"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" It's there right behind the overcast sky, how could the sun come out on a week ended in insanity? Agreed it couldn't want to shine.
as a small child I witnessed much insanity, chaos was what reigned, until enough time and love could bring about healings of wounded minds and yes by then wounded hearts, but no one I encountered ever would go into a school and open fire on the adults but positively not a child, so whereas I understand much about a humans mind breaking, I cannot understand these actions repeated over and over again of mad men and woman shooting up schools.
The first headlines after are always about gun control, as a person who lived through 1968 march up Milwaukee Ave, cars overturned and set to burn, bricks thrown through Shoppers World's windows, my God I could hear their anger from Nw Hwy & Foster where I stood, and the run home, made me understand why people want the right to have a gun for protection within their own homes walls.
In 1971 some disgruntled older brother of a guy my brothers sold a car to would come to the house while all of my family was gone, and very methodically tried to find an unlocked window to gain entry, we had no cell phones in those days so there was no way I could find my brothers, I only had to sit there and pray the guy would go away, and so I still understood even stronger why people would want the right to bear arms, to protect themselves from these space invaders.
But these 27-28 dead in Conneticut, mostly children, I cannot understand why anyone would lose their mind, shoot someone at home and then head for the nearest school, not dots are connected, no logic present.
We will never understand this type of insanity. We are 99% sane, 1 % insane and only the 1% gets this at all, and they are too large in number actually.
We all walk through our days together knowing we're not quite alone in it. When one is weak, another is strong, that with time and care we can survive it all, enjoying all the great days in between. The Good outweighs the Bad, and Forgiveness walks hand in hand with Love, doesn't it?
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
One of my blood
I have so many nephews through marriage and yet I have but 1 through blood, he was the runt of the litters, and yet I have enjoyed him all these years.
I wake up this morning, coffee in hand logging onto face book, always the variety, some putting up pictures of decorated tree, some boasting a new car purchase, and then I spot his post, I smile I am touched, he is my blood:
“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
― Alfred Tennyson, Idylls of the King and a Selection of Poems
I wake up this morning, coffee in hand logging onto face book, always the variety, some putting up pictures of decorated tree, some boasting a new car purchase, and then I spot his post, I smile I am touched, he is my blood:
“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
― Alfred Tennyson, Idylls of the King and a Selection of Poems
Saturday, November 24, 2012
The simple life
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Saw a spectacular one on Thanksgiving morning as we drove to the city, one big orange ball first climbing out behind the purple night clouds and then blasting it's beautiful light into our eyes, I couldn't look away.
The best part of the day is it's beginning.
The best part of the day is it's beginning.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Scorpio
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Hmmm, you get to see them all don't you? It's one of your days Irish, I think of you often, usually when I'm laughing, or when your grandson's telling us a funny story, his own green eyes so expressive or seeing his own Irish peek out, or sometimes a song will trigger me. But I carry you in my heart, owe you many thanks, and will absolutely never forget the strongest lady I ever met who taught me what to love in life, and to find a laugh in way too many situations. Happy 11201926 <3 br="br">
Oil of Oregano & Pure Virgin Olive Oil, for skin
Your skin is your bodies largest organ, so handle with care:
6-8 drops of Oil of Oregano & 1 shot glass of Pure Virgin Olive Oil, applied to most skin ailments brings a positive reaction, healing and in a natural fashion without all the chemical whoopla prescribed by big Pharma that actually wears down the skin and is absorbed into the body thru the skin working against other organs.
6-8 drops of Oil of Oregano & 1 shot glass of Pure Virgin Olive Oil, applied to most skin ailments brings a positive reaction, healing and in a natural fashion without all the chemical whoopla prescribed by big Pharma that actually wears down the skin and is absorbed into the body thru the skin working against other organs.
Honey & Cinnamon Paste is a wonderful cure
Take a cup, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, 3 tsp of honey, mix into a paste, and consume it. cures earaches, new colds, sore throats, and newly abscessed teeth.
And has cured some tough chest congestion.......think it's a mini miracle worker, use it for 4 days, and you've beaten it! If you can't tolerate the past, put it in milk or ice cream
And has cured some tough chest congestion.......think it's a mini miracle worker, use it for 4 days, and you've beaten it! If you can't tolerate the past, put it in milk or ice cream
Health Benefits of Cinnamon, another dynamo
What is Cinnamon?
Cinnamon is a small tree that is commonly found in South Asia and the Middle East region. The cinnamon that we typically purchase in our supermarkets is actually the bark of this tree, either sold as sticks or ground into a powder. The two most popular types of cinnamon are Ceylon and Cassia, each of which are derived from different trees.What are the Benefits of Cinnamon?
Cinnamon has extremely high anti-oxidant activity, and the oil of cinnamon has strong anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties. Cinnamon is also a great source of manganese, fiber, iron, and calcium. As a result, it has been used as an effective home remedy for:- Reducing blood sugar levels and treating Type 2 Diabetes.
- Lowering cholesterol.
- Aiding digestion.
- Treating diarrhea.
- Curing the common cold.
- Reducing arthritis pain.
- Boosting memory and cognitive function.
- Treating toothaches.
- Eliminating bad breath.
- Curing headaches and migraine pain.
Uses of Cinnamon
Home Remedy for Arthritis
Cinnamon has recently been shown to act as a natural remedy for Arthritis pain.Home Remedy for Diabetes
Research suggests that cinnamon may help treat Type 2 Diabetes by lowering blood sugar levels and increasing the amount of insulin production in the body.Home Remedy for Reducing Cholesterol
Recent studies have shown that consuming small amounts of cinnamon can help reduce LDL cholesterol (the bad one). Simply eat half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder daily. The cinnamon can be added as a mild sweetener to coffee or tea.Home Remedy for Eliminating Headaches and Migraine Pain
Cinnamon has been found to be an effective natural remedy for eliminating headaches and migraine relief.Home Remedy for Coughs and the Common Cold
Chinese medicine has long used cinnamon as a natural remedy for coughs and the common cold. A simple herbal remedy for treating a sore throat is the following:- Add a cinnamon stick to boiling water.
- Let boil for 2 minutes.
- Remove the cinnamon stick.
- Use the cinnamon water for any herbal tea, such as green tea.
- Drink this tea two times per day. If the cold persists for longer than 3 days, consult your doctor.
Home Remedy for Toothaches
Cinnamon has been known to help relieve toothache pain. Simply make a paste using five teaspoons of honey mixed with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder. Apply a small amount of this paste directly onto the aching tooth 2 or 3 times daily until the pain is relieved. You can store any extra paste in a small container at room temperature.What are the Side Effects of Cinnamon?
Some recent studies in Europe have shown that cinnamon derived from the Cassia plant contains a toxic compound known as Coumarin. This compound is known to cause liver and kidney damage in high concentrations. Since the powdered cinnamon that we purchase in our supermarkets is typically derived from the Cassia plant, it is important to avoid consuming high doses of it.Since cinnamon has an anti-clotting effect on the blood, caution should also be exercised when it is used in combination with other blood-thinning products such as aspirin. Large quantities of cinnamon should also be avoided during pregnancy due to the possibility of adverse effects on the uterus.
Anyone that is currently taking medication for controlling blood sugar levels or blood thinners should consult their doctor before using cinnamon as a regular supplement.
Where and How to Buy Cinnamon
The powdered cinnamon that we commonly use as a spice is typically Cassia cinnamon, and can be found in most grocery stores. It can also be purchased in stick form. Ceylon cinnamon is typically more expensive than Cassia cinnamon, and is therefore usually only available in specialty stores. It is usually only available in stick form. While both types are known for their therapeutic effects, the Ceylon cinnamon is slightly sweeter and is therefore considered to be of higher quality.Health Benefits of the Underated: HONEY
What is Honey?
Honey has been considered a wonderful healing agent for ages. It is a sweet and viscous fluid made by honey bees from the nectar of flowers. Honey comes in a variety of colors, from almost white down to darker colors such as amber, red, or brown. Honey is an amazing antibacterial substance which is comprised of sugars like glucose and fructose and minerals (like magnesium, potassium, calcium, sodium chlorine, sulphur, iron and phosphate), vitamins (such as B1, B2, C, B6, B5, B3), trace elements (like copper, iodine, and zinc) as well as amino acids. The nutritional properties, color and flavour of honey are determined by the types of flowers the bees pollinate.What are the Benefits of Honey?
Honey contains vitamins, minerals, and amino acids, and therefore is a wonderful beauty aid that nourishes the skin and the hair. Honey also acts as an antibacterial and antifungal agent and helps disinfect and speed the healing process in wounds, scrapes and burns.Scientific research from the University of California, Davis has also revealed that honey consumption raises our protective antioxidant levels. Antioxidants combat the free radicals which can damage cells.
Uses of Honey
Cold and Sore Throat Home Remedy
Honey is considered to be one of the best natural remedies for sore throats, coughs and general cold symptoms. Honey has long been used in various natural sore throat remedies ranging from teas to syrups. Even today many commercial preparations for sore throats and coughs (such as lozenges) are still primarily based on honey. For a simple and natural remedy to a cold or sore throat, take one teaspoon of honey twice a day until cured. If your cold or sore throat persists for longer than 5 days, you should contact your doctor.Honey as a Beauty Aid
- Cleansing Scrub: Honey mixed with ground almonds makes an excellent facial cleansing scrub.
- Skin Firming Mask: A tablespoon of honey whisked together with an egg white, 1 teaspoon of glycerin and about 1/4 cup of flour makes an excellent firming mask. Just smooth on the face, leave on 15 minutes, and rinse off with warm water. You will be pleased with the results.
- Skin Moisturizer: Honey also makes a great moisturizing pack. Just mix 2 tablespoons of honey with 2 teaspoons of whole milk, smooth over the face and throat, and let it do its job for 15 minutes. Rinse off with warm water, and finish splashing with cold water.
- Lotion for Dry Patches: Honey also makes a great lotion for dry patches of skin on hands, elbows, or other parts. Just mix 1 teaspoon of honey with 1 teaspoon of olive oil and a 1/2 teaspoon of lemon juice. Apply to hands, elbows, heels of your foot, etc., and wash off after 15 minutes. Fast relief!
- Cure for Chapped Lips and Acne: Honey works well on chapped lips and for acne because it has antibacterial properties.
- Conditioner for Dull Hair: To give your hair lustrous shine, mix 1 teaspoon of honey into 4 cups of warm water. Use as a hair rinse. And if you're a blond, add the juice of 1 lemon, too.
- Antibacterial Mouthwash: Mix 1 tablespoon of honey with a cup of warm water. Use it as a mouthwash. Honey cleans teeth and dentures, and kills germs in the mouth.
What are the Side Effects of Honey?
There are no known regular side effects to honey when used in moderation. However, it is recommended that raw honey not be fed to infants under the age of one year. This is due to the potential for honey to carry C. botulinum spores which may be harmful to the undeveloped immune systems of infants.Where and How to Buy Honey
There are two primary things to keep in mind when purchasing honey for nutritional purposes. First, dark colored honey, such as buckwheat honey, is generally thought to contain higher levels of antioxidants than the lighter colored varieties. Second, raw or unprocessed honey contains the widest variety of health-supportive substances. Any added sugar is simply a non-nutritive empty calorie that robs the body of vitamins and minerals.A born romantic, who would have guessed
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Daylight is such a great thing, we under estimate it:)
SO I came across this little diddly this morning....and I read it twice before I saw it's author, who I read plenty of in high school with an English teacher who absolutely just loved his style of stories, this obviously came from a different of one man, backing up to my stories of people, multifaceted like diamonds, all those sides, glints, and colors to be discovered, I really enjoyed finding this:
SO I came across this little diddly this morning....and I read it twice before I saw it's author, who I read plenty of in high school with an English teacher who absolutely just loved his style of stories, this obviously came from a different of one man, backing up to my stories of people, multifaceted like diamonds, all those sides, glints, and colors to be discovered, I really enjoyed finding this:
Saturday, November 17, 2012
An Aunt's Inspiration
Aunt Dot told me some years back that I had a good writing style, and to start a blog so I could write about the things that affected me in this life, I did do this and it's allowed me to get my feelings and thoughts expressed on all the things we encounter in life, I wouldn't have had the confidence without her nudges., and shared love of Chicago a town we both grew up in. We had learned all of this through emailing back and forth with her brother Dean who has been my good friend and Father in law for years now, I shared memories of Annunciation Church off of Paulina, and she wrote us back remembering she'd once lived across from it by the rectory, and of we were writing back and forth about different Chicago landmarks, or old memories we each had of that vital town.
Some of the writing involved different people and relationships that made a difference in each of our lives. Sometimes she would simply write that the computers were acting up and that Aleta her daughter was going to spend that sunday afternoon tweaking them a bit, and that she was off to the kitchen to make them all sunday dinner. They lived in trailers that were next to the other, so they were able to have so nice family fun still on Lee's days off, or leisurely days of reading newspapers and books.
My own Auntie's of merit long gone, and my own parents as well, I enjoyed the relationship's as the evolved.
Both of them having me keep an eye on Aunt Vi when they couldn't, brought me into another vital link they shared, one that for me would bring about a great sadness, as I shared some of her last path causeways, a sadness maybe only my dear pal knew I experienced, It brought with it some touching moments like her reaction to a pink rhinestone heart that was on my wallet, or stopping off to have dinner with her in the dining room when she could, or the simple things like getting her shawl or putting on lotion to legs and feet. While she slept I read some old newspaper articles and learned more about her former life and what an amazing women she was. I still miss Aunt Vi, and hope she felt my intent somewhat.
And then Aunt Dot's request for the posies for her own Ma, and we did it for Mother's Day, all of ours are at the same place, we remembered mostly the spot. She was so happy we'd done that for her.
And then the years brought vertigo to Aunt Dot, she couldn't be up long for the computer, time changes things, so Aleta and I kept some contact through emails, she is a good daughter, much in spirit to many other daughters and sons, she's given a ton of love back to the people who loved her so well. She lost her dad this year, and last night she wrote us about Aunt Dot's passing. My heart goes out to the family, very hard two in such a short amount of time, no words can convey enough on the loss to a family.
Aunt Dot became one of my Auntie's, in our age of computers it is amazing the relationships time builds, and some of the fun it gives, and comforts too in times of loss, she came into my life for some crucial parts and I can't let her go without saying: thank you for the push to express, much better than holding it in, thank you for the growth that this blog has given me in at least knowing myself, or my perspective on a few more pieces.
Some of the writing involved different people and relationships that made a difference in each of our lives. Sometimes she would simply write that the computers were acting up and that Aleta her daughter was going to spend that sunday afternoon tweaking them a bit, and that she was off to the kitchen to make them all sunday dinner. They lived in trailers that were next to the other, so they were able to have so nice family fun still on Lee's days off, or leisurely days of reading newspapers and books.
My own Auntie's of merit long gone, and my own parents as well, I enjoyed the relationship's as the evolved.
Both of them having me keep an eye on Aunt Vi when they couldn't, brought me into another vital link they shared, one that for me would bring about a great sadness, as I shared some of her last path causeways, a sadness maybe only my dear pal knew I experienced, It brought with it some touching moments like her reaction to a pink rhinestone heart that was on my wallet, or stopping off to have dinner with her in the dining room when she could, or the simple things like getting her shawl or putting on lotion to legs and feet. While she slept I read some old newspaper articles and learned more about her former life and what an amazing women she was. I still miss Aunt Vi, and hope she felt my intent somewhat.
And then Aunt Dot's request for the posies for her own Ma, and we did it for Mother's Day, all of ours are at the same place, we remembered mostly the spot. She was so happy we'd done that for her.
And then the years brought vertigo to Aunt Dot, she couldn't be up long for the computer, time changes things, so Aleta and I kept some contact through emails, she is a good daughter, much in spirit to many other daughters and sons, she's given a ton of love back to the people who loved her so well. She lost her dad this year, and last night she wrote us about Aunt Dot's passing. My heart goes out to the family, very hard two in such a short amount of time, no words can convey enough on the loss to a family.
Aunt Dot became one of my Auntie's, in our age of computers it is amazing the relationships time builds, and some of the fun it gives, and comforts too in times of loss, she came into my life for some crucial parts and I can't let her go without saying: thank you for the push to express, much better than holding it in, thank you for the growth that this blog has given me in at least knowing myself, or my perspective on a few more pieces.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
What comes naturally to one, another struggles for
A few nights back we were invited to come hear Jack & his group speak, they had just returned from a Group Getaway Weekend.
Jack joined the group to work through some communications issues he felt he had, not always able to express himself to key people in his life, although he does a wonderful job when he's here for a dinner night speaking with us, in fact I like listening to his thoughts as they evolve.
For him his attention was drawn to it due to a break up with his girlfriend of many years, but as he thought it through I think he felt he'd held in in his thoughts from many situations of old as they'd played out in his teenage years.
He is a friend to our son, and thereby ending up spending considerable time with us in his teen years, and for a time stayed with us while his own family had hit dysfunctional.
The group is many in number, different issues, but many stemming from their childhood or teen years, and yet some of them are oldsters like us. Many were verbally abused or grew up in alcholic households, and a few had been physically abused.
This group & group therapy has tied religion aka: God into it. One man has been involved for 20 years, helping to guide others is understandable to me, but seeking answers still or progress is way too long term for me to even want to think about.
The group has possible let Jack get in touch with many of his own thoughts or feelings and strengthened him to be able to verbalize or convey his feelings and emotions better to others, these getaways weekends held several times a year, but I would never wish it for him long term. It was stated that men are groomed to not express their feelings, give hugs, cry in front of anyone, and on some levels this is true, butthey should be freed from cultural
rearings that could possible imbred this type of upbringing, simply being if you want to express yourself "go for it", if you're need to cry let it flow.
Similar to the people in this group I grew up in a way dysfunctional house, Mom having a genuine bonafide nervous breakdown, she was afraid of way too many things and the news media stories of the time only seemed to be additives to an already overwhelmed mind. Caretakers of her aging Dad & his step wife, called out at all hours for hospital trips, calls from police over a dispute grandpa had been involved in, him drinking way too much and being found somewhere beaten up, a scar on his skull attested too lacks of controls there. Three young children to care for, she became worried she would hurt us, she became worried she would poison us, I have no idea where these thoughts creeped in but they did, and she hospitalized herself rather than have anything more bizarre happen, and when she got back out of the hospital, she still couldn't cope and went back for even longer, she was gone the better part of that winter of 61.
When she came home she joined one of these group therapy things, it was to strengthen her, in truth she went backwards, she being suseptable picked up everyone else's main fear, and she listened to records of the group over and over, until we all had our hands real full with this newly evolved edition, gone in with 1 or 2 things, come back with 12. We had her quit group after a friend of hers committed suicide, one of my own friends moms from down the street. And the rest would take light years to work through, and all the trimmings.
So yes Jack, I loved hearing you speak, I like what good you've drawn from this group, but please don't stay too long, please have confidence in yourself and move on using what you've learned, you're a bright young man, go, travel a bit with your brother, and move on into the sun light, it's out there, waiting for you.
Jack joined the group to work through some communications issues he felt he had, not always able to express himself to key people in his life, although he does a wonderful job when he's here for a dinner night speaking with us, in fact I like listening to his thoughts as they evolve.
For him his attention was drawn to it due to a break up with his girlfriend of many years, but as he thought it through I think he felt he'd held in in his thoughts from many situations of old as they'd played out in his teenage years.
He is a friend to our son, and thereby ending up spending considerable time with us in his teen years, and for a time stayed with us while his own family had hit dysfunctional.
The group is many in number, different issues, but many stemming from their childhood or teen years, and yet some of them are oldsters like us. Many were verbally abused or grew up in alcholic households, and a few had been physically abused.
This group & group therapy has tied religion aka: God into it. One man has been involved for 20 years, helping to guide others is understandable to me, but seeking answers still or progress is way too long term for me to even want to think about.
The group has possible let Jack get in touch with many of his own thoughts or feelings and strengthened him to be able to verbalize or convey his feelings and emotions better to others, these getaways weekends held several times a year, but I would never wish it for him long term. It was stated that men are groomed to not express their feelings, give hugs, cry in front of anyone, and on some levels this is true, butthey should be freed from cultural
rearings that could possible imbred this type of upbringing, simply being if you want to express yourself "go for it", if you're need to cry let it flow.
Similar to the people in this group I grew up in a way dysfunctional house, Mom having a genuine bonafide nervous breakdown, she was afraid of way too many things and the news media stories of the time only seemed to be additives to an already overwhelmed mind. Caretakers of her aging Dad & his step wife, called out at all hours for hospital trips, calls from police over a dispute grandpa had been involved in, him drinking way too much and being found somewhere beaten up, a scar on his skull attested too lacks of controls there. Three young children to care for, she became worried she would hurt us, she became worried she would poison us, I have no idea where these thoughts creeped in but they did, and she hospitalized herself rather than have anything more bizarre happen, and when she got back out of the hospital, she still couldn't cope and went back for even longer, she was gone the better part of that winter of 61.
When she came home she joined one of these group therapy things, it was to strengthen her, in truth she went backwards, she being suseptable picked up everyone else's main fear, and she listened to records of the group over and over, until we all had our hands real full with this newly evolved edition, gone in with 1 or 2 things, come back with 12. We had her quit group after a friend of hers committed suicide, one of my own friends moms from down the street. And the rest would take light years to work through, and all the trimmings.
So yes Jack, I loved hearing you speak, I like what good you've drawn from this group, but please don't stay too long, please have confidence in yourself and move on using what you've learned, you're a bright young man, go, travel a bit with your brother, and move on into the sun light, it's out there, waiting for you.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Not recently enough, no time to just sit and watch even our more sedate mid-western sunrise, and somehow that seems to be a real shame, for somehow staying in tune to mother-nature keeps me grounded.
Some thoughts from the last week, unrelated, yet they make you weary:
Dear Mr. a service rendered and full filled = integrity
My dear 8-5 your AADH and lack of tuning into our world is going to catch up with you, you cannot be on the phone with friends at work 4 days out of 5 and not think that our workload and $$ volume is not going to suffer, you've got me to the point where I can hardly stay contained in my own skin at work, the pile on the table to be reviewed sits there week upon week and the dates are coming up and you continue to make it a a sandbox in a play zone.
It's the birth month of my mother and father, I carry them in my heart and sometimes in my head. Conversations never had continue, of all the values and care they instilled in us, patience is my hardest one to keep aligned. I think I use up much of it in my work day, but need to stretch it better in some areas, a work in progress or a piece of work depends on who I encounter it seems.
Driving: Dear Gaming Generation again I urge you to put the cell phones down when you're behind the wheel, stop doing 65-75 mph switching lanes like you believe this is a game you can lose and start over, you really cannot start over after the crash, after the crash people maybe dead or badly injured because of your grand delusions.
My son goes out with some newer friends to celebrate the dad's birthday, and the parents tell their kids that hard times have come too close, the house must be sold and a down scaled life arranged for, retirement money once again are the only rescue and band aid. So it seems that even as we see some economy recovery, others falter and prepare to keep fighting another year. My son pitches in toward the birthday celebration, he has a good heart, he's his father's son.
We will move on, deeper into November, hopefully a few floating items out there will self correct, as I used to believe, although a sorely tested theory: "man like water will rise to his best level". Winter's around the corner.
Kms/Some days in the life of sunshine
Some thoughts from the last week, unrelated, yet they make you weary:
Dear Mr. a service rendered and full filled = integrity
My dear 8-5 your AADH and lack of tuning into our world is going to catch up with you, you cannot be on the phone with friends at work 4 days out of 5 and not think that our workload and $$ volume is not going to suffer, you've got me to the point where I can hardly stay contained in my own skin at work, the pile on the table to be reviewed sits there week upon week and the dates are coming up and you continue to make it a a sandbox in a play zone.
It's the birth month of my mother and father, I carry them in my heart and sometimes in my head. Conversations never had continue, of all the values and care they instilled in us, patience is my hardest one to keep aligned. I think I use up much of it in my work day, but need to stretch it better in some areas, a work in progress or a piece of work depends on who I encounter it seems.
Driving: Dear Gaming Generation again I urge you to put the cell phones down when you're behind the wheel, stop doing 65-75 mph switching lanes like you believe this is a game you can lose and start over, you really cannot start over after the crash, after the crash people maybe dead or badly injured because of your grand delusions.
My son goes out with some newer friends to celebrate the dad's birthday, and the parents tell their kids that hard times have come too close, the house must be sold and a down scaled life arranged for, retirement money once again are the only rescue and band aid. So it seems that even as we see some economy recovery, others falter and prepare to keep fighting another year. My son pitches in toward the birthday celebration, he has a good heart, he's his father's son.
We will move on, deeper into November, hopefully a few floating items out there will self correct, as I used to believe, although a sorely tested theory: "man like water will rise to his best level". Winter's around the corner.
Kms/Some days in the life of sunshine
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Resounding Election Question: Am I better off than 4 years ago?
Amazing unit of measure to use is this fine Election Question of 2012: "Am I better off than four years ago?"
Well let me answer this in Kathy Speaks which can be a unique way to view a few things, I am a person with good long term memory, bad short term here and there, but I most certainly remember sitting here in September 2008 the year that George Bush & his miserable co-hort were celebrating their 8th year of annihilating/running a country,
I looked at my dears 401K and saw it had lost many thousands of dollars as the stock market went bezerk, news medias hyping all the doom and gloom, more plummets, I did what everyone said not to do & I moved it out of the stocks, and into a safer slower mode, within 1 years time it re-couped some of that loss which would take us to September of 2009 and the total new construction housing collapse that would make me think way too often of Scarlett O'hara, and her Civilization Gone with the Wind, the great cicil war between the north and south left the South totally collapsed monetarily their currency no longer good, their estates manless or moneyless, decay and chaos reigning over what had been the Old South. Rhett Butler did sight to her that out of destruction come construction, and that rebuilding would commence again, profits were to be made out of that re-construction, new fortunes made by the builders and suppliers.
I was in my past life a history buff, it never ceases to amaze me how much could be learn from the past if man would only keep a clearer memory.
We were involved in New Construction so my man who had spent his adult lifetime building homes, supervising the many phases of building a subdivision became one of the MILLIONS laid off & phased out of an entire industry labeled New Construction.
And his wife who's ace card for making additional money in a pinched market, The Realtor in the family also became powerless in this field as all resale housing markets ground to a halt, then came the first glut of foreclosure homes, and another, waive after waive, year after year. Friends and selves struggling to hang onto everything they'd worked light years for. Many never made it, foreclosed on after being 2 months late, finally having a payment to send in the bank returned it to them already, they invoked the acceleration clause in the original signed mortgage, he tried to use the Home Affordable Mortgage Program being hyped and didn't make that either, he had owned his own carpet installing company, but his wife was laid off.....so not enough income, really, no shit Sherlock!
This was a gift given us by a republican choice of the people, those two men should have been exiled from the country once the stunts they pulled came to light.
Our current President and his opposition were pulled into the loop as they country sunk, 24/7 Congress & Senate sessions brought about the bail out of the very guilty banks, Wall Street, and automotive giants before our current President ever walked into the Whitehouse.
So short memories ensue, 2 years later the current laws allow a change over in the House that would fight every single bill the President would want passed, 2 years also starts campaigns way too early for the Presidents re-election or an opponent, 4 years later new elections 2 weeks away, the countries lost their minds and no one remembers what the heck landed us in this dung pile!
I remember. Am I better off than four years ago? Are we? We stood, we struggled, we sold off things near and dear, we tried, we made it, we survived it, and slowly it gets better, I see it here, I see it through my insurance agency as people call in for re-establishing their insurance on business, the amount of certificates of insurance the different companies ask for, some of the first and second wave foreclosures have sold off now. I see the shift of the New Construction trademen shifting to the Post Destruction as they fix up the pre-existing homes that economically collapsed people were forced to leave.
Would I elect Mitt for President? No way, no how, I would let him sit my dog. He's an actor and why people can't tell that from his ever changing answers is way beyond me.
The man who actually has a backbone to try and get some type of slow progress made is already in the house.
And for practical pigs everywhere: Why would you even want to risk the down time of converting, or re-establishing a new team at this most critical time, it would take them 2 years just to get up and running, we'd feel the backlash of that.
No Way, No How!
Sunshine
Well let me answer this in Kathy Speaks which can be a unique way to view a few things, I am a person with good long term memory, bad short term here and there, but I most certainly remember sitting here in September 2008 the year that George Bush & his miserable co-hort were celebrating their 8th year of annihilating/running a country,
I looked at my dears 401K and saw it had lost many thousands of dollars as the stock market went bezerk, news medias hyping all the doom and gloom, more plummets, I did what everyone said not to do & I moved it out of the stocks, and into a safer slower mode, within 1 years time it re-couped some of that loss which would take us to September of 2009 and the total new construction housing collapse that would make me think way too often of Scarlett O'hara, and her Civilization Gone with the Wind, the great cicil war between the north and south left the South totally collapsed monetarily their currency no longer good, their estates manless or moneyless, decay and chaos reigning over what had been the Old South. Rhett Butler did sight to her that out of destruction come construction, and that rebuilding would commence again, profits were to be made out of that re-construction, new fortunes made by the builders and suppliers.
I was in my past life a history buff, it never ceases to amaze me how much could be learn from the past if man would only keep a clearer memory.
We were involved in New Construction so my man who had spent his adult lifetime building homes, supervising the many phases of building a subdivision became one of the MILLIONS laid off & phased out of an entire industry labeled New Construction.
And his wife who's ace card for making additional money in a pinched market, The Realtor in the family also became powerless in this field as all resale housing markets ground to a halt, then came the first glut of foreclosure homes, and another, waive after waive, year after year. Friends and selves struggling to hang onto everything they'd worked light years for. Many never made it, foreclosed on after being 2 months late, finally having a payment to send in the bank returned it to them already, they invoked the acceleration clause in the original signed mortgage, he tried to use the Home Affordable Mortgage Program being hyped and didn't make that either, he had owned his own carpet installing company, but his wife was laid off.....so not enough income, really, no shit Sherlock!
This was a gift given us by a republican choice of the people, those two men should have been exiled from the country once the stunts they pulled came to light.
Our current President and his opposition were pulled into the loop as they country sunk, 24/7 Congress & Senate sessions brought about the bail out of the very guilty banks, Wall Street, and automotive giants before our current President ever walked into the Whitehouse.
So short memories ensue, 2 years later the current laws allow a change over in the House that would fight every single bill the President would want passed, 2 years also starts campaigns way too early for the Presidents re-election or an opponent, 4 years later new elections 2 weeks away, the countries lost their minds and no one remembers what the heck landed us in this dung pile!
I remember. Am I better off than four years ago? Are we? We stood, we struggled, we sold off things near and dear, we tried, we made it, we survived it, and slowly it gets better, I see it here, I see it through my insurance agency as people call in for re-establishing their insurance on business, the amount of certificates of insurance the different companies ask for, some of the first and second wave foreclosures have sold off now. I see the shift of the New Construction trademen shifting to the Post Destruction as they fix up the pre-existing homes that economically collapsed people were forced to leave.
Would I elect Mitt for President? No way, no how, I would let him sit my dog. He's an actor and why people can't tell that from his ever changing answers is way beyond me.
The man who actually has a backbone to try and get some type of slow progress made is already in the house.
And for practical pigs everywhere: Why would you even want to risk the down time of converting, or re-establishing a new team at this most critical time, it would take them 2 years just to get up and running, we'd feel the backlash of that.
No Way, No How!
Sunshine
Monday, October 8, 2012
Only time can ease some
"I shall walk this way but once, any kindness that I can do, let me do it now, for I shall not walk this way again".
And so constantly on face book we see all of the interactions and inter-reactions of people we know well and some people who have been acquaintances of varying degrees, we see their laughter, we see their sport team favorites, we see cooking trends they're excited for, shoes they wished they had, training increments they dreading ( I did not know police trainees had to be pepper sprayed nor taizored but I do now), we see birthday celebrated, illnesses and prayers wished for, friends rallying to support whatever is in someones day, comments posted supporting others out there.
We see people missing their parents and posting beautiful heaven thoughts. We also see people posting these heavenly thoughts for their children who have left the earth as we know it. I thinks sometimes I feel their pain more than words can say.
One of them is rearing his grandson. His own son had been in the armed forces, come home, and the coming home part seemed to be where the troubles began or ended, he took his own life, no one really knows what he was thinking they only know they miss him, and he left grieving parents, and a grieivng son who is about age 9.
So much unexplained, and them left wondering, did they not hear something behind the words said?
A hard one to move on from, only perhaps time will help heal some of the wounds.
Only time can heal some wounds, and an whole lot of love.
And so constantly on face book we see all of the interactions and inter-reactions of people we know well and some people who have been acquaintances of varying degrees, we see their laughter, we see their sport team favorites, we see cooking trends they're excited for, shoes they wished they had, training increments they dreading ( I did not know police trainees had to be pepper sprayed nor taizored but I do now), we see birthday celebrated, illnesses and prayers wished for, friends rallying to support whatever is in someones day, comments posted supporting others out there.
We see people missing their parents and posting beautiful heaven thoughts. We also see people posting these heavenly thoughts for their children who have left the earth as we know it. I thinks sometimes I feel their pain more than words can say.
One of them is rearing his grandson. His own son had been in the armed forces, come home, and the coming home part seemed to be where the troubles began or ended, he took his own life, no one really knows what he was thinking they only know they miss him, and he left grieving parents, and a grieivng son who is about age 9.
So much unexplained, and them left wondering, did they not hear something behind the words said?
A hard one to move on from, only perhaps time will help heal some of the wounds.
Only time can heal some wounds, and an whole lot of love.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
A Young Mans Dream
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" I saw a bit of it this morning, and I want to make it clear sometimes my sunshine rises through the eyes of another.
A young man in my bloodline I've watched grow up from the cradle on, he has always been a big favorite of mine, he is my nephew Ryan. Watching a little personality develop is a wonderful thing for an aunty, but in my eyes this particular one has always been intriguing, pretty clear cut about his likes and dislikes, well principled, his own worst judge so little disciplines ever warranted as he invoked his own. My husband told me yesterday was his graduation day (texted by my brother) from the police academy, and so Aunty smiled with pride over where the young man directed himself, much love for this young gent. And this morning she see his fine picture on face book. And she sees a sunrise through Ryan's eyes.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Life and Change
Oh the adventures of childhood, the day Cyndie driving the bike, me on the handlebars ran us into Pankau Drugs brick wall at Austin & Milwaukee, hitting the wall full steam & flying off the bars no slow motion there, as much of a dead end as any other ever reached in this life, pain...yes a bit. Teeth fine, and no breaks. And Lucky for Her she switched to horses in adult life.
But that same feeling comes now as we dead end one segment, and the unknown looms ahead like that damn brick wall, spend so much time really not knowing where we're going, good I guess for forcing you to really cherish the individual days.
The drive home from work you shake off the day, you try to have some kind of real living time with the family, these days that comes with so many varying schedules which inflict some type of mood disorder, the youngster wants to sleep, exhausted by his double jobs, his gal calls & wants to romp out for dinner, ask him a questions and he ignores you or grunts an answer. A different type of brick wall encountered some days, other days will get you a string of sentences describing one child out of hand at school, sometimes the parents altered the medicines prescribed for the child's current diagnosis, and this can really alter the abuse the staff members end up taking, bites, kicks, scratches, and occasionally the broken nose, all part of the staffs day as a youngster acts out, very little controls in his small package.
Spouse having just gruel through the weekly lawn mowing, that has each of us wanting to shrink the terrain closer to a city lot than even close to what we have.
All tired from a week as it nears it end.
4/5th's empty end out our thursday. Tired and quiet.
Some Football and sleep.
But that same feeling comes now as we dead end one segment, and the unknown looms ahead like that damn brick wall, spend so much time really not knowing where we're going, good I guess for forcing you to really cherish the individual days.
The drive home from work you shake off the day, you try to have some kind of real living time with the family, these days that comes with so many varying schedules which inflict some type of mood disorder, the youngster wants to sleep, exhausted by his double jobs, his gal calls & wants to romp out for dinner, ask him a questions and he ignores you or grunts an answer. A different type of brick wall encountered some days, other days will get you a string of sentences describing one child out of hand at school, sometimes the parents altered the medicines prescribed for the child's current diagnosis, and this can really alter the abuse the staff members end up taking, bites, kicks, scratches, and occasionally the broken nose, all part of the staffs day as a youngster acts out, very little controls in his small package.
Spouse having just gruel through the weekly lawn mowing, that has each of us wanting to shrink the terrain closer to a city lot than even close to what we have.
All tired from a week as it nears it end.
4/5th's empty end out our thursday. Tired and quiet.
Some Football and sleep.
Half here & 1/2 not
As I get closer to the next dreaded step of the next birthdays and see our clocks ticking a bit faster, clueless to where we're going, yet remembering so much of where we've been in the past, who we've been, I stumbled upon a puzzle of two swans in my facebook puzzled hearts game and it's beautiful, then subliminally I start humming a song, damn it's a song that was out when we were dating, just started this long trek. The lyrics still hold some meanings for me, and so I remain 1 foot in this present world, one foot in the past:
Wild Swans Against the Sun by Michael Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLzsIEZZz2g
Wild Swans Against the Sun by Michael Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLzsIEZZz2g
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Making a task harder
On a side note, you encounter the people out there who really can't seem to think ahead or anticipate in their work, odd for us neither one of us is like that in our work, so you will end up frustrated in your work day when you run into all the annals out there, who can't seem to connect their dots, think ahead or plan. This will seriously impact your own progress, as they seem to live their work lives this way, yet you need their piece of the puzzle in place to carry it onto the next level of yours.
One would have to understand that just like hate taking a toll on the human body, or conflicts taking a toll on your own body and health, so would constant aggravation and stress endured as people drag their feet on your needed details.
My own intolerance of this only makes me snap eventually, hopefully at the right person. Don't call me into your office, away from my work which I was doing, so that I can bear witness to you getting 5 minutes of finishing touches put onto something, if you're not ready for my involvement don't waste my time, even if you're the one paying me for my time.
Highest and best use of time becomes very regimented in a do-er. That's why you hired me, so why tie my hands?
"and so it goes"....- Kurt Vonnegut
One would have to understand that just like hate taking a toll on the human body, or conflicts taking a toll on your own body and health, so would constant aggravation and stress endured as people drag their feet on your needed details.
My own intolerance of this only makes me snap eventually, hopefully at the right person. Don't call me into your office, away from my work which I was doing, so that I can bear witness to you getting 5 minutes of finishing touches put onto something, if you're not ready for my involvement don't waste my time, even if you're the one paying me for my time.
Highest and best use of time becomes very regimented in a do-er. That's why you hired me, so why tie my hands?
"and so it goes"....- Kurt Vonnegut
White Noise, if you will
8 years back the office suites were full, equaling 4 peaople in addition to our own 4 people/staff . Our work office suite was half empty for the last 5 years the others had been moved out to a new location, so we had two larger suites to to right of us empty. Five years can be a long time. At first it seemed overly quiet, but trust me you get used to it, quiet becomes bliss on chaotic days of phones ringing, and people showing up un-announced.
You possibly become spoil, and then they rent out 1 office suite to a man & his wife starting a small company, and then after 3 years of that small increase of interaction, this year his company blossomed full gambit, he brought over staff from India and rented to two bigger suites, and within one weekend began to fill them, first 6 new staffers, then another 6, and some drifters that walk around throughout the day ever pacing with their wireless Macs, ever talking their tech support, some quietly, some loudly, now have fun and throw in that it's all in another language.
Another conducts all day multiple conference calls as if he is deaf, he speaks very loudly.
I am in the middle of this chaos.
It's really a struggle some days not to stop and scream at them to get back to their respective suites, to stop this insane foreign country method of having little or no regard for the other sharing the space.
It degenerates due to the foreign language, when I'm typing an email now I find I am struggling to keep my own words in my head long enough to get them onto the screen, or in phone calls I am starting to loose the thread for cohesiveness.
I want to cry some days. This is not me, how did I get here, and how long will I have to put up with this instant noise increase, and strutting back and forth like my area is a break room, everyone comparing their frickn days while I try to carry on with a new claim phone call.
It is white noise at it's best, like a scene from the old movie "snake pit", the insanity spews.
You possibly become spoil, and then they rent out 1 office suite to a man & his wife starting a small company, and then after 3 years of that small increase of interaction, this year his company blossomed full gambit, he brought over staff from India and rented to two bigger suites, and within one weekend began to fill them, first 6 new staffers, then another 6, and some drifters that walk around throughout the day ever pacing with their wireless Macs, ever talking their tech support, some quietly, some loudly, now have fun and throw in that it's all in another language.
Another conducts all day multiple conference calls as if he is deaf, he speaks very loudly.
I am in the middle of this chaos.
It's really a struggle some days not to stop and scream at them to get back to their respective suites, to stop this insane foreign country method of having little or no regard for the other sharing the space.
It degenerates due to the foreign language, when I'm typing an email now I find I am struggling to keep my own words in my head long enough to get them onto the screen, or in phone calls I am starting to loose the thread for cohesiveness.
I want to cry some days. This is not me, how did I get here, and how long will I have to put up with this instant noise increase, and strutting back and forth like my area is a break room, everyone comparing their frickn days while I try to carry on with a new claim phone call.
It is white noise at it's best, like a scene from the old movie "snake pit", the insanity spews.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
The Fun of Astrology
Aquarius: The Sun Enters Libra!
There's nothing laid-back about this week's transits! Firstly, Pluto turns direct on September 17, when power issues ratchet up. Then, a life-changing aspect occurs as revolutionary Uranus squares reform-minded Pluto on September 18 for the second time this year. Mercury then connects to this square on September 20 with not only its own opposition to Uranus, but a square to Pluto -- at which point you may learn something that prompts you to reconsider your plans. Finally, invest in your love life as the Sun enters Libra on September 22.
The truth is half of these dates forecasted are in the past. Just fun every once in awhile to see what they think is in store based on the planetary line up, the stars and gravity. This was a very old area studied by many great ancient scholars, and yet these days it's not given credit due tot the forecaster's not being scholars but people intent upon making a dollar off of it, and in addition to so much more has been discovered within and out of the Universe that they'd have to weigh in all of the new factors in their summations.
So yet another ancient tidbit of knowledge lies to the side of the road three legged now, and distorted, most of the truths drained from it.
There's nothing laid-back about this week's transits! Firstly, Pluto turns direct on September 17, when power issues ratchet up. Then, a life-changing aspect occurs as revolutionary Uranus squares reform-minded Pluto on September 18 for the second time this year. Mercury then connects to this square on September 20 with not only its own opposition to Uranus, but a square to Pluto -- at which point you may learn something that prompts you to reconsider your plans. Finally, invest in your love life as the Sun enters Libra on September 22.
The truth is half of these dates forecasted are in the past. Just fun every once in awhile to see what they think is in store based on the planetary line up, the stars and gravity. This was a very old area studied by many great ancient scholars, and yet these days it's not given credit due tot the forecaster's not being scholars but people intent upon making a dollar off of it, and in addition to so much more has been discovered within and out of the Universe that they'd have to weigh in all of the new factors in their summations.
So yet another ancient tidbit of knowledge lies to the side of the road three legged now, and distorted, most of the truths drained from it.
The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions
Of course I'm laughing. Man's best thought is " I would have, but....." or" I should have, but".
And there you have it, month after month, year after year, people make excuses for what they don't do.
I'm guilty of it, my paper work flow will salute that truth. I hate paperwork, it never ends, I'd put it all out in the fire pit in a blink, if I didn't know I'd be searching for some darn piece within the next two weeks. Example, medical bills, or auto service records, "did it have such and such done to it", and off I go trying to locate the name that tune of the hour.
Other people make excuses with family, "I'd stop if I had more time". Well here's the counter question: "How do you make time for everything else you do?"
"I'd go and visit if so and so wasn't there". Counterpoint: What the hell does one person matter if the other 4 are who you wanted to see?
"I'm not feeling up to snuff lately". Counterpoint: What can you do to change that, to make an improvement? If you could do two more things to make possibly better, why wouldn't you?
"I don't have time to read". Stay up an hour later and make time.
So you try to add in one more thing, push yourself a little bit more, take the initiative and you be the hugger the giver, make an attempt to make a sad song a little better.
Everyone feels the pains, the slow downs, but not everyone pushes themselves to make it a little better.
And that includes me and the paperwork, which should and hopefully will gets updated and filed.
And there you have it, month after month, year after year, people make excuses for what they don't do.
I'm guilty of it, my paper work flow will salute that truth. I hate paperwork, it never ends, I'd put it all out in the fire pit in a blink, if I didn't know I'd be searching for some darn piece within the next two weeks. Example, medical bills, or auto service records, "did it have such and such done to it", and off I go trying to locate the name that tune of the hour.
Other people make excuses with family, "I'd stop if I had more time". Well here's the counter question: "How do you make time for everything else you do?"
"I'd go and visit if so and so wasn't there". Counterpoint: What the hell does one person matter if the other 4 are who you wanted to see?
"I'm not feeling up to snuff lately". Counterpoint: What can you do to change that, to make an improvement? If you could do two more things to make possibly better, why wouldn't you?
"I don't have time to read". Stay up an hour later and make time.
So you try to add in one more thing, push yourself a little bit more, take the initiative and you be the hugger the giver, make an attempt to make a sad song a little better.
Everyone feels the pains, the slow downs, but not everyone pushes themselves to make it a little better.
And that includes me and the paperwork, which should and hopefully will gets updated and filed.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Loving Grandpa is Easy
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Actually I see the sunrise through other people as well. One of those people is Grandpa Dean, he's not my Grandpa he is my sons Grandpa, my husbands father. He is a keeper, and any I time I spend with him is very valuable to my human spirit or soul. He's been one of my best friends in life.
We've researched and enjoyed many topics throughout the years, Astrology in the 70's, religion in the 80's and 90's, herbal medicines and homeopathic medicine's that serve my family well the last few years for certain.
Sometimes I pick him up for his dialysis appointment, and it gives us the opportunity to talk a little, and check in on eachother, a good thing as we've both had a caring and loving relationship of many years. Even when I'd been naughty in a familial way Grandpa & our Mike always kept loving me for myself, few conditions imposed, so as close to unconditional love as I could get.
On our outings we use humor and care, and try to give some heart to the others we encounter who are also experiencing this treatment 3-4 times a week. Simply open the door for them as they come and go can ease many paths, or wheel chair bound people who can't get over the threshold hump so without thought placed not once but twice for their exit. I cannot tell you how many fine and warm hearted people we encounter, they always greet eachother, and check to see how another is fairing out, they also appreciate eachother more when a renegade crabby person is thrown into their midst, and yet even they try to be nice to crabby one and start to thaw that person attitude out a bit just by their simple caring ways.
One man is carrying his anger more than the others so he directs it to the various cab companies who come and pick him up, and with very bigoted questions directed at the others occupants in the waiting room, my second encounter with him finds he's been doing this for the last 7 years, and that this particular center opened in 2009 so it's a newer facility, his previous one was torn down and had been 1 block from his own house thus the cabbie hatred to be vented upon the 3 x's a week. He openly asks each member "what they are" as in heritage, I lose my reading concentration and begin smiling, he will always get around to me and what I am reading and WHY I AM READING IT. Yesterday he diffused quickly, he was very tired by the treatment, he called the cab and we all watched out for it for 1 1/2 hours as he nodded out in his wheel chair, and yet it did not come for him. Pace Bus Service also picks up other patients, and they are also reputed per the waiting room folks to average 1-6 hours late on pick ups. He wakes up from his nap, calls them back to find no one's coming, and calls another cab company, he then wheels himself over to the McDonald's that fronts the facility thinking he'll have a better chance of catching a cab next the busy street. I mentally assess how much wheeling strength is there, and despite his usual cranky start in the waiting room, hope that the Gods are kind and get him home sooner than later to his place off Broadway, I don't buy into his cranky thing I just see a man with Health Problems. Other people stop out in the waiting room to have a snack or drink of water, many have family there to lend a hand, and others wait for their various driver's : familial or hired.
An ambulance comes for one woman who's blood pressure and heart rate went askew off to St Jo's, Grandpa asks me later if I saw this play out, two weeks ago he mentioned he'd been reading and he'd found in his readings that sometimes people do need an ambulance to come due to blood related problems that crop up, he asks if I and my spouse are aware of this and gives me one of his sideways guarded looks to make sure I tell him the truth, he ends up making me feel a burst of love and again I am so happy he shares his time with us. As I said before he is a keeper, just when he might feel we're keeping him, he's really been keeping us.
We go to leave yesterday and we're driving out of the parking lot, a big old golden BEE flies in my window and lands on my lap, Grandpa always watching and accessing watches my reactions, I put it in park exclaiming "I can't do this, I can't do this" my left hand clutches my pants leg outward, the bee stumbles about drunkenly, takes a hop misses, 2nd hop & back out of the drivers window it goes. Grandpa sitting there smiling as I re-compose myself and start driving back home :)
We've researched and enjoyed many topics throughout the years, Astrology in the 70's, religion in the 80's and 90's, herbal medicines and homeopathic medicine's that serve my family well the last few years for certain.
Sometimes I pick him up for his dialysis appointment, and it gives us the opportunity to talk a little, and check in on eachother, a good thing as we've both had a caring and loving relationship of many years. Even when I'd been naughty in a familial way Grandpa & our Mike always kept loving me for myself, few conditions imposed, so as close to unconditional love as I could get.
On our outings we use humor and care, and try to give some heart to the others we encounter who are also experiencing this treatment 3-4 times a week. Simply open the door for them as they come and go can ease many paths, or wheel chair bound people who can't get over the threshold hump so without thought placed not once but twice for their exit. I cannot tell you how many fine and warm hearted people we encounter, they always greet eachother, and check to see how another is fairing out, they also appreciate eachother more when a renegade crabby person is thrown into their midst, and yet even they try to be nice to crabby one and start to thaw that person attitude out a bit just by their simple caring ways.
One man is carrying his anger more than the others so he directs it to the various cab companies who come and pick him up, and with very bigoted questions directed at the others occupants in the waiting room, my second encounter with him finds he's been doing this for the last 7 years, and that this particular center opened in 2009 so it's a newer facility, his previous one was torn down and had been 1 block from his own house thus the cabbie hatred to be vented upon the 3 x's a week. He openly asks each member "what they are" as in heritage, I lose my reading concentration and begin smiling, he will always get around to me and what I am reading and WHY I AM READING IT. Yesterday he diffused quickly, he was very tired by the treatment, he called the cab and we all watched out for it for 1 1/2 hours as he nodded out in his wheel chair, and yet it did not come for him. Pace Bus Service also picks up other patients, and they are also reputed per the waiting room folks to average 1-6 hours late on pick ups. He wakes up from his nap, calls them back to find no one's coming, and calls another cab company, he then wheels himself over to the McDonald's that fronts the facility thinking he'll have a better chance of catching a cab next the busy street. I mentally assess how much wheeling strength is there, and despite his usual cranky start in the waiting room, hope that the Gods are kind and get him home sooner than later to his place off Broadway, I don't buy into his cranky thing I just see a man with Health Problems. Other people stop out in the waiting room to have a snack or drink of water, many have family there to lend a hand, and others wait for their various driver's : familial or hired.
An ambulance comes for one woman who's blood pressure and heart rate went askew off to St Jo's, Grandpa asks me later if I saw this play out, two weeks ago he mentioned he'd been reading and he'd found in his readings that sometimes people do need an ambulance to come due to blood related problems that crop up, he asks if I and my spouse are aware of this and gives me one of his sideways guarded looks to make sure I tell him the truth, he ends up making me feel a burst of love and again I am so happy he shares his time with us. As I said before he is a keeper, just when he might feel we're keeping him, he's really been keeping us.
We go to leave yesterday and we're driving out of the parking lot, a big old golden BEE flies in my window and lands on my lap, Grandpa always watching and accessing watches my reactions, I put it in park exclaiming "I can't do this, I can't do this" my left hand clutches my pants leg outward, the bee stumbles about drunkenly, takes a hop misses, 2nd hop & back out of the drivers window it goes. Grandpa sitting there smiling as I re-compose myself and start driving back home :)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
My mistakes have cost me
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Yesterday, I saw it rising, and you'd think that would be sufficient, but not for this slightly crazy gal.
To the world the following story would not be jarring or earth shattering but it threw me off balance.
I came from humble people, and since we didn't have much, maybe we set a store by what we did have, maybe watching someone use their personal belongings over and over again, instead of going out and getting new like some folks as they tire of a dish pattern, a silverware pattern, more trendy clothes, whatever....I am just as happy with 37 year old cups, dishes, silverware only replaced here due a mindless creature our son brought home for three or four years who threw silverware out with paperplates, and took cups home by the gazooks, God's she was educated , medicated and mindless, a fine specimen of manic depressed disordered, suffice it to say when she babysat her niece and nephew she fed them pizza out of the garbage one day and thought she was a bonnie lass versus a potential dumb ass.
So, years ago I had bought tall tupperware cups, pastels with the lids, and Ma had a set as well, we used these for coffee every day of our married lives, it was one of the few things I had in the hope chest aka: my Grandma's cedar chest as we planned on getting married tupperware was apparently my material attraction. So we each had an identical set, ma's and mine.
Throughout the years mine would take more of a beating, lost pieces, whatever. When Ma passed on, I incorporated her set into mine, including her pink cup.
Now when the mindless bitch was staying here so much, I hid the pink cup cause I didn't want Ma's favorite getting abducted by her, I hid it in the cedar chest until that girl was out of our lives. I know a petty move perhaps, but I was trying to hang on to something.
The last three years as we've sold off jewelry, records, books, anything that wasn't nailed down, yet held a value to be adding to the ever-lacking mortgage dollars of this DEPRESSION, going going gone, might have made me just a little screwier (she laughs) than I already was, thus valuing my little world of keepsakes a bit more.
She laughs, she cries: Yesterday I took out the garbage on the way out to work, set my purse on the ground, coffee cup on my back bumper, threw the garbage out, grabbed my purse and got int the truck and left, how the hell I never saw the coffee cup I'll never know, I fucking drove off with it on the bumper, a daily habit of reaching for it once I was on the main street rendered, oh fuck.... I drove back immediately, it should have fallen off on my own property since I drive like a jerk, stopping every 10 seconds, but NOOOOOO, no where in sight.
Crazy as it sounds, it threw my day out of whack, and a bit of my world with it, it was Ma's Pink cup, lost now as much as Ma. Self hatred ensues, I should have left it in the cedar chest.
Now you will remember, Sunshine's always been honest as often as possible, largely due to the part of her inner child who still remains alive and thriving, so she'd be lying if she didn't own up to: Even a little thing can gain a tear & a smile
FOOTNOTE: With a smile I can tell you that the same morning I wrote this blog entry on, I left the house to go get Grandpa for Dialysis, and some two blocks down on Northwest highway I spotted the cup in the right gutter, backed up my truck (no cars coming), parked and retrieve my hit and run cup, scads of gravel inside it, definitely crushed by a tire I was very happy to be able to retrieve this particular mental pacifier, it is clean & going into the cedar chest today along with Ma & Dad's other keepsakes.
To the world the following story would not be jarring or earth shattering but it threw me off balance.
I came from humble people, and since we didn't have much, maybe we set a store by what we did have, maybe watching someone use their personal belongings over and over again, instead of going out and getting new like some folks as they tire of a dish pattern, a silverware pattern, more trendy clothes, whatever....I am just as happy with 37 year old cups, dishes, silverware only replaced here due a mindless creature our son brought home for three or four years who threw silverware out with paperplates, and took cups home by the gazooks, God's she was educated , medicated and mindless, a fine specimen of manic depressed disordered, suffice it to say when she babysat her niece and nephew she fed them pizza out of the garbage one day and thought she was a bonnie lass versus a potential dumb ass.
So, years ago I had bought tall tupperware cups, pastels with the lids, and Ma had a set as well, we used these for coffee every day of our married lives, it was one of the few things I had in the hope chest aka: my Grandma's cedar chest as we planned on getting married tupperware was apparently my material attraction. So we each had an identical set, ma's and mine.
Throughout the years mine would take more of a beating, lost pieces, whatever. When Ma passed on, I incorporated her set into mine, including her pink cup.
Now when the mindless bitch was staying here so much, I hid the pink cup cause I didn't want Ma's favorite getting abducted by her, I hid it in the cedar chest until that girl was out of our lives. I know a petty move perhaps, but I was trying to hang on to something.
The last three years as we've sold off jewelry, records, books, anything that wasn't nailed down, yet held a value to be adding to the ever-lacking mortgage dollars of this DEPRESSION, going going gone, might have made me just a little screwier (she laughs) than I already was, thus valuing my little world of keepsakes a bit more.
She laughs, she cries: Yesterday I took out the garbage on the way out to work, set my purse on the ground, coffee cup on my back bumper, threw the garbage out, grabbed my purse and got int the truck and left, how the hell I never saw the coffee cup I'll never know, I fucking drove off with it on the bumper, a daily habit of reaching for it once I was on the main street rendered, oh fuck.... I drove back immediately, it should have fallen off on my own property since I drive like a jerk, stopping every 10 seconds, but NOOOOOO, no where in sight.
Crazy as it sounds, it threw my day out of whack, and a bit of my world with it, it was Ma's Pink cup, lost now as much as Ma. Self hatred ensues, I should have left it in the cedar chest.
Now you will remember, Sunshine's always been honest as often as possible, largely due to the part of her inner child who still remains alive and thriving, so she'd be lying if she didn't own up to: Even a little thing can gain a tear & a smile
FOOTNOTE: With a smile I can tell you that the same morning I wrote this blog entry on, I left the house to go get Grandpa for Dialysis, and some two blocks down on Northwest highway I spotted the cup in the right gutter, backed up my truck (no cars coming), parked and retrieve my hit and run cup, scads of gravel inside it, definitely crushed by a tire I was very happy to be able to retrieve this particular mental pacifier, it is clean & going into the cedar chest today along with Ma & Dad's other keepsakes.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Santa & the great white hope of believing
I always believed in Santa Claus, and when my Mother told me Santa didn't really exist, and she nailed down my hopping Easter Bunny in the same conversation I was very pissed off.
So when the GREAT Housing market collapsed and you watched it all disintegrate, it's impact on the country, it's impact on our friends and families, it's impact on our household first one way jobs related, and then some other ways as the homes devalued, it became very close to the Santa syndrome all over again. What could you believe in?
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
This is not to say that we didn't encounter our fair share of people who would pull you into their own non realistic world, promising the sun and the stars, only to drop you on your face nose first of course, some well intentioned, some just strokers telling you what they thought you wanted to hear, some of this could even be amusing if you kept a very disgusting sense of humor in your armory.
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
Now going back to Santa, the small child within still has enough resiliency left, so that she still believes, Santa has another round coming up soon, she's peeking out through the door hinge crack, she wants to see if Santa comes through, or if Santa drops us on our noses. She hopes the small child within never stops believing completely. But when she's forced to be practical she still believes in:
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I keep believing in!
Sunshine
So when the GREAT Housing market collapsed and you watched it all disintegrate, it's impact on the country, it's impact on our friends and families, it's impact on our household first one way jobs related, and then some other ways as the homes devalued, it became very close to the Santa syndrome all over again. What could you believe in?
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
This is not to say that we didn't encounter our fair share of people who would pull you into their own non realistic world, promising the sun and the stars, only to drop you on your face nose first of course, some well intentioned, some just strokers telling you what they thought you wanted to hear, some of this could even be amusing if you kept a very disgusting sense of humor in your armory.
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I kept believing in.
Now going back to Santa, the small child within still has enough resiliency left, so that she still believes, Santa has another round coming up soon, she's peeking out through the door hinge crack, she wants to see if Santa comes through, or if Santa drops us on our noses. She hopes the small child within never stops believing completely. But when she's forced to be practical she still believes in:
People. My own people, and myself. That's what I keep believing in!
Sunshine
The Broke State of Confusion, our own Illinois
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Yes, indeed, thank you. But even the most off the wall spiritual being will tune into the humor going on in her own State, a broke State, so we tender some observations on IDOT, oh the things we see in a work week driving down 53 North to Lake Cook Easts exit ramp.
Now the fun in this observing comes from 8 years of traveling the same path, a scary thought as this probably doesn't improve your odds of survival if my eldest brother was correct in telling me to vary my route based on the law of average.
But more often than not I take 53N, and what do my wandering eyes see, no not Santa's Sleigh & 8 tiny reindeer, instead I see Idot one letter short of IDIOT out at 8am on 53 (they're not supposed to be out there per their supervisor some 4 years back before 11am) shoveling asphalt into tiny cracks on entrance and exit ramps smacking it down with a shovel (1 person) & three observing him standing around bullshiting (the ramps were totally redone last year, now 5 car lengths ahead in the middle lane is a 15 inch round hole that's been gaping and leering at our tires all summer, after two weeks of these monkeys playing their rush hour game backing up traffic, you'd think they'd have spotted this pot hole and perhaps thought about patching it.
This is the same crew that brings 3-4 trucks out so that two of their occupants can pick up litter from the grassed ditches, and those trucks are running wasting a vast quantity of gas throughout the summer, so pardon the expression but my brain sees some of this play out and can only think "WTF".
Who is their planner? Who inspects these roads anymore before deciding on where the best bang for the buck is towards repairs? Don't we need an overhaul in oh so many places throughout the state so that people begin to do the right things again, and if you're short on funds this becomes even more crucial?
Now the fun in this observing comes from 8 years of traveling the same path, a scary thought as this probably doesn't improve your odds of survival if my eldest brother was correct in telling me to vary my route based on the law of average.
But more often than not I take 53N, and what do my wandering eyes see, no not Santa's Sleigh & 8 tiny reindeer, instead I see Idot one letter short of IDIOT out at 8am on 53 (they're not supposed to be out there per their supervisor some 4 years back before 11am) shoveling asphalt into tiny cracks on entrance and exit ramps smacking it down with a shovel (1 person) & three observing him standing around bullshiting (the ramps were totally redone last year, now 5 car lengths ahead in the middle lane is a 15 inch round hole that's been gaping and leering at our tires all summer, after two weeks of these monkeys playing their rush hour game backing up traffic, you'd think they'd have spotted this pot hole and perhaps thought about patching it.
This is the same crew that brings 3-4 trucks out so that two of their occupants can pick up litter from the grassed ditches, and those trucks are running wasting a vast quantity of gas throughout the summer, so pardon the expression but my brain sees some of this play out and can only think "WTF".
Who is their planner? Who inspects these roads anymore before deciding on where the best bang for the buck is towards repairs? Don't we need an overhaul in oh so many places throughout the state so that people begin to do the right things again, and if you're short on funds this becomes even more crucial?
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Cool Article on Fire Rainbows:
To name it properly, a fire rainbow is a circumhorizontal arc. It is also known as a circumhorizon arc but whichever you chose, scientists (and aficionados) call it a CHA. It is given its name because it looks as if a rainbow has spontaneously combusted as it made its way across the sky. It could even be suspected, perhaps, that some malign fairy or goblin has blown the rainbow up to stop some errant human discovering that elusive pot of gold at its end!
The real explanation behind a fire rainbow lies more in science text books than in a Brothers Grimm tale. A CHA is a kind of halo – which is an optical phenomenon. These appear around the moon – or in this case the Sun. You have probably seen a halo yourself around a strong light source – take a look at street lights in the fog for example.
A cirrus cloud is one of those thin, wispy ones, often with tufts sticking out like disheveled hair! They can be huge – covering so much of the sky that you cannot see where one ends and another begins. When they are a massive sheet they are called cirrostratus. They are formed at enormous heights – over eight thousand meters. There is very little moisture at those heights and that’s why they are so skinny!
So, why don’t we see fire rainbows as often as (its now more mundane!) cousin, the rainbow? For a start the sun has to be at least fifty eight degrees above the horizon for one to occur – and you have to be lucky enough to have cirrus clouds around at the same time! Because of the necessary height of the sun you will not see a fire rainbow north of fifty five degrees – and likewise further south of the magic fifty five degrees. You may occasionally see one if you are high up on a mountain further south or north, but it is not likely!
So, if you are lucky enough to see this phenomenon, perhaps it is a good idea to make a wish! The conditions for a fire rainbow are so exact that it means that to see one is a rare sight indeed. When nature does us this sort of favor by giving us a gift such as this, then perhaps it is only right that we make a wish when we encounter it! It may not be very scientific, but to be honest, would you care?
Don't Walk:
“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
― Albert Camus
― Albert Camus
Friday, August 17, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Morphing and our time tunnels
So much involved in being a human, again like the diamond with the multiple facets to a stone pitted against our own human natures, throw in the memory for a diamond, and well you can morph back and forth quickly from past to present and back again. Being a human is a hard task at times. Who you were once pitted against who you've become, or strands that stay as a core within the person, each new time zone adding on another dimension.
There are some who believe all the different time levels stay out there playing over and over again, even as you've spiraled your life into future decades, like some insane echo reverberating.
I can't believe that would be possible, just based on one moment of memory or real time where you stand out in the elements and there is complete silence surrounding you, those moments out in a field type environment would make you think it's all more simple and streamlined, and bare of any layers.
Yet you can't help marvel at all the layers and facets one life can contain making us all so very different.
There are some who believe all the different time levels stay out there playing over and over again, even as you've spiraled your life into future decades, like some insane echo reverberating.
I can't believe that would be possible, just based on one moment of memory or real time where you stand out in the elements and there is complete silence surrounding you, those moments out in a field type environment would make you think it's all more simple and streamlined, and bare of any layers.
Yet you can't help marvel at all the layers and facets one life can contain making us all so very different.
A Day in the Life of Sunshine
08011979 A Wednesday like any other Wednesday and then so very different, it would be the first time a control freak learned there was no control over anything.
In my heaven, one day I will get you back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aiOjPVxNqY
In my heaven, one day I will get you back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aiOjPVxNqY
Monday, July 30, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
When Reporter's stopped reporting and became the Media Frenzy
Journalism, was a skilled art, a world of Who, What, When, Where and How? Each newspaper story had to utilize those five items, and the skills a writer with the English Language brought the story to life and delivered it's meaning or impact.
Me, I remember standing dressed in my jammies (the funny ones with the feet in them, a young toddler) in front of the old black and white TV which usually had some static lines and dots running through, in Chi Town you had a choice of Channel 2, 5, 7 and possibly 11 at that time, eventually 32 and 26 or some such thing would be added. David & Chad were the news casters, Len O'Connor, Fahey Flynn but they reported the TV news still using the Who, What, When, Where and How theories from the newspaper and they were respected for the good job they did in detailing for the public what had transpired on the day.
Somewhere along the way, the curtsey people developed, I remember for fact that channel 7 was the first where they thought they had to interact with each other and bring in people humors, all dressed in the same color tunics and jackets, entertaining weather people, it all grew away from reporter facts of what had happened into a world of who looked better, smiled better, and who could deliver bad new while smiling at their audience.
Next came brief garbled half thoughts interjected whereby they converse about the news headlines instead just simply staying with the facts of a story, now they'd speculate openly about possibilities of how something shaped losing the truth, and now they began to cause chaos, they grew to be too powerful, and instead twice a day or three times a day, they were on 4 times a day as a standard, and many new interruptions into scheduled programming on a more active news day with special reports.
The news media which is very trashing in their lack of fact based details, as in reality at times, had grown capable of spreading panic about homes sales being down, like any gossip spreader milling rumors, repeated often enough they gave this sad news more oomph and power than it ever should have been given, it caused people to back off and wait, it caused prices to keep diving day after day, as they just wouldn't let it alone. The home sale cycle had existed for decades, but it was a cycle you could pretty safely say ran in a five year cycle.
Not this time, this time was a humdinger as it timed in with some very greedy evil bankers having depleted their own institutions by all of the bad paper they had processed and sold off, so much chaos caused by greed that it toppled an ailing economy.
And the field day the reporters had with this just sent out echo upon echo of doom and gloom until you could just about see the America I love smoldering in ashes, knocking out more than 30 professions with it, we grind-ed to a halt.
Most certainly the greed of the bankers brought us far in getting here, but also equally responsible the current hack styled news reporters shoveled enough dirt onto the graves.
Where's their accountability? Still pulling the same crap, if anything starts to get better they waylay it with their speculations just so they can a better TV rating. They are disgusting at it's most profane form.
Me, I remember standing dressed in my jammies (the funny ones with the feet in them, a young toddler) in front of the old black and white TV which usually had some static lines and dots running through, in Chi Town you had a choice of Channel 2, 5, 7 and possibly 11 at that time, eventually 32 and 26 or some such thing would be added. David & Chad were the news casters, Len O'Connor, Fahey Flynn but they reported the TV news still using the Who, What, When, Where and How theories from the newspaper and they were respected for the good job they did in detailing for the public what had transpired on the day.
Somewhere along the way, the curtsey people developed, I remember for fact that channel 7 was the first where they thought they had to interact with each other and bring in people humors, all dressed in the same color tunics and jackets, entertaining weather people, it all grew away from reporter facts of what had happened into a world of who looked better, smiled better, and who could deliver bad new while smiling at their audience.
Next came brief garbled half thoughts interjected whereby they converse about the news headlines instead just simply staying with the facts of a story, now they'd speculate openly about possibilities of how something shaped losing the truth, and now they began to cause chaos, they grew to be too powerful, and instead twice a day or three times a day, they were on 4 times a day as a standard, and many new interruptions into scheduled programming on a more active news day with special reports.
The news media which is very trashing in their lack of fact based details, as in reality at times, had grown capable of spreading panic about homes sales being down, like any gossip spreader milling rumors, repeated often enough they gave this sad news more oomph and power than it ever should have been given, it caused people to back off and wait, it caused prices to keep diving day after day, as they just wouldn't let it alone. The home sale cycle had existed for decades, but it was a cycle you could pretty safely say ran in a five year cycle.
Not this time, this time was a humdinger as it timed in with some very greedy evil bankers having depleted their own institutions by all of the bad paper they had processed and sold off, so much chaos caused by greed that it toppled an ailing economy.
And the field day the reporters had with this just sent out echo upon echo of doom and gloom until you could just about see the America I love smoldering in ashes, knocking out more than 30 professions with it, we grind-ed to a halt.
Most certainly the greed of the bankers brought us far in getting here, but also equally responsible the current hack styled news reporters shoveled enough dirt onto the graves.
Where's their accountability? Still pulling the same crap, if anything starts to get better they waylay it with their speculations just so they can a better TV rating. They are disgusting at it's most profane form.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Humans and Diamonds, a common thread.
I've touched base on my theory here in other posts, an event brings it to mind again:
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Half Time, July
"I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." -William Penn
I was abandoned several times in life, by one or another, or another? Small reasons for prevailing insanity, but there.
Slowly this all made me tougher, more of a fighter, or rebel as one of my old not wanted bosses pointed out to me when nicknamed me " Commando", suffice it to say he was a piss poor CEO, and didn't last there long (she smiles), the life training had always been for survival, and funny to say I see this streak in other young women I encountered who have had a jostled early start, and I am always drawn to them, we are fighters not in a negative sense, but in the survival mode we've shared.
So I reach half time with less than half of my goals accomplished, must somehow kick it in the ass to make more of a dent, the clock is ticking and cannot be trusted to be kind, it's always got one more surprise for an old gal to keep ahead of, or side track you from the cause.
So in this world were things are ever changing, and totally not reliable for a smooth sail, put your seat belts on and get ready for another round, and do it the best that you can, for you won't pass this way again.
I was abandoned several times in life, by one or another, or another? Small reasons for prevailing insanity, but there.
Slowly this all made me tougher, more of a fighter, or rebel as one of my old not wanted bosses pointed out to me when nicknamed me " Commando", suffice it to say he was a piss poor CEO, and didn't last there long (she smiles), the life training had always been for survival, and funny to say I see this streak in other young women I encountered who have had a jostled early start, and I am always drawn to them, we are fighters not in a negative sense, but in the survival mode we've shared.
So I reach half time with less than half of my goals accomplished, must somehow kick it in the ass to make more of a dent, the clock is ticking and cannot be trusted to be kind, it's always got one more surprise for an old gal to keep ahead of, or side track you from the cause.
So in this world were things are ever changing, and totally not reliable for a smooth sail, put your seat belts on and get ready for another round, and do it the best that you can, for you won't pass this way again.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Another Hero, and coming home
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Every day through your eyes and mine.
We are the ultimate good guy, good guy. We are the story of Gift and Magi, and that's why it always worked, and found it's level, we always kept giving, and even when I am stranded without you, you manage to stay with me.
Gods or no Gods, beliefs or no beliefs, something put us in eachother's paths way back in time, and I have absolutely no regrets for all the days spent with you.
And the feeling of coming home, it's just tripped with rainbows and warmth, I can't even describe the feeling, it's so intense. You are my home, I need little else.
Now put that into the matrix and watch those multiple mirrors facet out.
You are the Sunshine.
We are the ultimate good guy, good guy. We are the story of Gift and Magi, and that's why it always worked, and found it's level, we always kept giving, and even when I am stranded without you, you manage to stay with me.
Gods or no Gods, beliefs or no beliefs, something put us in eachother's paths way back in time, and I have absolutely no regrets for all the days spent with you.
And the feeling of coming home, it's just tripped with rainbows and warmth, I can't even describe the feeling, it's so intense. You are my home, I need little else.
Now put that into the matrix and watch those multiple mirrors facet out.
You are the Sunshine.
Chi Town at it's best
Mentioned before in this blog I was born in Chicago, it's a different way of thinking, and my conclusion yesterday was that I've lived in the Burbs way too long.....as Stephen King would say " I'd forgotten the face of my father", or at least the face of my Chicago Father:
We were on our way home from Grandpa's treatment, a minimum of 95 degrees, rush hour, and the truck is dead, no juice from the battery ( I stop and wonder if the valet service hadn't left a door ajar for the day in it's keeping).
I call my sister by law, the one with the funny green car who drives the streets of Chicago like a lady Viking Warrier always running some errand of mercy for a family she loves much....she might still be working but I luck out she is home, she will come to get Gramps, She's been one of my female hero's for a long stretch, her role to her family is the same one I had for many years BUT MORE SO, she is good humored and always has a fun slant.
Meanwhile, Chicago kicks in, a person parking along side of us offers help in the form a battery jump, caught me off guard (if this happened in the burbs they'd just look at you and stay clear of the situation).
Sister arrives and takes Gramps, both telling me to head straight for the highway, we make it a few more blocks, and she notices I am no longer behind her and heads back, The truck is dead just in front of a bus stop.....A Woman pulls up along side of us with a truck, and asks if she can help us, we tell her we're dead, she pulls into a lot & manipulates her truck so she is facing me, and jumps the truck again (she grew up in a family of mechanics and really knows what she's doing with those cables contrary to me who had left her "How to jump a car" emergency card at home on the kitchen table to travel lighter...or so I thought...LOL)
Then throwing this suburban woman into shock, they both proceed to stop traffic both ways so I can one shot drive into a parking lot...O'REILLEY'S AUTO PARTS LOT & INTO THE SHADE. I am in awe & I am proud of Chicagoan's and the way they think of others!
Not good enough, my Sister in law then proceeds to see if the clerk has a new battery & if he will install it as a favor, before she leaves to get Gramps home to peace and refuge. Sister calls to check on me, she's so cute at times, she'll always remain a hero, and she'll probably never know how much pride is behind this smile for her.
As I waited with the young man Abel and he fixed my vehicle I had plenty of time to ponder how the day would have played out if I was in the burbs where nobody trusts anybody.
And with a mixture of pride in Chi, and shame at myself for forgetting what a great peoples I GREW UP WITH!
Never forget where you came from!
I remain, most often Sunshine:) And home safe.
We were on our way home from Grandpa's treatment, a minimum of 95 degrees, rush hour, and the truck is dead, no juice from the battery ( I stop and wonder if the valet service hadn't left a door ajar for the day in it's keeping).
I call my sister by law, the one with the funny green car who drives the streets of Chicago like a lady Viking Warrier always running some errand of mercy for a family she loves much....she might still be working but I luck out she is home, she will come to get Gramps, She's been one of my female hero's for a long stretch, her role to her family is the same one I had for many years BUT MORE SO, she is good humored and always has a fun slant.
Meanwhile, Chicago kicks in, a person parking along side of us offers help in the form a battery jump, caught me off guard (if this happened in the burbs they'd just look at you and stay clear of the situation).
Sister arrives and takes Gramps, both telling me to head straight for the highway, we make it a few more blocks, and she notices I am no longer behind her and heads back, The truck is dead just in front of a bus stop.....A Woman pulls up along side of us with a truck, and asks if she can help us, we tell her we're dead, she pulls into a lot & manipulates her truck so she is facing me, and jumps the truck again (she grew up in a family of mechanics and really knows what she's doing with those cables contrary to me who had left her "How to jump a car" emergency card at home on the kitchen table to travel lighter...or so I thought...LOL)
Then throwing this suburban woman into shock, they both proceed to stop traffic both ways so I can one shot drive into a parking lot...O'REILLEY'S AUTO PARTS LOT & INTO THE SHADE. I am in awe & I am proud of Chicagoan's and the way they think of others!
Not good enough, my Sister in law then proceeds to see if the clerk has a new battery & if he will install it as a favor, before she leaves to get Gramps home to peace and refuge. Sister calls to check on me, she's so cute at times, she'll always remain a hero, and she'll probably never know how much pride is behind this smile for her.
As I waited with the young man Abel and he fixed my vehicle I had plenty of time to ponder how the day would have played out if I was in the burbs where nobody trusts anybody.
And with a mixture of pride in Chi, and shame at myself for forgetting what a great peoples I GREW UP WITH!
Never forget where you came from!
I remain, most often Sunshine:) And home safe.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Relinguishing Details
Life starts out with no responsibilities, your greatest task is making it from breakfast to evening bath time, many an adventure had in between that all seemed to do with dirt.
Eventually you become responsible for school, good grades or NOT, attention spans or NOT.
You escape into a part time job, and eventually into your full time career. You find parts of yourself, and others find parts of you they bring to life, a promotion, and more responsibility.
Meanwhile someone has thrust a checkbook into your hands, accounting for the dollars in that checkbook, and balancing it once a month or three months of abstract mental calculations could become an evil game.
Thank God for Quicken and computers, balancing gets better, more frequent for certain, but of course the game of mentally balancing still seems intrigue the Aquarian, who must not have had enough water in her jug to stay sane.
A child comes into the world, and is a very costly adventure, she looks at families of 8 and goes into shock that could ever be, her oldest brother is dating a girl from a family of 8, her youngest brother is married to a gal from a family of 8, and her own spouse is definitely from a family of 8, though out the years I came to many conclusions on this subject, we ourselves had decided on a family of 4, and for our reasons lets call that good. And I had come from a family of 5, one of my lucky numbers as it was.
So a marriage, a checkbook, a child, some taxes, taxes on those taxes, years of diapers and baby food, baby doctor, before the real bills, furniture, beds, more beds, a house, all the insurances, working, layoffs, tuitions, autos, trucks, more trucks, frckning endless, start a business, accountants, quarterlies, all the crap, write offs, business expenses.
It was more than a checkbook that got thrust into my hands. Laughing, I think it was a sentence, similar to jail.
Now one of them wants to manage some of his own details, and he could and should, but you have to stay tuned in, and that has not been a main ingredient, he still has a butterfly approach to dabbling here and there, but not remembering when to return for the next round.
So we will slowly go forward into thrusting that checkbook into a younger pair of hands.
The joke is I will have to get him acquainted with Quicken, he is after all another Aquarian.
Eventually you become responsible for school, good grades or NOT, attention spans or NOT.
You escape into a part time job, and eventually into your full time career. You find parts of yourself, and others find parts of you they bring to life, a promotion, and more responsibility.
Meanwhile someone has thrust a checkbook into your hands, accounting for the dollars in that checkbook, and balancing it once a month or three months of abstract mental calculations could become an evil game.
Thank God for Quicken and computers, balancing gets better, more frequent for certain, but of course the game of mentally balancing still seems intrigue the Aquarian, who must not have had enough water in her jug to stay sane.
A child comes into the world, and is a very costly adventure, she looks at families of 8 and goes into shock that could ever be, her oldest brother is dating a girl from a family of 8, her youngest brother is married to a gal from a family of 8, and her own spouse is definitely from a family of 8, though out the years I came to many conclusions on this subject, we ourselves had decided on a family of 4, and for our reasons lets call that good. And I had come from a family of 5, one of my lucky numbers as it was.
So a marriage, a checkbook, a child, some taxes, taxes on those taxes, years of diapers and baby food, baby doctor, before the real bills, furniture, beds, more beds, a house, all the insurances, working, layoffs, tuitions, autos, trucks, more trucks, frckning endless, start a business, accountants, quarterlies, all the crap, write offs, business expenses.
It was more than a checkbook that got thrust into my hands. Laughing, I think it was a sentence, similar to jail.
Now one of them wants to manage some of his own details, and he could and should, but you have to stay tuned in, and that has not been a main ingredient, he still has a butterfly approach to dabbling here and there, but not remembering when to return for the next round.
So we will slowly go forward into thrusting that checkbook into a younger pair of hands.
The joke is I will have to get him acquainted with Quicken, he is after all another Aquarian.
1 particular sunrise
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" One of the best was seen with you at Foster Beach, we were younger and crazier, think we'd been out to a wedding and the reception, and we got a brain storm to go to the beach and watch the sunrise, shortly after we got there you spotted some type of over heating problem with old 55 Buick, and tried to soothe Old Bessie. We didn't really get to see the sun rise, instead I got to watch you work on the trunk in front of the sunrise:) Loved you, loved the car, loved the sunrise.
The sun has risen a good 13, 350 times since then, but I still love many parts of each day <3 <3
The sun has risen a good 13, 350 times since then, but I still love many parts of each day <3 <3
A Refreshing Blog I've been following:
Have a look at a blog I've been following via face book, it's diverse and very interesting:
http://homesteadsurvival.blogspot.com/
http://homesteadsurvival.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 24, 2012
In Search of Unconditional Love, or simplicity of:
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Make each day count then, and see one soon.
I see so many writings on people In Search of Unconditional Love, and you can all be right, yet all be wrong given the relationship and perspective of each relationship. I do believe many people get hung up on the simplicity of this when they feel guilt over a negative thought popping into their heads, I'll use the example of the love a parent feels for a child they reared for light years, it's a remarkable relationship in which you first show them the world around them, beauties and dangers, the next stage of the world they have some free times away from you while exploring their world in more detail yet when they see great beauties or great dangers they usually come back home with tales to converse on. Eventually they will see their world as more expanded than your own, and see more freedoms in their life than you have in yours all true at this arrived in point of time, as you've anchored yourself to a home to support their growth and life. There is great love in this relationship, it's as unconditional a love as you could obtain.
Now, as you both live out your decided rolls you'll come upon a stumbling block whereby the youngster needs to correct or stop doing what one could hope is a temporary experiment, or sometimes simply expand their mind to include understanding the law of physics, and that each action will cause a re-action of it's own much like pebbles cast into a pond. It is a hard learning curve they must explore their way through, and as they do this their parent might not always agreed with their stubborn approach, or some choices they make.
This does not mean you don't love them unconditional, it only means you're hoping and praying they find their path with the least amount of harm crossing it. Unconditional to me means that the love stays there and endures whatever time can throw at it. It doesn't mean you can't view different aspects as they play out, and not have hopes for where it might be bettered or smoothed.
Throughout the years I've seen so much with families and my friends families play out, and if there was a character or two who had a disagreement, people would take sides or get angered themselves, and much like the pebble it would keep spiraling outward causing more damage as it rippled. Sometimes it would seem people just couldn't stop to remember the love for one another was still there.
I'll use my friend from Real Estate as an example, a sad story of her being a single mom by choice, her mom the nanny of her two year old son during her work days, but her mom drank to excess and one day my friend walked into find the gas jets ajar, her mom passed out, and the youngster napping through the house almost blowing up.
My friend made other arrangements and told her mom she couldn't see the youngster anymore until she straightened out her act. The Mom hired an attorney and sued her own daughter for rights to see the child, this triggered anger in my then young friend and so they went at it for two years, and finally had a court imposed resolution to the problem of familial visits with always at least one more family member present to safeguard the growing youngster.
During this time the mom was hospitalized for what was thought to be pneumonia, her lungs kept filling up with liquid no matter what they did, further tests found lung cancer, advanced, although she came close she never was released from that hospital stay.
My friend went to see her, brought her flowers, all three of her brothers were there. The mother thanked her for the flowers,listened when the daughter told her she loved her, responded with I know I love you too and then told her to get out, and not to visit her again( not heresay I was there). The mom died while in the hospital, and the brothers except one kept their sister held at bay over the mother's prior dispute for about 5 more years.
They are now close again, the siblings,but it took years to make all of the repairs to each inner relationship. It seems time can heal many things if the people involved want to carry on past a time warp of troubles. That usually with time you can see objectively enough to know it was a sequence, a chapter, learn from it and move on. And it took a heap of love to make that family heal, so what's not unconditional about loving.
My own conclusion which is so simple it's childlike, is that the only time love is NOT unconditional, is when it turns to hate.
I see so many writings on people In Search of Unconditional Love, and you can all be right, yet all be wrong given the relationship and perspective of each relationship. I do believe many people get hung up on the simplicity of this when they feel guilt over a negative thought popping into their heads, I'll use the example of the love a parent feels for a child they reared for light years, it's a remarkable relationship in which you first show them the world around them, beauties and dangers, the next stage of the world they have some free times away from you while exploring their world in more detail yet when they see great beauties or great dangers they usually come back home with tales to converse on. Eventually they will see their world as more expanded than your own, and see more freedoms in their life than you have in yours all true at this arrived in point of time, as you've anchored yourself to a home to support their growth and life. There is great love in this relationship, it's as unconditional a love as you could obtain.
Now, as you both live out your decided rolls you'll come upon a stumbling block whereby the youngster needs to correct or stop doing what one could hope is a temporary experiment, or sometimes simply expand their mind to include understanding the law of physics, and that each action will cause a re-action of it's own much like pebbles cast into a pond. It is a hard learning curve they must explore their way through, and as they do this their parent might not always agreed with their stubborn approach, or some choices they make.
This does not mean you don't love them unconditional, it only means you're hoping and praying they find their path with the least amount of harm crossing it. Unconditional to me means that the love stays there and endures whatever time can throw at it. It doesn't mean you can't view different aspects as they play out, and not have hopes for where it might be bettered or smoothed.
Throughout the years I've seen so much with families and my friends families play out, and if there was a character or two who had a disagreement, people would take sides or get angered themselves, and much like the pebble it would keep spiraling outward causing more damage as it rippled. Sometimes it would seem people just couldn't stop to remember the love for one another was still there.
I'll use my friend from Real Estate as an example, a sad story of her being a single mom by choice, her mom the nanny of her two year old son during her work days, but her mom drank to excess and one day my friend walked into find the gas jets ajar, her mom passed out, and the youngster napping through the house almost blowing up.
My friend made other arrangements and told her mom she couldn't see the youngster anymore until she straightened out her act. The Mom hired an attorney and sued her own daughter for rights to see the child, this triggered anger in my then young friend and so they went at it for two years, and finally had a court imposed resolution to the problem of familial visits with always at least one more family member present to safeguard the growing youngster.
During this time the mom was hospitalized for what was thought to be pneumonia, her lungs kept filling up with liquid no matter what they did, further tests found lung cancer, advanced, although she came close she never was released from that hospital stay.
My friend went to see her, brought her flowers, all three of her brothers were there. The mother thanked her for the flowers,listened when the daughter told her she loved her, responded with I know I love you too and then told her to get out, and not to visit her again( not heresay I was there). The mom died while in the hospital, and the brothers except one kept their sister held at bay over the mother's prior dispute for about 5 more years.
They are now close again, the siblings,but it took years to make all of the repairs to each inner relationship. It seems time can heal many things if the people involved want to carry on past a time warp of troubles. That usually with time you can see objectively enough to know it was a sequence, a chapter, learn from it and move on. And it took a heap of love to make that family heal, so what's not unconditional about loving.
My own conclusion which is so simple it's childlike, is that the only time love is NOT unconditional, is when it turns to hate.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
R & K meet the Focker's
Let's face it we keep trying to swim, or float. On a rare occasion we see ourselves clear to a time slot where we can be ourselves, and the kids come up with something that casts a difference spin on the day.
We have an invite to meet the Focker's. As soon as one kid is gone I grill the other.
Do they have An Aunt Katie (Our porch preacher)?
Do they have an Uncle Rob? (Who always wants to show the kids something novel, a less walked path)
Do they have an Uncle George? (Our Brother In Law that dressed up as Santa for the kids and they bought it)
So far my son thinks they're pretty average and sane.
Then he starts recalling different things from other meetings and days.
He's got me smiling there may be hope she laughs, all families has a character somewhere you just need the right settings and some fine timing to bring it out.
Will it be the Focker's precisely, nah, I doubt it, but it should be fun....everywhere is fun if I'm with my spouse:)
No, we meet a nice family with a lot of diverse friends who make their home open to family, friends, their children's friends, family dogs, friends dogs & all were welcomed to share a day in their two graduating daughter's lives.
We have an invite to meet the Focker's. As soon as one kid is gone I grill the other.
Do they have An Aunt Katie (Our porch preacher)?
Do they have an Uncle Rob? (Who always wants to show the kids something novel, a less walked path)
Do they have an Uncle George? (Our Brother In Law that dressed up as Santa for the kids and they bought it)
So far my son thinks they're pretty average and sane.
Then he starts recalling different things from other meetings and days.
He's got me smiling there may be hope she laughs, all families has a character somewhere you just need the right settings and some fine timing to bring it out.
Will it be the Focker's precisely, nah, I doubt it, but it should be fun....everywhere is fun if I'm with my spouse:)
No, we meet a nice family with a lot of diverse friends who make their home open to family, friends, their children's friends, family dogs, friends dogs & all were welcomed to share a day in their two graduating daughter's lives.
Wisdom, and the bottom line.
Age brings some wisdom with it. Different events play out and somewhere along the road what you give and merit changes.
The time growing as a child, hours of observations spent in those years, hours of chaos.
The pains of being a teen, surrounded by eccentric peers, watching it all play out, choosing a path.
The fierceness of young love, and all the plans and dreams that come with it, your first lesson in Murphy's Law.
The adventures of finding out who you will be in your work lives, and all the emerging that comes with it.
Rearing a family, cake walks, trials, tribulations, midway through the roller coaster ride you look down to see if you're belt is still hooked in.
The fierce love turns into camaraderie, partners in crime to the good times and the calamity that reigns in a household.
Troubles brew as family members and conflicts bring chaos, and torn opinions aplenty.
Damages take their toll. The abyss appears, plenty of darkness down there.
You take a hit, and start losing family, you meander through, and take another hit. You are orphaned.
You take enough time and thought so you start to find yourselves, maybe, you've all changed so much.
You find what was important becomes a side thought, the main importance are the remaining breathers.
Another one goes down, and it leaves us all raw, love that floated an entire segment turns to into not enough. By now you are middle aged or old in the youngsters eyes, you laugh off what you can, shake your head, and tend to what you can...what you have left and you probably don't do a good job at it, faltering in your goals or targets.
Your days at work give time for getting your sea legs back under you, a good routine helps to pass the time, draw your interest back into the world that passes us by too quickly.
You might settle back down to everything just being "enough".
You might go through economic shifts as part of your travels, you might begin to know full value you are back where you started, this too can rock you, it's not just your dreams that float out the window, it effects you all.
And on occasion you will be held accountable by someone, accountable for their altered picture, some speaking their words, or maybe not, but all the same thinking you could have done it better, could have made better choices.
And some would live their lives with that word "accountable" sitting on their back like one of those old style trunks used for treasure and just about as heavy a burden, "How many I told you, you should have done...." have I heard?
Well princess.....it's been a long life, a longer road than you can imagine, there were plenty of chaotic little items to try and sort and make into the best thing possible, don't go letting something trigger you into not knowing what is important, seeing that look as the trigger hits, and me I hardly believe it myself sometimes, but it was what it was one step at a time for all of those volumes of years, was I selfish, no. Do I look selfish, maybe but here put these shoes on, walk around awhile, see how long you can walk on water without going under?
So these days these eyes look out, still see the bottom line, and know it's all still worthwhile, at least for me it is.
But I am becoming tired.
The time growing as a child, hours of observations spent in those years, hours of chaos.
The pains of being a teen, surrounded by eccentric peers, watching it all play out, choosing a path.
The fierceness of young love, and all the plans and dreams that come with it, your first lesson in Murphy's Law.
The adventures of finding out who you will be in your work lives, and all the emerging that comes with it.
Rearing a family, cake walks, trials, tribulations, midway through the roller coaster ride you look down to see if you're belt is still hooked in.
The fierce love turns into camaraderie, partners in crime to the good times and the calamity that reigns in a household.
Troubles brew as family members and conflicts bring chaos, and torn opinions aplenty.
Damages take their toll. The abyss appears, plenty of darkness down there.
You take a hit, and start losing family, you meander through, and take another hit. You are orphaned.
You take enough time and thought so you start to find yourselves, maybe, you've all changed so much.
You find what was important becomes a side thought, the main importance are the remaining breathers.
Another one goes down, and it leaves us all raw, love that floated an entire segment turns to into not enough. By now you are middle aged or old in the youngsters eyes, you laugh off what you can, shake your head, and tend to what you can...what you have left and you probably don't do a good job at it, faltering in your goals or targets.
Your days at work give time for getting your sea legs back under you, a good routine helps to pass the time, draw your interest back into the world that passes us by too quickly.
You might settle back down to everything just being "enough".
You might go through economic shifts as part of your travels, you might begin to know full value you are back where you started, this too can rock you, it's not just your dreams that float out the window, it effects you all.
And on occasion you will be held accountable by someone, accountable for their altered picture, some speaking their words, or maybe not, but all the same thinking you could have done it better, could have made better choices.
And some would live their lives with that word "accountable" sitting on their back like one of those old style trunks used for treasure and just about as heavy a burden, "How many I told you, you should have done...." have I heard?
Well princess.....it's been a long life, a longer road than you can imagine, there were plenty of chaotic little items to try and sort and make into the best thing possible, don't go letting something trigger you into not knowing what is important, seeing that look as the trigger hits, and me I hardly believe it myself sometimes, but it was what it was one step at a time for all of those volumes of years, was I selfish, no. Do I look selfish, maybe but here put these shoes on, walk around awhile, see how long you can walk on water without going under?
So these days these eyes look out, still see the bottom line, and know it's all still worthwhile, at least for me it is.
But I am becoming tired.
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