost many thousands of dollars as the stock market went bezerk, news medias hyping all the doom and gloom, more plummets, I did what everyone said not to do & I moved it out of the stocks, and into a safer slower mode, within 1 years time it re-couped some of that loss which would take us to September of 2009 and the total new construction housing collapse that would make me think way too often of Scarlett O'hara, and her Civilization Gone with the Wind, the great cicil war between the north and south left the South totally collapsed monetarily their currency no longer good, their estates manless or moneyless, decay and chaos reigning over what had been the Old South. Rhett Butler did sight to her that out of destruction come construction, and that rebuilding would commence again, profits were to be made out of that re-construction, new fortunes made by the builders and suppliers.
I was in my past life a history buff, it never ceases to amaze me how much could be learn from the past if man would only keep a clearer memory.
We were involved in New Construction so my man who had spent his adult lifetime building homes, supervising the many phases of building a subdivision became one of the MILLIONS laid off & phased out of an entire industry labeled New Construction.
And his wife who's ace card for making additional money in a pinched market, The Realtor in the family also became powerless in this field as all resale housing markets ground to a halt, then came the first glut of foreclosure homes, and another, waive after waive, year after year. Friends and selves struggling to hang onto everything they'd worked light years for. Many never made it, foreclosed on after being 2 months late, finally having a payment to send in the bank returned it to them already, they invoked the acceleration clause in the original signed mortgage, he tried to use the Home Affordable Mortgage Program being hyped and didn't make that either, he had owned his own carpet installing company, but his wife was laid off.....so not enough income, really, no shit Sherlock!
This was a gift given us by a republican choice of the people, those two men should have been exiled from the country once the stunts they pulled came to light.
Our current President and his opposition were pulled into the loop as they country sunk, 24/7 Congress & Senate sessions brought about the bail out of the very guilty banks, Wall Street, and automotive giants before our current President ever walked into the Whitehouse.
So short memories ensue, 2 years later the current laws allow a change over in the House that would fight every single bill the President would want passed, 2 years also starts campaigns way too early for the Presidents re-election or an opponent, 4 years later new elections 2 weeks away, the countries lost their minds and no one remembers what the heck landed us in this dung pile!
I remember. Am I better off than four years ago? Are we? We stood, we struggled, we sold off things near and dear, we tried, we made it, we survived it, and slowly it gets better, I see it here, I see it through my insurance agency as people call in for re-establishing their insurance on business, the amount of certificates of insurance the different companies ask for, some of the first and second wave foreclosures have sold off now. I see the shift of the New Construction trademen shifting to the Post Destruction as they fix up the pre-existing homes that economically collapsed people were forced to leave.
Would I elect Mitt for President? No way, no how, I would let him sit my dog. He's an actor and why people can't tell that from his ever changing answers is way beyond me.
The man who actually has a backbone to try and get some type of slow progress made is already in the house.
And for practical pigs everywhere: Why would you even want to risk the down time of converting, or re-establishing a new team at this most critical time, it would take them 2 years just to get up and running, we'd feel the backlash of that.
No Way, No How!
Sunshine
We all walk through our days together knowing we're not quite alone in it. When one is weak, another is strong, that with time and care we can survive it all, enjoying all the great days in between. The Good outweighs the Bad, and Forgiveness walks hand in hand with Love, doesn't it?
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Only time can ease some
"I shall walk this way but once, any kindness that I can do, let me do it now, for I shall not walk this way again".
And so constantly on face book we see all of the interactions and inter-reactions of people we know well and some people who have been acquaintances of varying degrees, we see their laughter, we see their sport team favorites, we see cooking trends they're excited for, shoes they wished they had, training increments they dreading ( I did not know police trainees had to be pepper sprayed nor taizored but I do now), we see birthday celebrated, illnesses and prayers wished for, friends rallying to support whatever is in someones day, comments posted supporting others out there.
We see people missing their parents and posting beautiful heaven thoughts. We also see people posting these heavenly thoughts for their children who have left the earth as we know it. I thinks sometimes I feel their pain more than words can say.
One of them is rearing his grandson. His own son had been in the armed forces, come home, and the coming home part seemed to be where the troubles began or ended, he took his own life, no one really knows what he was thinking they only know they miss him, and he left grieving parents, and a grieivng son who is about age 9.
So much unexplained, and them left wondering, did they not hear something behind the words said?
A hard one to move on from, only perhaps time will help heal some of the wounds.
Only time can heal some wounds, and an whole lot of love.
And so constantly on face book we see all of the interactions and inter-reactions of people we know well and some people who have been acquaintances of varying degrees, we see their laughter, we see their sport team favorites, we see cooking trends they're excited for, shoes they wished they had, training increments they dreading ( I did not know police trainees had to be pepper sprayed nor taizored but I do now), we see birthday celebrated, illnesses and prayers wished for, friends rallying to support whatever is in someones day, comments posted supporting others out there.
We see people missing their parents and posting beautiful heaven thoughts. We also see people posting these heavenly thoughts for their children who have left the earth as we know it. I thinks sometimes I feel their pain more than words can say.
One of them is rearing his grandson. His own son had been in the armed forces, come home, and the coming home part seemed to be where the troubles began or ended, he took his own life, no one really knows what he was thinking they only know they miss him, and he left grieving parents, and a grieivng son who is about age 9.
So much unexplained, and them left wondering, did they not hear something behind the words said?
A hard one to move on from, only perhaps time will help heal some of the wounds.
Only time can heal some wounds, and an whole lot of love.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
A Young Mans Dream
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" I saw a bit of it this morning, and I want to make it clear sometimes my sunshine rises through the eyes of another.
A young man in my bloodline I've watched grow up from the cradle on, he has always been a big favorite of mine, he is my nephew Ryan. Watching a little personality develop is a wonderful thing for an aunty, but in my eyes this particular one has always been intriguing, pretty clear cut about his likes and dislikes, well principled, his own worst judge so little disciplines ever warranted as he invoked his own. My husband told me yesterday was his graduation day (texted by my brother) from the police academy, and so Aunty smiled with pride over where the young man directed himself, much love for this young gent. And this morning she see his fine picture on face book. And she sees a sunrise through Ryan's eyes.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Life and Change
Oh the adventures of childhood, the day Cyndie driving the bike, me on the handlebars ran us into Pankau Drugs brick wall at Austin & Milwaukee, hitting the wall full steam & flying off the bars no slow motion there, as much of a dead end as any other ever reached in this life, pain...yes a bit. Teeth fine, and no breaks. And Lucky for Her she switched to horses in adult life.
But that same feeling comes now as we dead end one segment, and the unknown looms ahead like that damn brick wall, spend so much time really not knowing where we're going, good I guess for forcing you to really cherish the individual days.
The drive home from work you shake off the day, you try to have some kind of real living time with the family, these days that comes with so many varying schedules which inflict some type of mood disorder, the youngster wants to sleep, exhausted by his double jobs, his gal calls & wants to romp out for dinner, ask him a questions and he ignores you or grunts an answer. A different type of brick wall encountered some days, other days will get you a string of sentences describing one child out of hand at school, sometimes the parents altered the medicines prescribed for the child's current diagnosis, and this can really alter the abuse the staff members end up taking, bites, kicks, scratches, and occasionally the broken nose, all part of the staffs day as a youngster acts out, very little controls in his small package.
Spouse having just gruel through the weekly lawn mowing, that has each of us wanting to shrink the terrain closer to a city lot than even close to what we have.
All tired from a week as it nears it end.
4/5th's empty end out our thursday. Tired and quiet.
Some Football and sleep.
But that same feeling comes now as we dead end one segment, and the unknown looms ahead like that damn brick wall, spend so much time really not knowing where we're going, good I guess for forcing you to really cherish the individual days.
The drive home from work you shake off the day, you try to have some kind of real living time with the family, these days that comes with so many varying schedules which inflict some type of mood disorder, the youngster wants to sleep, exhausted by his double jobs, his gal calls & wants to romp out for dinner, ask him a questions and he ignores you or grunts an answer. A different type of brick wall encountered some days, other days will get you a string of sentences describing one child out of hand at school, sometimes the parents altered the medicines prescribed for the child's current diagnosis, and this can really alter the abuse the staff members end up taking, bites, kicks, scratches, and occasionally the broken nose, all part of the staffs day as a youngster acts out, very little controls in his small package.
Spouse having just gruel through the weekly lawn mowing, that has each of us wanting to shrink the terrain closer to a city lot than even close to what we have.
All tired from a week as it nears it end.
4/5th's empty end out our thursday. Tired and quiet.
Some Football and sleep.
Half here & 1/2 not
As I get closer to the next dreaded step of the next birthdays and see our clocks ticking a bit faster, clueless to where we're going, yet remembering so much of where we've been in the past, who we've been, I stumbled upon a puzzle of two swans in my facebook puzzled hearts game and it's beautiful, then subliminally I start humming a song, damn it's a song that was out when we were dating, just started this long trek. The lyrics still hold some meanings for me, and so I remain 1 foot in this present world, one foot in the past:
Wild Swans Against the Sun by Michael Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLzsIEZZz2g
Wild Swans Against the Sun by Michael Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLzsIEZZz2g
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Making a task harder
On a side note, you encounter the people out there who really can't seem to think ahead or anticipate in their work, odd for us neither one of us is like that in our work, so you will end up frustrated in your work day when you run into all the annals out there, who can't seem to connect their dots, think ahead or plan. This will seriously impact your own progress, as they seem to live their work lives this way, yet you need their piece of the puzzle in place to carry it onto the next level of yours.
One would have to understand that just like hate taking a toll on the human body, or conflicts taking a toll on your own body and health, so would constant aggravation and stress endured as people drag their feet on your needed details.
My own intolerance of this only makes me snap eventually, hopefully at the right person. Don't call me into your office, away from my work which I was doing, so that I can bear witness to you getting 5 minutes of finishing touches put onto something, if you're not ready for my involvement don't waste my time, even if you're the one paying me for my time.
Highest and best use of time becomes very regimented in a do-er. That's why you hired me, so why tie my hands?
"and so it goes"....- Kurt Vonnegut
One would have to understand that just like hate taking a toll on the human body, or conflicts taking a toll on your own body and health, so would constant aggravation and stress endured as people drag their feet on your needed details.
My own intolerance of this only makes me snap eventually, hopefully at the right person. Don't call me into your office, away from my work which I was doing, so that I can bear witness to you getting 5 minutes of finishing touches put onto something, if you're not ready for my involvement don't waste my time, even if you're the one paying me for my time.
Highest and best use of time becomes very regimented in a do-er. That's why you hired me, so why tie my hands?
"and so it goes"....- Kurt Vonnegut
White Noise, if you will
8 years back the office suites were full, equaling 4 peaople in addition to our own 4 people/staff . Our work office suite was half empty for the last 5 years the others had been moved out to a new location, so we had two larger suites to to right of us empty. Five years can be a long time. At first it seemed overly quiet, but trust me you get used to it, quiet becomes bliss on chaotic days of phones ringing, and people showing up un-announced.
You possibly become spoil, and then they rent out 1 office suite to a man & his wife starting a small company, and then after 3 years of that small increase of interaction, this year his company blossomed full gambit, he brought over staff from India and rented to two bigger suites, and within one weekend began to fill them, first 6 new staffers, then another 6, and some drifters that walk around throughout the day ever pacing with their wireless Macs, ever talking their tech support, some quietly, some loudly, now have fun and throw in that it's all in another language.
Another conducts all day multiple conference calls as if he is deaf, he speaks very loudly.
I am in the middle of this chaos.
It's really a struggle some days not to stop and scream at them to get back to their respective suites, to stop this insane foreign country method of having little or no regard for the other sharing the space.
It degenerates due to the foreign language, when I'm typing an email now I find I am struggling to keep my own words in my head long enough to get them onto the screen, or in phone calls I am starting to loose the thread for cohesiveness.
I want to cry some days. This is not me, how did I get here, and how long will I have to put up with this instant noise increase, and strutting back and forth like my area is a break room, everyone comparing their frickn days while I try to carry on with a new claim phone call.
It is white noise at it's best, like a scene from the old movie "snake pit", the insanity spews.
You possibly become spoil, and then they rent out 1 office suite to a man & his wife starting a small company, and then after 3 years of that small increase of interaction, this year his company blossomed full gambit, he brought over staff from India and rented to two bigger suites, and within one weekend began to fill them, first 6 new staffers, then another 6, and some drifters that walk around throughout the day ever pacing with their wireless Macs, ever talking their tech support, some quietly, some loudly, now have fun and throw in that it's all in another language.
Another conducts all day multiple conference calls as if he is deaf, he speaks very loudly.
I am in the middle of this chaos.
It's really a struggle some days not to stop and scream at them to get back to their respective suites, to stop this insane foreign country method of having little or no regard for the other sharing the space.
It degenerates due to the foreign language, when I'm typing an email now I find I am struggling to keep my own words in my head long enough to get them onto the screen, or in phone calls I am starting to loose the thread for cohesiveness.
I want to cry some days. This is not me, how did I get here, and how long will I have to put up with this instant noise increase, and strutting back and forth like my area is a break room, everyone comparing their frickn days while I try to carry on with a new claim phone call.
It is white noise at it's best, like a scene from the old movie "snake pit", the insanity spews.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
The Fun of Astrology
Aquarius: The Sun Enters Libra!
There's nothing laid-back about this week's transits! Firstly, Pluto turns direct on September 17, when power issues ratchet up. Then, a life-changing aspect occurs as revolutionary Uranus squares reform-minded Pluto on September 18 for the second time this year. Mercury then connects to this square on September 20 with not only its own opposition to Uranus, but a square to Pluto -- at which point you may learn something that prompts you to reconsider your plans. Finally, invest in your love life as the Sun enters Libra on September 22.
The truth is half of these dates forecasted are in the past. Just fun every once in awhile to see what they think is in store based on the planetary line up, the stars and gravity. This was a very old area studied by many great ancient scholars, and yet these days it's not given credit due tot the forecaster's not being scholars but people intent upon making a dollar off of it, and in addition to so much more has been discovered within and out of the Universe that they'd have to weigh in all of the new factors in their summations.
So yet another ancient tidbit of knowledge lies to the side of the road three legged now, and distorted, most of the truths drained from it.
There's nothing laid-back about this week's transits! Firstly, Pluto turns direct on September 17, when power issues ratchet up. Then, a life-changing aspect occurs as revolutionary Uranus squares reform-minded Pluto on September 18 for the second time this year. Mercury then connects to this square on September 20 with not only its own opposition to Uranus, but a square to Pluto -- at which point you may learn something that prompts you to reconsider your plans. Finally, invest in your love life as the Sun enters Libra on September 22.
The truth is half of these dates forecasted are in the past. Just fun every once in awhile to see what they think is in store based on the planetary line up, the stars and gravity. This was a very old area studied by many great ancient scholars, and yet these days it's not given credit due tot the forecaster's not being scholars but people intent upon making a dollar off of it, and in addition to so much more has been discovered within and out of the Universe that they'd have to weigh in all of the new factors in their summations.
So yet another ancient tidbit of knowledge lies to the side of the road three legged now, and distorted, most of the truths drained from it.
The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions
Of course I'm laughing. Man's best thought is " I would have, but....." or" I should have, but".
And there you have it, month after month, year after year, people make excuses for what they don't do.
I'm guilty of it, my paper work flow will salute that truth. I hate paperwork, it never ends, I'd put it all out in the fire pit in a blink, if I didn't know I'd be searching for some darn piece within the next two weeks. Example, medical bills, or auto service records, "did it have such and such done to it", and off I go trying to locate the name that tune of the hour.
Other people make excuses with family, "I'd stop if I had more time". Well here's the counter question: "How do you make time for everything else you do?"
"I'd go and visit if so and so wasn't there". Counterpoint: What the hell does one person matter if the other 4 are who you wanted to see?
"I'm not feeling up to snuff lately". Counterpoint: What can you do to change that, to make an improvement? If you could do two more things to make possibly better, why wouldn't you?
"I don't have time to read". Stay up an hour later and make time.
So you try to add in one more thing, push yourself a little bit more, take the initiative and you be the hugger the giver, make an attempt to make a sad song a little better.
Everyone feels the pains, the slow downs, but not everyone pushes themselves to make it a little better.
And that includes me and the paperwork, which should and hopefully will gets updated and filed.
And there you have it, month after month, year after year, people make excuses for what they don't do.
I'm guilty of it, my paper work flow will salute that truth. I hate paperwork, it never ends, I'd put it all out in the fire pit in a blink, if I didn't know I'd be searching for some darn piece within the next two weeks. Example, medical bills, or auto service records, "did it have such and such done to it", and off I go trying to locate the name that tune of the hour.
Other people make excuses with family, "I'd stop if I had more time". Well here's the counter question: "How do you make time for everything else you do?"
"I'd go and visit if so and so wasn't there". Counterpoint: What the hell does one person matter if the other 4 are who you wanted to see?
"I'm not feeling up to snuff lately". Counterpoint: What can you do to change that, to make an improvement? If you could do two more things to make possibly better, why wouldn't you?
"I don't have time to read". Stay up an hour later and make time.
So you try to add in one more thing, push yourself a little bit more, take the initiative and you be the hugger the giver, make an attempt to make a sad song a little better.
Everyone feels the pains, the slow downs, but not everyone pushes themselves to make it a little better.
And that includes me and the paperwork, which should and hopefully will gets updated and filed.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Loving Grandpa is Easy
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Actually I see the sunrise through other people as well. One of those people is Grandpa Dean, he's not my Grandpa he is my sons Grandpa, my husbands father. He is a keeper, and any I time I spend with him is very valuable to my human spirit or soul. He's been one of my best friends in life.
We've researched and enjoyed many topics throughout the years, Astrology in the 70's, religion in the 80's and 90's, herbal medicines and homeopathic medicine's that serve my family well the last few years for certain.
Sometimes I pick him up for his dialysis appointment, and it gives us the opportunity to talk a little, and check in on eachother, a good thing as we've both had a caring and loving relationship of many years. Even when I'd been naughty in a familial way Grandpa & our Mike always kept loving me for myself, few conditions imposed, so as close to unconditional love as I could get.
On our outings we use humor and care, and try to give some heart to the others we encounter who are also experiencing this treatment 3-4 times a week. Simply open the door for them as they come and go can ease many paths, or wheel chair bound people who can't get over the threshold hump so without thought placed not once but twice for their exit. I cannot tell you how many fine and warm hearted people we encounter, they always greet eachother, and check to see how another is fairing out, they also appreciate eachother more when a renegade crabby person is thrown into their midst, and yet even they try to be nice to crabby one and start to thaw that person attitude out a bit just by their simple caring ways.
One man is carrying his anger more than the others so he directs it to the various cab companies who come and pick him up, and with very bigoted questions directed at the others occupants in the waiting room, my second encounter with him finds he's been doing this for the last 7 years, and that this particular center opened in 2009 so it's a newer facility, his previous one was torn down and had been 1 block from his own house thus the cabbie hatred to be vented upon the 3 x's a week. He openly asks each member "what they are" as in heritage, I lose my reading concentration and begin smiling, he will always get around to me and what I am reading and WHY I AM READING IT. Yesterday he diffused quickly, he was very tired by the treatment, he called the cab and we all watched out for it for 1 1/2 hours as he nodded out in his wheel chair, and yet it did not come for him. Pace Bus Service also picks up other patients, and they are also reputed per the waiting room folks to average 1-6 hours late on pick ups. He wakes up from his nap, calls them back to find no one's coming, and calls another cab company, he then wheels himself over to the McDonald's that fronts the facility thinking he'll have a better chance of catching a cab next the busy street. I mentally assess how much wheeling strength is there, and despite his usual cranky start in the waiting room, hope that the Gods are kind and get him home sooner than later to his place off Broadway, I don't buy into his cranky thing I just see a man with Health Problems. Other people stop out in the waiting room to have a snack or drink of water, many have family there to lend a hand, and others wait for their various driver's : familial or hired.
An ambulance comes for one woman who's blood pressure and heart rate went askew off to St Jo's, Grandpa asks me later if I saw this play out, two weeks ago he mentioned he'd been reading and he'd found in his readings that sometimes people do need an ambulance to come due to blood related problems that crop up, he asks if I and my spouse are aware of this and gives me one of his sideways guarded looks to make sure I tell him the truth, he ends up making me feel a burst of love and again I am so happy he shares his time with us. As I said before he is a keeper, just when he might feel we're keeping him, he's really been keeping us.
We go to leave yesterday and we're driving out of the parking lot, a big old golden BEE flies in my window and lands on my lap, Grandpa always watching and accessing watches my reactions, I put it in park exclaiming "I can't do this, I can't do this" my left hand clutches my pants leg outward, the bee stumbles about drunkenly, takes a hop misses, 2nd hop & back out of the drivers window it goes. Grandpa sitting there smiling as I re-compose myself and start driving back home :)
We've researched and enjoyed many topics throughout the years, Astrology in the 70's, religion in the 80's and 90's, herbal medicines and homeopathic medicine's that serve my family well the last few years for certain.
Sometimes I pick him up for his dialysis appointment, and it gives us the opportunity to talk a little, and check in on eachother, a good thing as we've both had a caring and loving relationship of many years. Even when I'd been naughty in a familial way Grandpa & our Mike always kept loving me for myself, few conditions imposed, so as close to unconditional love as I could get.
On our outings we use humor and care, and try to give some heart to the others we encounter who are also experiencing this treatment 3-4 times a week. Simply open the door for them as they come and go can ease many paths, or wheel chair bound people who can't get over the threshold hump so without thought placed not once but twice for their exit. I cannot tell you how many fine and warm hearted people we encounter, they always greet eachother, and check to see how another is fairing out, they also appreciate eachother more when a renegade crabby person is thrown into their midst, and yet even they try to be nice to crabby one and start to thaw that person attitude out a bit just by their simple caring ways.
One man is carrying his anger more than the others so he directs it to the various cab companies who come and pick him up, and with very bigoted questions directed at the others occupants in the waiting room, my second encounter with him finds he's been doing this for the last 7 years, and that this particular center opened in 2009 so it's a newer facility, his previous one was torn down and had been 1 block from his own house thus the cabbie hatred to be vented upon the 3 x's a week. He openly asks each member "what they are" as in heritage, I lose my reading concentration and begin smiling, he will always get around to me and what I am reading and WHY I AM READING IT. Yesterday he diffused quickly, he was very tired by the treatment, he called the cab and we all watched out for it for 1 1/2 hours as he nodded out in his wheel chair, and yet it did not come for him. Pace Bus Service also picks up other patients, and they are also reputed per the waiting room folks to average 1-6 hours late on pick ups. He wakes up from his nap, calls them back to find no one's coming, and calls another cab company, he then wheels himself over to the McDonald's that fronts the facility thinking he'll have a better chance of catching a cab next the busy street. I mentally assess how much wheeling strength is there, and despite his usual cranky start in the waiting room, hope that the Gods are kind and get him home sooner than later to his place off Broadway, I don't buy into his cranky thing I just see a man with Health Problems. Other people stop out in the waiting room to have a snack or drink of water, many have family there to lend a hand, and others wait for their various driver's : familial or hired.
An ambulance comes for one woman who's blood pressure and heart rate went askew off to St Jo's, Grandpa asks me later if I saw this play out, two weeks ago he mentioned he'd been reading and he'd found in his readings that sometimes people do need an ambulance to come due to blood related problems that crop up, he asks if I and my spouse are aware of this and gives me one of his sideways guarded looks to make sure I tell him the truth, he ends up making me feel a burst of love and again I am so happy he shares his time with us. As I said before he is a keeper, just when he might feel we're keeping him, he's really been keeping us.
We go to leave yesterday and we're driving out of the parking lot, a big old golden BEE flies in my window and lands on my lap, Grandpa always watching and accessing watches my reactions, I put it in park exclaiming "I can't do this, I can't do this" my left hand clutches my pants leg outward, the bee stumbles about drunkenly, takes a hop misses, 2nd hop & back out of the drivers window it goes. Grandpa sitting there smiling as I re-compose myself and start driving back home :)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
My mistakes have cost me
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Yesterday, I saw it rising, and you'd think that would be sufficient, but not for this slightly crazy gal.
To the world the following story would not be jarring or earth shattering but it threw me off balance.
I came from humble people, and since we didn't have much, maybe we set a store by what we did have, maybe watching someone use their personal belongings over and over again, instead of going out and getting new like some folks as they tire of a dish pattern, a silverware pattern, more trendy clothes, whatever....I am just as happy with 37 year old cups, dishes, silverware only replaced here due a mindless creature our son brought home for three or four years who threw silverware out with paperplates, and took cups home by the gazooks, God's she was educated , medicated and mindless, a fine specimen of manic depressed disordered, suffice it to say when she babysat her niece and nephew she fed them pizza out of the garbage one day and thought she was a bonnie lass versus a potential dumb ass.
So, years ago I had bought tall tupperware cups, pastels with the lids, and Ma had a set as well, we used these for coffee every day of our married lives, it was one of the few things I had in the hope chest aka: my Grandma's cedar chest as we planned on getting married tupperware was apparently my material attraction. So we each had an identical set, ma's and mine.
Throughout the years mine would take more of a beating, lost pieces, whatever. When Ma passed on, I incorporated her set into mine, including her pink cup.
Now when the mindless bitch was staying here so much, I hid the pink cup cause I didn't want Ma's favorite getting abducted by her, I hid it in the cedar chest until that girl was out of our lives. I know a petty move perhaps, but I was trying to hang on to something.
The last three years as we've sold off jewelry, records, books, anything that wasn't nailed down, yet held a value to be adding to the ever-lacking mortgage dollars of this DEPRESSION, going going gone, might have made me just a little screwier (she laughs) than I already was, thus valuing my little world of keepsakes a bit more.
She laughs, she cries: Yesterday I took out the garbage on the way out to work, set my purse on the ground, coffee cup on my back bumper, threw the garbage out, grabbed my purse and got int the truck and left, how the hell I never saw the coffee cup I'll never know, I fucking drove off with it on the bumper, a daily habit of reaching for it once I was on the main street rendered, oh fuck.... I drove back immediately, it should have fallen off on my own property since I drive like a jerk, stopping every 10 seconds, but NOOOOOO, no where in sight.
Crazy as it sounds, it threw my day out of whack, and a bit of my world with it, it was Ma's Pink cup, lost now as much as Ma. Self hatred ensues, I should have left it in the cedar chest.
Now you will remember, Sunshine's always been honest as often as possible, largely due to the part of her inner child who still remains alive and thriving, so she'd be lying if she didn't own up to: Even a little thing can gain a tear & a smile
FOOTNOTE: With a smile I can tell you that the same morning I wrote this blog entry on, I left the house to go get Grandpa for Dialysis, and some two blocks down on Northwest highway I spotted the cup in the right gutter, backed up my truck (no cars coming), parked and retrieve my hit and run cup, scads of gravel inside it, definitely crushed by a tire I was very happy to be able to retrieve this particular mental pacifier, it is clean & going into the cedar chest today along with Ma & Dad's other keepsakes.
To the world the following story would not be jarring or earth shattering but it threw me off balance.
I came from humble people, and since we didn't have much, maybe we set a store by what we did have, maybe watching someone use their personal belongings over and over again, instead of going out and getting new like some folks as they tire of a dish pattern, a silverware pattern, more trendy clothes, whatever....I am just as happy with 37 year old cups, dishes, silverware only replaced here due a mindless creature our son brought home for three or four years who threw silverware out with paperplates, and took cups home by the gazooks, God's she was educated , medicated and mindless, a fine specimen of manic depressed disordered, suffice it to say when she babysat her niece and nephew she fed them pizza out of the garbage one day and thought she was a bonnie lass versus a potential dumb ass.
So, years ago I had bought tall tupperware cups, pastels with the lids, and Ma had a set as well, we used these for coffee every day of our married lives, it was one of the few things I had in the hope chest aka: my Grandma's cedar chest as we planned on getting married tupperware was apparently my material attraction. So we each had an identical set, ma's and mine.
Throughout the years mine would take more of a beating, lost pieces, whatever. When Ma passed on, I incorporated her set into mine, including her pink cup.
Now when the mindless bitch was staying here so much, I hid the pink cup cause I didn't want Ma's favorite getting abducted by her, I hid it in the cedar chest until that girl was out of our lives. I know a petty move perhaps, but I was trying to hang on to something.
The last three years as we've sold off jewelry, records, books, anything that wasn't nailed down, yet held a value to be adding to the ever-lacking mortgage dollars of this DEPRESSION, going going gone, might have made me just a little screwier (she laughs) than I already was, thus valuing my little world of keepsakes a bit more.
She laughs, she cries: Yesterday I took out the garbage on the way out to work, set my purse on the ground, coffee cup on my back bumper, threw the garbage out, grabbed my purse and got int the truck and left, how the hell I never saw the coffee cup I'll never know, I fucking drove off with it on the bumper, a daily habit of reaching for it once I was on the main street rendered, oh fuck.... I drove back immediately, it should have fallen off on my own property since I drive like a jerk, stopping every 10 seconds, but NOOOOOO, no where in sight.
Crazy as it sounds, it threw my day out of whack, and a bit of my world with it, it was Ma's Pink cup, lost now as much as Ma. Self hatred ensues, I should have left it in the cedar chest.
Now you will remember, Sunshine's always been honest as often as possible, largely due to the part of her inner child who still remains alive and thriving, so she'd be lying if she didn't own up to: Even a little thing can gain a tear & a smile
FOOTNOTE: With a smile I can tell you that the same morning I wrote this blog entry on, I left the house to go get Grandpa for Dialysis, and some two blocks down on Northwest highway I spotted the cup in the right gutter, backed up my truck (no cars coming), parked and retrieve my hit and run cup, scads of gravel inside it, definitely crushed by a tire I was very happy to be able to retrieve this particular mental pacifier, it is clean & going into the cedar chest today along with Ma & Dad's other keepsakes.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Santa & the great white hope of believing
I always believed in Santa Claus, and when my Mother told me Santa didn't really exist, and she nailed down my hopping Easter Bunny in the same conversation I was very pissed off.
So when the GREAT Housing market collapsed and you watched it all disintegrate, it's impact on the country, it's impact on our friends and families, it's impact on our household first one way jobs related, and then some other ways as the homes devalued, it became very close to the Santa syndrome all over again. What could you believe in?
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
This is not to say that we didn't encounter our fair share of people who would pull you into their own non realistic world, promising the sun and the stars, only to drop you on your face nose first of course, some well intentioned, some just strokers telling you what they thought you wanted to hear, some of this could even be amusing if you kept a very disgusting sense of humor in your armory.
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
Now going back to Santa, the small child within still has enough resiliency left, so that she still believes, Santa has another round coming up soon, she's peeking out through the door hinge crack, she wants to see if Santa comes through, or if Santa drops us on our noses. She hopes the small child within never stops believing completely. But when she's forced to be practical she still believes in:
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I keep believing in!
Sunshine
So when the GREAT Housing market collapsed and you watched it all disintegrate, it's impact on the country, it's impact on our friends and families, it's impact on our household first one way jobs related, and then some other ways as the homes devalued, it became very close to the Santa syndrome all over again. What could you believe in?
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
This is not to say that we didn't encounter our fair share of people who would pull you into their own non realistic world, promising the sun and the stars, only to drop you on your face nose first of course, some well intentioned, some just strokers telling you what they thought you wanted to hear, some of this could even be amusing if you kept a very disgusting sense of humor in your armory.
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
Now going back to Santa, the small child within still has enough resiliency left, so that she still believes, Santa has another round coming up soon, she's peeking out through the door hinge crack, she wants to see if Santa comes through, or if Santa drops us on our noses. She hopes the small child within never stops believing completely. But when she's forced to be practical she still believes in:
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I keep believing in!
Sunshine
The Broke State of Confusion, our own Illinois
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Yes, indeed, thank you. But even the most off the wall spiritual being will tune into the humor going on in her own State, a broke State, so we tender some observations on IDOT, oh the things we see in a work week driving down 53 North to Lake Cook Easts exit ramp.
Now the fun in this observing comes from 8 years of traveling the same path, a scary thought as this probably doesn't improve your odds of survival if my eldest brother was correct in telling me to vary my route based on the law of average.
But more often than not I take 53N, and what do my wandering eyes see, no not Santa's Sleigh & 8 tiny reindeer, instead I see Idot one letter short of IDIOT out at 8am on 53 (they're not supposed to be out there per their supervisor some 4 years back before 11am) shoveling asphalt into tiny cracks on entrance and exit ramps smacking it down with a shovel (1 person) & three observing him standing around bullshiting (the ramps were totally redone last year, now 5 car lengths ahead in the middle lane is a 15 inch round hole that's been gaping and leering at our tires all summer, after two weeks of these monkeys playing their rush hour game backing up traffic, you'd think they'd have spotted this pot hole and perhaps thought about patching it.
This is the same crew that brings 3-4 trucks out so that two of their occupants can pick up litter from the grassed ditches, and those trucks are running wasting a vast quantity of gas throughout the summer, so pardon the expression but my brain sees some of this play out and can only think "WTF".
Who is their planner? Who inspects these roads anymore before deciding on where the best bang for the buck is towards repairs? Don't we need an overhaul in oh so many places throughout the state so that people begin to do the right things again, and if you're short on funds this becomes even more crucial?
Now the fun in this observing comes from 8 years of traveling the same path, a scary thought as this probably doesn't improve your odds of survival if my eldest brother was correct in telling me to vary my route based on the law of average.
But more often than not I take 53N, and what do my wandering eyes see, no not Santa's Sleigh & 8 tiny reindeer, instead I see Idot one letter short of IDIOT out at 8am on 53 (they're not supposed to be out there per their supervisor some 4 years back before 11am) shoveling asphalt into tiny cracks on entrance and exit ramps smacking it down with a shovel (1 person) & three observing him standing around bullshiting (the ramps were totally redone last year, now 5 car lengths ahead in the middle lane is a 15 inch round hole that's been gaping and leering at our tires all summer, after two weeks of these monkeys playing their rush hour game backing up traffic, you'd think they'd have spotted this pot hole and perhaps thought about patching it.
This is the same crew that brings 3-4 trucks out so that two of their occupants can pick up litter from the grassed ditches, and those trucks are running wasting a vast quantity of gas throughout the summer, so pardon the expression but my brain sees some of this play out and can only think "WTF".
Who is their planner? Who inspects these roads anymore before deciding on where the best bang for the buck is towards repairs? Don't we need an overhaul in oh so many places throughout the state so that people begin to do the right things again, and if you're short on funds this becomes even more crucial?
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Cool Article on Fire Rainbows:
To name it properly, a fire rainbow is a circumhorizontal arc. It is also known as a circumhorizon arc but whichever you chose, scientists (and aficionados) call it a CHA. It is given its name because it looks as if a rainbow has spontaneously combusted as it made its way across the sky. It could even be suspected, perhaps, that some malign fairy or goblin has blown the rainbow up to stop some errant human discovering that elusive pot of gold at its end!
The real explanation behind a fire rainbow lies more in science text books than in a Brothers Grimm tale. A CHA is a kind of halo – which is an optical phenomenon. These appear around the moon – or in this case the Sun. You have probably seen a halo yourself around a strong light source – take a look at street lights in the fog for example.
A cirrus cloud is one of those thin, wispy ones, often with tufts sticking out like disheveled hair! They can be huge – covering so much of the sky that you cannot see where one ends and another begins. When they are a massive sheet they are called cirrostratus. They are formed at enormous heights – over eight thousand meters. There is very little moisture at those heights and that’s why they are so skinny!
So, why don’t we see fire rainbows as often as (its now more mundane!) cousin, the rainbow? For a start the sun has to be at least fifty eight degrees above the horizon for one to occur – and you have to be lucky enough to have cirrus clouds around at the same time! Because of the necessary height of the sun you will not see a fire rainbow north of fifty five degrees – and likewise further south of the magic fifty five degrees. You may occasionally see one if you are high up on a mountain further south or north, but it is not likely!
So, if you are lucky enough to see this phenomenon, perhaps it is a good idea to make a wish! The conditions for a fire rainbow are so exact that it means that to see one is a rare sight indeed. When nature does us this sort of favor by giving us a gift such as this, then perhaps it is only right that we make a wish when we encounter it! It may not be very scientific, but to be honest, would you care?
Don't Walk:
“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
― Albert Camus
― Albert Camus
Friday, August 17, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Morphing and our time tunnels
So much involved in being a human, again like the diamond with the multiple facets to a stone pitted against our own human natures, throw in the memory for a diamond, and well you can morph back and forth quickly from past to present and back again. Being a human is a hard task at times. Who you were once pitted against who you've become, or strands that stay as a core within the person, each new time zone adding on another dimension.
There are some who believe all the different time levels stay out there playing over and over again, even as you've spiraled your life into future decades, like some insane echo reverberating.
I can't believe that would be possible, just based on one moment of memory or real time where you stand out in the elements and there is complete silence surrounding you, those moments out in a field type environment would make you think it's all more simple and streamlined, and bare of any layers.
Yet you can't help marvel at all the layers and facets one life can contain making us all so very different.
There are some who believe all the different time levels stay out there playing over and over again, even as you've spiraled your life into future decades, like some insane echo reverberating.
I can't believe that would be possible, just based on one moment of memory or real time where you stand out in the elements and there is complete silence surrounding you, those moments out in a field type environment would make you think it's all more simple and streamlined, and bare of any layers.
Yet you can't help marvel at all the layers and facets one life can contain making us all so very different.
A Day in the Life of Sunshine
08011979 A Wednesday like any other Wednesday and then so very different, it would be the first time a control freak learned there was no control over anything.
In my heaven, one day I will get you back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aiOjPVxNqY
In my heaven, one day I will get you back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aiOjPVxNqY
Monday, July 30, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
When Reporter's stopped reporting and became the Media Frenzy
Journalism, was a skilled art, a world of Who, What, When, Where and How? Each newspaper story had to utilize those five items, and the skills a writer with the English Language brought the story to life and delivered it's meaning or impact.
Me, I remember standing dressed in my jammies (the funny ones with the feet in them, a young toddler) in front of the old black and white TV which usually had some static lines and dots running through, in Chi Town you had a choice of Channel 2, 5, 7 and possibly 11 at that time, eventually 32 and 26 or some such thing would be added. David & Chad were the news casters, Len O'Connor, Fahey Flynn but they reported the TV news still using the Who, What, When, Where and How theories from the newspaper and they were respected for the good job they did in detailing for the public what had transpired on the day.
Somewhere along the way, the curtsey people developed, I remember for fact that channel 7 was the first where they thought they had to interact with each other and bring in people humors, all dressed in the same color tunics and jackets, entertaining weather people, it all grew away from reporter facts of what had happened into a world of who looked better, smiled better, and who could deliver bad new while smiling at their audience.
Next came brief garbled half thoughts interjected whereby they converse about the news headlines instead just simply staying with the facts of a story, now they'd speculate openly about possibilities of how something shaped losing the truth, and now they began to cause chaos, they grew to be too powerful, and instead twice a day or three times a day, they were on 4 times a day as a standard, and many new interruptions into scheduled programming on a more active news day with special reports.
The news media which is very trashing in their lack of fact based details, as in reality at times, had grown capable of spreading panic about homes sales being down, like any gossip spreader milling rumors, repeated often enough they gave this sad news more oomph and power than it ever should have been given, it caused people to back off and wait, it caused prices to keep diving day after day, as they just wouldn't let it alone. The home sale cycle had existed for decades, but it was a cycle you could pretty safely say ran in a five year cycle.
Not this time, this time was a humdinger as it timed in with some very greedy evil bankers having depleted their own institutions by all of the bad paper they had processed and sold off, so much chaos caused by greed that it toppled an ailing economy.
And the field day the reporters had with this just sent out echo upon echo of doom and gloom until you could just about see the America I love smoldering in ashes, knocking out more than 30 professions with it, we grind-ed to a halt.
Most certainly the greed of the bankers brought us far in getting here, but also equally responsible the current hack styled news reporters shoveled enough dirt onto the graves.
Where's their accountability? Still pulling the same crap, if anything starts to get better they waylay it with their speculations just so they can a better TV rating. They are disgusting at it's most profane form.
Me, I remember standing dressed in my jammies (the funny ones with the feet in them, a young toddler) in front of the old black and white TV which usually had some static lines and dots running through, in Chi Town you had a choice of Channel 2, 5, 7 and possibly 11 at that time, eventually 32 and 26 or some such thing would be added. David & Chad were the news casters, Len O'Connor, Fahey Flynn but they reported the TV news still using the Who, What, When, Where and How theories from the newspaper and they were respected for the good job they did in detailing for the public what had transpired on the day.
Somewhere along the way, the curtsey people developed, I remember for fact that channel 7 was the first where they thought they had to interact with each other and bring in people humors, all dressed in the same color tunics and jackets, entertaining weather people, it all grew away from reporter facts of what had happened into a world of who looked better, smiled better, and who could deliver bad new while smiling at their audience.
Next came brief garbled half thoughts interjected whereby they converse about the news headlines instead just simply staying with the facts of a story, now they'd speculate openly about possibilities of how something shaped losing the truth, and now they began to cause chaos, they grew to be too powerful, and instead twice a day or three times a day, they were on 4 times a day as a standard, and many new interruptions into scheduled programming on a more active news day with special reports.
The news media which is very trashing in their lack of fact based details, as in reality at times, had grown capable of spreading panic about homes sales being down, like any gossip spreader milling rumors, repeated often enough they gave this sad news more oomph and power than it ever should have been given, it caused people to back off and wait, it caused prices to keep diving day after day, as they just wouldn't let it alone. The home sale cycle had existed for decades, but it was a cycle you could pretty safely say ran in a five year cycle.
Not this time, this time was a humdinger as it timed in with some very greedy evil bankers having depleted their own institutions by all of the bad paper they had processed and sold off, so much chaos caused by greed that it toppled an ailing economy.
And the field day the reporters had with this just sent out echo upon echo of doom and gloom until you could just about see the America I love smoldering in ashes, knocking out more than 30 professions with it, we grind-ed to a halt.
Most certainly the greed of the bankers brought us far in getting here, but also equally responsible the current hack styled news reporters shoveled enough dirt onto the graves.
Where's their accountability? Still pulling the same crap, if anything starts to get better they waylay it with their speculations just so they can a better TV rating. They are disgusting at it's most profane form.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Humans and Diamonds, a common thread.
I've touched base on my theory here in other posts, an event brings it to mind again:
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Half Time, July
"I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." -William Penn
I was abandoned several times in life, by one or another, or another? Small reasons for prevailing insanity, but there.
Slowly this all made me tougher, more of a fighter, or rebel as one of my old not wanted bosses pointed out to me when nicknamed me " Commando", suffice it to say he was a piss poor CEO, and didn't last there long (she smiles), the life training had always been for survival, and funny to say I see this streak in other young women I encountered who have had a jostled early start, and I am always drawn to them, we are fighters not in a negative sense, but in the survival mode we've shared.
So I reach half time with less than half of my goals accomplished, must somehow kick it in the ass to make more of a dent, the clock is ticking and cannot be trusted to be kind, it's always got one more surprise for an old gal to keep ahead of, or side track you from the cause.
So in this world were things are ever changing, and totally not reliable for a smooth sail, put your seat belts on and get ready for another round, and do it the best that you can, for you won't pass this way again.
I was abandoned several times in life, by one or another, or another? Small reasons for prevailing insanity, but there.
Slowly this all made me tougher, more of a fighter, or rebel as one of my old not wanted bosses pointed out to me when nicknamed me " Commando", suffice it to say he was a piss poor CEO, and didn't last there long (she smiles), the life training had always been for survival, and funny to say I see this streak in other young women I encountered who have had a jostled early start, and I am always drawn to them, we are fighters not in a negative sense, but in the survival mode we've shared.
So I reach half time with less than half of my goals accomplished, must somehow kick it in the ass to make more of a dent, the clock is ticking and cannot be trusted to be kind, it's always got one more surprise for an old gal to keep ahead of, or side track you from the cause.
So in this world were things are ever changing, and totally not reliable for a smooth sail, put your seat belts on and get ready for another round, and do it the best that you can, for you won't pass this way again.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Another Hero, and coming home
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Every day through your eyes and mine.
We are the ultimate good guy, good guy. We are the story of Gift and Magi, and that's why it always worked, and found it's level, we always kept giving, and even when I am stranded without you, you manage to stay with me.
Gods or no Gods, beliefs or no beliefs, something put us in eachother's paths way back in time, and I have absolutely no regrets for all the days spent with you.
And the feeling of coming home, it's just tripped with rainbows and warmth, I can't even describe the feeling, it's so intense. You are my home, I need little else.
Now put that into the matrix and watch those multiple mirrors facet out.
You are the Sunshine.
We are the ultimate good guy, good guy. We are the story of Gift and Magi, and that's why it always worked, and found it's level, we always kept giving, and even when I am stranded without you, you manage to stay with me.
Gods or no Gods, beliefs or no beliefs, something put us in eachother's paths way back in time, and I have absolutely no regrets for all the days spent with you.
And the feeling of coming home, it's just tripped with rainbows and warmth, I can't even describe the feeling, it's so intense. You are my home, I need little else.
Now put that into the matrix and watch those multiple mirrors facet out.
You are the Sunshine.
Chi Town at it's best
Mentioned before in this blog I was born in Chicago, it's a different way of thinking, and my conclusion yesterday was that I've lived in the Burbs way too long.....as Stephen King would say " I'd forgotten the face of my father", or at least the face of my Chicago Father:
We were on our way home from Grandpa's treatment, a minimum of 95 degrees, rush hour, and the truck is dead, no juice from the battery ( I stop and wonder if the valet service hadn't left a door ajar for the day in it's keeping).
I call my sister by law, the one with the funny green car who drives the streets of Chicago like a lady Viking Warrier always running some errand of mercy for a family she loves much....she might still be working but I luck out she is home, she will come to get Gramps, She's been one of my female hero's for a long stretch, her role to her family is the same one I had for many years BUT MORE SO, she is good humored and always has a fun slant.
Meanwhile, Chicago kicks in, a person parking along side of us offers help in the form a battery jump, caught me off guard (if this happened in the burbs they'd just look at you and stay clear of the situation).
Sister arrives and takes Gramps, both telling me to head straight for the highway, we make it a few more blocks, and she notices I am no longer behind her and heads back, The truck is dead just in front of a bus stop.....A Woman pulls up along side of us with a truck, and asks if she can help us, we tell her we're dead, she pulls into a lot & manipulates her truck so she is facing me, and jumps the truck again (she grew up in a family of mechanics and really knows what she's doing with those cables contrary to me who had left her "How to jump a car" emergency card at home on the kitchen table to travel lighter...or so I thought...LOL)
Then throwing this suburban woman into shock, they both proceed to stop traffic both ways so I can one shot drive into a parking lot...O'REILLEY'S AUTO PARTS LOT & INTO THE SHADE. I am in awe & I am proud of Chicagoan's and the way they think of others!
Not good enough, my Sister in law then proceeds to see if the clerk has a new battery & if he will install it as a favor, before she leaves to get Gramps home to peace and refuge. Sister calls to check on me, she's so cute at times, she'll always remain a hero, and she'll probably never know how much pride is behind this smile for her.
As I waited with the young man Abel and he fixed my vehicle I had plenty of time to ponder how the day would have played out if I was in the burbs where nobody trusts anybody.
And with a mixture of pride in Chi, and shame at myself for forgetting what a great peoples I GREW UP WITH!
Never forget where you came from!
I remain, most often Sunshine:) And home safe.
We were on our way home from Grandpa's treatment, a minimum of 95 degrees, rush hour, and the truck is dead, no juice from the battery ( I stop and wonder if the valet service hadn't left a door ajar for the day in it's keeping).
I call my sister by law, the one with the funny green car who drives the streets of Chicago like a lady Viking Warrier always running some errand of mercy for a family she loves much....she might still be working but I luck out she is home, she will come to get Gramps, She's been one of my female hero's for a long stretch, her role to her family is the same one I had for many years BUT MORE SO, she is good humored and always has a fun slant.
Meanwhile, Chicago kicks in, a person parking along side of us offers help in the form a battery jump, caught me off guard (if this happened in the burbs they'd just look at you and stay clear of the situation).
Sister arrives and takes Gramps, both telling me to head straight for the highway, we make it a few more blocks, and she notices I am no longer behind her and heads back, The truck is dead just in front of a bus stop.....A Woman pulls up along side of us with a truck, and asks if she can help us, we tell her we're dead, she pulls into a lot & manipulates her truck so she is facing me, and jumps the truck again (she grew up in a family of mechanics and really knows what she's doing with those cables contrary to me who had left her "How to jump a car" emergency card at home on the kitchen table to travel lighter...or so I thought...LOL)
Then throwing this suburban woman into shock, they both proceed to stop traffic both ways so I can one shot drive into a parking lot...O'REILLEY'S AUTO PARTS LOT & INTO THE SHADE. I am in awe & I am proud of Chicagoan's and the way they think of others!
Not good enough, my Sister in law then proceeds to see if the clerk has a new battery & if he will install it as a favor, before she leaves to get Gramps home to peace and refuge. Sister calls to check on me, she's so cute at times, she'll always remain a hero, and she'll probably never know how much pride is behind this smile for her.
As I waited with the young man Abel and he fixed my vehicle I had plenty of time to ponder how the day would have played out if I was in the burbs where nobody trusts anybody.
And with a mixture of pride in Chi, and shame at myself for forgetting what a great peoples I GREW UP WITH!
Never forget where you came from!
I remain, most often Sunshine:) And home safe.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Relinguishing Details
Life starts out with no responsibilities, your greatest task is making it from breakfast to evening bath time, many an adventure had in between that all seemed to do with dirt.
Eventually you become responsible for school, good grades or NOT, attention spans or NOT.
You escape into a part time job, and eventually into your full time career. You find parts of yourself, and others find parts of you they bring to life, a promotion, and more responsibility.
Meanwhile someone has thrust a checkbook into your hands, accounting for the dollars in that checkbook, and balancing it once a month or three months of abstract mental calculations could become an evil game.
Thank God for Quicken and computers, balancing gets better, more frequent for certain, but of course the game of mentally balancing still seems intrigue the Aquarian, who must not have had enough water in her jug to stay sane.
A child comes into the world, and is a very costly adventure, she looks at families of 8 and goes into shock that could ever be, her oldest brother is dating a girl from a family of 8, her youngest brother is married to a gal from a family of 8, and her own spouse is definitely from a family of 8, though out the years I came to many conclusions on this subject, we ourselves had decided on a family of 4, and for our reasons lets call that good. And I had come from a family of 5, one of my lucky numbers as it was.
So a marriage, a checkbook, a child, some taxes, taxes on those taxes, years of diapers and baby food, baby doctor, before the real bills, furniture, beds, more beds, a house, all the insurances, working, layoffs, tuitions, autos, trucks, more trucks, frckning endless, start a business, accountants, quarterlies, all the crap, write offs, business expenses.
It was more than a checkbook that got thrust into my hands. Laughing, I think it was a sentence, similar to jail.
Now one of them wants to manage some of his own details, and he could and should, but you have to stay tuned in, and that has not been a main ingredient, he still has a butterfly approach to dabbling here and there, but not remembering when to return for the next round.
So we will slowly go forward into thrusting that checkbook into a younger pair of hands.
The joke is I will have to get him acquainted with Quicken, he is after all another Aquarian.
Eventually you become responsible for school, good grades or NOT, attention spans or NOT.
You escape into a part time job, and eventually into your full time career. You find parts of yourself, and others find parts of you they bring to life, a promotion, and more responsibility.
Meanwhile someone has thrust a checkbook into your hands, accounting for the dollars in that checkbook, and balancing it once a month or three months of abstract mental calculations could become an evil game.
Thank God for Quicken and computers, balancing gets better, more frequent for certain, but of course the game of mentally balancing still seems intrigue the Aquarian, who must not have had enough water in her jug to stay sane.
A child comes into the world, and is a very costly adventure, she looks at families of 8 and goes into shock that could ever be, her oldest brother is dating a girl from a family of 8, her youngest brother is married to a gal from a family of 8, and her own spouse is definitely from a family of 8, though out the years I came to many conclusions on this subject, we ourselves had decided on a family of 4, and for our reasons lets call that good. And I had come from a family of 5, one of my lucky numbers as it was.
So a marriage, a checkbook, a child, some taxes, taxes on those taxes, years of diapers and baby food, baby doctor, before the real bills, furniture, beds, more beds, a house, all the insurances, working, layoffs, tuitions, autos, trucks, more trucks, frckning endless, start a business, accountants, quarterlies, all the crap, write offs, business expenses.
It was more than a checkbook that got thrust into my hands. Laughing, I think it was a sentence, similar to jail.
Now one of them wants to manage some of his own details, and he could and should, but you have to stay tuned in, and that has not been a main ingredient, he still has a butterfly approach to dabbling here and there, but not remembering when to return for the next round.
So we will slowly go forward into thrusting that checkbook into a younger pair of hands.
The joke is I will have to get him acquainted with Quicken, he is after all another Aquarian.
1 particular sunrise
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" One of the best was seen with you at Foster Beach, we were younger and crazier, think we'd been out to a wedding and the reception, and we got a brain storm to go to the beach and watch the sunrise, shortly after we got there you spotted some type of over heating problem with old 55 Buick, and tried to soothe Old Bessie. We didn't really get to see the sun rise, instead I got to watch you work on the trunk in front of the sunrise:) Loved you, loved the car, loved the sunrise.
The sun has risen a good 13, 350 times since then, but I still love many parts of each day <3 <3
The sun has risen a good 13, 350 times since then, but I still love many parts of each day <3 <3
A Refreshing Blog I've been following:
Have a look at a blog I've been following via face book, it's diverse and very interesting:
http://homesteadsurvival.blogspot.com/
http://homesteadsurvival.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 24, 2012
In Search of Unconditional Love, or simplicity of:
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Make each day count then, and see one soon.
I see so many writings on people In Search of Unconditional Love, and you can all be right, yet all be wrong given the relationship and perspective of each relationship. I do believe many people get hung up on the simplicity of this when they feel guilt over a negative thought popping into their heads, I'll use the example of the love a parent feels for a child they reared for light years, it's a remarkable relationship in which you first show them the world around them, beauties and dangers, the next stage of the world they have some free times away from you while exploring their world in more detail yet when they see great beauties or great dangers they usually come back home with tales to converse on. Eventually they will see their world as more expanded than your own, and see more freedoms in their life than you have in yours all true at this arrived in point of time, as you've anchored yourself to a home to support their growth and life. There is great love in this relationship, it's as unconditional a love as you could obtain.
Now, as you both live out your decided rolls you'll come upon a stumbling block whereby the youngster needs to correct or stop doing what one could hope is a temporary experiment, or sometimes simply expand their mind to include understanding the law of physics, and that each action will cause a re-action of it's own much like pebbles cast into a pond. It is a hard learning curve they must explore their way through, and as they do this their parent might not always agreed with their stubborn approach, or some choices they make.
This does not mean you don't love them unconditional, it only means you're hoping and praying they find their path with the least amount of harm crossing it. Unconditional to me means that the love stays there and endures whatever time can throw at it. It doesn't mean you can't view different aspects as they play out, and not have hopes for where it might be bettered or smoothed.
Throughout the years I've seen so much with families and my friends families play out, and if there was a character or two who had a disagreement, people would take sides or get angered themselves, and much like the pebble it would keep spiraling outward causing more damage as it rippled. Sometimes it would seem people just couldn't stop to remember the love for one another was still there.
I'll use my friend from Real Estate as an example, a sad story of her being a single mom by choice, her mom the nanny of her two year old son during her work days, but her mom drank to excess and one day my friend walked into find the gas jets ajar, her mom passed out, and the youngster napping through the house almost blowing up.
My friend made other arrangements and told her mom she couldn't see the youngster anymore until she straightened out her act. The Mom hired an attorney and sued her own daughter for rights to see the child, this triggered anger in my then young friend and so they went at it for two years, and finally had a court imposed resolution to the problem of familial visits with always at least one more family member present to safeguard the growing youngster.
During this time the mom was hospitalized for what was thought to be pneumonia, her lungs kept filling up with liquid no matter what they did, further tests found lung cancer, advanced, although she came close she never was released from that hospital stay.
My friend went to see her, brought her flowers, all three of her brothers were there. The mother thanked her for the flowers,listened when the daughter told her she loved her, responded with I know I love you too and then told her to get out, and not to visit her again( not heresay I was there). The mom died while in the hospital, and the brothers except one kept their sister held at bay over the mother's prior dispute for about 5 more years.
They are now close again, the siblings,but it took years to make all of the repairs to each inner relationship. It seems time can heal many things if the people involved want to carry on past a time warp of troubles. That usually with time you can see objectively enough to know it was a sequence, a chapter, learn from it and move on. And it took a heap of love to make that family heal, so what's not unconditional about loving.
My own conclusion which is so simple it's childlike, is that the only time love is NOT unconditional, is when it turns to hate.
I see so many writings on people In Search of Unconditional Love, and you can all be right, yet all be wrong given the relationship and perspective of each relationship. I do believe many people get hung up on the simplicity of this when they feel guilt over a negative thought popping into their heads, I'll use the example of the love a parent feels for a child they reared for light years, it's a remarkable relationship in which you first show them the world around them, beauties and dangers, the next stage of the world they have some free times away from you while exploring their world in more detail yet when they see great beauties or great dangers they usually come back home with tales to converse on. Eventually they will see their world as more expanded than your own, and see more freedoms in their life than you have in yours all true at this arrived in point of time, as you've anchored yourself to a home to support their growth and life. There is great love in this relationship, it's as unconditional a love as you could obtain.
Now, as you both live out your decided rolls you'll come upon a stumbling block whereby the youngster needs to correct or stop doing what one could hope is a temporary experiment, or sometimes simply expand their mind to include understanding the law of physics, and that each action will cause a re-action of it's own much like pebbles cast into a pond. It is a hard learning curve they must explore their way through, and as they do this their parent might not always agreed with their stubborn approach, or some choices they make.
This does not mean you don't love them unconditional, it only means you're hoping and praying they find their path with the least amount of harm crossing it. Unconditional to me means that the love stays there and endures whatever time can throw at it. It doesn't mean you can't view different aspects as they play out, and not have hopes for where it might be bettered or smoothed.
Throughout the years I've seen so much with families and my friends families play out, and if there was a character or two who had a disagreement, people would take sides or get angered themselves, and much like the pebble it would keep spiraling outward causing more damage as it rippled. Sometimes it would seem people just couldn't stop to remember the love for one another was still there.
I'll use my friend from Real Estate as an example, a sad story of her being a single mom by choice, her mom the nanny of her two year old son during her work days, but her mom drank to excess and one day my friend walked into find the gas jets ajar, her mom passed out, and the youngster napping through the house almost blowing up.
My friend made other arrangements and told her mom she couldn't see the youngster anymore until she straightened out her act. The Mom hired an attorney and sued her own daughter for rights to see the child, this triggered anger in my then young friend and so they went at it for two years, and finally had a court imposed resolution to the problem of familial visits with always at least one more family member present to safeguard the growing youngster.
During this time the mom was hospitalized for what was thought to be pneumonia, her lungs kept filling up with liquid no matter what they did, further tests found lung cancer, advanced, although she came close she never was released from that hospital stay.
My friend went to see her, brought her flowers, all three of her brothers were there. The mother thanked her for the flowers,listened when the daughter told her she loved her, responded with I know I love you too and then told her to get out, and not to visit her again( not heresay I was there). The mom died while in the hospital, and the brothers except one kept their sister held at bay over the mother's prior dispute for about 5 more years.
They are now close again, the siblings,but it took years to make all of the repairs to each inner relationship. It seems time can heal many things if the people involved want to carry on past a time warp of troubles. That usually with time you can see objectively enough to know it was a sequence, a chapter, learn from it and move on. And it took a heap of love to make that family heal, so what's not unconditional about loving.
My own conclusion which is so simple it's childlike, is that the only time love is NOT unconditional, is when it turns to hate.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
R & K meet the Focker's
Let's face it we keep trying to swim, or float. On a rare occasion we see ourselves clear to a time slot where we can be ourselves, and the kids come up with something that casts a difference spin on the day.
We have an invite to meet the Focker's. As soon as one kid is gone I grill the other.
Do they have An Aunt Katie (Our porch preacher)?
Do they have an Uncle Rob? (Who always wants to show the kids something novel, a less walked path)
Do they have an Uncle George? (Our Brother In Law that dressed up as Santa for the kids and they bought it)
So far my son thinks they're pretty average and sane.
Then he starts recalling different things from other meetings and days.
He's got me smiling there may be hope she laughs, all families has a character somewhere you just need the right settings and some fine timing to bring it out.
Will it be the Focker's precisely, nah, I doubt it, but it should be fun....everywhere is fun if I'm with my spouse:)
No, we meet a nice family with a lot of diverse friends who make their home open to family, friends, their children's friends, family dogs, friends dogs & all were welcomed to share a day in their two graduating daughter's lives.
We have an invite to meet the Focker's. As soon as one kid is gone I grill the other.
Do they have An Aunt Katie (Our porch preacher)?
Do they have an Uncle Rob? (Who always wants to show the kids something novel, a less walked path)
Do they have an Uncle George? (Our Brother In Law that dressed up as Santa for the kids and they bought it)
So far my son thinks they're pretty average and sane.
Then he starts recalling different things from other meetings and days.
He's got me smiling there may be hope she laughs, all families has a character somewhere you just need the right settings and some fine timing to bring it out.
Will it be the Focker's precisely, nah, I doubt it, but it should be fun....everywhere is fun if I'm with my spouse:)
No, we meet a nice family with a lot of diverse friends who make their home open to family, friends, their children's friends, family dogs, friends dogs & all were welcomed to share a day in their two graduating daughter's lives.
Wisdom, and the bottom line.
Age brings some wisdom with it. Different events play out and somewhere along the road what you give and merit changes.
The time growing as a child, hours of observations spent in those years, hours of chaos.
The pains of being a teen, surrounded by eccentric peers, watching it all play out, choosing a path.
The fierceness of young love, and all the plans and dreams that come with it, your first lesson in Murphy's Law.
The adventures of finding out who you will be in your work lives, and all the emerging that comes with it.
Rearing a family, cake walks, trials, tribulations, midway through the roller coaster ride you look down to see if you're belt is still hooked in.
The fierce love turns into camaraderie, partners in crime to the good times and the calamity that reigns in a household.
Troubles brew as family members and conflicts bring chaos, and torn opinions aplenty.
Damages take their toll. The abyss appears, plenty of darkness down there.
You take a hit, and start losing family, you meander through, and take another hit. You are orphaned.
You take enough time and thought so you start to find yourselves, maybe, you've all changed so much.
You find what was important becomes a side thought, the main importance are the remaining breathers.
Another one goes down, and it leaves us all raw, love that floated an entire segment turns to into not enough. By now you are middle aged or old in the youngsters eyes, you laugh off what you can, shake your head, and tend to what you can...what you have left and you probably don't do a good job at it, faltering in your goals or targets.
Your days at work give time for getting your sea legs back under you, a good routine helps to pass the time, draw your interest back into the world that passes us by too quickly.
You might settle back down to everything just being "enough".
You might go through economic shifts as part of your travels, you might begin to know full value you are back where you started, this too can rock you, it's not just your dreams that float out the window, it effects you all.
And on occasion you will be held accountable by someone, accountable for their altered picture, some speaking their words, or maybe not, but all the same thinking you could have done it better, could have made better choices.
And some would live their lives with that word "accountable" sitting on their back like one of those old style trunks used for treasure and just about as heavy a burden, "How many I told you, you should have done...." have I heard?
Well princess.....it's been a long life, a longer road than you can imagine, there were plenty of chaotic little items to try and sort and make into the best thing possible, don't go letting something trigger you into not knowing what is important, seeing that look as the trigger hits, and me I hardly believe it myself sometimes, but it was what it was one step at a time for all of those volumes of years, was I selfish, no. Do I look selfish, maybe but here put these shoes on, walk around awhile, see how long you can walk on water without going under?
So these days these eyes look out, still see the bottom line, and know it's all still worthwhile, at least for me it is.
But I am becoming tired.
The time growing as a child, hours of observations spent in those years, hours of chaos.
The pains of being a teen, surrounded by eccentric peers, watching it all play out, choosing a path.
The fierceness of young love, and all the plans and dreams that come with it, your first lesson in Murphy's Law.
The adventures of finding out who you will be in your work lives, and all the emerging that comes with it.
Rearing a family, cake walks, trials, tribulations, midway through the roller coaster ride you look down to see if you're belt is still hooked in.
The fierce love turns into camaraderie, partners in crime to the good times and the calamity that reigns in a household.
Troubles brew as family members and conflicts bring chaos, and torn opinions aplenty.
Damages take their toll. The abyss appears, plenty of darkness down there.
You take a hit, and start losing family, you meander through, and take another hit. You are orphaned.
You take enough time and thought so you start to find yourselves, maybe, you've all changed so much.
You find what was important becomes a side thought, the main importance are the remaining breathers.
Another one goes down, and it leaves us all raw, love that floated an entire segment turns to into not enough. By now you are middle aged or old in the youngsters eyes, you laugh off what you can, shake your head, and tend to what you can...what you have left and you probably don't do a good job at it, faltering in your goals or targets.
Your days at work give time for getting your sea legs back under you, a good routine helps to pass the time, draw your interest back into the world that passes us by too quickly.
You might settle back down to everything just being "enough".
You might go through economic shifts as part of your travels, you might begin to know full value you are back where you started, this too can rock you, it's not just your dreams that float out the window, it effects you all.
And on occasion you will be held accountable by someone, accountable for their altered picture, some speaking their words, or maybe not, but all the same thinking you could have done it better, could have made better choices.
And some would live their lives with that word "accountable" sitting on their back like one of those old style trunks used for treasure and just about as heavy a burden, "How many I told you, you should have done...." have I heard?
Well princess.....it's been a long life, a longer road than you can imagine, there were plenty of chaotic little items to try and sort and make into the best thing possible, don't go letting something trigger you into not knowing what is important, seeing that look as the trigger hits, and me I hardly believe it myself sometimes, but it was what it was one step at a time for all of those volumes of years, was I selfish, no. Do I look selfish, maybe but here put these shoes on, walk around awhile, see how long you can walk on water without going under?
So these days these eyes look out, still see the bottom line, and know it's all still worthwhile, at least for me it is.
But I am becoming tired.
Leaving a trail
"Don't go where the path leads; Go where there is no path and leave a trail" -Anonymous
Our adventures have taking us to every situation imaginable, don't get me wrong we have not been European Travelers, nor seen everything we might have seen in this country often called the U.S.A.
We've traveled mostly to family, sometimes to see friends, most of our family is where our friendships ended up oddly enough, many enjoyable characters along the way, and there are some that you'll never understand, as they don't "choose" to communicate except in an occasional action almost like a manic movement, this described some of our earlier friends, one in particular who only surfaced when he'd need a future favor. And so we opted for family. The more roads we traveled the more clear it became.
I look back over all the days we've shared in laughter and warmth, love being the main motivation of actions, and I am happy we've had this warmth to our life, it made all of the stages of life more doable. It's what kept the cup filling up.
Now we come to a more quiet doorway, things slow down, if I peek inside I would see we are all growing more tired, we start to skip some very important steps, some don't see yet that this very important human warmth is what leads you through the darkness, it is capable of so much. It's the shine in the sunlight. Love. A simple four letter word, under used, and over used, but quite a powerful healer, tool, and warmth maker.
Our adventures have taking us to every situation imaginable, don't get me wrong we have not been European Travelers, nor seen everything we might have seen in this country often called the U.S.A.
We've traveled mostly to family, sometimes to see friends, most of our family is where our friendships ended up oddly enough, many enjoyable characters along the way, and there are some that you'll never understand, as they don't "choose" to communicate except in an occasional action almost like a manic movement, this described some of our earlier friends, one in particular who only surfaced when he'd need a future favor. And so we opted for family. The more roads we traveled the more clear it became.
I look back over all the days we've shared in laughter and warmth, love being the main motivation of actions, and I am happy we've had this warmth to our life, it made all of the stages of life more doable. It's what kept the cup filling up.
Now we come to a more quiet doorway, things slow down, if I peek inside I would see we are all growing more tired, we start to skip some very important steps, some don't see yet that this very important human warmth is what leads you through the darkness, it is capable of so much. It's the shine in the sunlight. Love. A simple four letter word, under used, and over used, but quite a powerful healer, tool, and warmth maker.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Merits versus the Good Boys Club
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Today, it's an orange glow type, filled with warmth of color, thank whom ever the creator was for color, thanks to Ma & Dad for eyes to see it with, and a mind filled with appreciation of all the ups that more than balance the downs.
When I was hired at my prior company it was simply to do one function return authorizations, it turned into so many multiple functions within six months, if I hadn't lived through it previously I would have escaped, but sometime a person thrives on a chaotic work environment, and chaos could have been their logo.
They had attempted and failed at getting one customer up and running via EDI (Electronic Data Interchange) it was 1998, and they'd been at this for 6 months with one of my friends who had actually landed me my interview there, hired for the RGA's and some inside sales, they thrust this new problem at me and said they'd decided I should try a whack at it, so I sat down to read and be shown where they'd gotten to so far.
What a journey, first I got Ace Hardware up and running, then the Do It Best Stores, piloting this EDI = receiving orders electronically, sending advance shipping notices, and shipping acknowledgements when the product had left our facilities, and invoicing them on this system simply to appease the customer, we had our own antique invoicing system in place internally that tied into all of our other accounting aspects and books, so always running dual systems a company decision that created twice as much work and manpower needed always doing everything twice, the sales side handle the EDI, the Accounting side handle the internal world that would get all of their profit and loss reports compiled eventually.
I also became more responsible for making sure customers with a priority of rank in dollar amount shipped sooner and complete, whereby others went as partial shipments and to juggle the chaos that might come out of product availability.
I became involved in shipping more due to Home Depot Stores and massive quantities of bills of lading that needed to be written with each new batch of EDI orders received, these bills of lading needed to be manually written as no computer program purchased by the company to date could comply with it, so eventually I ate, slept, and whatever....my company.
Massive Excel reports were needed on all of these shipments I did them from home at 4am in the morning, and emailed them back to any parties wanting to review them.
The machines came in from Italy in large vessel quantities, as did our pumps which were used on generators built by different companies, I took over the reports for Italy as well, and controlled conference calls there weekly to establish what was shipping, what wasn't due to parts missing or lack of production capacities, and so the job just grew and grew, to the point of running out back bills of lading in hand, and helping with the paperwork as pallet by pallet of materials were loaded.
After 5 years they brought in a new CEO, and he brought in one of his ex-laid off co-workers surprise style to become my new manager, he brought in another man to analyze all segments of the company...a problem solver also from his old laid off company, "a good boys club" is how Sunshine would peg it.
I was laid off 2 months later " the company had chosen to go in a different direction". Previous to that I had reported to ONLY The President of the corporation.
And so I see other companies play their good boys club, the favor some and it is usually someone who doesn't try to do a good job, it is usually a yes man that gets favored over a hard working ethical man, which has always amazed me, it can be the rehiring of old buddies, the guys that always said "yes" to protect their own butts, but it usually won't be the straight shooter, the ethical one who always does a good job, who always anticipate and corrects the situations, for some reason those truly qualified and caring people will be replaced by the "Good Boys Club".
When I was hired at my prior company it was simply to do one function return authorizations, it turned into so many multiple functions within six months, if I hadn't lived through it previously I would have escaped, but sometime a person thrives on a chaotic work environment, and chaos could have been their logo.
They had attempted and failed at getting one customer up and running via EDI (Electronic Data Interchange) it was 1998, and they'd been at this for 6 months with one of my friends who had actually landed me my interview there, hired for the RGA's and some inside sales, they thrust this new problem at me and said they'd decided I should try a whack at it, so I sat down to read and be shown where they'd gotten to so far.
What a journey, first I got Ace Hardware up and running, then the Do It Best Stores, piloting this EDI = receiving orders electronically, sending advance shipping notices, and shipping acknowledgements when the product had left our facilities, and invoicing them on this system simply to appease the customer, we had our own antique invoicing system in place internally that tied into all of our other accounting aspects and books, so always running dual systems a company decision that created twice as much work and manpower needed always doing everything twice, the sales side handle the EDI, the Accounting side handle the internal world that would get all of their profit and loss reports compiled eventually.
I also became more responsible for making sure customers with a priority of rank in dollar amount shipped sooner and complete, whereby others went as partial shipments and to juggle the chaos that might come out of product availability.
I became involved in shipping more due to Home Depot Stores and massive quantities of bills of lading that needed to be written with each new batch of EDI orders received, these bills of lading needed to be manually written as no computer program purchased by the company to date could comply with it, so eventually I ate, slept, and whatever....my company.
Massive Excel reports were needed on all of these shipments I did them from home at 4am in the morning, and emailed them back to any parties wanting to review them.
The machines came in from Italy in large vessel quantities, as did our pumps which were used on generators built by different companies, I took over the reports for Italy as well, and controlled conference calls there weekly to establish what was shipping, what wasn't due to parts missing or lack of production capacities, and so the job just grew and grew, to the point of running out back bills of lading in hand, and helping with the paperwork as pallet by pallet of materials were loaded.
After 5 years they brought in a new CEO, and he brought in one of his ex-laid off co-workers surprise style to become my new manager, he brought in another man to analyze all segments of the company...a problem solver also from his old laid off company, "a good boys club" is how Sunshine would peg it.
I was laid off 2 months later " the company had chosen to go in a different direction". Previous to that I had reported to ONLY The President of the corporation.
And so I see other companies play their good boys club, the favor some and it is usually someone who doesn't try to do a good job, it is usually a yes man that gets favored over a hard working ethical man, which has always amazed me, it can be the rehiring of old buddies, the guys that always said "yes" to protect their own butts, but it usually won't be the straight shooter, the ethical one who always does a good job, who always anticipate and corrects the situations, for some reason those truly qualified and caring people will be replaced by the "Good Boys Club".
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Batteries
The big picture? A positive and a negative.
You mean like a battery? You need both in a battery?
In People? Do you need both in people?
Sometimes it can keep it balanced. Do you need it all the time in people?
Well, one can be outgoing, and one not.
One can be affectionate and one not.
One can more talkative and one not.
One can be more organized and one not.
One can be more realistic and one not.
One can be more abstract and one more focused.
Yep, but does it work?
It can work most of the time, just like batteries.
Like batteries? Well yep, until one of them starts running down
and needs to be re-charged.
Well what do you do when that happens?
Then one of them has to go onto the charger until they're stronger again, and then
they're ready for another round.
You mean like a battery? You need both in a battery?
In People? Do you need both in people?
Sometimes it can keep it balanced. Do you need it all the time in people?
Well, one can be outgoing, and one not.
One can be affectionate and one not.
One can more talkative and one not.
One can be more organized and one not.
One can be more realistic and one not.
One can be more abstract and one more focused.
Yep, but does it work?
It can work most of the time, just like batteries.
Like batteries? Well yep, until one of them starts running down
and needs to be re-charged.
Well what do you do when that happens?
Then one of them has to go onto the charger until they're stronger again, and then
they're ready for another round.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Some Valuable Lessons for me yesterday
Going home to Chicago is almost always a good move for me, I am in a city I've loved long, sometimes traveling through old neighborhoods I saw with my family as I grew up in that city, it's a place that's got part of my soul echoing like a ghost of yesteryear, sometimes she feeds me a dose of exactly what I need. Yesterday I spent time with Grandpa which always opens my mind and gets the addled brain expanded, then I had a few hours to either read which I thought I'd be doing or: flipping channels in a waiting that held only me at that point gained me some further growth.
I spent the next several hours yesterday watching the stories a man has worked years to put together, on occasion in this busy somethings can penetrate in our hearts or souls, you use your terms and I'll use mine, but this unknown to me man made a dent that I'll probably be able to carry some of his words and thoughts conveyed into my future levels of being on planet earth (she's smiling and you know it).
The mans name is Dr. Wayne Dyer, they were doing a special called "Wishes Fullfilled" , and he had a guest on named Anita Moyria (think the spellings good), She'd written a book after having been 89 lbs and almost dead from cancer, already at the final coma state, family gathered around her, she had an unusal dream and got well, the book is called "Dying to be Me".
Both of these people had wonderful stories, and both of them choose to live their lives on a better plateau than most of us can achieve daily, but I am going to give it a very good try as I believe in many of their thoughts presented.
I spent the next several hours yesterday watching the stories a man has worked years to put together, on occasion in this busy somethings can penetrate in our hearts or souls, you use your terms and I'll use mine, but this unknown to me man made a dent that I'll probably be able to carry some of his words and thoughts conveyed into my future levels of being on planet earth (she's smiling and you know it).
The mans name is Dr. Wayne Dyer, they were doing a special called "Wishes Fullfilled" , and he had a guest on named Anita Moyria (think the spellings good), She'd written a book after having been 89 lbs and almost dead from cancer, already at the final coma state, family gathered around her, she had an unusal dream and got well, the book is called "Dying to be Me".
Both of these people had wonderful stories, and both of them choose to live their lives on a better plateau than most of us can achieve daily, but I am going to give it a very good try as I believe in many of their thoughts presented.
Some holistic light on Calcifications
Apple Cider Vinegar is said to be able to assist in breaking down Calcifications
And it is said that if you ever go for a needle biopsy, which many people end up doing at one time or another, you should prep your body by taking oil of Oregano/Oregamax, and the site that they're doing the pricking of should be treated with Grapefruit see extract so that you have antibiotic going into the blood stream as those tines pluck away at their candidate.
Other than that tell everyone you encounter that stops to ask you how you are: "I AM WELL"
And it is said that if you ever go for a needle biopsy, which many people end up doing at one time or another, you should prep your body by taking oil of Oregano/Oregamax, and the site that they're doing the pricking of should be treated with Grapefruit see extract so that you have antibiotic going into the blood stream as those tines pluck away at their candidate.
Other than that tell everyone you encounter that stops to ask you how you are: "I AM WELL"
Micro versus Macro & Calicifications
Sidenote: 6/13/2012 So I lucked out, and will need to be monitored 6 months by 6 months to watch for changes or corruptions of the shaping. I did while in there ask about calcifications having thought it might truly be calcium sent to a wrong part of the body, and she answered no it's not calcium at all, it's a damage or change they see in the tissue, nothing to do with calcium = why the hell would a medical profession describe something using a word that IT IS NOT***?
Originally posted 6/3/2012: And so maybe you hadn't gotten in for a timely test, maybe your income had dropped, maybe you felt going would throw more money out of the window at time when it was scarce, whatever, you finally go and do it, and what do you get for being mannerly and agreeable?
You get a phone call at work (a phone number you told them to call last) telling you that you need to come back and have another run at it, "They didn't like your pretty pictures", "We can fit you into today", your brain is out somewhere in a void you seldom fall into, to some it might be called speechless, or mild shock, you schedule it out a week so you can think and research, and think some more.
It could be something, it could be nothing, maternally it's 50/50, sounds like it all depends upon internal shapings,
any fragrance could have thrown it off, we didn't know that we only knew certain things could, no correlations made of sent versus Aluminum Chloride.
Now all of this is not new to me, I went through an adventure a few years back with my sister in life, and before that with my own Mom, all with different outcomes for the ladies, but at times I can be forgetful so many details in the old noggin that some seep out & back up into the atmosphere from whence they came.
Medical science tells us that we get the check up, the results suspicious pulls you back into their loop, we do what they say and go for surgerical biopsies (insane...not this girl), core biopsies (much saner), and pend the results.
So here are some of the questions and first article:
Originally posted 6/3/2012: And so maybe you hadn't gotten in for a timely test, maybe your income had dropped, maybe you felt going would throw more money out of the window at time when it was scarce, whatever, you finally go and do it, and what do you get for being mannerly and agreeable?
You get a phone call at work (a phone number you told them to call last) telling you that you need to come back and have another run at it, "They didn't like your pretty pictures", "We can fit you into today", your brain is out somewhere in a void you seldom fall into, to some it might be called speechless, or mild shock, you schedule it out a week so you can think and research, and think some more.
It could be something, it could be nothing, maternally it's 50/50, sounds like it all depends upon internal shapings,
any fragrance could have thrown it off, we didn't know that we only knew certain things could, no correlations made of sent versus Aluminum Chloride.
Now all of this is not new to me, I went through an adventure a few years back with my sister in life, and before that with my own Mom, all with different outcomes for the ladies, but at times I can be forgetful so many details in the old noggin that some seep out & back up into the atmosphere from whence they came.
Medical science tells us that we get the check up, the results suspicious pulls you back into their loop, we do what they say and go for surgerical biopsies (insane...not this girl), core biopsies (much saner), and pend the results.
So here are some of the questions and first article:
Q
|
What Causes Breast Calcifications?
I am having a
needle biopsy for the third time in five years for breast calcifications. I
am puzzled as to why I keep getting these when I have very healthy eating
habits, do not smoke, exercise daily, and have no family history of breast
problems. What can I do to avoid the breast calcifications? This is very
frustrating. |
A
|
Answer (Published 10/15/2009)
|
I can
give you some general information about breast calcifications, but I don't
have enough information to comment on your individual case. I can reassure
you, however, that nothing you are doing - your eating and exercise habits or
your family history - has anything to do with the problem. Nor is there any
evidence that dietary calcium or post-menopausal hormone replacement therapy
plays a role in breast calcifications.
The
calcifications are tiny deposits of calcium within breast tissue that are
visible on mammograms. They're a very common finding, tend to become more
common as women get older, and are described as two basic types.
Macrocalcifications, which look like large white dots on a mammogram, are
probably due to aging of the breast arteries, old injuries, or inflammation.
Since they're associated with noncancerous conditions, they don't require
additional testing such as a biopsy. The other type, microcalcifications,
show up as tiny white dots. Most of these are also benign, but their size,
shape, and pattern may indicate tumor growth, and require further testing (a
follow-up mammogram or a biopsy) to rule out cancer. Even when
microcalcifications are deemed "suspicious," most turn out to be
benign.
Here
are some of the many causes of benign breast calcifications:
I'm
afraid there is nothing you can do to prevent future calcifications, however,
if a biopsy is recommended again, you might seek a second opinion.
Another Article:
Photo Credit breast
cancer ribbon image by robert mobley from Fotolia.com
Breast
calcifications, small calcium deposits within the breast tissue, occur commonly
in women, especially after menopause. Calcifications, seen as white spots on a
mammogram, are classified as macrocalcifications or microcalcifications. The
larger of the two, macrocalcifications, rarely indicate cancer.
Microcalcifications, while usually benign, or non-cancerous, may need further
testing to rule out cancer. Benign calcifications don’t become cancerous later;
malignant calcifications start out as cancers. Calcifications have many causes.
There is no link between taking extra calcium and calcification, California
Pacific Medical Center states.
Aging
Macrocalcifications,
which are always benign and do not require biopsy, often develop as women age,
occurring in around 50 percent of women over age 50 and in 10 percent of women
under age 50, the American Cancer Society states.
Hoag 3-D Mammography A moment of clarity can change your
life. Learn more. www.Hoag.org
Previous Injury or Inflammation
Previous injury or
infection in the breast can cause calcifications. Mastitis, an infection of the
breast tissue, and radiation therapy to the breast for cancer can cause
calcifications.
Cysts and Lumps
Lumps and cysts in
the breast can contain calcifications. Cysts, round or oval fluid-filled soft
sacs that commonly occur in women in their 30s and 40s, and fibroadenoma, a
benign solid tumor, may develop calcifications. Calcifications may also be
found in dilated milk ducts below the nipple, called mammary duct ectasia.
Blood Vessel Calcification
Calcification that
occurs in the blood vessels in the breast, called benign arterial
calcifications, don’t become cancerous. Calcifications of this type occur more
frequently in older women with diabetes and high lipid levels, Catherine
Chinyama states in her 2004 book “Benign Breast Diseases:
Radiology-Pathology-Risk Assessment.”
Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/162022-what-are-the-causes-of-breast-calcifications/#ixzz1wSj6tJtz
And a third article:
Role of the radiologistRadiologists who interpret mammograms encounter calcifications on a daily basis (see the images below). Most of the breast calcifications encountered by radiologists are benign. Radiologists must be able to identify typically benign breast calcifications that do not require biopsy to prevent unnecessary procedures and to reduce patient anxiety.[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] Multiple skin
calcifications (arrows).  Benign breast
calcification. Distribution of breast calcificationsBreast calcifications are described in terms of type and distribution and categorized according to the Breast Imaging Reporting and Data System (BI-RADS) of the American College of Radiology (ACR).[9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14]Distribution modifiers (grouped or clustered, linear, segmental, regional, diffuse) are used to describe the arrangement of the calcifications. Historically, the terms grouped or clustered were used to describe suspicious calcification. Now, these terms are neutral and may be used to describe benign or malignant processes. Grouped or clustered should be used to describe calcifications that occupy a small volume (< 2 µL) of tissue.[15] Calcifications that are linearly distributed are arranged in a line and may have branch points. Segmentally distributed calcifications suggest deposition of calcification in a duct and its branches. This type of calcification may be secondary to benign or malignant processes. Regionally distributed calcifications are most likely due to benign processes. These calcifications are scattered in a large volume of the breast and do not necessarily conform to a ductal distribution. Diffusely distributed calcifications are scattered randomly throughout the breast. ACR BI-RADS lexicon for mammographic findingsThe ACR BI-RADS lexicon enables radiologists to use similar terminology to describe mammography findings. This lexicon facilitates data tracking and provides clear management and follow-up recommendations to referring physicians, allied healthcare providers, and patients.There are 7 ACR BI-RADS standardized categories[10, 11] :
Preferred examinationHigh-quality mammography is the best diagnostic tool for the identification of breast calcifications. Accredited, dedicated mammographic equipment should be used to obtain high-quality images. Mammography technologists must be well trained and skilled in the proper positioning and compression of the breast.[16, 17, 18, 19, 20]Mammograms should always be interpreted on dedicated high-luminance mammographic view boxes or viewers, and a magnifying glass should be used routinely. Extraneous light and glare should be eliminated for optimal viewing conditions. Mammograms should be arranged in the same manner at each interpretation session to minimize left-right confusion. Routine mammograms should include craniocaudal (CC) and mediolateral oblique (MLO) views. That is, the 2 mammographic views usually obtained first for screening or diagnostic evaluations are the MLO view and the CC view. Magnification images of calcifications should be obtained in the CC and mediolateral (ML) or lateromedial (LM) views, also known as true lateral views. Tangential views are useful for verification of the intradermal location of calcifications. Comparing current mammograms with prior mammograms is essential to determine the stability of any calcifications detected. Finally, on the basis of the interpretation, the radiologist can make an informed decision about whether the calcifications identified are benign and do not require biopsy or whether the appearance of the calcifications warrants biopsy. Limitations of techniquesMammography is limited in evaluating benign calcifications when benign calcifications morphologically overlap with indeterminate or malignant calcifications. These calcifications may be observed for a short period (ACR BI-RADS category 3), or biopsy may be performed (ACR BI-RADS categories 4 and 5).MammogramSkin or dermal calcificationsSkin or dermal calcifications (see the image below) are usually identified as spherical, lucent-centered calcifications at the periphery of the breast, especially in the inferior, posterior, and medial aspects.[21, 22] Skin calcifications may develop from a degenerative metaplastic process. Usually, skin calcifications are readily distinguished as benign findings. However, in some cases, additional imaging is needed to differentiate skin calcifications from more worrisome calcifications.Multiple skin
calcifications (arrows). When performing a skin localization procedure, the radiologist should determine if the calcifications are more likely to be in the upper or the lower portion of the breast. Thereafter, the patient's breast is placed in the mammographic unit by using a fenestrated compression device. For calcifications presumed to be in the upper part of the breast, a CC approach is used with the fenestration device in the region of the calcifications. For calcifications thought to be in the inferior part of the breast, a caudocranial approach is used. A metal marker is then placed over the calcifications, and a tangential view is obtained to show the dermal calcifications in the skin. Vascular calcificationsVascular calcifications (shown below) are commonly identified on mammography, especially in older women. Vascular calcifications, which are usually secondary to medial atherosclerosis, often demonstrate a characteristic train tracklike configuration. In some cases, it may be difficult to distinguish vascular calcifications from ductal calcifications (including calcifications representing ductal carcinoma in situ). Arterial calcification in the breasts may be associated with diabetes and hyperparathyroidism. Scattered vascular
calcifications with train track—like appearance (arrows). Lucent-centered calcificationsLucent-centered calcifications, as depicted below, which are round or oval, are almost always benign and they have thicker walls than those of rim or eggshell calcifications. Skin calcifications are often lucent-centered, and lucent-centered calcifications may form around benign debris in the ducts. Other entities that may appear as lucent-centered calcifications on mammography include silicone granulomas and fat necrosis. This patient was in a car
accident and sustained a seatbelt injury. The lucent-centered calcifications
seen are typical of fat necrosis.  This patient underwent
breast-conserving surgery. The lucent-centered calcifications (arrow) are
typical of fat necrosis.  Multiple silicone
granulomas are lucent-centered calcifications. Eggshell or rim calcificationsEggshell or rim calcifications, shown below, are thin and appear as calcium deposited on the surface of a sphere. The walls of eggshell or rim calcifications are thinner than the walls of lucent-centered calcifications. Eggshell or rim
calcifications (arrows) have walls thinner than those of lucent-centered
calcifications. Coarse or popcornlike calcificationsCoarse or popcornlike calcifications, as shown below, are associated with the involution and hyaline degeneration of fibroadenomas. Fibroadenomas are the most common breast masses seen in women younger than 35 years of age. This mass with associated
large, coarse calcifications (arrows) is a degenerating fibroadenoma.  Calcifications associated
with fibroadenomas have been termed popcorn calcifications because of their
large size and dense, coarse appearance. Large rodlike or secretory calcificationsLarge rodlike or secretory calcifications (see below) are oriented along the axes of the ductal system. These calcifications result from calcification of ductal secretions. Large rodlike or
secretory calcifications are oriented along the axis of the breast ductal
system. Round and punctate calcificationsPunctate calcifications, like in the image below, are spherical calcifications that have well-defined margins. Scattered round and
punctate calcifications (arrows). Milk of calciumMilk of calcium (see below) is a benign process that can be diagnosed readily during mammography, especially with magnification views in the CC and the true lateral (ML or LM) projections.[27] Left, On the craniocaudal
(CC) magnification view, milk of calcium appears poorly defined and smudgy
(arrows). Right, On the mediolateral (ML) or the lateromedial (LM)
magnification view, milk of calcium is seen as sharply defined,
crescent-shaped, semilunar, curvilinear (concave up), or linear arrangements
(arrows). Suture calcificationsSuture material (see the image below) may become calcified, resulting in suture calcifications.[28, 29] Suture calcifications are usually seen at a known surgical site, and the calcifications may be linear or tubular. Knots may be demonstrated. Suture calcifications are likely due to delayed resorption of catgut sutures, which can provide a matrix on which calcium can precipitate. Knotted suture
calcifications. Dystrophic calcificationsDystrophic calcifications, as shown in the image below, may form secondary to trauma, surgery, or irradiation. This patient's breast was
burned. The irregular, large calcifications are dystrophic. |
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)