"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Nothing to see here today, the sky is gray with clouds, promising rain, but somewhere else it is shining, in someone else's sky.
What makes one make weak of character, and another strong? What leads one person, to be able to make a decision and stick with it, and another to flip flop so constantly?
Now throw in some marriages, we all have a partner in crime. siblings, spouses, some decisive, some not, some chaotic, some try to juggle it and come up with balance of purpose or purpose of balance. The child watches it all, oh hell no it was the shadow watching, the shadow protects the child, oh Jacky boy you're so good here, lol.
I try to understand each man point of view and value, in spite of my own humble conclusions. I think I will never understand setting out with direction, and then totally losing it, or talking ones self out of things constantly. You're either going east or you're going west, it's that simple to me.
I am asked point blank if I am angry, all I could muster was a gutteral "hrrrmmmmm" ., to which he says:
" oooh you are angry!" Well black was the color my brain was seeing, I slap my brain and say: "Everyone has to do what's best for them". Dear sunshine how many times have ever said that diddley in your life?
And so some fun was had, some words expressed, some futures looked to, and then dashed, slammed and locked behind the futures door. All plans were dropped. When are "we" ever enough for the next person?
The whole time I have this fantastic best friend who stands with me, behind me, and next to me, cattle prodding me with realities, mine, ours, everyone's, he does well bringing perspective of who we all are, what each of us allows to shape, he's seldom failed me, and constantly amazes me by living up to what I need in my life. How did I get so lucky to have someone who would accept my very human reactions to what evolves around me, and why does he keep me?
Very lucky. The shadow walked in front of the child for a while giving shelter, and the woman slowly came back out into the sunlight.
We all walk through our days together knowing we're not quite alone in it. When one is weak, another is strong, that with time and care we can survive it all, enjoying all the great days in between. The Good outweighs the Bad, and Forgiveness walks hand in hand with Love, doesn't it?
Friday, May 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
A sibling re-union
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Have taken a couple of vacation days, no regrets. Was running tired from the last few years, and sometime we all need a chance to just be ourselves, without an of the roles life has us playing.
My one brother had us out to his home on Sunday, a family get together my Cali brother in for a visit with his wife, some catching up done, a nice day with contributions made by all the nieces and nephews, originally cousins close enough in age to still be able to truly enjoy seeing each other, and they bring plenty of smiles to us oldsters. I'm guessing we're happy they stayed tight, and can relate to each others paths so well, always encouraging the other.
And the rest of us are just glad we all were able to have the day together, see each others familiar faces even with a few new hair colors and lines thrown in, like yo-yo's we go up and down in weight as have a chance every few years to see each other.
For my brothers and I we know for certain where we came from, where we wandered off to, and now we live in the present day, wishing each other more!
We have grudges of old, we buried our hatchets, it was our way, we value any upcoming times.
My niece was in tune, she grabbed a camera, and clicked, only regretting later that she didn't get everyone in some photo's, she concentrated on my old core group, and though rapid age progression has ensued, we are still the same siblings, one regretting he moved away at all, one with a sweet smile proud I think that his daughter remembered a photo op, and me with of course the frickn child stealing in laughing but close to tears.
A nice day Sunday, a day of smiles.
Yesterday I spent the day with my oldest sibling, it was a valuable day, we maxed it, a ton of conversation and emotion, two trips to the city as I drove us from one world to the next, again no regrets of spending the day with him.
Some animated conversation earlier at my house for a totally ad-libed visit that turned into our Monday nite beef sandwich dinner, usually a time to catch up with our son, conversation flowed about my sons days at the special education school, he expresses al ot of warmth for the children, and see a little genius in each one. Eventually we got onto our favorite auto's ever possessed and my brothers was his baby blue benz of our younger day, my son's is his current ride a 2003 Ford Lightning he cherishes, mine was a 71 Ford Torino I had years back. And then Rick,
After taking my brother back into Chicago's Hotel of choice, I drove back home at top speed, tired but hoping my spouse would still be up just to sit with him awhile, and to my surprise he was, me happy to be back just chilling with my friend back in my own roost.
“Every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.”
― Charles Dickens
My one brother had us out to his home on Sunday, a family get together my Cali brother in for a visit with his wife, some catching up done, a nice day with contributions made by all the nieces and nephews, originally cousins close enough in age to still be able to truly enjoy seeing each other, and they bring plenty of smiles to us oldsters. I'm guessing we're happy they stayed tight, and can relate to each others paths so well, always encouraging the other.
And the rest of us are just glad we all were able to have the day together, see each others familiar faces even with a few new hair colors and lines thrown in, like yo-yo's we go up and down in weight as have a chance every few years to see each other.
For my brothers and I we know for certain where we came from, where we wandered off to, and now we live in the present day, wishing each other more!
We have grudges of old, we buried our hatchets, it was our way, we value any upcoming times.
My niece was in tune, she grabbed a camera, and clicked, only regretting later that she didn't get everyone in some photo's, she concentrated on my old core group, and though rapid age progression has ensued, we are still the same siblings, one regretting he moved away at all, one with a sweet smile proud I think that his daughter remembered a photo op, and me with of course the frickn child stealing in laughing but close to tears.
A nice day Sunday, a day of smiles.
Yesterday I spent the day with my oldest sibling, it was a valuable day, we maxed it, a ton of conversation and emotion, two trips to the city as I drove us from one world to the next, again no regrets of spending the day with him.
Some animated conversation earlier at my house for a totally ad-libed visit that turned into our Monday nite beef sandwich dinner, usually a time to catch up with our son, conversation flowed about my sons days at the special education school, he expresses al ot of warmth for the children, and see a little genius in each one. Eventually we got onto our favorite auto's ever possessed and my brothers was his baby blue benz of our younger day, my son's is his current ride a 2003 Ford Lightning he cherishes, mine was a 71 Ford Torino I had years back. And then Rick,
After taking my brother back into Chicago's Hotel of choice, I drove back home at top speed, tired but hoping my spouse would still be up just to sit with him awhile, and to my surprise he was, me happy to be back just chilling with my friend back in my own roost.
“Every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.”
― Charles Dickens
Sunday, April 28, 2013
A visit with my side of the family
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" My oldest brother from California is in for a visit along with his wife, a week of house hunting, and catching up with family and friends, she was born here, too.
She loves California more than him, he wants to come back home now. She loves the California weather, but has an aging auntie here, who needs more helping as time goes by. The auntie has turned mean, and threatens her niece with the family wealth, makes it more of a challenge, so house hunting they go in the land of Lincoln.
Today is our family gathering, a couple of years since the last one already, my mother's daughter is so looking forward to this that some 5 hours too early I am showered, dressed and ready for the day, and yes I can still laugh at myself if I want to, people never believe when I tell them the child lives on inside me, but it all too true. My non-smoker brother will host the event, mostly due to his young grandson, and toys and known terrain bringing comfort to one so young, and we love this boy, and love watching grow, he's very good natured and loves his little world of exploring.
And me, I'll be happy to see them all, so many things to get caught on, things a phone just can't accomplish as well. Some leisure time on a sunday that promises 60 degree weather.
A day in the life of sunshine <3 p="">
She loves California more than him, he wants to come back home now. She loves the California weather, but has an aging auntie here, who needs more helping as time goes by. The auntie has turned mean, and threatens her niece with the family wealth, makes it more of a challenge, so house hunting they go in the land of Lincoln.
Today is our family gathering, a couple of years since the last one already, my mother's daughter is so looking forward to this that some 5 hours too early I am showered, dressed and ready for the day, and yes I can still laugh at myself if I want to, people never believe when I tell them the child lives on inside me, but it all too true. My non-smoker brother will host the event, mostly due to his young grandson, and toys and known terrain bringing comfort to one so young, and we love this boy, and love watching grow, he's very good natured and loves his little world of exploring.
And me, I'll be happy to see them all, so many things to get caught on, things a phone just can't accomplish as well. Some leisure time on a sunday that promises 60 degree weather.
A day in the life of sunshine <3 p="">
Richmond
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" So many reasons why this blog is named this way, not related, inter-related, musically related, and a sprinkling of memories.
Standing in N.Richmond's Kitchen, my (first home) green stucco house, no more than 3, looking up at Ma washing dishes, man I loved that kitchen with it's Birch Cabinets, Silver handles for ease of opening, counter tops black, white kitchen table with a red trim, red kitchen chairs to match, it was a child's haven, that kitchen was. And my dog Beauty, a great friend, she always defended me, usually you didn't find one without the other, I was a puppy, too.
She'd just gotten a new album, " You are my sunshine" was playing and I fell in love with music.
My favorite part of childhood was Richmond, living on the 2nd floor, although we lived on the first floor twice, colder down there not as much warmth, I had my two brothers, 4 yrs and 6 yrs older than me, always someone to play with as long as you were into being a bit of a tom boy, baseball, cowboys, although I never did well when they got to football, I couldn't seem to understand the shaping of that ball.
Going to Quality Food Store I believe if my memory serves me further up North Avenue, when Doctor Pepper first came out they marketed it as a soft drink that could be served cold or hot, and the sample lady was there to serve it.
And all the people we met on our walks to the stores, and some became friends through those years.
Walking home through alleys at times known as shortcuts, we did encounter a neighbors dog that escaped, and it had always been a mean dog, it came for me growling, and it was the only time you'd see my mother hit an animal with her purse, so many times the dog retreated back, my mother loved animals but she did not love their owners when they trained them to be mean.
To me the alley always smelled funny, which must be where the word rank came from. Sometimes the boys played a short game of catch there before supper time.
The whoola hoop came out while we still lived there, the boys had the big one and I had a little one, fun. And still a mystery why kids can do that so well and for so long, and adults can't. Amazing.
Once a week we'd go at night with Dad in the car and shop for groceries for my Grandpa John and his 2nd wife whom we were to call Aunt Jule, Aunt Jule had never liked my mother but she depended on her to help them with groceries and medical needs, but she didn't have many kind bones in her. She sat at her kitchen table giving commands to the rest of us, but mostly to my mother. I loved my Grandpa big time, and always enjoyed seeing him but Jule was almost always crabby with us, and "you must sit quietly and don't touch that" were standard phrases that would follow us when we visited. She never had children of her own and was no way-no how Grandmother material, so I guess I never really had one, Dad's side was already gone as well as my maternal grandmother.
Every once in awhile we'd go out to eat at Father & Sons Pizza, or at a restaurant called S & L's, but mostly Mom cooked. Frankie forced to eat his carrots, darn I hated that why did we have to have them? And at that time I didn't like Pea Balls, so the cool part ways the table had a drawer in it, a drawer no one ever used.
When I was twelve or so Dad did tell me he had found the peas eventually long after we moved to McVicker Ave. Dad was always intriguing he guarded many a secret never telling my mom, I've always wondered why he was so loyal. I've wondered what his childhood was like, he was the youngest, too. And so was Ma, yep I've wondered.
One summer Kool Aid came out, Ma had a real neat pitcher with matching glasses, and I remembered summer days with that a treat after we cooled off playing in a child's pool. And we lucked out our best friends at the time lived next door to us on the same floor, so even if it rained we could be out on the roof porch and still be talking back and forth.
We had some very strange tenants throughout those years, Mom and Dad grew weary painting and repainting, and fixing whatever they'd mess up, the neighborhood started to change rather quickly from grown up speaks, so we went house hunting for what seemed FOREVER, long days out in a car, no air conditioning at the time, 3 children in the back seat which resulted in pinching, slapping or biting wars, until Dad would pull the car to the side of the road and threaten us with what would happen if we didn't stop.
They found it. We moved. Chapter 1 closed.
Standing in N.Richmond's Kitchen, my (first home) green stucco house, no more than 3, looking up at Ma washing dishes, man I loved that kitchen with it's Birch Cabinets, Silver handles for ease of opening, counter tops black, white kitchen table with a red trim, red kitchen chairs to match, it was a child's haven, that kitchen was. And my dog Beauty, a great friend, she always defended me, usually you didn't find one without the other, I was a puppy, too.
She'd just gotten a new album, " You are my sunshine" was playing and I fell in love with music.
My favorite part of childhood was Richmond, living on the 2nd floor, although we lived on the first floor twice, colder down there not as much warmth, I had my two brothers, 4 yrs and 6 yrs older than me, always someone to play with as long as you were into being a bit of a tom boy, baseball, cowboys, although I never did well when they got to football, I couldn't seem to understand the shaping of that ball.
Going to Quality Food Store I believe if my memory serves me further up North Avenue, when Doctor Pepper first came out they marketed it as a soft drink that could be served cold or hot, and the sample lady was there to serve it.
And all the people we met on our walks to the stores, and some became friends through those years.
Walking home through alleys at times known as shortcuts, we did encounter a neighbors dog that escaped, and it had always been a mean dog, it came for me growling, and it was the only time you'd see my mother hit an animal with her purse, so many times the dog retreated back, my mother loved animals but she did not love their owners when they trained them to be mean.
To me the alley always smelled funny, which must be where the word rank came from. Sometimes the boys played a short game of catch there before supper time.
The whoola hoop came out while we still lived there, the boys had the big one and I had a little one, fun. And still a mystery why kids can do that so well and for so long, and adults can't. Amazing.
Once a week we'd go at night with Dad in the car and shop for groceries for my Grandpa John and his 2nd wife whom we were to call Aunt Jule, Aunt Jule had never liked my mother but she depended on her to help them with groceries and medical needs, but she didn't have many kind bones in her. She sat at her kitchen table giving commands to the rest of us, but mostly to my mother. I loved my Grandpa big time, and always enjoyed seeing him but Jule was almost always crabby with us, and "you must sit quietly and don't touch that" were standard phrases that would follow us when we visited. She never had children of her own and was no way-no how Grandmother material, so I guess I never really had one, Dad's side was already gone as well as my maternal grandmother.
Every once in awhile we'd go out to eat at Father & Sons Pizza, or at a restaurant called S & L's, but mostly Mom cooked. Frankie forced to eat his carrots, darn I hated that why did we have to have them? And at that time I didn't like Pea Balls, so the cool part ways the table had a drawer in it, a drawer no one ever used.
When I was twelve or so Dad did tell me he had found the peas eventually long after we moved to McVicker Ave. Dad was always intriguing he guarded many a secret never telling my mom, I've always wondered why he was so loyal. I've wondered what his childhood was like, he was the youngest, too. And so was Ma, yep I've wondered.
One summer Kool Aid came out, Ma had a real neat pitcher with matching glasses, and I remembered summer days with that a treat after we cooled off playing in a child's pool. And we lucked out our best friends at the time lived next door to us on the same floor, so even if it rained we could be out on the roof porch and still be talking back and forth.
We had some very strange tenants throughout those years, Mom and Dad grew weary painting and repainting, and fixing whatever they'd mess up, the neighborhood started to change rather quickly from grown up speaks, so we went house hunting for what seemed FOREVER, long days out in a car, no air conditioning at the time, 3 children in the back seat which resulted in pinching, slapping or biting wars, until Dad would pull the car to the side of the road and threaten us with what would happen if we didn't stop.
They found it. We moved. Chapter 1 closed.
Friday, April 26, 2013
A Spring Dream, some of my peeps
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" So many ways to see it, she muses.
Wednesday nite & last nite had same dream Mike, My Ma & My Dad, too funny:
I see my Ma, Mike & my Dad standing together by a bunch of yellow spring flowers, I said "Hi guys what you doing here?" They smile at eachother, and they say "we’re not there, you’re here," and sort of give me sweet sad little smiles and watch me to see how I’ll take the news. I wake up both nights it's midnight exactly.
I can’t get it out my back burner mind ever since, don’t know if pre-cog or some other fine border lined meaning. Smiling though. Best case scenerio, maybe the borders on as dense as I thought they were.
Maybe it's tied to a family re-union on my side this weekend, a recent worry and scare hopefully lifting,
maybe it's simply just to re-enforse a lesson to cherish what you have, I have two brothers and a couple of years since we last met up together, and possibly that both sides of the line hold merit and value of their own. I wasn't scared when I saw them, I wasn't unhappy at all, I just felt warmth and light at seeing some people I loved very much, it was so good to see them all together, they were fine, too.
I always tell this blog, noone knows what's in this noggin, when I'm smiling. Love you guys
Wednesday nite & last nite had same dream Mike, My Ma & My Dad, too funny:
I see my Ma, Mike & my Dad standing together by a bunch of yellow spring flowers, I said "Hi guys what you doing here?" They smile at eachother, and they say "we’re not there, you’re here," and sort of give me sweet sad little smiles and watch me to see how I’ll take the news. I wake up both nights it's midnight exactly.
I can’t get it out my back burner mind ever since, don’t know if pre-cog or some other fine border lined meaning. Smiling though. Best case scenerio, maybe the borders on as dense as I thought they were.
Maybe it's tied to a family re-union on my side this weekend, a recent worry and scare hopefully lifting,
maybe it's simply just to re-enforse a lesson to cherish what you have, I have two brothers and a couple of years since we last met up together, and possibly that both sides of the line hold merit and value of their own. I wasn't scared when I saw them, I wasn't unhappy at all, I just felt warmth and light at seeing some people I loved very much, it was so good to see them all together, they were fine, too.
I always tell this blog, noone knows what's in this noggin, when I'm smiling. Love you guys
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The Rains, The Floods & The Dog Rescue Mission
Sometimes it's with much pride and humor, that I watch one of my sisters, who lives for her children, map out here time frames week to week on which one she's going to visit, which one she's going to help. A young grandchild needs babysitting she's their girl, birthday parties she's there helping, I love her to death and she's always in the thick of it, week to week, month to month.
And that is good, it is how she loves to spend her free time, and her children do appreciate her and love her well, she one mom who would always be there for her children despite their ages.
So this weeks adventure that I have seen some beauty involved her babysitting her daughter's dog, while her daughter was on a business trip to the west coast, "simple, simple, I'll just stay there all week, and drive into work each morning", she observes. "It's a long ride my husband tells her, bring the dog and stay with us". Nope. She'll stay at her daughters place, wouldn't want to make it hard on the dog, lol.
And that worked until we got the very heavy rains this week.
And it rained.
And rained.
And flooded.
Then horribly flooded.
She tries to find a good way there after work, rush hour worsened, so many roads flooded, so many roads closed, she's later but she finally gets there to her daughter's complex. Police are at the entrance, front and back entrances, all closed.
They won't let the residence back in, the entire subdivision is under water including the bridge leading in. The powers out also and they've no idea when it will restore. She asks if she find a different place for her car if she can walk in, but they won't allow it for her own safety of water up to her waist or thighs in some places might take her under in other land contours.
Poor Dog, no going for it's walk, no food, no heat, no light. Poor Dog. Poor daughter when she finds out her dog is stranded.
24 hours pass, you know what they say, what a difference a day makes, she tries again, this time taking more family with for the possible rescue, had to be grueling by the descriptions, but she's got the dog, and she's keeping him safe with her at her sons house.
She's happy, her daughter's happy, her son's happy probably because they'll bugging him about the dog, his little girls allergic to dogs, but they'll get by for the few days until her daughter returns.
I laugh with her, I laugh at her, but for a female she remains one of my hero's. Wink, Wink.
And that is good, it is how she loves to spend her free time, and her children do appreciate her and love her well, she one mom who would always be there for her children despite their ages.
So this weeks adventure that I have seen some beauty involved her babysitting her daughter's dog, while her daughter was on a business trip to the west coast, "simple, simple, I'll just stay there all week, and drive into work each morning", she observes. "It's a long ride my husband tells her, bring the dog and stay with us". Nope. She'll stay at her daughters place, wouldn't want to make it hard on the dog, lol.
And that worked until we got the very heavy rains this week.
And it rained.
And rained.
And flooded.
Then horribly flooded.
She tries to find a good way there after work, rush hour worsened, so many roads flooded, so many roads closed, she's later but she finally gets there to her daughter's complex. Police are at the entrance, front and back entrances, all closed.
They won't let the residence back in, the entire subdivision is under water including the bridge leading in. The powers out also and they've no idea when it will restore. She asks if she find a different place for her car if she can walk in, but they won't allow it for her own safety of water up to her waist or thighs in some places might take her under in other land contours.
Poor Dog, no going for it's walk, no food, no heat, no light. Poor Dog. Poor daughter when she finds out her dog is stranded.
24 hours pass, you know what they say, what a difference a day makes, she tries again, this time taking more family with for the possible rescue, had to be grueling by the descriptions, but she's got the dog, and she's keeping him safe with her at her sons house.
She's happy, her daughter's happy, her son's happy probably because they'll bugging him about the dog, his little girls allergic to dogs, but they'll get by for the few days until her daughter returns.
I laugh with her, I laugh at her, but for a female she remains one of my hero's. Wink, Wink.
What was the point?
Simple things, simple thoughts. And every once in awhile some mad men loom unknown, unseen, this time unnoticed to simple Marathon Participants, this one held yearly in Boston, MA., aka: The Boston Marathon.
My niece and nephew have participated in races or competitions similar to this but here in the Midwest, and this week some small measure of happiness for their locale.
The madmen set a couple of home made bombs in hidden places along the Marathon Route, what's your point, what is your point? When the bombs went off they kill several people, and they maimed over 170 people, now multiply that by all the friends and families affected. And gently add all the people and their families that have ever participated in any Marathons or even any sporting events, and you might be able to see where people everywhere were shocked by the event. And all of us ask ourselves "what would be the point of harming so many people who were simply participating in a marathon?"
On the scene there were people helping people, hero's of sorts who helped another in spite of not knowing if more bombs would go off, and end up injuring themselves, hung in there to make a bad thing a little better by their care.
And a huge investigation took place, potential suspects have been found, the people of the land rally this, and I understand their thoughts and feelings, no one likes to think of unknown evil lurking in their background, they feel better if they can see the evil.
And sometimes for me, all of dark things that occur out there, especially the crimes against other people who were simply going through their own day innocently, well these events still just make me ask "What was your point in doing this?"
My niece and nephew have participated in races or competitions similar to this but here in the Midwest, and this week some small measure of happiness for their locale.
The madmen set a couple of home made bombs in hidden places along the Marathon Route, what's your point, what is your point? When the bombs went off they kill several people, and they maimed over 170 people, now multiply that by all the friends and families affected. And gently add all the people and their families that have ever participated in any Marathons or even any sporting events, and you might be able to see where people everywhere were shocked by the event. And all of us ask ourselves "what would be the point of harming so many people who were simply participating in a marathon?"
On the scene there were people helping people, hero's of sorts who helped another in spite of not knowing if more bombs would go off, and end up injuring themselves, hung in there to make a bad thing a little better by their care.
And a huge investigation took place, potential suspects have been found, the people of the land rally this, and I understand their thoughts and feelings, no one likes to think of unknown evil lurking in their background, they feel better if they can see the evil.
And sometimes for me, all of dark things that occur out there, especially the crimes against other people who were simply going through their own day innocently, well these events still just make me ask "What was your point in doing this?"
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Not sweating the small stuff, it's all a stepping stone:
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Slight sunrise seen most days over house roof tops to my east, I could never describe all the thoughts that swirl.
I now 58 and my better half hits 60 this coming week, first thought each sunrise is I am glad we're both here, ironic since at days end I still have the same thought.
I think of our family, and of our families, and again feel the warmth of first light. We blessed, time, smiles, laughs, more. Back to "I wish you enough".
In a world where all types of cultures hold Gods, prayer, and methods in conflict, where a persons lifespan and events altered what they believed or to what extent they believed, I find I am totally well grounded in at the very least savoring the beauty I see with each days new start. Each an opportunity to get something furthered or in some cases corrected.
And then the clock keeps ticking.
Some humor emerges, I am without a doubt the same damn child I always was, peg board on the floor, hammer in hand that would occasionally miss and hit thy small fingers instead of the peg for which she aimed. And more fun to the mix was shapes of pegs I wanted in the slot, so in the words of the great Kurt Vonnegut " And so it goes".........
Much progress made can simultaneously equal no progress made, and the peg board of life goes on, so you never really know what makes a girl smile.
At times I watch our son, sort life out, oddly enough using his mother's processes instead of his better organized fathers, that would be too easy if he inherited all of his good qualities, instead he got too many of the woman genes, so after a spring break of sending out many, many resumes for potential teaching opportunities in his beloved High School ENGLISH, the very last day possible on this Earth, he signs up for the burden of more classes to obtain his endorsements in Special Ed, it is a course that will consume 1 week in June, and 2 weeks in August, for which the charming school charge $16,000 more which will have to go onto the student loan burden of life, thus the harshness of having made that particular decision for a young man with plenty of good dreams to yet be realized, who is already working two jobs these last two years trying to get the old student loans down SLOWLY...., plus he will have to take time off of work in order to achieve a goal that might make him realize a better future, but it is for now the best decision in an economic down-turned teaching market, hiring freezes, school closings have hit at a worst possible time for some. This one area of special education keeps growing and has much demand foreseeable well into the future.
And the lady of the house plays with the pegboard, trying to live up to the next IRS expectation, one would think an easy fix, but it is always a challenge, as there are plenty of other arenas that sponge up any small excess, and I'd guess in a perverse world with some perverse humor added, that could be a reason for some smiles to flash, that irony of the peg board is still with us, and the challenge of getting them hammered in as needed goes along following us like a shadow while we walk amongst the day.
We're here, families here, works here, and finally Spring is here, and I'll keep paying homage to each sunrise that is here, :)
I now 58 and my better half hits 60 this coming week, first thought each sunrise is I am glad we're both here, ironic since at days end I still have the same thought.
I think of our family, and of our families, and again feel the warmth of first light. We blessed, time, smiles, laughs, more. Back to "I wish you enough".
In a world where all types of cultures hold Gods, prayer, and methods in conflict, where a persons lifespan and events altered what they believed or to what extent they believed, I find I am totally well grounded in at the very least savoring the beauty I see with each days new start. Each an opportunity to get something furthered or in some cases corrected.
And then the clock keeps ticking.
Some humor emerges, I am without a doubt the same damn child I always was, peg board on the floor, hammer in hand that would occasionally miss and hit thy small fingers instead of the peg for which she aimed. And more fun to the mix was shapes of pegs I wanted in the slot, so in the words of the great Kurt Vonnegut " And so it goes".........
Much progress made can simultaneously equal no progress made, and the peg board of life goes on, so you never really know what makes a girl smile.
At times I watch our son, sort life out, oddly enough using his mother's processes instead of his better organized fathers, that would be too easy if he inherited all of his good qualities, instead he got too many of the woman genes, so after a spring break of sending out many, many resumes for potential teaching opportunities in his beloved High School ENGLISH, the very last day possible on this Earth, he signs up for the burden of more classes to obtain his endorsements in Special Ed, it is a course that will consume 1 week in June, and 2 weeks in August, for which the charming school charge $16,000 more which will have to go onto the student loan burden of life, thus the harshness of having made that particular decision for a young man with plenty of good dreams to yet be realized, who is already working two jobs these last two years trying to get the old student loans down SLOWLY...., plus he will have to take time off of work in order to achieve a goal that might make him realize a better future, but it is for now the best decision in an economic down-turned teaching market, hiring freezes, school closings have hit at a worst possible time for some. This one area of special education keeps growing and has much demand foreseeable well into the future.
And the lady of the house plays with the pegboard, trying to live up to the next IRS expectation, one would think an easy fix, but it is always a challenge, as there are plenty of other arenas that sponge up any small excess, and I'd guess in a perverse world with some perverse humor added, that could be a reason for some smiles to flash, that irony of the peg board is still with us, and the challenge of getting them hammered in as needed goes along following us like a shadow while we walk amongst the day.
We're here, families here, works here, and finally Spring is here, and I'll keep paying homage to each sunrise that is here, :)
Thursday, March 21, 2013
A week began at the office, and we're off at the races
My boss loves snow skiing, so off to Colorado he had gone for a week, second month in a row.
Mondays are generally brutal in part to everyone being off for the weekend, and really processing their mail, having the time to make a list of questions on their insurance related items. Anything from billing, past due bills for me to pay online by the skin of their teeth, calls to get late charges waived, new auto claims, new business claims, and all the calls I make that spin off of those, or emails to be sent out addressing an issue.
First draw on Monday was a businesses sink hole in their parking lot, start a claim, expedite it, as it caters to a bunch of crazed affluent women who keep moving the barricades, or once out and out ran them over, peat gravel put in as a temporary solution to a worsening collapse of a sewer, I laugh as I listen to the owner of the spa describe the chaos involving women.
Problem-ed health applications needing more complete information. Certificates of insurance to be issued for businesses so they can land a job, or get their payouts. Calls about increased premiums and people wanting it re-quoted. And of course a few referrals whereby you start from scratch taking down their history.
My boss keeps his laptop with on vacation so it's our main way of progressing on those weeks for the parts where he is a needed ingredient to the mix.
Pulling files, online research, it all consumes the time, and the day spins by, generally monday through wednesday is the busiest, allowing thursday and friday for catch up or remembering whatever little details you forgot to perform due to the intense pace.
His calls "How are you?", I laugh, "Insane".
And so it goes, his brother is an agent as well, so their is a second line of processing whatever items of his that he can't.
I know parts of me love the job, sometimes people talk at you in ways that shouldn't play out, they go too far with words, my main happiness comes from really helping someone who is an underdog, some needing payments stretch out because they've hit a difficult time frame, some calling in due to a loss or illness in the family, so ironic they are the gentlest of souls, compared to the "I wants", and here the gentle ones need kindness the most.
Today is thursday and I get to do all of things I back burnered or nearly forgot, but somehow managed to remember them all last night when my brain decided to wake me up and share:)
And these are some more Days in the Life of Sunshine......
Mondays are generally brutal in part to everyone being off for the weekend, and really processing their mail, having the time to make a list of questions on their insurance related items. Anything from billing, past due bills for me to pay online by the skin of their teeth, calls to get late charges waived, new auto claims, new business claims, and all the calls I make that spin off of those, or emails to be sent out addressing an issue.
First draw on Monday was a businesses sink hole in their parking lot, start a claim, expedite it, as it caters to a bunch of crazed affluent women who keep moving the barricades, or once out and out ran them over, peat gravel put in as a temporary solution to a worsening collapse of a sewer, I laugh as I listen to the owner of the spa describe the chaos involving women.
Problem-ed health applications needing more complete information. Certificates of insurance to be issued for businesses so they can land a job, or get their payouts. Calls about increased premiums and people wanting it re-quoted. And of course a few referrals whereby you start from scratch taking down their history.
My boss keeps his laptop with on vacation so it's our main way of progressing on those weeks for the parts where he is a needed ingredient to the mix.
Pulling files, online research, it all consumes the time, and the day spins by, generally monday through wednesday is the busiest, allowing thursday and friday for catch up or remembering whatever little details you forgot to perform due to the intense pace.
His calls "How are you?", I laugh, "Insane".
And so it goes, his brother is an agent as well, so their is a second line of processing whatever items of his that he can't.
I know parts of me love the job, sometimes people talk at you in ways that shouldn't play out, they go too far with words, my main happiness comes from really helping someone who is an underdog, some needing payments stretch out because they've hit a difficult time frame, some calling in due to a loss or illness in the family, so ironic they are the gentlest of souls, compared to the "I wants", and here the gentle ones need kindness the most.
Today is thursday and I get to do all of things I back burnered or nearly forgot, but somehow managed to remember them all last night when my brain decided to wake me up and share:)
And these are some more Days in the Life of Sunshine......
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The simple truth is the truth is simple
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" From start to finish?: Daytona Beach April of 1999
4:30 am on the beach with coffee mug in hand (damn it was cold and windy), a friend through real estate next to me bitching about how cold it was, and Justin & Oz out ahead of us anticipated if I was crazy or if this would a wonderful thing to see. They used their time carving invites out of the wet sand with their shoes for their girlfriends and a future prom about a month out, and by the time a hint of days first light glimmered on the far horizon, they had photographed their invites so the tide water wouldn't erase them from the wet sand.
Pitch black, and that small dot of orange. And into a warm glow turning the sky from black to blue.
Until it turns brilliant orange, brilliant blue, bringing instant warmth with it, sea gulls and sandpipers the first creatures to arrive.
Nothing besides a child's birth is as awesome as the birth of a day.
I watch the news I see and hear lies, I see and hear the twists of the truth. Any news media brings this in the present day.
I spend a fair amount of my day on the phone, I hear more bullshit than a bull-cow could pass in a year, generally by tuesday of each week, as monday and tuesday are the heaviest phone days.
In fact occasionally someone will call me and tell the absolute truth about an accident for a claim, or what really overflowed water onto the floor so that it drowned a condo under them, and hearing the truth finally I have adjust my thinking and own perceptions prior to dealing with the claims adjuster who will decide their fate. My own inner child smiling when the kid on the phone fessed up to me and the policeman who wrote the accident report that he "had been texting on his cell phone and that was why he didn't know to stop his car & thereby hit the car in front of him who had stopped at the RED LIGHT" ;)
I encounter acquaintances, friends and family, and hear the same slant from the same people, never the simple truth, always a twist, always negative and false bullshit spouted to build up their own world with little regard to who they slander in the process, and I have seen it ruin relationships that should have mattered way more.
I am almost 60, I remember Grandpa's story about "truth being a rubber band", I watch people's eyes as they speak to me, and the eyes still tell me quite a lot, as the words flow out, my own tolerance seems to diminish to the point where I could and would like to grab them and shake them until the got the drift to stop bullshitting me, I don't do that yet, but damn would I like to.
So some simple truths: Whatever time is left in our world counts. If you love me or like me, great, if you don't stay the hell out of my life as much as possible, if you're a born bullshitter, spare me any conversations.
4:30 am on the beach with coffee mug in hand (damn it was cold and windy), a friend through real estate next to me bitching about how cold it was, and Justin & Oz out ahead of us anticipated if I was crazy or if this would a wonderful thing to see. They used their time carving invites out of the wet sand with their shoes for their girlfriends and a future prom about a month out, and by the time a hint of days first light glimmered on the far horizon, they had photographed their invites so the tide water wouldn't erase them from the wet sand.
Pitch black, and that small dot of orange. And into a warm glow turning the sky from black to blue.
Until it turns brilliant orange, brilliant blue, bringing instant warmth with it, sea gulls and sandpipers the first creatures to arrive.
Nothing besides a child's birth is as awesome as the birth of a day.
I watch the news I see and hear lies, I see and hear the twists of the truth. Any news media brings this in the present day.
I spend a fair amount of my day on the phone, I hear more bullshit than a bull-cow could pass in a year, generally by tuesday of each week, as monday and tuesday are the heaviest phone days.
In fact occasionally someone will call me and tell the absolute truth about an accident for a claim, or what really overflowed water onto the floor so that it drowned a condo under them, and hearing the truth finally I have adjust my thinking and own perceptions prior to dealing with the claims adjuster who will decide their fate. My own inner child smiling when the kid on the phone fessed up to me and the policeman who wrote the accident report that he "had been texting on his cell phone and that was why he didn't know to stop his car & thereby hit the car in front of him who had stopped at the RED LIGHT" ;)
I encounter acquaintances, friends and family, and hear the same slant from the same people, never the simple truth, always a twist, always negative and false bullshit spouted to build up their own world with little regard to who they slander in the process, and I have seen it ruin relationships that should have mattered way more.
I am almost 60, I remember Grandpa's story about "truth being a rubber band", I watch people's eyes as they speak to me, and the eyes still tell me quite a lot, as the words flow out, my own tolerance seems to diminish to the point where I could and would like to grab them and shake them until the got the drift to stop bullshitting me, I don't do that yet, but damn would I like to.
So some simple truths: Whatever time is left in our world counts. If you love me or like me, great, if you don't stay the hell out of my life as much as possible, if you're a born bullshitter, spare me any conversations.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
An interesting find, the Pisces
There are friendships and acquaintances as we go through our lives, all with valuable lessons, sifting the ingredients and being able to tell which is which, some become shallower in their definitions, and others shine and become more.
Laughingly I do believe in Astrology to many extents, and if you studied it to some degree you would be able to see the humor in all of us, and the beauty within us all, regardless of proportioned amounts of each.
With friendships coming in all shapes and sizes, one mans intelligence over the sharpness of another observation powers, it still comes out rather equal for a gentle balance needed by this particular ray of sunshine.
So I will touch on Pisces a skosh, symbolized by two fish 1 swimming left, 1 swimming right, one of the greatest symbols of them all, indecision, saying firmly one thing, but when left to their own space always doing the opposite, they can make you crazy with stories to disguise their own bottom heart felt feelings, and hide their injuries, not wanting someone to know how hurt they are, layers of camouflage thrown over it, so that they probably aren't even certain what they feel at times. They can be maddening. Yet you couldn't ask for a better friend than a Pisces.
My old dinner companion of years back, just enjoying music, dinner and dancing to some oldies. How many times we pushed ourselves to go, and yet always had a great evening. We passed 10 years of fridays like that.
My one sister via law of the land, was a gentle humorous companion to me during my own Mom's hospice, and a dependable shift nurse, I was always glad she wasn't here that final afternoon, I don't think her spirit could of stayed the same.
And my other sister via law also, originally arch enemies, years in we sat up all night on the phone and compared our growing years and stories of parallels bonded us, never knowing how many crazy links would keep creeping in, in all honesty there is no better friend a person could want than this woman of heart. Sad to say she would jump into any dung pile with me as long as I coaxed her with a smile or a laugh.
My Pisces ladies have all been of heart, and at times they enjoy things enough to swim in just one direction, mine.
Happy Birthday ladies.
Laughingly I do believe in Astrology to many extents, and if you studied it to some degree you would be able to see the humor in all of us, and the beauty within us all, regardless of proportioned amounts of each.
With friendships coming in all shapes and sizes, one mans intelligence over the sharpness of another observation powers, it still comes out rather equal for a gentle balance needed by this particular ray of sunshine.
So I will touch on Pisces a skosh, symbolized by two fish 1 swimming left, 1 swimming right, one of the greatest symbols of them all, indecision, saying firmly one thing, but when left to their own space always doing the opposite, they can make you crazy with stories to disguise their own bottom heart felt feelings, and hide their injuries, not wanting someone to know how hurt they are, layers of camouflage thrown over it, so that they probably aren't even certain what they feel at times. They can be maddening. Yet you couldn't ask for a better friend than a Pisces.
My old dinner companion of years back, just enjoying music, dinner and dancing to some oldies. How many times we pushed ourselves to go, and yet always had a great evening. We passed 10 years of fridays like that.
My one sister via law of the land, was a gentle humorous companion to me during my own Mom's hospice, and a dependable shift nurse, I was always glad she wasn't here that final afternoon, I don't think her spirit could of stayed the same.
And my other sister via law also, originally arch enemies, years in we sat up all night on the phone and compared our growing years and stories of parallels bonded us, never knowing how many crazy links would keep creeping in, in all honesty there is no better friend a person could want than this woman of heart. Sad to say she would jump into any dung pile with me as long as I coaxed her with a smile or a laugh.
My Pisces ladies have all been of heart, and at times they enjoy things enough to swim in just one direction, mine.
Happy Birthday ladies.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Into the light
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?"
Daylight Savings Time, it'll save me. I am not one for hours of darkness, I am a creature of the light and sun light, and so today the farmers may feel they're getting better hours to begin the long labor of another crop year, but I am truly happy and thankful for this extra light shed on a day, a host of days actually.
It is the reason why rebirth is connected with spring, and the process of trees and flowers coming back to life from that long dormancy we call Winter.
What will it bring, I've no clue beyond beauty and grace of lighter & warmer days.
I simply look forward to enjoying all that I will be able to see in that extra time given by the proverbial clock.
Daylight Savings Time, it'll save me. I am not one for hours of darkness, I am a creature of the light and sun light, and so today the farmers may feel they're getting better hours to begin the long labor of another crop year, but I am truly happy and thankful for this extra light shed on a day, a host of days actually.
It is the reason why rebirth is connected with spring, and the process of trees and flowers coming back to life from that long dormancy we call Winter.
What will it bring, I've no clue beyond beauty and grace of lighter & warmer days.
I simply look forward to enjoying all that I will be able to see in that extra time given by the proverbial clock.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
The back burner of the brain keeps burning
All the those drives to work, multiple layers of thinking going on at one time or another as we journey, plotting what chores you can run on your lunch hour, or will it be a day where you dash home to start a crockpot beef roast or stew? Or waiting for forms so you can kill it off with the accountant for another year?
Maybe you flit through the thought that your son is 30 now, your were 28 when you birthed him, as your own mother was 28 when she birthed you, and Oh my God, it occurs to you that you are now as old as she was when he was two years old and you watched her play her Grandma role, this reality is such a shock for some reason, you laugh at yourself as you let it sink in that Lordy, Lordy you have used up for certain 2/3rd's of your life at the very best, and probably more. Our mortality rate monitor has turned on again.
A brother in law you've known for years drops in for a visit one night, as you sit there, you remember other times, other visits, back and forth we all went, somehow you remember enough to envision how we all looked at that time, as opposed to the now, somehow this must have added to the minds own back burner and brought all of this forward to your attention.
I try hard to never to things for granted, but I must have slipped into myself so mush I truly didn't realize where the years had transported us all, it's a funny type of comfort zone we slip into our daily life, the weeks fly by, as do the months, and whala another year passes by.
Somehow we need to make the time to savor it a bit more as it plays out. "Time waits for no man"
Maybe you flit through the thought that your son is 30 now, your were 28 when you birthed him, as your own mother was 28 when she birthed you, and Oh my God, it occurs to you that you are now as old as she was when he was two years old and you watched her play her Grandma role, this reality is such a shock for some reason, you laugh at yourself as you let it sink in that Lordy, Lordy you have used up for certain 2/3rd's of your life at the very best, and probably more. Our mortality rate monitor has turned on again.
A brother in law you've known for years drops in for a visit one night, as you sit there, you remember other times, other visits, back and forth we all went, somehow you remember enough to envision how we all looked at that time, as opposed to the now, somehow this must have added to the minds own back burner and brought all of this forward to your attention.
I try hard to never to things for granted, but I must have slipped into myself so mush I truly didn't realize where the years had transported us all, it's a funny type of comfort zone we slip into our daily life, the weeks fly by, as do the months, and whala another year passes by.
Somehow we need to make the time to savor it a bit more as it plays out. "Time waits for no man"
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Last, first and middle
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" None could shine through this cloud dense winter morning sky, but I did look for it, as a child looks for the presents under the tree on Christmas Morning, ever hopeful.
This week I managed to fall off my own pedestal and commit what I felt was a near mortal sin of self betrayal and self loathing, a fall from grace, disgusting human at times, I betray my body and then my body turns around and betrays me. I reach a point where I don't always understand what drives me. I need to solve these.
A famous and well loved man once shed some light on it, sometimes I feel he knew humans very well:
“I wear the chain I forged in life....I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
I came off one week of trying to help a young man accomplish something that mattered to him, and in that time frame we were our old selves, talking, animated, and enjoying ourselves while doing paperwork no less, a funny parody was when he was little I dragged him with to my real estate office, and he's help me sort out my briefcase, and file away whatever needed filing, and help me get listings sorted for a showing of property that would take place later in the day or week. I hope his future is everything he'd like it to be, all parents would.
After that this week at work, a phone call came into one of our suite occupants, over the preceding weekend he'd been trying to find a young man, the son of one of his friends, who had also been his client, his friend was out of town thus the favor. Apparently the kid had been out at a party, last seen driving off and never made it back to his own apartment, so phone calls and searches were made, noda.
Somehow, he'd crashed his car, walked back to his own parents home, and planted himself in a running car in a closed garage.
The soul feels the injury of this and all that will echo out, so very young, more to the story, but one mistake in the here and now, one threat of a troubled time period that would ensued certainly should not have prompted this action. No matter what else isn't true, time does solve out many problems, but you have to think with a mind that seeks solutions, a mind that doesn't just see closed doors.
The phone was on speaker at that point, I could hear both men sobbing.
Another parent, out in the next room could feel their pain.
This week I managed to fall off my own pedestal and commit what I felt was a near mortal sin of self betrayal and self loathing, a fall from grace, disgusting human at times, I betray my body and then my body turns around and betrays me. I reach a point where I don't always understand what drives me. I need to solve these.
A famous and well loved man once shed some light on it, sometimes I feel he knew humans very well:
“I wear the chain I forged in life....I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
I came off one week of trying to help a young man accomplish something that mattered to him, and in that time frame we were our old selves, talking, animated, and enjoying ourselves while doing paperwork no less, a funny parody was when he was little I dragged him with to my real estate office, and he's help me sort out my briefcase, and file away whatever needed filing, and help me get listings sorted for a showing of property that would take place later in the day or week. I hope his future is everything he'd like it to be, all parents would.
After that this week at work, a phone call came into one of our suite occupants, over the preceding weekend he'd been trying to find a young man, the son of one of his friends, who had also been his client, his friend was out of town thus the favor. Apparently the kid had been out at a party, last seen driving off and never made it back to his own apartment, so phone calls and searches were made, noda.
Somehow, he'd crashed his car, walked back to his own parents home, and planted himself in a running car in a closed garage.
The soul feels the injury of this and all that will echo out, so very young, more to the story, but one mistake in the here and now, one threat of a troubled time period that would ensued certainly should not have prompted this action. No matter what else isn't true, time does solve out many problems, but you have to think with a mind that seeks solutions, a mind that doesn't just see closed doors.
The phone was on speaker at that point, I could hear both men sobbing.
Another parent, out in the next room could feel their pain.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Seems like a lifetime
Once and awhile a person is lucky enough to by chance meet up with someone who will inspire them, entice them, bring out the best they have within them, amuse them, and constantly amaze them as they travel on together.
Years ago I met a person who re-defined my life, I think we lucked out in knowing somehow that it was a good combination of temperaments, humor and some type of grace called care and love, I could never be able to say how very much this particular person means to me there seem to be no limits on what the heart or mind can feel.
Maybe through some light music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGnNQM_9q-w
Years ago I met a person who re-defined my life, I think we lucked out in knowing somehow that it was a good combination of temperaments, humor and some type of grace called care and love, I could never be able to say how very much this particular person means to me there seem to be no limits on what the heart or mind can feel.
Maybe through some light music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGnNQM_9q-w
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Observations via the State of Confusion: Illinois
I'm sure none of us born here, nor living here, nor working here can fully realize all the graft and corruptions that could possibly lead to a State without enough resources to function, but that is where Illinois has gotten to despite Taxes on products, special products with multiple taxes on it, a bar of soap being considered a luxury (WTF), taxes on property, toll systems established for light years on the expressway system, wages taxed, income re-taxed, so what do the citizens get?
Potholes that could easily blow out a tire, no sight of plows during a lovely rush hour drive home in freezing rain nor snow, driving home on expressways where the light timers were never changed for winter hours, same on the on & off ramps, and who is loading their pockets off of these citizen deprivations? Do we have salt, do we have gasoline to run the plow trucks? Better yet is the State Capital of Springfield lit up nightly like a Christmas Tree? Are people who acted as a government official for 2-6 years pulling a lifetime pension for it?
How many of our governors or staff members have been jailed versus how many of them have gotten away with crimes against the State?
But on a thursday or friday morning you will see 4-6 trucks out on 53's end zone, 2-3 men to a truck, like a bad polish joke (yes, I am part polish) 1 to drive each truck, 1 to talk to each guy driving the truck, and 1 with a garbage bag in his hand walking alongside the road picking up occasional trash sighted. How much does all that cost?
Would rather drive roads that lit or have roads that might get plowed in a storm?
And the State of Confusion is finally considered this week more broke than the State of California, some contest, and so the State of Confusion can't put humpty dumpty together again?
Below is an article in today's Chicago Tribune :
Illinois budget officials say the state will delay today's planned sale of $500 million in construction bonds after a recent credit downgrade.
A spokesman for Gov. Pat Quinn's budget office said the decision was made after conversations with potential bidders led officials "to believe the market is unsettled because of recent actions and comments made by the bond rating agencies."
It's unclear when the state would go back to the market or if the delay would impact the building schedule of a statewide public works program.
Last week, Standard and Poor's downgraded the state's credit rating from A to A-minus. The move means Illinois has the worst ranking of all 50 states, a distinction the state had already earned from Moody's. The ratings mean it could cost the state more to borrow money as investors seek higher interest rates.
The rating agencies blame the lack of action in Springfield on reforming the state's vastly underfunded public employee pension system. Quinn has been unsuccessfully pushing for changes for a year. The delay in bond sales could up the pressure on lawmakers to act sooner rather than later, particularly if it impacts construction of schools and roads in their districts.
House Republican leader Tom Cross of Oswego issued a statement about Quinn's move today.
"The administration's decision to pull the $500 million bond sale today is a clear indication that officials were concerned that we might pay too much in interest, in large part due to our awful credit rating. Our failure to pass meaningful pension reform, to pay down our large backlog of bills and to live within our means is contributing to this uncertainty in the markets for us," the statement read.
Potholes that could easily blow out a tire, no sight of plows during a lovely rush hour drive home in freezing rain nor snow, driving home on expressways where the light timers were never changed for winter hours, same on the on & off ramps, and who is loading their pockets off of these citizen deprivations? Do we have salt, do we have gasoline to run the plow trucks? Better yet is the State Capital of Springfield lit up nightly like a Christmas Tree? Are people who acted as a government official for 2-6 years pulling a lifetime pension for it?
How many of our governors or staff members have been jailed versus how many of them have gotten away with crimes against the State?
But on a thursday or friday morning you will see 4-6 trucks out on 53's end zone, 2-3 men to a truck, like a bad polish joke (yes, I am part polish) 1 to drive each truck, 1 to talk to each guy driving the truck, and 1 with a garbage bag in his hand walking alongside the road picking up occasional trash sighted. How much does all that cost?
Would rather drive roads that lit or have roads that might get plowed in a storm?
And the State of Confusion is finally considered this week more broke than the State of California, some contest, and so the State of Confusion can't put humpty dumpty together again?
Below is an article in today's Chicago Tribune :
Illinois budget officials say the state will delay today's planned sale of $500 million in construction bonds after a recent credit downgrade.
A spokesman for Gov. Pat Quinn's budget office said the decision was made after conversations with potential bidders led officials "to believe the market is unsettled because of recent actions and comments made by the bond rating agencies."
It's unclear when the state would go back to the market or if the delay would impact the building schedule of a statewide public works program.
Last week, Standard and Poor's downgraded the state's credit rating from A to A-minus. The move means Illinois has the worst ranking of all 50 states, a distinction the state had already earned from Moody's. The ratings mean it could cost the state more to borrow money as investors seek higher interest rates.
The rating agencies blame the lack of action in Springfield on reforming the state's vastly underfunded public employee pension system. Quinn has been unsuccessfully pushing for changes for a year. The delay in bond sales could up the pressure on lawmakers to act sooner rather than later, particularly if it impacts construction of schools and roads in their districts.
House Republican leader Tom Cross of Oswego issued a statement about Quinn's move today.
"The administration's decision to pull the $500 million bond sale today is a clear indication that officials were concerned that we might pay too much in interest, in large part due to our awful credit rating. Our failure to pass meaningful pension reform, to pay down our large backlog of bills and to live within our means is contributing to this uncertainty in the markets for us," the statement read.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
The Grand Parents
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?"
It's not our role but one we've witnessed throughout the years, the role a grandparent plays in their grand children's lives, it's an awesome role usually.
For me I only had my Grand Pa John Hughes, and I loved him dearly despite not understanding his role when fathering my mother, he was not always there for her, and let the wicked stepmother forced on her at age 15 have too much to say and too much money control which put my mom in a bad situation for most of her teen and early adulthood years, but as a Grand Father we had many good times with him, and I'd have to say he influenced that first love of music most certainly for me, another Irish dreamer.
I lost Grandpa to prostate cancer when I was 16 yrs old, but not before a ton of humor and music and hugs had been indulged in. His accordion rests with me, and I still love the sound of a well played flute.
Next I witnessed our own child's Grand Parents as they blossomed and bloomed into their own styles, all very different due in part to living proximity, when he was a very young toddler my folks moved in with us due to a Wisconsin home sale, until the addition we were building onto our house would be ready for them to occupy, tight quarters for those first few months, and more "No's" for the toddler as he learned the safety of given terrain, no privacy for anyone, couch sleeping for us. What was tough for the adults involved turned into a good old time for a growing boy, parents busy with survival skills being tweaked, he ended up preferring his grand parents who had patience to color, read, play, and shower affections on him as we tried to get the addition completed and after, well he'd announce to us he was going home with the twins as he dubbed them, and he'd spend time with Grandpa on the couch pretending it was a fishing boat, tossing him out of that pretend boat onto the blue blankets and carpet, or testing out Grammies cooking which he was already smart enough to know was much better than mine, and so it went his first babysitters, substitute parents, and good friends flourished, until Grandpa and Grandma would become ill and have to leave 12 years apart.
His other set of Grand parents in the city would see him for family visits and holidays, their hands full with a rather large family and other grand children to babysit, play with and love, and not long after another new Grandson would be reared by them, so those relationships as established always did flourish,, daily living, all the details involved, teaching them survival skills, taking them to games, playing catch, teaching them how to cook and on and on it goes.
And then we witnessed as our siblings became grand parents, all the care and attention they'd give as their own grand children came into this world and needed some more love and teaching passed on to them. Sometimes seeing a look or a trait passed from one generation to another has been a thing that brought many smiles to us. It is without a doubt that I see parts of the sibling in the child or vice versa, eye color, a look that stops you in your tracks, or a special smile, and you see the heridity for a fleeting moment.
And that is where the blessing of time and good health really comes to be cherished, more time for them all to play and guide their grandchildren, that's what I wish for. I have no idea if we'll be blessed this way one day, but it would be something to look forward to, I think we'd enjoy the days spent ........
It's not our role but one we've witnessed throughout the years, the role a grandparent plays in their grand children's lives, it's an awesome role usually.
For me I only had my Grand Pa John Hughes, and I loved him dearly despite not understanding his role when fathering my mother, he was not always there for her, and let the wicked stepmother forced on her at age 15 have too much to say and too much money control which put my mom in a bad situation for most of her teen and early adulthood years, but as a Grand Father we had many good times with him, and I'd have to say he influenced that first love of music most certainly for me, another Irish dreamer.
I lost Grandpa to prostate cancer when I was 16 yrs old, but not before a ton of humor and music and hugs had been indulged in. His accordion rests with me, and I still love the sound of a well played flute.
Next I witnessed our own child's Grand Parents as they blossomed and bloomed into their own styles, all very different due in part to living proximity, when he was a very young toddler my folks moved in with us due to a Wisconsin home sale, until the addition we were building onto our house would be ready for them to occupy, tight quarters for those first few months, and more "No's" for the toddler as he learned the safety of given terrain, no privacy for anyone, couch sleeping for us. What was tough for the adults involved turned into a good old time for a growing boy, parents busy with survival skills being tweaked, he ended up preferring his grand parents who had patience to color, read, play, and shower affections on him as we tried to get the addition completed and after, well he'd announce to us he was going home with the twins as he dubbed them, and he'd spend time with Grandpa on the couch pretending it was a fishing boat, tossing him out of that pretend boat onto the blue blankets and carpet, or testing out Grammies cooking which he was already smart enough to know was much better than mine, and so it went his first babysitters, substitute parents, and good friends flourished, until Grandpa and Grandma would become ill and have to leave 12 years apart.
His other set of Grand parents in the city would see him for family visits and holidays, their hands full with a rather large family and other grand children to babysit, play with and love, and not long after another new Grandson would be reared by them, so those relationships as established always did flourish,, daily living, all the details involved, teaching them survival skills, taking them to games, playing catch, teaching them how to cook and on and on it goes.
And then we witnessed as our siblings became grand parents, all the care and attention they'd give as their own grand children came into this world and needed some more love and teaching passed on to them. Sometimes seeing a look or a trait passed from one generation to another has been a thing that brought many smiles to us. It is without a doubt that I see parts of the sibling in the child or vice versa, eye color, a look that stops you in your tracks, or a special smile, and you see the heridity for a fleeting moment.
And that is where the blessing of time and good health really comes to be cherished, more time for them all to play and guide their grandchildren, that's what I wish for. I have no idea if we'll be blessed this way one day, but it would be something to look forward to, I think we'd enjoy the days spent ........
Saturday, January 19, 2013
And the world keeps going round
So many years later as it all keeps spinning, knowing where we've been, and where we've arrived to, it all goes a little too fast for me to savor it, grasp it, like the old fever dream of the sand slipping through my palm, so much of it does it's fleeting dance, dancing away from my hold.
Once years ago a person who would become a best friend one day long, long after, informed that I was the family "chump", I'd always give some forgiveness, another opportunity or chance to those I encountered on this lovely planet we call Earth.
Days could bring you to your knees, steal away the treasures that are found within the people we love, I'd vow a harder human spirit would emerge, and what do I get? The chump side is still there, only I'd prefer to call the resilient child within is the strongest part of the spirit caught within these walls of flesh, the flesh erodes and laughingly the child remains, much like Du Maurier's "Progress of Julius" and his life long story as a small child floating out on the waters he saw the clouds above and reached his hands upward trying to grasp them, and when he died an old man......after a novel full of adventures the last thing he did before he closed his eyes and surrendered to the waters was to reach up towards the skies and try to capture those clouds again in his fists.
So the child comes home from work these winter nights, January driving towards the sun noticing the light and sunsets are with her westward bound, a month early as this usually occurs in February at her birth date, and she knows somehow the world or the planet has slipped a notch early, she's been tracking this progression of winter light for years on that same time of day ride, a small detail to one man, intriguing to her.
As she enters her yard like Julius she looks up to the stars, the moon quarter moon earlier in the week now near a 1/2 moon, despite the cold she could stay out there gazing for awhile, it's still the child who enjoys all this, despite the tired woman who houses her, she goes into see her lovies and start some dinner.
One possible question is: Who is the chump really? The one that harbors the grudges. The one who buys into the bullshit? The one who teaches the lessons of always placing blame elsewhere? Do we just leave that as a legacy, or do we keep on trying to mend fences, and build bridges?
Out of a cast of thousands, I only hold on to a neighbor grudge and maybe a handful from my youth of trusted friends who were disguised evils. But in adult life, even if the shadow or subconscious person knows better or tries to guard, the woman puts herself on ice and lets the child lead with wonder that still is the essence.
I don't hold grudges, what was, was, what is, is, hopefully each chapter gave us something that was heartwarming, and hopefully we all see the beauties enough to know that that cup of life has always been replenished and remains Half Full.
Once years ago a person who would become a best friend one day long, long after, informed that I was the family "chump", I'd always give some forgiveness, another opportunity or chance to those I encountered on this lovely planet we call Earth.
Days could bring you to your knees, steal away the treasures that are found within the people we love, I'd vow a harder human spirit would emerge, and what do I get? The chump side is still there, only I'd prefer to call the resilient child within is the strongest part of the spirit caught within these walls of flesh, the flesh erodes and laughingly the child remains, much like Du Maurier's "Progress of Julius" and his life long story as a small child floating out on the waters he saw the clouds above and reached his hands upward trying to grasp them, and when he died an old man......after a novel full of adventures the last thing he did before he closed his eyes and surrendered to the waters was to reach up towards the skies and try to capture those clouds again in his fists.
So the child comes home from work these winter nights, January driving towards the sun noticing the light and sunsets are with her westward bound, a month early as this usually occurs in February at her birth date, and she knows somehow the world or the planet has slipped a notch early, she's been tracking this progression of winter light for years on that same time of day ride, a small detail to one man, intriguing to her.
As she enters her yard like Julius she looks up to the stars, the moon quarter moon earlier in the week now near a 1/2 moon, despite the cold she could stay out there gazing for awhile, it's still the child who enjoys all this, despite the tired woman who houses her, she goes into see her lovies and start some dinner.
One possible question is: Who is the chump really? The one that harbors the grudges. The one who buys into the bullshit? The one who teaches the lessons of always placing blame elsewhere? Do we just leave that as a legacy, or do we keep on trying to mend fences, and build bridges?
Out of a cast of thousands, I only hold on to a neighbor grudge and maybe a handful from my youth of trusted friends who were disguised evils. But in adult life, even if the shadow or subconscious person knows better or tries to guard, the woman puts herself on ice and lets the child lead with wonder that still is the essence.
I don't hold grudges, what was, was, what is, is, hopefully each chapter gave us something that was heartwarming, and hopefully we all see the beauties enough to know that that cup of life has always been replenished and remains Half Full.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2012 , a door closes except for the memories
Each year brings good and bad to some of us, while some years become treacherous, other years become enjoyable, 2012 was one of those years for "our families", there is an old story that passes about throughout the times, that sums up what 2012 was for me: "I Wish You Enough", I will share it at the end of this writing.
In 2012, via pictures or sometimes videos, and some times real visits with our families, the year brought many of us "enough", little babies growing up into toddlers much loved by our own siblings who are their grandparents, and enjoying the world through their Grandma or Grandpas eyes, older children being exciting about getting their license, our own son finding someone who loves him for who he is and returns the caring for his special young woman. Through the hard work of my spouse it brought us some stability in a faltering economy, not without a price paid by him as he still gives his 150% he always gave, he in particular brought me some peace, some light . And 2012 brought us more of Grandpa & Grandma both unique, both loved, both cherished by their large families now spun off into endless ancestry flowcharts. 2012 was kinder than some of it's relatives, and being thankful for such a stretch of time, well that I am. I would think we all are.
And so here is the story I promised, passed around many times via internet, but always a keeper:
" I wish you enough!"
At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments
together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the
door, he said to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough." She said,
"Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I
ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she
left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I
could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy,
but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone
knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back
memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me.
Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how
much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead
and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.
"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May
I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been
handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He
paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail,
he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting
the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain
them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory. "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude
bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough
happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest
joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye." He then
began to sob and walked away.
My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!! They say, "It takes a
minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them."
Take the time to live!
In 2012, via pictures or sometimes videos, and some times real visits with our families, the year brought many of us "enough", little babies growing up into toddlers much loved by our own siblings who are their grandparents, and enjoying the world through their Grandma or Grandpas eyes, older children being exciting about getting their license, our own son finding someone who loves him for who he is and returns the caring for his special young woman. Through the hard work of my spouse it brought us some stability in a faltering economy, not without a price paid by him as he still gives his 150% he always gave, he in particular brought me some peace, some light . And 2012 brought us more of Grandpa & Grandma both unique, both loved, both cherished by their large families now spun off into endless ancestry flowcharts. 2012 was kinder than some of it's relatives, and being thankful for such a stretch of time, well that I am. I would think we all are.
And so here is the story I promised, passed around many times via internet, but always a keeper:
" I wish you enough!"
At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments
together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the
door, he said to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough." She said,
"Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I
ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she
left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I
could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy,
but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone
knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back
memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me.
Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how
much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead
and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.
"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May
I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been
handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He
paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail,
he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting
the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain
them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory. "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude
bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough
happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest
joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye." He then
began to sob and walked away.
My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!! They say, "It takes a
minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them."
Take the time to live!
January, named after Janus the god of the doorway
January is named after Janus (Ianuarius), the god of the doorway; the name has its beginnings in Roman mythology, coming from the Latin word for door (ianua) - January is the door to the year. Traditionally, the original Roman calendar consisted of 10 months, totalling 304 days, winter being considered a monthless period. Around 713 BCE, the semi-mythical successor of Romulus, King Numa Pompilius, is supposed to have added the months of January and February, allowing the calendar to equal a standard lunar year (355 days). Although March was originally the first month in the old Roman Calendar, January became the first month of the calendar year either under Numa or under the Decemvirs about 450 BCE (Roman writers differ). In contrast, years in dates were identified by naming two consuls, who entered office on May 1 and March 15 before 153 BCE when they began to enter office on January 1.
Various Christian feast dates were used for the New Year in Europe during the Middle Ages, including March 25 and December 25. However, medieval calendars were still displayed in the Roman fashion of twelve columns from January to December. Beginning in the sixteenth century, European countries began officially making January 1 the start of the New Year once again — sometimes called Circumcision Style because this was the date of the Feast of the Circumcision, being the eighth day from December 25.
Historical names for January include its original Roman designation, Ianuarius, the Saxon term Wulf-monath (meaning wolf month) and Charlemagne's designation Wintarmanoth (winter / cold month).
The above was a little background for where this month came from, 2 months created by man and added to a different calendar which had also been created by man: Wolf Month, I can understand that after watching the huge full moon the last two nights, named by a people who suffer the same seasonal frigid cold as we do, January has seemed to me an unforgiving month, harsh, and at times to cold to think straight, but then I live in the midwest.
A long time ago in the history of man there will be mentioned a time when the lands were dark, a time when the lands became unseasonably cold, a time and weather condition that invoked travel amongst the people to search for a warmer climate and the food that a warmer climate would yield to the populace, it is referenced in many books about Europe and in particular some of the slavic countries, in my minds eye I have believe it to have been an extended January which brought darkness, starvation, and a blight on the people, they speak of the dark cloud masses covering any sunlight from getting through to the land....and the wolves ran rampant over powering travelers on foot and travelers by carriage's horses so hungry and bold were they.
Yes it must have started in January, be it the doorway to the year, it is one harsh month to get through. Very little margin for errors here, exercise caution, stay in doors as often as possible, and drink hot liquids to keep the colds from your body and spirits.
Goodbye to January*
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Only a very scary 1% could get this
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" It's there right behind the overcast sky, how could the sun come out on a week ended in insanity? Agreed it couldn't want to shine.
as a small child I witnessed much insanity, chaos was what reigned, until enough time and love could bring about healings of wounded minds and yes by then wounded hearts, but no one I encountered ever would go into a school and open fire on the adults but positively not a child, so whereas I understand much about a humans mind breaking, I cannot understand these actions repeated over and over again of mad men and woman shooting up schools.
The first headlines after are always about gun control, as a person who lived through 1968 march up Milwaukee Ave, cars overturned and set to burn, bricks thrown through Shoppers World's windows, my God I could hear their anger from Nw Hwy & Foster where I stood, and the run home, made me understand why people want the right to have a gun for protection within their own homes walls.
In 1971 some disgruntled older brother of a guy my brothers sold a car to would come to the house while all of my family was gone, and very methodically tried to find an unlocked window to gain entry, we had no cell phones in those days so there was no way I could find my brothers, I only had to sit there and pray the guy would go away, and so I still understood even stronger why people would want the right to bear arms, to protect themselves from these space invaders.
But these 27-28 dead in Conneticut, mostly children, I cannot understand why anyone would lose their mind, shoot someone at home and then head for the nearest school, not dots are connected, no logic present.
We will never understand this type of insanity. We are 99% sane, 1 % insane and only the 1% gets this at all, and they are too large in number actually.
as a small child I witnessed much insanity, chaos was what reigned, until enough time and love could bring about healings of wounded minds and yes by then wounded hearts, but no one I encountered ever would go into a school and open fire on the adults but positively not a child, so whereas I understand much about a humans mind breaking, I cannot understand these actions repeated over and over again of mad men and woman shooting up schools.
The first headlines after are always about gun control, as a person who lived through 1968 march up Milwaukee Ave, cars overturned and set to burn, bricks thrown through Shoppers World's windows, my God I could hear their anger from Nw Hwy & Foster where I stood, and the run home, made me understand why people want the right to have a gun for protection within their own homes walls.
In 1971 some disgruntled older brother of a guy my brothers sold a car to would come to the house while all of my family was gone, and very methodically tried to find an unlocked window to gain entry, we had no cell phones in those days so there was no way I could find my brothers, I only had to sit there and pray the guy would go away, and so I still understood even stronger why people would want the right to bear arms, to protect themselves from these space invaders.
But these 27-28 dead in Conneticut, mostly children, I cannot understand why anyone would lose their mind, shoot someone at home and then head for the nearest school, not dots are connected, no logic present.
We will never understand this type of insanity. We are 99% sane, 1 % insane and only the 1% gets this at all, and they are too large in number actually.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
One of my blood
I have so many nephews through marriage and yet I have but 1 through blood, he was the runt of the litters, and yet I have enjoyed him all these years.
I wake up this morning, coffee in hand logging onto face book, always the variety, some putting up pictures of decorated tree, some boasting a new car purchase, and then I spot his post, I smile I am touched, he is my blood:
“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
― Alfred Tennyson, Idylls of the King and a Selection of Poems
I wake up this morning, coffee in hand logging onto face book, always the variety, some putting up pictures of decorated tree, some boasting a new car purchase, and then I spot his post, I smile I am touched, he is my blood:
“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
― Alfred Tennyson, Idylls of the King and a Selection of Poems
Saturday, November 24, 2012
The simple life
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Saw a spectacular one on Thanksgiving morning as we drove to the city, one big orange ball first climbing out behind the purple night clouds and then blasting it's beautiful light into our eyes, I couldn't look away.
The best part of the day is it's beginning.
The best part of the day is it's beginning.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Scorpio
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Hmmm, you get to see them all don't you? It's one of your days Irish, I think of you often, usually when I'm laughing, or when your grandson's telling us a funny story, his own green eyes so expressive or seeing his own Irish peek out, or sometimes a song will trigger me. But I carry you in my heart, owe you many thanks, and will absolutely never forget the strongest lady I ever met who taught me what to love in life, and to find a laugh in way too many situations. Happy 11201926 <3 br="br">
Oil of Oregano & Pure Virgin Olive Oil, for skin
Your skin is your bodies largest organ, so handle with care:
6-8 drops of Oil of Oregano & 1 shot glass of Pure Virgin Olive Oil, applied to most skin ailments brings a positive reaction, healing and in a natural fashion without all the chemical whoopla prescribed by big Pharma that actually wears down the skin and is absorbed into the body thru the skin working against other organs.
6-8 drops of Oil of Oregano & 1 shot glass of Pure Virgin Olive Oil, applied to most skin ailments brings a positive reaction, healing and in a natural fashion without all the chemical whoopla prescribed by big Pharma that actually wears down the skin and is absorbed into the body thru the skin working against other organs.
Honey & Cinnamon Paste is a wonderful cure
Take a cup, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, 3 tsp of honey, mix into a paste, and consume it. cures earaches, new colds, sore throats, and newly abscessed teeth.
And has cured some tough chest congestion.......think it's a mini miracle worker, use it for 4 days, and you've beaten it! If you can't tolerate the past, put it in milk or ice cream
And has cured some tough chest congestion.......think it's a mini miracle worker, use it for 4 days, and you've beaten it! If you can't tolerate the past, put it in milk or ice cream
Health Benefits of Cinnamon, another dynamo
What is Cinnamon?
Cinnamon is a small tree that is commonly found in South Asia and the Middle East region. The cinnamon that we typically purchase in our supermarkets is actually the bark of this tree, either sold as sticks or ground into a powder. The two most popular types of cinnamon are Ceylon and Cassia, each of which are derived from different trees.What are the Benefits of Cinnamon?
Cinnamon has extremely high anti-oxidant activity, and the oil of cinnamon has strong anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties. Cinnamon is also a great source of manganese, fiber, iron, and calcium. As a result, it has been used as an effective home remedy for:- Reducing blood sugar levels and treating Type 2 Diabetes.
- Lowering cholesterol.
- Aiding digestion.
- Treating diarrhea.
- Curing the common cold.
- Reducing arthritis pain.
- Boosting memory and cognitive function.
- Treating toothaches.
- Eliminating bad breath.
- Curing headaches and migraine pain.
Uses of Cinnamon
Home Remedy for Arthritis
Cinnamon has recently been shown to act as a natural remedy for Arthritis pain.Home Remedy for Diabetes
Research suggests that cinnamon may help treat Type 2 Diabetes by lowering blood sugar levels and increasing the amount of insulin production in the body.Home Remedy for Reducing Cholesterol
Recent studies have shown that consuming small amounts of cinnamon can help reduce LDL cholesterol (the bad one). Simply eat half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder daily. The cinnamon can be added as a mild sweetener to coffee or tea.Home Remedy for Eliminating Headaches and Migraine Pain
Cinnamon has been found to be an effective natural remedy for eliminating headaches and migraine relief.Home Remedy for Coughs and the Common Cold
Chinese medicine has long used cinnamon as a natural remedy for coughs and the common cold. A simple herbal remedy for treating a sore throat is the following:- Add a cinnamon stick to boiling water.
- Let boil for 2 minutes.
- Remove the cinnamon stick.
- Use the cinnamon water for any herbal tea, such as green tea.
- Drink this tea two times per day. If the cold persists for longer than 3 days, consult your doctor.
Home Remedy for Toothaches
Cinnamon has been known to help relieve toothache pain. Simply make a paste using five teaspoons of honey mixed with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder. Apply a small amount of this paste directly onto the aching tooth 2 or 3 times daily until the pain is relieved. You can store any extra paste in a small container at room temperature.What are the Side Effects of Cinnamon?
Some recent studies in Europe have shown that cinnamon derived from the Cassia plant contains a toxic compound known as Coumarin. This compound is known to cause liver and kidney damage in high concentrations. Since the powdered cinnamon that we purchase in our supermarkets is typically derived from the Cassia plant, it is important to avoid consuming high doses of it.Since cinnamon has an anti-clotting effect on the blood, caution should also be exercised when it is used in combination with other blood-thinning products such as aspirin. Large quantities of cinnamon should also be avoided during pregnancy due to the possibility of adverse effects on the uterus.
Anyone that is currently taking medication for controlling blood sugar levels or blood thinners should consult their doctor before using cinnamon as a regular supplement.
Where and How to Buy Cinnamon
The powdered cinnamon that we commonly use as a spice is typically Cassia cinnamon, and can be found in most grocery stores. It can also be purchased in stick form. Ceylon cinnamon is typically more expensive than Cassia cinnamon, and is therefore usually only available in specialty stores. It is usually only available in stick form. While both types are known for their therapeutic effects, the Ceylon cinnamon is slightly sweeter and is therefore considered to be of higher quality.Health Benefits of the Underated: HONEY
What is Honey?
Honey has been considered a wonderful healing agent for ages. It is a sweet and viscous fluid made by honey bees from the nectar of flowers. Honey comes in a variety of colors, from almost white down to darker colors such as amber, red, or brown. Honey is an amazing antibacterial substance which is comprised of sugars like glucose and fructose and minerals (like magnesium, potassium, calcium, sodium chlorine, sulphur, iron and phosphate), vitamins (such as B1, B2, C, B6, B5, B3), trace elements (like copper, iodine, and zinc) as well as amino acids. The nutritional properties, color and flavour of honey are determined by the types of flowers the bees pollinate.What are the Benefits of Honey?
Honey contains vitamins, minerals, and amino acids, and therefore is a wonderful beauty aid that nourishes the skin and the hair. Honey also acts as an antibacterial and antifungal agent and helps disinfect and speed the healing process in wounds, scrapes and burns.Scientific research from the University of California, Davis has also revealed that honey consumption raises our protective antioxidant levels. Antioxidants combat the free radicals which can damage cells.
Uses of Honey
Cold and Sore Throat Home Remedy
Honey is considered to be one of the best natural remedies for sore throats, coughs and general cold symptoms. Honey has long been used in various natural sore throat remedies ranging from teas to syrups. Even today many commercial preparations for sore throats and coughs (such as lozenges) are still primarily based on honey. For a simple and natural remedy to a cold or sore throat, take one teaspoon of honey twice a day until cured. If your cold or sore throat persists for longer than 5 days, you should contact your doctor.Honey as a Beauty Aid
- Cleansing Scrub: Honey mixed with ground almonds makes an excellent facial cleansing scrub.
- Skin Firming Mask: A tablespoon of honey whisked together with an egg white, 1 teaspoon of glycerin and about 1/4 cup of flour makes an excellent firming mask. Just smooth on the face, leave on 15 minutes, and rinse off with warm water. You will be pleased with the results.
- Skin Moisturizer: Honey also makes a great moisturizing pack. Just mix 2 tablespoons of honey with 2 teaspoons of whole milk, smooth over the face and throat, and let it do its job for 15 minutes. Rinse off with warm water, and finish splashing with cold water.
- Lotion for Dry Patches: Honey also makes a great lotion for dry patches of skin on hands, elbows, or other parts. Just mix 1 teaspoon of honey with 1 teaspoon of olive oil and a 1/2 teaspoon of lemon juice. Apply to hands, elbows, heels of your foot, etc., and wash off after 15 minutes. Fast relief!
- Cure for Chapped Lips and Acne: Honey works well on chapped lips and for acne because it has antibacterial properties.
- Conditioner for Dull Hair: To give your hair lustrous shine, mix 1 teaspoon of honey into 4 cups of warm water. Use as a hair rinse. And if you're a blond, add the juice of 1 lemon, too.
- Antibacterial Mouthwash: Mix 1 tablespoon of honey with a cup of warm water. Use it as a mouthwash. Honey cleans teeth and dentures, and kills germs in the mouth.
What are the Side Effects of Honey?
There are no known regular side effects to honey when used in moderation. However, it is recommended that raw honey not be fed to infants under the age of one year. This is due to the potential for honey to carry C. botulinum spores which may be harmful to the undeveloped immune systems of infants.Where and How to Buy Honey
There are two primary things to keep in mind when purchasing honey for nutritional purposes. First, dark colored honey, such as buckwheat honey, is generally thought to contain higher levels of antioxidants than the lighter colored varieties. Second, raw or unprocessed honey contains the widest variety of health-supportive substances. Any added sugar is simply a non-nutritive empty calorie that robs the body of vitamins and minerals.A born romantic, who would have guessed
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Daylight is such a great thing, we under estimate it:)
SO I came across this little diddly this morning....and I read it twice before I saw it's author, who I read plenty of in high school with an English teacher who absolutely just loved his style of stories, this obviously came from a different of one man, backing up to my stories of people, multifaceted like diamonds, all those sides, glints, and colors to be discovered, I really enjoyed finding this:
SO I came across this little diddly this morning....and I read it twice before I saw it's author, who I read plenty of in high school with an English teacher who absolutely just loved his style of stories, this obviously came from a different of one man, backing up to my stories of people, multifaceted like diamonds, all those sides, glints, and colors to be discovered, I really enjoyed finding this:
Saturday, November 17, 2012
An Aunt's Inspiration
Aunt Dot told me some years back that I had a good writing style, and to start a blog so I could write about the things that affected me in this life, I did do this and it's allowed me to get my feelings and thoughts expressed on all the things we encounter in life, I wouldn't have had the confidence without her nudges., and shared love of Chicago a town we both grew up in. We had learned all of this through emailing back and forth with her brother Dean who has been my good friend and Father in law for years now, I shared memories of Annunciation Church off of Paulina, and she wrote us back remembering she'd once lived across from it by the rectory, and of we were writing back and forth about different Chicago landmarks, or old memories we each had of that vital town.
Some of the writing involved different people and relationships that made a difference in each of our lives. Sometimes she would simply write that the computers were acting up and that Aleta her daughter was going to spend that sunday afternoon tweaking them a bit, and that she was off to the kitchen to make them all sunday dinner. They lived in trailers that were next to the other, so they were able to have so nice family fun still on Lee's days off, or leisurely days of reading newspapers and books.
My own Auntie's of merit long gone, and my own parents as well, I enjoyed the relationship's as the evolved.
Both of them having me keep an eye on Aunt Vi when they couldn't, brought me into another vital link they shared, one that for me would bring about a great sadness, as I shared some of her last path causeways, a sadness maybe only my dear pal knew I experienced, It brought with it some touching moments like her reaction to a pink rhinestone heart that was on my wallet, or stopping off to have dinner with her in the dining room when she could, or the simple things like getting her shawl or putting on lotion to legs and feet. While she slept I read some old newspaper articles and learned more about her former life and what an amazing women she was. I still miss Aunt Vi, and hope she felt my intent somewhat.
And then Aunt Dot's request for the posies for her own Ma, and we did it for Mother's Day, all of ours are at the same place, we remembered mostly the spot. She was so happy we'd done that for her.
And then the years brought vertigo to Aunt Dot, she couldn't be up long for the computer, time changes things, so Aleta and I kept some contact through emails, she is a good daughter, much in spirit to many other daughters and sons, she's given a ton of love back to the people who loved her so well. She lost her dad this year, and last night she wrote us about Aunt Dot's passing. My heart goes out to the family, very hard two in such a short amount of time, no words can convey enough on the loss to a family.
Aunt Dot became one of my Auntie's, in our age of computers it is amazing the relationships time builds, and some of the fun it gives, and comforts too in times of loss, she came into my life for some crucial parts and I can't let her go without saying: thank you for the push to express, much better than holding it in, thank you for the growth that this blog has given me in at least knowing myself, or my perspective on a few more pieces.
Some of the writing involved different people and relationships that made a difference in each of our lives. Sometimes she would simply write that the computers were acting up and that Aleta her daughter was going to spend that sunday afternoon tweaking them a bit, and that she was off to the kitchen to make them all sunday dinner. They lived in trailers that were next to the other, so they were able to have so nice family fun still on Lee's days off, or leisurely days of reading newspapers and books.
My own Auntie's of merit long gone, and my own parents as well, I enjoyed the relationship's as the evolved.
Both of them having me keep an eye on Aunt Vi when they couldn't, brought me into another vital link they shared, one that for me would bring about a great sadness, as I shared some of her last path causeways, a sadness maybe only my dear pal knew I experienced, It brought with it some touching moments like her reaction to a pink rhinestone heart that was on my wallet, or stopping off to have dinner with her in the dining room when she could, or the simple things like getting her shawl or putting on lotion to legs and feet. While she slept I read some old newspaper articles and learned more about her former life and what an amazing women she was. I still miss Aunt Vi, and hope she felt my intent somewhat.
And then Aunt Dot's request for the posies for her own Ma, and we did it for Mother's Day, all of ours are at the same place, we remembered mostly the spot. She was so happy we'd done that for her.
And then the years brought vertigo to Aunt Dot, she couldn't be up long for the computer, time changes things, so Aleta and I kept some contact through emails, she is a good daughter, much in spirit to many other daughters and sons, she's given a ton of love back to the people who loved her so well. She lost her dad this year, and last night she wrote us about Aunt Dot's passing. My heart goes out to the family, very hard two in such a short amount of time, no words can convey enough on the loss to a family.
Aunt Dot became one of my Auntie's, in our age of computers it is amazing the relationships time builds, and some of the fun it gives, and comforts too in times of loss, she came into my life for some crucial parts and I can't let her go without saying: thank you for the push to express, much better than holding it in, thank you for the growth that this blog has given me in at least knowing myself, or my perspective on a few more pieces.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
What comes naturally to one, another struggles for
A few nights back we were invited to come hear Jack & his group speak, they had just returned from a Group Getaway Weekend.
Jack joined the group to work through some communications issues he felt he had, not always able to express himself to key people in his life, although he does a wonderful job when he's here for a dinner night speaking with us, in fact I like listening to his thoughts as they evolve.
For him his attention was drawn to it due to a break up with his girlfriend of many years, but as he thought it through I think he felt he'd held in in his thoughts from many situations of old as they'd played out in his teenage years.
He is a friend to our son, and thereby ending up spending considerable time with us in his teen years, and for a time stayed with us while his own family had hit dysfunctional.
The group is many in number, different issues, but many stemming from their childhood or teen years, and yet some of them are oldsters like us. Many were verbally abused or grew up in alcholic households, and a few had been physically abused.
This group & group therapy has tied religion aka: God into it. One man has been involved for 20 years, helping to guide others is understandable to me, but seeking answers still or progress is way too long term for me to even want to think about.
The group has possible let Jack get in touch with many of his own thoughts or feelings and strengthened him to be able to verbalize or convey his feelings and emotions better to others, these getaways weekends held several times a year, but I would never wish it for him long term. It was stated that men are groomed to not express their feelings, give hugs, cry in front of anyone, and on some levels this is true, butthey should be freed from cultural
rearings that could possible imbred this type of upbringing, simply being if you want to express yourself "go for it", if you're need to cry let it flow.
Similar to the people in this group I grew up in a way dysfunctional house, Mom having a genuine bonafide nervous breakdown, she was afraid of way too many things and the news media stories of the time only seemed to be additives to an already overwhelmed mind. Caretakers of her aging Dad & his step wife, called out at all hours for hospital trips, calls from police over a dispute grandpa had been involved in, him drinking way too much and being found somewhere beaten up, a scar on his skull attested too lacks of controls there. Three young children to care for, she became worried she would hurt us, she became worried she would poison us, I have no idea where these thoughts creeped in but they did, and she hospitalized herself rather than have anything more bizarre happen, and when she got back out of the hospital, she still couldn't cope and went back for even longer, she was gone the better part of that winter of 61.
When she came home she joined one of these group therapy things, it was to strengthen her, in truth she went backwards, she being suseptable picked up everyone else's main fear, and she listened to records of the group over and over, until we all had our hands real full with this newly evolved edition, gone in with 1 or 2 things, come back with 12. We had her quit group after a friend of hers committed suicide, one of my own friends moms from down the street. And the rest would take light years to work through, and all the trimmings.
So yes Jack, I loved hearing you speak, I like what good you've drawn from this group, but please don't stay too long, please have confidence in yourself and move on using what you've learned, you're a bright young man, go, travel a bit with your brother, and move on into the sun light, it's out there, waiting for you.
Jack joined the group to work through some communications issues he felt he had, not always able to express himself to key people in his life, although he does a wonderful job when he's here for a dinner night speaking with us, in fact I like listening to his thoughts as they evolve.
For him his attention was drawn to it due to a break up with his girlfriend of many years, but as he thought it through I think he felt he'd held in in his thoughts from many situations of old as they'd played out in his teenage years.
He is a friend to our son, and thereby ending up spending considerable time with us in his teen years, and for a time stayed with us while his own family had hit dysfunctional.
The group is many in number, different issues, but many stemming from their childhood or teen years, and yet some of them are oldsters like us. Many were verbally abused or grew up in alcholic households, and a few had been physically abused.
This group & group therapy has tied religion aka: God into it. One man has been involved for 20 years, helping to guide others is understandable to me, but seeking answers still or progress is way too long term for me to even want to think about.
The group has possible let Jack get in touch with many of his own thoughts or feelings and strengthened him to be able to verbalize or convey his feelings and emotions better to others, these getaways weekends held several times a year, but I would never wish it for him long term. It was stated that men are groomed to not express their feelings, give hugs, cry in front of anyone, and on some levels this is true, butthey should be freed from cultural
rearings that could possible imbred this type of upbringing, simply being if you want to express yourself "go for it", if you're need to cry let it flow.
Similar to the people in this group I grew up in a way dysfunctional house, Mom having a genuine bonafide nervous breakdown, she was afraid of way too many things and the news media stories of the time only seemed to be additives to an already overwhelmed mind. Caretakers of her aging Dad & his step wife, called out at all hours for hospital trips, calls from police over a dispute grandpa had been involved in, him drinking way too much and being found somewhere beaten up, a scar on his skull attested too lacks of controls there. Three young children to care for, she became worried she would hurt us, she became worried she would poison us, I have no idea where these thoughts creeped in but they did, and she hospitalized herself rather than have anything more bizarre happen, and when she got back out of the hospital, she still couldn't cope and went back for even longer, she was gone the better part of that winter of 61.
When she came home she joined one of these group therapy things, it was to strengthen her, in truth she went backwards, she being suseptable picked up everyone else's main fear, and she listened to records of the group over and over, until we all had our hands real full with this newly evolved edition, gone in with 1 or 2 things, come back with 12. We had her quit group after a friend of hers committed suicide, one of my own friends moms from down the street. And the rest would take light years to work through, and all the trimmings.
So yes Jack, I loved hearing you speak, I like what good you've drawn from this group, but please don't stay too long, please have confidence in yourself and move on using what you've learned, you're a bright young man, go, travel a bit with your brother, and move on into the sun light, it's out there, waiting for you.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Not recently enough, no time to just sit and watch even our more sedate mid-western sunrise, and somehow that seems to be a real shame, for somehow staying in tune to mother-nature keeps me grounded.
Some thoughts from the last week, unrelated, yet they make you weary:
Dear Mr. a service rendered and full filled = integrity
My dear 8-5 your AADH and lack of tuning into our world is going to catch up with you, you cannot be on the phone with friends at work 4 days out of 5 and not think that our workload and $$ volume is not going to suffer, you've got me to the point where I can hardly stay contained in my own skin at work, the pile on the table to be reviewed sits there week upon week and the dates are coming up and you continue to make it a a sandbox in a play zone.
It's the birth month of my mother and father, I carry them in my heart and sometimes in my head. Conversations never had continue, of all the values and care they instilled in us, patience is my hardest one to keep aligned. I think I use up much of it in my work day, but need to stretch it better in some areas, a work in progress or a piece of work depends on who I encounter it seems.
Driving: Dear Gaming Generation again I urge you to put the cell phones down when you're behind the wheel, stop doing 65-75 mph switching lanes like you believe this is a game you can lose and start over, you really cannot start over after the crash, after the crash people maybe dead or badly injured because of your grand delusions.
My son goes out with some newer friends to celebrate the dad's birthday, and the parents tell their kids that hard times have come too close, the house must be sold and a down scaled life arranged for, retirement money once again are the only rescue and band aid. So it seems that even as we see some economy recovery, others falter and prepare to keep fighting another year. My son pitches in toward the birthday celebration, he has a good heart, he's his father's son.
We will move on, deeper into November, hopefully a few floating items out there will self correct, as I used to believe, although a sorely tested theory: "man like water will rise to his best level". Winter's around the corner.
Kms/Some days in the life of sunshine
Some thoughts from the last week, unrelated, yet they make you weary:
Dear Mr. a service rendered and full filled = integrity
My dear 8-5 your AADH and lack of tuning into our world is going to catch up with you, you cannot be on the phone with friends at work 4 days out of 5 and not think that our workload and $$ volume is not going to suffer, you've got me to the point where I can hardly stay contained in my own skin at work, the pile on the table to be reviewed sits there week upon week and the dates are coming up and you continue to make it a a sandbox in a play zone.
It's the birth month of my mother and father, I carry them in my heart and sometimes in my head. Conversations never had continue, of all the values and care they instilled in us, patience is my hardest one to keep aligned. I think I use up much of it in my work day, but need to stretch it better in some areas, a work in progress or a piece of work depends on who I encounter it seems.
Driving: Dear Gaming Generation again I urge you to put the cell phones down when you're behind the wheel, stop doing 65-75 mph switching lanes like you believe this is a game you can lose and start over, you really cannot start over after the crash, after the crash people maybe dead or badly injured because of your grand delusions.
My son goes out with some newer friends to celebrate the dad's birthday, and the parents tell their kids that hard times have come too close, the house must be sold and a down scaled life arranged for, retirement money once again are the only rescue and band aid. So it seems that even as we see some economy recovery, others falter and prepare to keep fighting another year. My son pitches in toward the birthday celebration, he has a good heart, he's his father's son.
We will move on, deeper into November, hopefully a few floating items out there will self correct, as I used to believe, although a sorely tested theory: "man like water will rise to his best level". Winter's around the corner.
Kms/Some days in the life of sunshine
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Resounding Election Question: Am I better off than 4 years ago?
Amazing unit of measure to use is this fine Election Question of 2012: "Am I better off than four years ago?"
Well let me answer this in Kathy Speaks which can be a unique way to view a few things, I am a person with good long term memory, bad short term here and there, but I most certainly remember sitting here in September 2008 the year that George Bush & his miserable co-hort were celebrating their 8th year of annihilating/running a country,
I looked at my dears 401K and saw it had lost many thousands of dollars as the stock market went bezerk, news medias hyping all the doom and gloom, more plummets, I did what everyone said not to do & I moved it out of the stocks, and into a safer slower mode, within 1 years time it re-couped some of that loss which would take us to September of 2009 and the total new construction housing collapse that would make me think way too often of Scarlett O'hara, and her Civilization Gone with the Wind, the great cicil war between the north and south left the South totally collapsed monetarily their currency no longer good, their estates manless or moneyless, decay and chaos reigning over what had been the Old South. Rhett Butler did sight to her that out of destruction come construction, and that rebuilding would commence again, profits were to be made out of that re-construction, new fortunes made by the builders and suppliers.
I was in my past life a history buff, it never ceases to amaze me how much could be learn from the past if man would only keep a clearer memory.
We were involved in New Construction so my man who had spent his adult lifetime building homes, supervising the many phases of building a subdivision became one of the MILLIONS laid off & phased out of an entire industry labeled New Construction.
And his wife who's ace card for making additional money in a pinched market, The Realtor in the family also became powerless in this field as all resale housing markets ground to a halt, then came the first glut of foreclosure homes, and another, waive after waive, year after year. Friends and selves struggling to hang onto everything they'd worked light years for. Many never made it, foreclosed on after being 2 months late, finally having a payment to send in the bank returned it to them already, they invoked the acceleration clause in the original signed mortgage, he tried to use the Home Affordable Mortgage Program being hyped and didn't make that either, he had owned his own carpet installing company, but his wife was laid off.....so not enough income, really, no shit Sherlock!
This was a gift given us by a republican choice of the people, those two men should have been exiled from the country once the stunts they pulled came to light.
Our current President and his opposition were pulled into the loop as they country sunk, 24/7 Congress & Senate sessions brought about the bail out of the very guilty banks, Wall Street, and automotive giants before our current President ever walked into the Whitehouse.
So short memories ensue, 2 years later the current laws allow a change over in the House that would fight every single bill the President would want passed, 2 years also starts campaigns way too early for the Presidents re-election or an opponent, 4 years later new elections 2 weeks away, the countries lost their minds and no one remembers what the heck landed us in this dung pile!
I remember. Am I better off than four years ago? Are we? We stood, we struggled, we sold off things near and dear, we tried, we made it, we survived it, and slowly it gets better, I see it here, I see it through my insurance agency as people call in for re-establishing their insurance on business, the amount of certificates of insurance the different companies ask for, some of the first and second wave foreclosures have sold off now. I see the shift of the New Construction trademen shifting to the Post Destruction as they fix up the pre-existing homes that economically collapsed people were forced to leave.
Would I elect Mitt for President? No way, no how, I would let him sit my dog. He's an actor and why people can't tell that from his ever changing answers is way beyond me.
The man who actually has a backbone to try and get some type of slow progress made is already in the house.
And for practical pigs everywhere: Why would you even want to risk the down time of converting, or re-establishing a new team at this most critical time, it would take them 2 years just to get up and running, we'd feel the backlash of that.
No Way, No How!
Sunshine
Well let me answer this in Kathy Speaks which can be a unique way to view a few things, I am a person with good long term memory, bad short term here and there, but I most certainly remember sitting here in September 2008 the year that George Bush & his miserable co-hort were celebrating their 8th year of annihilating/running a country,
I looked at my dears 401K and saw it had lost many thousands of dollars as the stock market went bezerk, news medias hyping all the doom and gloom, more plummets, I did what everyone said not to do & I moved it out of the stocks, and into a safer slower mode, within 1 years time it re-couped some of that loss which would take us to September of 2009 and the total new construction housing collapse that would make me think way too often of Scarlett O'hara, and her Civilization Gone with the Wind, the great cicil war between the north and south left the South totally collapsed monetarily their currency no longer good, their estates manless or moneyless, decay and chaos reigning over what had been the Old South. Rhett Butler did sight to her that out of destruction come construction, and that rebuilding would commence again, profits were to be made out of that re-construction, new fortunes made by the builders and suppliers.
I was in my past life a history buff, it never ceases to amaze me how much could be learn from the past if man would only keep a clearer memory.
We were involved in New Construction so my man who had spent his adult lifetime building homes, supervising the many phases of building a subdivision became one of the MILLIONS laid off & phased out of an entire industry labeled New Construction.
And his wife who's ace card for making additional money in a pinched market, The Realtor in the family also became powerless in this field as all resale housing markets ground to a halt, then came the first glut of foreclosure homes, and another, waive after waive, year after year. Friends and selves struggling to hang onto everything they'd worked light years for. Many never made it, foreclosed on after being 2 months late, finally having a payment to send in the bank returned it to them already, they invoked the acceleration clause in the original signed mortgage, he tried to use the Home Affordable Mortgage Program being hyped and didn't make that either, he had owned his own carpet installing company, but his wife was laid off.....so not enough income, really, no shit Sherlock!
This was a gift given us by a republican choice of the people, those two men should have been exiled from the country once the stunts they pulled came to light.
Our current President and his opposition were pulled into the loop as they country sunk, 24/7 Congress & Senate sessions brought about the bail out of the very guilty banks, Wall Street, and automotive giants before our current President ever walked into the Whitehouse.
So short memories ensue, 2 years later the current laws allow a change over in the House that would fight every single bill the President would want passed, 2 years also starts campaigns way too early for the Presidents re-election or an opponent, 4 years later new elections 2 weeks away, the countries lost their minds and no one remembers what the heck landed us in this dung pile!
I remember. Am I better off than four years ago? Are we? We stood, we struggled, we sold off things near and dear, we tried, we made it, we survived it, and slowly it gets better, I see it here, I see it through my insurance agency as people call in for re-establishing their insurance on business, the amount of certificates of insurance the different companies ask for, some of the first and second wave foreclosures have sold off now. I see the shift of the New Construction trademen shifting to the Post Destruction as they fix up the pre-existing homes that economically collapsed people were forced to leave.
Would I elect Mitt for President? No way, no how, I would let him sit my dog. He's an actor and why people can't tell that from his ever changing answers is way beyond me.
The man who actually has a backbone to try and get some type of slow progress made is already in the house.
And for practical pigs everywhere: Why would you even want to risk the down time of converting, or re-establishing a new team at this most critical time, it would take them 2 years just to get up and running, we'd feel the backlash of that.
No Way, No How!
Sunshine
Monday, October 8, 2012
Only time can ease some
"I shall walk this way but once, any kindness that I can do, let me do it now, for I shall not walk this way again".
And so constantly on face book we see all of the interactions and inter-reactions of people we know well and some people who have been acquaintances of varying degrees, we see their laughter, we see their sport team favorites, we see cooking trends they're excited for, shoes they wished they had, training increments they dreading ( I did not know police trainees had to be pepper sprayed nor taizored but I do now), we see birthday celebrated, illnesses and prayers wished for, friends rallying to support whatever is in someones day, comments posted supporting others out there.
We see people missing their parents and posting beautiful heaven thoughts. We also see people posting these heavenly thoughts for their children who have left the earth as we know it. I thinks sometimes I feel their pain more than words can say.
One of them is rearing his grandson. His own son had been in the armed forces, come home, and the coming home part seemed to be where the troubles began or ended, he took his own life, no one really knows what he was thinking they only know they miss him, and he left grieving parents, and a grieivng son who is about age 9.
So much unexplained, and them left wondering, did they not hear something behind the words said?
A hard one to move on from, only perhaps time will help heal some of the wounds.
Only time can heal some wounds, and an whole lot of love.
And so constantly on face book we see all of the interactions and inter-reactions of people we know well and some people who have been acquaintances of varying degrees, we see their laughter, we see their sport team favorites, we see cooking trends they're excited for, shoes they wished they had, training increments they dreading ( I did not know police trainees had to be pepper sprayed nor taizored but I do now), we see birthday celebrated, illnesses and prayers wished for, friends rallying to support whatever is in someones day, comments posted supporting others out there.
We see people missing their parents and posting beautiful heaven thoughts. We also see people posting these heavenly thoughts for their children who have left the earth as we know it. I thinks sometimes I feel their pain more than words can say.
One of them is rearing his grandson. His own son had been in the armed forces, come home, and the coming home part seemed to be where the troubles began or ended, he took his own life, no one really knows what he was thinking they only know they miss him, and he left grieving parents, and a grieivng son who is about age 9.
So much unexplained, and them left wondering, did they not hear something behind the words said?
A hard one to move on from, only perhaps time will help heal some of the wounds.
Only time can heal some wounds, and an whole lot of love.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
A Young Mans Dream
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" I saw a bit of it this morning, and I want to make it clear sometimes my sunshine rises through the eyes of another.
A young man in my bloodline I've watched grow up from the cradle on, he has always been a big favorite of mine, he is my nephew Ryan. Watching a little personality develop is a wonderful thing for an aunty, but in my eyes this particular one has always been intriguing, pretty clear cut about his likes and dislikes, well principled, his own worst judge so little disciplines ever warranted as he invoked his own. My husband told me yesterday was his graduation day (texted by my brother) from the police academy, and so Aunty smiled with pride over where the young man directed himself, much love for this young gent. And this morning she see his fine picture on face book. And she sees a sunrise through Ryan's eyes.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Life and Change
Oh the adventures of childhood, the day Cyndie driving the bike, me on the handlebars ran us into Pankau Drugs brick wall at Austin & Milwaukee, hitting the wall full steam & flying off the bars no slow motion there, as much of a dead end as any other ever reached in this life, pain...yes a bit. Teeth fine, and no breaks. And Lucky for Her she switched to horses in adult life.
But that same feeling comes now as we dead end one segment, and the unknown looms ahead like that damn brick wall, spend so much time really not knowing where we're going, good I guess for forcing you to really cherish the individual days.
The drive home from work you shake off the day, you try to have some kind of real living time with the family, these days that comes with so many varying schedules which inflict some type of mood disorder, the youngster wants to sleep, exhausted by his double jobs, his gal calls & wants to romp out for dinner, ask him a questions and he ignores you or grunts an answer. A different type of brick wall encountered some days, other days will get you a string of sentences describing one child out of hand at school, sometimes the parents altered the medicines prescribed for the child's current diagnosis, and this can really alter the abuse the staff members end up taking, bites, kicks, scratches, and occasionally the broken nose, all part of the staffs day as a youngster acts out, very little controls in his small package.
Spouse having just gruel through the weekly lawn mowing, that has each of us wanting to shrink the terrain closer to a city lot than even close to what we have.
All tired from a week as it nears it end.
4/5th's empty end out our thursday. Tired and quiet.
Some Football and sleep.
But that same feeling comes now as we dead end one segment, and the unknown looms ahead like that damn brick wall, spend so much time really not knowing where we're going, good I guess for forcing you to really cherish the individual days.
The drive home from work you shake off the day, you try to have some kind of real living time with the family, these days that comes with so many varying schedules which inflict some type of mood disorder, the youngster wants to sleep, exhausted by his double jobs, his gal calls & wants to romp out for dinner, ask him a questions and he ignores you or grunts an answer. A different type of brick wall encountered some days, other days will get you a string of sentences describing one child out of hand at school, sometimes the parents altered the medicines prescribed for the child's current diagnosis, and this can really alter the abuse the staff members end up taking, bites, kicks, scratches, and occasionally the broken nose, all part of the staffs day as a youngster acts out, very little controls in his small package.
Spouse having just gruel through the weekly lawn mowing, that has each of us wanting to shrink the terrain closer to a city lot than even close to what we have.
All tired from a week as it nears it end.
4/5th's empty end out our thursday. Tired and quiet.
Some Football and sleep.
Half here & 1/2 not
As I get closer to the next dreaded step of the next birthdays and see our clocks ticking a bit faster, clueless to where we're going, yet remembering so much of where we've been in the past, who we've been, I stumbled upon a puzzle of two swans in my facebook puzzled hearts game and it's beautiful, then subliminally I start humming a song, damn it's a song that was out when we were dating, just started this long trek. The lyrics still hold some meanings for me, and so I remain 1 foot in this present world, one foot in the past:
Wild Swans Against the Sun by Michael Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLzsIEZZz2g
Wild Swans Against the Sun by Michael Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLzsIEZZz2g
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Making a task harder
On a side note, you encounter the people out there who really can't seem to think ahead or anticipate in their work, odd for us neither one of us is like that in our work, so you will end up frustrated in your work day when you run into all the annals out there, who can't seem to connect their dots, think ahead or plan. This will seriously impact your own progress, as they seem to live their work lives this way, yet you need their piece of the puzzle in place to carry it onto the next level of yours.
One would have to understand that just like hate taking a toll on the human body, or conflicts taking a toll on your own body and health, so would constant aggravation and stress endured as people drag their feet on your needed details.
My own intolerance of this only makes me snap eventually, hopefully at the right person. Don't call me into your office, away from my work which I was doing, so that I can bear witness to you getting 5 minutes of finishing touches put onto something, if you're not ready for my involvement don't waste my time, even if you're the one paying me for my time.
Highest and best use of time becomes very regimented in a do-er. That's why you hired me, so why tie my hands?
"and so it goes"....- Kurt Vonnegut
One would have to understand that just like hate taking a toll on the human body, or conflicts taking a toll on your own body and health, so would constant aggravation and stress endured as people drag their feet on your needed details.
My own intolerance of this only makes me snap eventually, hopefully at the right person. Don't call me into your office, away from my work which I was doing, so that I can bear witness to you getting 5 minutes of finishing touches put onto something, if you're not ready for my involvement don't waste my time, even if you're the one paying me for my time.
Highest and best use of time becomes very regimented in a do-er. That's why you hired me, so why tie my hands?
"and so it goes"....- Kurt Vonnegut
White Noise, if you will
8 years back the office suites were full, equaling 4 peaople in addition to our own 4 people/staff . Our work office suite was half empty for the last 5 years the others had been moved out to a new location, so we had two larger suites to to right of us empty. Five years can be a long time. At first it seemed overly quiet, but trust me you get used to it, quiet becomes bliss on chaotic days of phones ringing, and people showing up un-announced.
You possibly become spoil, and then they rent out 1 office suite to a man & his wife starting a small company, and then after 3 years of that small increase of interaction, this year his company blossomed full gambit, he brought over staff from India and rented to two bigger suites, and within one weekend began to fill them, first 6 new staffers, then another 6, and some drifters that walk around throughout the day ever pacing with their wireless Macs, ever talking their tech support, some quietly, some loudly, now have fun and throw in that it's all in another language.
Another conducts all day multiple conference calls as if he is deaf, he speaks very loudly.
I am in the middle of this chaos.
It's really a struggle some days not to stop and scream at them to get back to their respective suites, to stop this insane foreign country method of having little or no regard for the other sharing the space.
It degenerates due to the foreign language, when I'm typing an email now I find I am struggling to keep my own words in my head long enough to get them onto the screen, or in phone calls I am starting to loose the thread for cohesiveness.
I want to cry some days. This is not me, how did I get here, and how long will I have to put up with this instant noise increase, and strutting back and forth like my area is a break room, everyone comparing their frickn days while I try to carry on with a new claim phone call.
It is white noise at it's best, like a scene from the old movie "snake pit", the insanity spews.
You possibly become spoil, and then they rent out 1 office suite to a man & his wife starting a small company, and then after 3 years of that small increase of interaction, this year his company blossomed full gambit, he brought over staff from India and rented to two bigger suites, and within one weekend began to fill them, first 6 new staffers, then another 6, and some drifters that walk around throughout the day ever pacing with their wireless Macs, ever talking their tech support, some quietly, some loudly, now have fun and throw in that it's all in another language.
Another conducts all day multiple conference calls as if he is deaf, he speaks very loudly.
I am in the middle of this chaos.
It's really a struggle some days not to stop and scream at them to get back to their respective suites, to stop this insane foreign country method of having little or no regard for the other sharing the space.
It degenerates due to the foreign language, when I'm typing an email now I find I am struggling to keep my own words in my head long enough to get them onto the screen, or in phone calls I am starting to loose the thread for cohesiveness.
I want to cry some days. This is not me, how did I get here, and how long will I have to put up with this instant noise increase, and strutting back and forth like my area is a break room, everyone comparing their frickn days while I try to carry on with a new claim phone call.
It is white noise at it's best, like a scene from the old movie "snake pit", the insanity spews.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
The Fun of Astrology
Aquarius: The Sun Enters Libra!
There's nothing laid-back about this week's transits! Firstly, Pluto turns direct on September 17, when power issues ratchet up. Then, a life-changing aspect occurs as revolutionary Uranus squares reform-minded Pluto on September 18 for the second time this year. Mercury then connects to this square on September 20 with not only its own opposition to Uranus, but a square to Pluto -- at which point you may learn something that prompts you to reconsider your plans. Finally, invest in your love life as the Sun enters Libra on September 22.
The truth is half of these dates forecasted are in the past. Just fun every once in awhile to see what they think is in store based on the planetary line up, the stars and gravity. This was a very old area studied by many great ancient scholars, and yet these days it's not given credit due tot the forecaster's not being scholars but people intent upon making a dollar off of it, and in addition to so much more has been discovered within and out of the Universe that they'd have to weigh in all of the new factors in their summations.
So yet another ancient tidbit of knowledge lies to the side of the road three legged now, and distorted, most of the truths drained from it.
There's nothing laid-back about this week's transits! Firstly, Pluto turns direct on September 17, when power issues ratchet up. Then, a life-changing aspect occurs as revolutionary Uranus squares reform-minded Pluto on September 18 for the second time this year. Mercury then connects to this square on September 20 with not only its own opposition to Uranus, but a square to Pluto -- at which point you may learn something that prompts you to reconsider your plans. Finally, invest in your love life as the Sun enters Libra on September 22.
The truth is half of these dates forecasted are in the past. Just fun every once in awhile to see what they think is in store based on the planetary line up, the stars and gravity. This was a very old area studied by many great ancient scholars, and yet these days it's not given credit due tot the forecaster's not being scholars but people intent upon making a dollar off of it, and in addition to so much more has been discovered within and out of the Universe that they'd have to weigh in all of the new factors in their summations.
So yet another ancient tidbit of knowledge lies to the side of the road three legged now, and distorted, most of the truths drained from it.
The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions
Of course I'm laughing. Man's best thought is " I would have, but....." or" I should have, but".
And there you have it, month after month, year after year, people make excuses for what they don't do.
I'm guilty of it, my paper work flow will salute that truth. I hate paperwork, it never ends, I'd put it all out in the fire pit in a blink, if I didn't know I'd be searching for some darn piece within the next two weeks. Example, medical bills, or auto service records, "did it have such and such done to it", and off I go trying to locate the name that tune of the hour.
Other people make excuses with family, "I'd stop if I had more time". Well here's the counter question: "How do you make time for everything else you do?"
"I'd go and visit if so and so wasn't there". Counterpoint: What the hell does one person matter if the other 4 are who you wanted to see?
"I'm not feeling up to snuff lately". Counterpoint: What can you do to change that, to make an improvement? If you could do two more things to make possibly better, why wouldn't you?
"I don't have time to read". Stay up an hour later and make time.
So you try to add in one more thing, push yourself a little bit more, take the initiative and you be the hugger the giver, make an attempt to make a sad song a little better.
Everyone feels the pains, the slow downs, but not everyone pushes themselves to make it a little better.
And that includes me and the paperwork, which should and hopefully will gets updated and filed.
And there you have it, month after month, year after year, people make excuses for what they don't do.
I'm guilty of it, my paper work flow will salute that truth. I hate paperwork, it never ends, I'd put it all out in the fire pit in a blink, if I didn't know I'd be searching for some darn piece within the next two weeks. Example, medical bills, or auto service records, "did it have such and such done to it", and off I go trying to locate the name that tune of the hour.
Other people make excuses with family, "I'd stop if I had more time". Well here's the counter question: "How do you make time for everything else you do?"
"I'd go and visit if so and so wasn't there". Counterpoint: What the hell does one person matter if the other 4 are who you wanted to see?
"I'm not feeling up to snuff lately". Counterpoint: What can you do to change that, to make an improvement? If you could do two more things to make possibly better, why wouldn't you?
"I don't have time to read". Stay up an hour later and make time.
So you try to add in one more thing, push yourself a little bit more, take the initiative and you be the hugger the giver, make an attempt to make a sad song a little better.
Everyone feels the pains, the slow downs, but not everyone pushes themselves to make it a little better.
And that includes me and the paperwork, which should and hopefully will gets updated and filed.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Loving Grandpa is Easy
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Actually I see the sunrise through other people as well. One of those people is Grandpa Dean, he's not my Grandpa he is my sons Grandpa, my husbands father. He is a keeper, and any I time I spend with him is very valuable to my human spirit or soul. He's been one of my best friends in life.
We've researched and enjoyed many topics throughout the years, Astrology in the 70's, religion in the 80's and 90's, herbal medicines and homeopathic medicine's that serve my family well the last few years for certain.
Sometimes I pick him up for his dialysis appointment, and it gives us the opportunity to talk a little, and check in on eachother, a good thing as we've both had a caring and loving relationship of many years. Even when I'd been naughty in a familial way Grandpa & our Mike always kept loving me for myself, few conditions imposed, so as close to unconditional love as I could get.
On our outings we use humor and care, and try to give some heart to the others we encounter who are also experiencing this treatment 3-4 times a week. Simply open the door for them as they come and go can ease many paths, or wheel chair bound people who can't get over the threshold hump so without thought placed not once but twice for their exit. I cannot tell you how many fine and warm hearted people we encounter, they always greet eachother, and check to see how another is fairing out, they also appreciate eachother more when a renegade crabby person is thrown into their midst, and yet even they try to be nice to crabby one and start to thaw that person attitude out a bit just by their simple caring ways.
One man is carrying his anger more than the others so he directs it to the various cab companies who come and pick him up, and with very bigoted questions directed at the others occupants in the waiting room, my second encounter with him finds he's been doing this for the last 7 years, and that this particular center opened in 2009 so it's a newer facility, his previous one was torn down and had been 1 block from his own house thus the cabbie hatred to be vented upon the 3 x's a week. He openly asks each member "what they are" as in heritage, I lose my reading concentration and begin smiling, he will always get around to me and what I am reading and WHY I AM READING IT. Yesterday he diffused quickly, he was very tired by the treatment, he called the cab and we all watched out for it for 1 1/2 hours as he nodded out in his wheel chair, and yet it did not come for him. Pace Bus Service also picks up other patients, and they are also reputed per the waiting room folks to average 1-6 hours late on pick ups. He wakes up from his nap, calls them back to find no one's coming, and calls another cab company, he then wheels himself over to the McDonald's that fronts the facility thinking he'll have a better chance of catching a cab next the busy street. I mentally assess how much wheeling strength is there, and despite his usual cranky start in the waiting room, hope that the Gods are kind and get him home sooner than later to his place off Broadway, I don't buy into his cranky thing I just see a man with Health Problems. Other people stop out in the waiting room to have a snack or drink of water, many have family there to lend a hand, and others wait for their various driver's : familial or hired.
An ambulance comes for one woman who's blood pressure and heart rate went askew off to St Jo's, Grandpa asks me later if I saw this play out, two weeks ago he mentioned he'd been reading and he'd found in his readings that sometimes people do need an ambulance to come due to blood related problems that crop up, he asks if I and my spouse are aware of this and gives me one of his sideways guarded looks to make sure I tell him the truth, he ends up making me feel a burst of love and again I am so happy he shares his time with us. As I said before he is a keeper, just when he might feel we're keeping him, he's really been keeping us.
We go to leave yesterday and we're driving out of the parking lot, a big old golden BEE flies in my window and lands on my lap, Grandpa always watching and accessing watches my reactions, I put it in park exclaiming "I can't do this, I can't do this" my left hand clutches my pants leg outward, the bee stumbles about drunkenly, takes a hop misses, 2nd hop & back out of the drivers window it goes. Grandpa sitting there smiling as I re-compose myself and start driving back home :)
We've researched and enjoyed many topics throughout the years, Astrology in the 70's, religion in the 80's and 90's, herbal medicines and homeopathic medicine's that serve my family well the last few years for certain.
Sometimes I pick him up for his dialysis appointment, and it gives us the opportunity to talk a little, and check in on eachother, a good thing as we've both had a caring and loving relationship of many years. Even when I'd been naughty in a familial way Grandpa & our Mike always kept loving me for myself, few conditions imposed, so as close to unconditional love as I could get.
On our outings we use humor and care, and try to give some heart to the others we encounter who are also experiencing this treatment 3-4 times a week. Simply open the door for them as they come and go can ease many paths, or wheel chair bound people who can't get over the threshold hump so without thought placed not once but twice for their exit. I cannot tell you how many fine and warm hearted people we encounter, they always greet eachother, and check to see how another is fairing out, they also appreciate eachother more when a renegade crabby person is thrown into their midst, and yet even they try to be nice to crabby one and start to thaw that person attitude out a bit just by their simple caring ways.
One man is carrying his anger more than the others so he directs it to the various cab companies who come and pick him up, and with very bigoted questions directed at the others occupants in the waiting room, my second encounter with him finds he's been doing this for the last 7 years, and that this particular center opened in 2009 so it's a newer facility, his previous one was torn down and had been 1 block from his own house thus the cabbie hatred to be vented upon the 3 x's a week. He openly asks each member "what they are" as in heritage, I lose my reading concentration and begin smiling, he will always get around to me and what I am reading and WHY I AM READING IT. Yesterday he diffused quickly, he was very tired by the treatment, he called the cab and we all watched out for it for 1 1/2 hours as he nodded out in his wheel chair, and yet it did not come for him. Pace Bus Service also picks up other patients, and they are also reputed per the waiting room folks to average 1-6 hours late on pick ups. He wakes up from his nap, calls them back to find no one's coming, and calls another cab company, he then wheels himself over to the McDonald's that fronts the facility thinking he'll have a better chance of catching a cab next the busy street. I mentally assess how much wheeling strength is there, and despite his usual cranky start in the waiting room, hope that the Gods are kind and get him home sooner than later to his place off Broadway, I don't buy into his cranky thing I just see a man with Health Problems. Other people stop out in the waiting room to have a snack or drink of water, many have family there to lend a hand, and others wait for their various driver's : familial or hired.
An ambulance comes for one woman who's blood pressure and heart rate went askew off to St Jo's, Grandpa asks me later if I saw this play out, two weeks ago he mentioned he'd been reading and he'd found in his readings that sometimes people do need an ambulance to come due to blood related problems that crop up, he asks if I and my spouse are aware of this and gives me one of his sideways guarded looks to make sure I tell him the truth, he ends up making me feel a burst of love and again I am so happy he shares his time with us. As I said before he is a keeper, just when he might feel we're keeping him, he's really been keeping us.
We go to leave yesterday and we're driving out of the parking lot, a big old golden BEE flies in my window and lands on my lap, Grandpa always watching and accessing watches my reactions, I put it in park exclaiming "I can't do this, I can't do this" my left hand clutches my pants leg outward, the bee stumbles about drunkenly, takes a hop misses, 2nd hop & back out of the drivers window it goes. Grandpa sitting there smiling as I re-compose myself and start driving back home :)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
My mistakes have cost me
"When was the last time, you ever saw the sunrise?" Yesterday, I saw it rising, and you'd think that would be sufficient, but not for this slightly crazy gal.
To the world the following story would not be jarring or earth shattering but it threw me off balance.
I came from humble people, and since we didn't have much, maybe we set a store by what we did have, maybe watching someone use their personal belongings over and over again, instead of going out and getting new like some folks as they tire of a dish pattern, a silverware pattern, more trendy clothes, whatever....I am just as happy with 37 year old cups, dishes, silverware only replaced here due a mindless creature our son brought home for three or four years who threw silverware out with paperplates, and took cups home by the gazooks, God's she was educated , medicated and mindless, a fine specimen of manic depressed disordered, suffice it to say when she babysat her niece and nephew she fed them pizza out of the garbage one day and thought she was a bonnie lass versus a potential dumb ass.
So, years ago I had bought tall tupperware cups, pastels with the lids, and Ma had a set as well, we used these for coffee every day of our married lives, it was one of the few things I had in the hope chest aka: my Grandma's cedar chest as we planned on getting married tupperware was apparently my material attraction. So we each had an identical set, ma's and mine.
Throughout the years mine would take more of a beating, lost pieces, whatever. When Ma passed on, I incorporated her set into mine, including her pink cup.
Now when the mindless bitch was staying here so much, I hid the pink cup cause I didn't want Ma's favorite getting abducted by her, I hid it in the cedar chest until that girl was out of our lives. I know a petty move perhaps, but I was trying to hang on to something.
The last three years as we've sold off jewelry, records, books, anything that wasn't nailed down, yet held a value to be adding to the ever-lacking mortgage dollars of this DEPRESSION, going going gone, might have made me just a little screwier (she laughs) than I already was, thus valuing my little world of keepsakes a bit more.
She laughs, she cries: Yesterday I took out the garbage on the way out to work, set my purse on the ground, coffee cup on my back bumper, threw the garbage out, grabbed my purse and got int the truck and left, how the hell I never saw the coffee cup I'll never know, I fucking drove off with it on the bumper, a daily habit of reaching for it once I was on the main street rendered, oh fuck.... I drove back immediately, it should have fallen off on my own property since I drive like a jerk, stopping every 10 seconds, but NOOOOOO, no where in sight.
Crazy as it sounds, it threw my day out of whack, and a bit of my world with it, it was Ma's Pink cup, lost now as much as Ma. Self hatred ensues, I should have left it in the cedar chest.
Now you will remember, Sunshine's always been honest as often as possible, largely due to the part of her inner child who still remains alive and thriving, so she'd be lying if she didn't own up to: Even a little thing can gain a tear & a smile
FOOTNOTE: With a smile I can tell you that the same morning I wrote this blog entry on, I left the house to go get Grandpa for Dialysis, and some two blocks down on Northwest highway I spotted the cup in the right gutter, backed up my truck (no cars coming), parked and retrieve my hit and run cup, scads of gravel inside it, definitely crushed by a tire I was very happy to be able to retrieve this particular mental pacifier, it is clean & going into the cedar chest today along with Ma & Dad's other keepsakes.
To the world the following story would not be jarring or earth shattering but it threw me off balance.
I came from humble people, and since we didn't have much, maybe we set a store by what we did have, maybe watching someone use their personal belongings over and over again, instead of going out and getting new like some folks as they tire of a dish pattern, a silverware pattern, more trendy clothes, whatever....I am just as happy with 37 year old cups, dishes, silverware only replaced here due a mindless creature our son brought home for three or four years who threw silverware out with paperplates, and took cups home by the gazooks, God's she was educated , medicated and mindless, a fine specimen of manic depressed disordered, suffice it to say when she babysat her niece and nephew she fed them pizza out of the garbage one day and thought she was a bonnie lass versus a potential dumb ass.
So, years ago I had bought tall tupperware cups, pastels with the lids, and Ma had a set as well, we used these for coffee every day of our married lives, it was one of the few things I had in the hope chest aka: my Grandma's cedar chest as we planned on getting married tupperware was apparently my material attraction. So we each had an identical set, ma's and mine.
Throughout the years mine would take more of a beating, lost pieces, whatever. When Ma passed on, I incorporated her set into mine, including her pink cup.
Now when the mindless bitch was staying here so much, I hid the pink cup cause I didn't want Ma's favorite getting abducted by her, I hid it in the cedar chest until that girl was out of our lives. I know a petty move perhaps, but I was trying to hang on to something.
The last three years as we've sold off jewelry, records, books, anything that wasn't nailed down, yet held a value to be adding to the ever-lacking mortgage dollars of this DEPRESSION, going going gone, might have made me just a little screwier (she laughs) than I already was, thus valuing my little world of keepsakes a bit more.
She laughs, she cries: Yesterday I took out the garbage on the way out to work, set my purse on the ground, coffee cup on my back bumper, threw the garbage out, grabbed my purse and got int the truck and left, how the hell I never saw the coffee cup I'll never know, I fucking drove off with it on the bumper, a daily habit of reaching for it once I was on the main street rendered, oh fuck.... I drove back immediately, it should have fallen off on my own property since I drive like a jerk, stopping every 10 seconds, but NOOOOOO, no where in sight.
Crazy as it sounds, it threw my day out of whack, and a bit of my world with it, it was Ma's Pink cup, lost now as much as Ma. Self hatred ensues, I should have left it in the cedar chest.
Now you will remember, Sunshine's always been honest as often as possible, largely due to the part of her inner child who still remains alive and thriving, so she'd be lying if she didn't own up to: Even a little thing can gain a tear & a smile
FOOTNOTE: With a smile I can tell you that the same morning I wrote this blog entry on, I left the house to go get Grandpa for Dialysis, and some two blocks down on Northwest highway I spotted the cup in the right gutter, backed up my truck (no cars coming), parked and retrieve my hit and run cup, scads of gravel inside it, definitely crushed by a tire I was very happy to be able to retrieve this particular mental pacifier, it is clean & going into the cedar chest today along with Ma & Dad's other keepsakes.
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