Christmas 2010

Christmas Eve 2010 as opposed to many of the past, we are all quieter than we used to be, our various adventures in life have taken away some of our zip, but it is still good to see all who are home. A little conversation to catch up with eachother, we don't contribute as much as what's to say this year and last year are evil twins, last year we knew we'd make winter to spring, this year we are doubtful? So we keep the conversation to the other ones present, and still have some moments of warmth and affection. Christmas Day is spent with more family, two good cooks, nieces and nephews, lots of warmth laughter and love, an awkward and saddened grace said, showing we appreciate what we have, hope all of our paths will correct themselves, and yet we all tear up for missing you, it has not gotten easier, only more apparent. And today I will see my side of the family, and get caught up with them, and have some more warmth of heart. My brothers family. One mystery moment captured by my spouse last night: John Lennon's " and so this is Christmas" comes on the radio, and our non believer turns up the volume to say he loves us and remembers much. Christmas has reached him, and reeled him in for his own moment.

The Possible Real Meaning of my Religion 12/25

I was born, christened and reared as a Catholic. My beliefs were strong. With the passage of time they became weaker in given areas than others, as situations were lived through whereby nothing made any sense. And then a year or two years back I watched Zietgiest, the movie online. And all of the pieces came cha chink into place with a rapid speed, much of the other puzzle pieces fit. So what results did all that bring: A woman who sees the beauty of the stories we called gospels in my growing years, the bible aside, all of the gospels had lessons by which to live your life, it told of all the choices for good versus evil, I love them still as I love them learning to read out of my Father's prayer book on sundays, his beautiful hands holding that book so I could see, that was before misallettes became a high fashion of a changed church. I still love the story of baby Jesus, Jerusalem, Nazareth, the Evil King Herod a man who would slaughter babies ( Hitler, Bosnia-Croasia), the birth of Jesus whereby all the adults and animals protect a young babe which we still do today. A story of a young man being taught his values, and his own choices made to sacrifice for someone else. A story of family, and how they survive together, and love well together, until the end of their days. One day put aside for Peace and family, one day to say how well the other is loved. Yes, I still think it is all one of the greatest stories ever told. The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit mean simply to me: The trinity was the love of parents and children, and that we should never try intentionally to hurt someone else's spirit, and we should care for our own spirits as well as that's who make us each a unique individual full of caring and love for the other. Merry Christmas, no matter what your full beliefs are. This works for me.

The end of the big blue saga

So given the little or no choice that would have been an option with big blue and their crazy lengthy exclusion, I was advised few win on appeal, the letter that was to help from the doctor would have just been another nail in the proverbial coffin, so my only real choice left was to go onto the much costlier, higher deductible, and less well care group plan through my office, it will reduce my net check by one third which is a major blow, but I still believe I have my priorities right here, it's only my people that matter, the rest is a shell, all of it, Example take the people out of a house = result a shell. Take the people out of a life = result a shell. Sometimes my boss tells me I put too much emphasis on winning, no not really, only when it comes to my principles, principles I find lacking in others at times especially the big corps lining their pocket. So to Big Blue the child says: Ok you tried to beat us up and spit us out after a lifetime of collecting monies from us, but although this new plan is going to beat the shit out of us, you're still stuck with us for awhile to come, and YOU DIDN'T Win ENTIRELY!

Christmas or the 2011 Countdown

A long year rolls to a close, the Christmas holidays are just ahead: 26th book with one portion of the family, 25th booked with another, we left the 24th open as we usually would land in a given place that day, sounds like that got moved to the 25th.....so bad kids that we are, we will still go the 24th as the 25th is already booked, Santa tends to put coal in our stockings no matter how much we try to keep our dates straight. She laughs. Well we will leave loving cards for anyone we end up missing It's been a long and crazy year, work as busy and intricate as the private sector, much paperwork at both places, I've turned into a perpetual file person with a phone glued to my ear, fingers on a keyboard that clacks instead of producing music of any category. Until I was older I was always timid about my music, now that I am older I just don't care what anyone makes of my skills. Same at work, bad attitude perhaps, but I usually get it done, although questioned for my methods, but if it's my work load I feel I need my own freedoms and organizational skills to manage not other peoples...except for one who owns the right to comment. At home I am a comicozy pilot with the papers, totally my schedule, until my office is bursting at the seams and floor space is no longer visiable then my better half will tell me it's time to do something with it all. I know we're all suppose to keep some many years records but really this year I would rather burn it all, too much was touched, too much was a haunter come back for one more resifting for someone's purpose. So looking forward to seeing people the next few holidays, but I will shove 2010 out the door, and grab father time and demand he march 2011 in. 2011 is already promising to make more changes, but sometimes change will bring relief and peace as it ebbs at you. So a few vacation days, perhaps we might get to baking...perhaps not, a number of errands to do today and tomorrow, a little fun, and then onto closing out 2010, and seeing what 2011 has up it's sleeve. Merry Ho Ho

The Picture

"Do more than exist-LIVE! Do more than touch-FEEL! Do more thank look-SEE! Do more than hear-LISTEN! Do more than talk-SAY SOMETHING!" - John Harsen Rhoades The picture on this blog captured much, the talker was talking and taking the pictures, he crops up with camera in hand when you least expect it, and captures a more relaxed subject matter, mild reactions, in this one he captured us relaxed and enjoying a day, took several shots before he moved on to the next captive audience. Beside us captured, this also caught your rose bush, unbeknownst to the family the rose bushes captured my attention from fall of 2006 until they were chopped down, they were yours to tend, Grandpa was the only who knew I fretted, emailed, and watched their various stages, and question on when and how they should cut back. Everything changed slowly at first, and then horrendously for many, it is all different, all of our lives are different, we've all been moved to another time and place, some of us have had our interior lives rejockeyed to a point where we barely recognize them, our roles all remodeled into something different with a very hard cold clay. I speak of the economy and the changes it brought to most. Many phone conversations would have come your way seeking advice as always. And the patience you excercised with me would have extended, as I still would have thrown you that humor that made you laugh. But youngest Santa when I see the rose bush in the picture, I still smile and think of you.

My friend from 3rd grade & his battle

"Do more than exist-LIVE! Do more than touch-FEEL! Do more thank look-SEE! Do more than hear-LISTEN! Do more than talk-SAY SOMETHING!" - John Harsen Rhoades Another casualty: Chris is a tile and carpet person, before the economy hit he had his own store. His wife was laid off from her job in 2009, her unemployment has run out, behind two payments on mortgage they tried to make up the payments once he was paid from an installation job, they mortgage company returned the check to him with a letter saying he was being foreclosed on. The past few months have been spent between applying for the well loved loan modification program Home Affordable, looks good, first court appearances on the foreclosure, judges giving time till the modification could be approved......waiting and waiting, results in a letter of denial yesterday as his wife's unemployment benefit just ran out, but that he no longer qualifies for the program due to that, meanwhile the house and senate mull extentions over, Home modification packets reviewed take months to hear statuses on, and the corporate banking segment mows over the masses collecting properties for a song they'll soon resell and profit on the the middle class sinks into the mire...a bog very few can long escape. Chris was so depressed and saddened, I hope he's able to escape.

Dear Blue

"Do more than exist-LIVE! Do more than touch-FEEL! Do more thank look-SEE! Do more than hear-LISTEN! Do more than talk-SAY SOMETHING!" - John Harsen Rhoades Dear Blue: In the middle of the chaos which you placed me, with your manipulative moves, exclusion forms demanded to be sign in order that we be covered by you, and checking other choices left to us, for covering a loved one from your induced risks, the revolving door you placed me in yesterday, had me so stressed out It finally occurred you might off me instead. The sleep I had finally brought some solace, I am able to almost think straight once more, but before I move on to next choice left, I must simply tell you "You're a Corporate Whore". This little piece of prose I've written for you, brings a twisted smile to my lips, my solution will be the much costlier group plan, but with that I can tell "I Win!". From The child*

My Mother's and Father's Daughter

I grew up in Chicago and was born to two very strong depression babies. My father was 11 years old when the depression hit, and my mother was three. They both grew up through the depression years seeing it from different age vantage points, and yet in many ways they came out of it with the same traits. My father had to grow up in a hurry to help his parents out during those years, and also during the war years always sending his pay back to his mom, and remained their helper until their deaths. My Mom grew up with her family having lost their southside home to the depression and boarding house stories, and later when my mom reached her teens she lost her brother one year, her mother the next, and after that with the arrival of a wicked stepmother within the month she became her own sole supporter and did in fact manage to work her way through a catholic high school paying her own tuition as her mom had wanted her to do. They would spend many of their adult years struggling financially to keep house and family together under extreme circumstances which they never foresaw coming in their direction, plus giving outside assistance to their other family members, only when they would hit their 50's would it soften somewhat as the one was finally able to rejoin and help the other. How she loved making nest eggs for him so he could do the remodeling around the house they'd dream of initially upon buying it. At that point they became entertaining as some goals became achieved. If I learn anything of use from them for this economy it was from their stories of the depression, of how their families tried to keep food on the table, of one sacrificing high school for digging ditches, and another of a woman wanting to bring home a dream her mom had for her and going for light years without electricity to study by and decent food to be nourished by. And all my life my father with his coupons, always cutting out a coupon he saw for something at particular store, and then weighing out the drive/gas prices versus the coupon redemption amount. So it is strange how your friendly ghosts can come back and stand with you in line sometimes, or sit next to you while you rack your brain for the right way to meet all ends, and sometimes when I can't sleep it is because of them, they know I'm weighing out different solutions or moves and they're trying to tell me the right path to take, so I wake up and I try to listen for the message that was in the dream. And I end up jump starting a day after three hours of sleep, but I feel better cause I did need the time to think, I never have enough time anymore. Funny winter makes my day end sooner, and I hate that. So they give you your scruples, your principles, and life lessons, and you try to utilize them, and employ them as you go....my world is always feeling the spirits of the other side...someone nudging me about something.

Human minds and perceptions

"Ivan, Have you ever seen the sunrise?" Boooommmmm! My take is you are born, some of us are born into a family, you grow, you experience first betrayals, first heartbreaks, best friends, best friends who might betray you, you grow enough to become an individual, you blossom into a unique set of qualities or character that you alone possess, one may be artsy, another musical,and yet enough outstandingly educated and well spoken. You meet someone with luck along the way who brings out the best in your best already qualities, or the best in your mind and soul. You make a life nest for yourself, You make a life nest for others who become family. You still encounter friends, more families, health issues, personality dysfunctions, work related stress or stress due to no work available, newlywed years, achieving your goal years, care giving and sacrifice for others in the family along the way, multiple loss of family members and friends, struggles with bills, and at some point you find that part of you has bloomed finally into an area where you're comfortable, nothing fabulous, but comfortable. You can buy new towels every year, you try to keep a truck in warranty as when you don't the repairs bills get outlandish, plus the safety achieved for those on the road a lot is increased by a newer vehicle as safety factors are improved with time. You buy yourself four new pairs of jeans a year and get carbon copies for your spouse, and get him some new shirts when the old ones are worn out. You each get to go on vacation, possibly two a year. You can finally buy whatever you want at the grocery store on a weekly basis, the years of shopping with a calculator in hand are over. We did not buy a boat, a boat would have been fun, but lets face it we wouldn't have wanted the same type. We didn't sell the old truck when we got the new, we gave it away to a person who was worth their weight in gold in our books. We always looked and saw when another person needed help, and tried to do what we could along the way, Christmases where one persons locker was broken into at work and their rent money was in their purse poor girl crying we gave her the rent. Another year someone had stolen all of the Christmas presents and we offset that. As we were treated in our growing years, the struggling years, we tried to give back once life had softened for us. Someone else sick, airplanes tickets needed, food needed as treatment bills and out of pocket costs too high, we were & are simply too much alike to not do what we can, when we can. And then the world we knew changed back, and changed back suddenly, just enough time to try to put a few wrongs right, my ace card had always been real estate for twenty five years which is alot I was able to jump back in when needed and pull something together for a tight spot, and yet not this time as it was the housing market that collapsed and remains so since 2008 with no movement in sight, and my spouse was at the height of his career in that very same housing market which we watched topple and fall, and fall project by project until it was completely dead. Oh the sad nights we spent talking as we cooked dinner on the grill as one project after another was stripped and closed down, and he the closer, until there was nothing left to close. I can't describe accurately the deep grief a people can feel as their world as they knew it dies. In the history of our country this has really only happened on a few occasions: 1929 with the great depression was one of them, and I'd have to say for the south 1864 brought it home, other than that the actual revolution of 1776. Our depression which the idiots on TV call the great recession has indeed knocked out: Home Builders big and small, Plumbers, Electricians, Concrete Contractors, General Contractors, Home Inspection Companies, Real Estate Attorneys, Real Estate Sales Agents, all or most self employed or sub-contractors that are not counted in the 15 million people who are out of work across the United States of America. Now that's alot of grief being felt out there. Unemployment pays of a maximum of $357 weekly after taxes to people who had earned $1250 net weekly -$3,000 net weekly, and the lifestyles they accrued during that time cannot work to support the skeletal remains of that lifestyle, especially since they didn't let the whole country collapse, they bailed out given portions of it, and the rest were left to drown. This gives you two and a half different classes remaining, the wealthy who became wealthier still as they gobble up the spoils, the remaining portion of the middle class which is they 1/2 they can either become wealthier if luck and caution are used or with another jolt to the economy they could topple too easily, and vast numbers have been added to the poor and lower class. Groceries, Utilities, Repair shops prices have remained up, and with less in your wallet you try to buy the least expensive items, and buy only needs, never wants, and the choke hold remains tight. Projections are a good 7-10 years out on any improvement for the vocations mentioned above. We try to hold until we can sell for a break even point, but will time allow us that, the American Public wants to know? We are drooling years away from retirement. But when we interview our age is held against us, they want someone for long haul, and the hypocrite saying it is your own age. Fun! What's the solution? So you talk at times, sometime hitting the truths you're faced with, you still try to remember the big picture of basics and hold onto love, care, happiness that you have your own family surrounding you, and that is enough, and yet sometimes you shake your heads and smile a goofy smile, that the world as you knew it has ceased to exist, it will not come back for you in your time line it is gone, and adapting is the only game in town, yet you can't quite believe all days that it's gone. It happened so quickly. It is simply amazing that this was an orchestrated move made by our own leaders! Cheney and Bush may you rot in hell* definately should be deported.

Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois

Somewhere on the paperwork I saw a different corporate name...(oh yes I see it now) that they're registered under Having to Do with "Health Care Service Corporation" a Mutual Legal Reserve Company (Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Illinois), The piece of paper is called an EXCLUSION Form, it an exclusion for life by people who have taken our money for premiums for our adult lives and now give this paragraph back to us simply because we applied for coverage under their individual program rather than a much higher priced group plan, so much higher that as my boss read me the monthly premium it brought instant tears to my eyes, well here's the paragraph they want us to sign off on in order to have any coverage: "No benefits will be provided for services or supplies received in connection with the following: Hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, thyroiditis, thyroid enlargement, tyroid tumor or goiter, thyroid nodule: including any diagnostic procedure, treatment or surgery thereof and the following complications that occur in connection with or as a result of the aforementioned condition (s): arrhythmia, artial fibrilation, thyroid cancer, depression, dysphagia, fatigue, goiter or nodule enlargement, Graves disease, insomnia, nervousness, palpitations, tachycardia, thyroid enlargement, or tremors." This coverage Exclusion Rider has been permanently placed on the policy.", and of course they expect you to sign it, or else they'll cancel your policy. But if you sign it what happens if you simply run into heart problems, and need surgery because of the passage of time, do they exclude it based on automatically connecting it to Grave's disease that was treated 15-16 light years ago? Do they continue to slowly screw you into the grave? This is what the health care reform was aiming towards curing, and missed considerably, plus any of the laws that were passed to protect the public will not be passed until 2014, such as this exclusion, in 2014 they will no longer be able to exclude coverage based on past problemed areas. But this is not 2014, this is December of 2010 going into 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014**** Bingo, how does the public protect themselves from insurance carriers that are to give people insurance in exchange for spreading the risk...as defined by law in the insurance classes, is this what they call spreading the risk, or is this what they call loading their pockets?

Holiday time of past Chicago memory

"Do more than exist-LIVE! Do more than touch-FEEL! Do more thank look-SEE! Do more than hear-LISTEN! Do more than talk-SAY SOMETHING!" - John Harsen Rhoades Somewhere in Chicago in olden times of 1958 or 59 or 60, I remember being in the old 55 Plymouth somewhere on Milwaukee Avenue near Ma's Rubens were she made time payments on a coat, she let us have her old coat eventually to wrestle and tumble on, siblings and I. But her new coat was spectacular, it smelled good, always had a hint of doublemint gum smell like her, and a slight smell of her cologne, I knew trhe smells cause I sat in the middle of Ma and Dad when driving the city streets, the boys in the back seat. Dad parked the car, Ma went to make her installment payment, it was Christmas time, snowing, pretty yet gentle, some type of bells chimed out holiday music, and Silver Bells played. When I hear it play like yesterday, my eyes tear up for some of the sweet memories of old, and I smell doublemint and Ma's colgone, and I see snow falling at night with that slight purple sky.

December and kissing it good bye

"Do more than exist-LIVE! Do more than touch-FEEL! Do more thank look-SEE! Do more than hear-LISTEN! Do more than talk-SAY SOMETHING!" - John Harsen Rhoades This year brought me another year of you, and your clone, I am forever thankful for both. This year has brought us more life challenges than I remember the newlywed status ever having rendered, we have sat down both and played with pegboards trying to get all shaped pegs to fit into the holes in front of us. This year has brought us a fatigue that is very genuine, we are weary of 3/4th's of the game, sometimes the best we can do is get the other safely to sleep to escape it for a few hours. It has not been letting it go that tires us, it has been trying to keep it all, a minor challenge to some, and a major war we have waged against harsh times, I cannot even try to think back to better days or my eyes fill. In our trades, it is gone. So we do battles, put out fires, and live another day to rise again. December of 2010, I kiss you goodbye, I peek at what 2011 could hold, Assets rejockeyed, assets drained, IRS saga finally done a major win and loss in one letter as they take any future assets too while in one breath compromising, interesting people staffing that entity. Jobless world of your crafts, no end in sight for a projected 7 years out near retirement age, a gift that will keep on giving I could surmise. Health benefits floated that exclude needed items, more corporate corruptions, needing a dose of their own Karma. And back to the beginning, thankful that I have you and the clone. Much humor some 300 days out of the lot, basic healths are intact another thanks. It is that which make me look to 2011. Meanwhile, a belligerant kiss to 2010, what a frickn year it has been.

Challenging times

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost Last year gave us many challenges, and we rose to those challenges as well as we were equipped to. Round 1 = we won. We were given some cotton candy and a day or so at the carnival as a reward, the near insane one laughs, bad girl that I was I told my man it was a nice band aid, how very accurate, mostly almost made it but could still see blood oozing here or there from the band aid, wondering how long it would be before a hemorrhage. So today we will take off the band aid, and see what shapes next, and where the path takes us, this is going to be a very tricky round, little or no errors allowed until the end of the game, or the end of this next round at the very least. I wish us all the very best of luck going into it, I will try to do my best to be creatively resourceful against every and any opponent I encounter along this particular course. I will live up to all challenges and aim for the strongest finish. Secret Storm

Dear Dolly

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost So funny, I was thinking of Dolly this morning, I wanted to write her a letter, my brain ADD H as it can get at times already composing parts of it, might be overwhelmed by a week with no smokes, therefore no alcohol cause they go hand in hand -don't they, coping with battles for Health Insurance - contesting exclusions of coverage made against the very things my spouse would need to be checked up on, today's lay off and our adventure on this crazy path we've found in front of us, me finally lighting up and getting so damn dizzy I thought I'd tip over, laughing at myself silly ass that I can be..... I figured screw the letter, just call, and she answered: I told her I was thinking of her and wanted to write her a letter...she worried what's wrong, told her nothing was wrong, Just wanted to tell her I love her, we laughed, told her we've had some crazy adventure years, told her about my dumb ass move of lighting up and the dizziness...she knows she's done it, told her no matter what the loves been good and big....she knows we love eachother, sometimes we're just too naughty and we're flamboyant when we're naughty but some part inside of us loves it when the other gets flamboyant, she laughs some more as we cry a bit. She knows I still talk to my folks and they are long gone and missed, told her I was calling her to do some of our talking now, she liked that. So Friday the first in December started a little bit nicer as we spoke of maybe doing a little Christmas gathering in a couple of weeks. There may be judge's and juries that make conclusions on our lives or on how we conduct them, but in the bottom line of the heart we all have to live up to our own standards of what we never want to leave unsaid, un-expressed. And so to Dolly my friend who I haven given many runs for the money, challenged her so thoroughly as she would challenge my ass right back, " I love you, no matter what".

A Game, if I won the lottery I would:

Occasionally someone in the house buys a lotto ticket: and we play a game with eachother about what we'd do if we won, it's very similar to what would you do if granted three wishes, but it's enjoyed by all: Pay off the house Pay off the truck Rent a store front Start the resale shop One of us would work there, and not the one you think, it's the other that offered to. Pay off anything else, prepay bills for a year. Redo the driveway (patched now but only temporary) Rebuild the garage with furnace and C/A. Put Central air into the house after the rest of the 220 was run. Redo our floors with the tile thats in the basement for 5 frickn years. Put in the dishwasher that's in the basement 3 frickn years. NOW IS THERE STILL MONEY LEFT? Yes, so I'd buy a new vehicle, nothing fancy, but something safe where I am under warranty again. Build a website for the Resale Shop, put newspaper ads in on it. Watch it blossom, put out flyers for collection of donated items, and then offer pick up service. Travel: California 1st, Ireland 2nd for me, and Rick could resume 1-2 trips a year to Canada for his fishing one in July, one in Oct. After that the resale shop could support the household within a years time, as very little is needed to run it once the rent and utilities are covered, but the profit is 80%. And how is that for just one person gamely spin on what they'd do if they won the lottery.

An AmericanThanksgiving, and a variety of Traditions

As far back as I can remember, Seasonal traditions have always guided my year. I remember years gathered at our dining room table, Dad home with us when so much time was usually spent to the two jobs, laughter, And GrandPa, you never knew quite what would come next when Grandpa was over, he was mighty mischieveous. Oddly enough once GrandPa was gone, we were into our teens, so we had straggler friends that showed up without much notice, and stayed to dinner, so the laughter continued. My brothers and I have pictures whereby they stole my hat, another my shawl, pranking eachother. One year I was early for thanksgiving and stupidly walk out onto a from Chicago River, that in itself after plunging through the ice is another story, and not one without great lessons learned. Then came the married years of trying to be two places at one time, one family finally moving to another state making the time table impossible to keep, another 1/2 of the family hunting at that same week every year. And then I had some years where Thanksgiving was held here, am glad I did it, but missed when the last days rolled away some 8 years back. My one brother is out of state, far far away, and my other brother's wifes family has developed their own mid day theme, last year we met at Portillo's somewhere around the schedules and had an afternoon of catching up with eachother. Some recent years we'd travel to my husband's family and have some Thanksgiving with them. Last year we walked into a misunderstanding of how the day was to play out, some it out and out confusion of intentions, some of it a bit of stubborness by people to cave in, those of us surprised where too blown away to even function, and it was the only thanksgiving where I never did eat dinner, I drank myself into a functional oblivion but that was all I accomplished, I deeply regretted it all for a long time to come, sometimes in life we become a pawn...not a valuable piece, just a pawn, and am thankful now that it has become bettered, love won. And lifestyles and families reshape and like the ever present shapeshifter families will re-define themselves at times. The woman at the store selling us Dad's tombstone pegged it: " Change is the only thing in life you can count on". Hate to sound like Forest Gump, But she was certainly right. So, everyone's off doing their own thing year, no phone calls, no schedules for us have evolved. We will do our own simple thing tonight at dinners regular time, and chill out watching some taped episodes we've missed, I will avoid college bowl games at all costs, they do nothing for me like professional foot ball does, nope I don't even understand why, it just is. We know one day our son will move away, probably far, so for now we enjoy our own core family, we here today, the futures never promised to anyone, so we will enjoy ourselves with very little tradition. As to the family, we love you all, we enjoy you all, we wish you all the very best Thanksgiving, some fun, some laughter, and the company of someone you love to share it with. And if memories of other times come back to us, we wish our spirit friends these same exact things, that is still what I hope is at the end of that road, a gigantic re-union.

Dear Economy

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost Our dear economy: You make me dive off tall building and see my life flash before my eyes. I am in total awe of where you've directed us, I cannot believe this is karma for any past days, I now totally understand all the stories my parents told of the depression which was one step beyond what this fine time line has given. All that is missing is the lines of soup kitchened participants. The drive to work finds in these glorious once suburbs a small clan meeting with backpacks, wearing tired and dirty coats, sharing a McDonald's cup of coffee under the bypass I travel each day. They are the homeless of the suburban legend, a new ranking across the United States. They've walked paths yet ahead of others who will one day reach the same course, and for the Love of God, I wonder why anyone of higher wealth and power would have manipulated this course for anyone to travel unnecessarily. And yet I still believe that this was a very deliberate measure taken to knock out an entire class. So at Thanksgiving we give thanks for the very real and bottom lined family we have, and basic good health to travel forward with, and the roof over our heads to walk into another round with. It is a genuine thankfulness. Please improve.

I love you best and Happy Thanksgiving, the song remains the same

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost Sometimes Robert Frost in a moment of cluttered chaos I wonder if I knew what I was doing when I picked the road to travel. Creatures like I who live life by instincts instead of grounded common sense, well let's just say when you back one day, you might pause to wonder a little. In April 2007 I wrote a diddley called "I love you best" for the core of the family on my husbands side, a family that through out our years came to mean so much to my spirit side. I re-read this morning, and was very happy to find it was a good solid observation of why I love those people the best. Much change has come to us in the transpiring years, our families shrink, re-sprout in other directions and lifestyle changes for others, all either making a soul grow towards the sunshine or for some we retract from the cold that might overshadow us, but all and all except for one observation, we are still who we always were. We regroup, we repair ourselves. God would understand and so must we, that a part of us died, so the repairs needed would be extensive, but slowly the repairs show through. But given similar circumstances, we would be there in a heartbeat for any of us. So I love you best for all the same good reasons, and more if time were permitted, and I solidly wish you a warm and healthy Thanksgiving, and all your spinoffs, too. I wish you at peace with reaching out any way you can to extend love and peace and caring to us all, for any small growth of the love that is there. I love you all.

Autumn Ghosts of other years

The winds of autumn batter my vehicle as I travel done this road, the remaining farm fields I pass daily lift up in splendor the flocks of geese into quadrants of flight, the lone deer stands far out in the center, my eyes are failing not checked in 6 years, and they tear up now for this Redlin moment, as I think of my man and our passing years. The love of the land we've all held in common, family duck hunters, deer hunters, and fisherman's gear, thinking back to all segments, and families involved, oh I'd love to see you go just so you'd come back, with stories and photo's, and then settle in for a warm winter snap. The Autumn since childhood has provided my mind with the visions of others who enjoyed their good times, the love of the land is different to all, but the beauty of the colors, and the smells of the leaves fallen, and the winds and stark landscapes, they come only in fall. Since a childhood memory was etched with Injun Summer, she hears autumn ghosts stirring, and walking the lands. She smells burning leaves in her memory although that been outlawed, blurry eyes savoring what sights are still there, this farm an escapee hidden in Buffalo Grove, so far avoiding concrete and modern man who would rob it of all.

Thankful for our people

Did you ever see the Sun Rise? So many shape shifting times in life, particularly the last few years. Chief different impact were the people losses of close family and friends, and of course the collapse of the economy, especially to our home the collapse of the house market, got us coming and going with one single swoop. We all had unique personalities, all developed our own sense of humor, sense of rights and wrongs. Being humans of course some of our relationships are tighter and more intricate than elsewhere within our group, but the mirror beauty of that is another part of the group would be tighter with a different batch than ours, usually making the relationships balance across the board. I think we've all wearied from the long haul. When you get tired you want simpler things, peace, harmony, love, a little fun. When you are financially throttled you want your roof over your head, work so you can meet your obligations, food for your family, some type of health care although that's becoming a harder issue instead of easier, and this particular family will be without it soon enough for the first time in our adult lives we are applying as individuals, the rates are so very high. To be able to hang on becomes the goal. We went to a family gathering the other day and saw old friends and family, it was a touching day, all in balance thanks to the love shown by family members. These simple things are all we wish for, living through last year, and feeling this winter looking through our window, we can only be thankful for the the loved ones we had, the loved ones we have, and some future loved ones on the way. We thank the Universe in part for all the love and goodness we've been privileged to have in this life, and we hope everyone can keep having small or large wins until this economy is corrected, though fearful that will be a few years out if ever. Much love and happiness to the family of his and mine, and all that it combines/encompasses in our eyes.

I've got to find me a place in the sun

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost Like an old Oak Tree I keep reaching out for thee....I've got to find me a place in the Sun, and I do, it's with you. Wherever you are, whatever your doing, I still like to spend my spare time with you. In fact if you're around it's amazing I get anything done because I enjoy you way too much. You talk one thing and do entirely the opposite, you surprise me by your caring and patience shown, when I see such a flipside, you always live up to who I think is in there that is so much my twin. And make me smile. You are a keeper,my keeper. Lucky is to know what you have when you have it. There's a place in the sun for us.

It ain't over till the fat lady sings? The economy keeps on giving.

Throughout the course of the last year with so many failed businesses, failed households, we have felt it in the insurance business. We have unfortunately had companies close, people walk away from their houses, and we've had suicides as a result. We seen families call and give you a change of address they wanted processed for their auto only, with no change of address on their home: "The bank will figure it out" People from all walks of life with great paying jobs of the past making slightly more than minimum wage currently. We thought it would get better, given some time, but as we approach the cold weather, the amount of cancellations we've experienced in the last two weeks is actually a scary thing: How could so much continue to go badly for so long, and this to me means there is a new fallout shaping that will impact us all more by spring. I actually feel a deep sense of mourning for these people who I have come to know the past seven years, I feel the fine lines our own family walks, and I just really wonder if this nightmare of an economy will ever correct itself. And the great sorrow here is the media and the rich are still oblivious to the pain, loss and suffering that continues. Lost businesses = lost homes, higher divorce rates, more domestic violence, more foreclosures in a market that is already so glutted with homes for resale new and old alike that there is no future hope of demand for new construction therefore leaving out the entire residential building field. I wonder if the art of the craft will become obsolete and unknown to future workers of America. Let it stop!

What is in a week?

Two weeks ago boring.....slow paced....started wondering if work would stay slow paced until after the holidays.....hold that thought and dump it. Crazy busy, all must have read their mail, and gotten decisive, cars bought, homes closed on, insurance need shifting, inquiries about why premiums have gone up, why an older small cars premium is more than a newer bigger vehicle's premium, endless certificates of insurance to cut, revisions needed as you finally fot the real requirements emailed to you. Your boss loses his favorite remaining uncle surprise style, you feel his pain, you know he needs to be gone to attend to family, you wish you could afford the time to pay your respects to this uncle you knew via phone, a warm charismatic man who solved any family riffs by making people come out to lunch, a man after my own heart who hates to see a riff, and the loss of valuable time that could have been enjoyed, yes he was a fixer. And will be missed. Thinking back to Ma's last week of hospice, maybe that's why I'm cooking potatoe salad, something from our tradition days. That was such a hard week seeing her out a gently as death allows. Thinking of our next encountered loss, and the illness that brought us all down. Some would think it was the age of him, but it wasn't it was simply him himself, too much good packed into one soul, yes he could sarcastically talk the talk, but he always rose to the occassion with a fresh take, a new approach. If the autumn was ever a reflective time before, it certainly has more so. Our losses make us fine tune our values. The old petty matters melt away, and are replaced by very genuine bottom lines. Stephen King pegged it in his John Coffey character when asked why the twin girls went off with the murderer " They did it for the love of the other". Everything becomes about the love of the other, doesn't it?

Sometimes the sunshine starts slipping away

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost And the those roads traveled have been so numerous sometimes we take a wrong turn or slip off the path, some paths have been traveled with good intentions and outcomes, and sometime due to the times we live in or multiple people in a household the path can get seriously treacherous, and I try to fix those, sometimes like a child with a peg board trying to figure out which peg fits the scenario, and then sometimes I am good at, and sometimes it's not enough. Now throw a dose of multiple people attitudes simply put: half full or half empty cup perspective, and I feel like they're attempting to push me down under water...quite possibly under a lid. They've left sitting up late a lot the past few weeks, my head spinning, I can't get a handle on the negativity of my darlings, but it makes me temporarily want to pack a backpack and go and account my only myself. Yet I can't do that, the pony show would fold. So sometime today I will find the iodine, and dose at least myself, possibly them while sleep (she laughs) and see if these wild moods they're exhibiting can be brought into something more real. I understand alot of the reasons for people to see things in a negative light as so much has changed that affect us daily, weekly, monthly. I understand that most given years one would travel to his beloved Canada, I understand the other was a clothes horse, loved plays, movies, and all the trimmings. I understand the sarcasm when one spits at me: He's "grateful he's alive today", but Mr. sarcastic, YOU SHOULD BE, actually. Now their negative shit begins to effect me, and I am fighting to remain "sunshine" and entity that seldom would know how to give up, a soul who has known what to be grateful for, I am grateful even that I have the opportunity to listen to your negative shit. DO NOT plummet me down.....and yes now you've got me pissed off, now you've got me thinking that I've failed miserably if I can't get you to see the light we have in spite of the dark. You're starting to make me angry which will be counter productive. So old tricks surface of the past, she will make potato salad today, she will bake a cake and possibly cookies, she will find more paperwork for the everloving and finally attentive taxman and she will attempt for them to remember what the hell numbers meant 12 months ago, 9 months ago, six months ago, why was this moved in and out and around.....well because the banks who held it were surrounded by other banks that kept going under,I was scared, because I was keeping it further away from my temptation, and all when she's awed by the present, she will attempt to organize and file papers from the last year which have been unfiled so many times and rebatched as some entity needed them coupled. And probably during the cooking she will remember that she is still trying to make a home for people that are out of sorts. 1 1/2 years of this particular roller coaster ride and you get very very tired of the ride, you have no hobby, no reading mind, you simply are exhausted, working, or trying to fix something. So we quite consciously, let the sub take over and just cook, and maybe it will trigger them back into what it's really all been for. From another old Sunshine song: "Sunshine's gone away today, I don't feel much like dancing, someone's gone and tried to run my life, I don't much like romancing. How much will cost? I'll buy it, the time is always lost, I'll find it. If you can't even run your own, I'll be damned if you'll run mine" She'll laugh.......at her own insanities in a few hours.

Chicago, I love you

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!-Robert Frost The mind is funny place considering it has you surrounded for life. The 55 year old woman with the 3 year, 4 year old recall, add to that feature that we are a sentimental slock, and you have a dose of the sunshine girl: Ma would work thursdays as a volunteer when I was 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 at St. Joseph's Hospital before it was on Lake Shore Drive it was on West Burling St if I remember that detail. So our Dad God love him, would in fact drive us all over the streets of Chicago, he loved the old Gothic architecture and shared that love with his three offspring. My love for the Old Water Tower came naturally from his site seeing tours given on thursday evenings, and underground drive able tunnels, trips to Lincoln Park Zoo and our families love of the old Viking Ship...how many times did I pet that piece of wood in awe of it's design and the stories Dad told us of Viking Warrior's, walks along the Lagoon when it was still safe to walk there without high chances of assaults. Thursday evenings would shape a large part of who I am and how I trigger, including my fear of driving over bridges that can go up for passing tugs and barges, that was the result of a tire blow out on the 55 Plymouth one night, it was the same night I got my fingers slammed in the car door for the first and last time (I hope) at the wrong end of the door for certain the front hinges. A little girl with two long braided pigtails crying and wanting ice badly that wouldn't come soon enough due to the damn blowout. So yesterday I am in Chi Town with my life sister, and am always happy to be in there for a safari to my old stomping grounds, everything has changed so much, so many neighborhood landmarks are now gone, or new stuff built up around the old, but always enough is there to provoke many memories. We traveled to the HIP, a place my brothers once worked, a place I once lived across from for some of the best days of my life and some of the worst, a place where I bought shoes for my wedding day, a place where I once found out that when depressed I was not to have a charge card with me, a place where my trans went out on the Maroon Ford Torino one night due to the intense snowfall we received which the city could not begin to cope with, and near the house where I once gardened in the sun while on a medical leave of ab sense with my dear Moonshadow by my side, so many memories it's like a kaleidoscope in the mind. And always the old architecture to remind me of where I came from,and a place I truly love. Breakfast in my old neighborhood, window shopping at my favorite Mall, and onto the porch to share our stories of the day, and a nice visit, leisurely with more old friends, subject hopping and laughing. It was a nice vacation day for two tired gals.

Scenerios' for the subconscious

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost As you go through your days, you strive to go to work daily and do a good job, major goal to stay caught up on your workload. If you've a family you strive to do laundry before you leave in the morning, shop at lunch if needed, or on a crazy day drive home for 20 minutes so you can prepare something towards dinner 5 hours later, run errands on the way home as somethings needed. Pick up scripts, banking, regular groceries, whatever the day calls for. Jump on face book for awhile to see how friends, and family fair: And as I go through my week I carry them in the back of my head, One cousin has a bad stage of MS, nothing is helping for the advanced symptoms, his mom my first cousin and one of my remaining favorite's is plagued by Lymphoma that's return, and another friend has done two brain surgeries to remove cancer, is all tapped out on treatments, and her next MRI for a verdict is 1 month out and she's always been a high powered dynamo woman. Another checked quarterly for any return of the numerous growths that threatened her. Another foreclosed on, others trying to short sell before foreclosure comes to them, someone else having their child stay week days with their own parents to rear him, while they work crazy job schedules just to survive and have him for weekends. My own game of trying to survive this crazy economy and the effect it has on loved ones, broken sleeping patterns, the upcoming elections and what will the results do to us? And in the middle of this: I truly tried to get them all to try the miracle tree but everyone is too broke from the economy, can someone stop the insanity, is there even any way to really stop it? So many good people, and so many sad stories, how could it not wander into the mental recesses?

For the love of computers

In this day and age the various computers we use mean everything to us. Years ago before the bag phones, or remotes came into being, lived the land of teletype, in fact there was a major corporation called Teletype for that very reason, this ancient technology the first of many for the 60's leading into the 70's brought us computers to replace the teletype machines, and prehistoric dinosaur that I am, I piloted the new computers at a corporation for their first order entry system that would be hooked up across the nation to their manufacturing and shipping plants for whom I scheduled production, so I started off wearing too many hats, and I do fault that for my fragmented mind, well that and parenthood. I spent 5 years working for that company, implementing one computer system and refining the next. While I was there I did some good for women, who used to be treated like cattle on their health insurance, that companies administration point of view was that if you were pregnant they wouldn't cover your baby as they did not recognize it as part of "YOUR ISSUE", they considered it your husband's issue, suffice it to say I waged my first verbal battle with this administrator to the point of threatening a lawsuit which I've never threatened anyone with since. Slowly, the corporate take on that changed. And for once I did win by standing my ground on their " issue" versus my tissue. The next job held more computer programs to be learned and now added fax machines, and copy machines that replaced mimieograph machines used prior. And the next job added 20 years of real estate, computer research and plenty of computers all needing different passwords, document programs to learn and master, financial programs to learn and utilize for keeping better tax records involved in running a business, fax machines in the home, bag phones that eventually shrunk to the point of being ridiculously small whereby you marvel that you can hear or talk as the body part placement span is shorter than the phone dimension. Present day brings us to a busy insurance agency and a computer used for over 40 different programs throughout the day, all needed to process document from the clients, to the clients or on behalf of them. So why would an IT Guy come out, saying he's updating your machine when he means he was really thinking of updating the BIOS on your computer, and all without benefit of backing up the documents? Holy hell did it ever crash, and that's when he said "Oh, I think it's crashed, I ONLY UPDATED THE BIOS". Dah, Dah, I can only speak for Dell computers as that's unfortunately what I have to work with, but trust me updating the BIOS is a bad idea, I know the Dell website offers it, I know it even says it's compatible, but it's really NOT! So, one week later I have only documents created this week, I managed to set up my email again...mostly because I own the screen name & could import some of the information back in from Comcast, I was able to be my customized insurance programs back onto the computer, but all of my certificates of insurance for all our clients, all of the data bases I keep in multiple programs, were gone, all my user names and passwords, he installed a new hard drive before I even got back in the next morning, and the computer was functioning, but stupid of any stored knowledge. Anyone who knows me, would be proud of me, I simply smiled and shook my head, instead of busting him upside his head! So it's thursday and I am very happy that today is actually my friday as I take a vacation day tomorrow. What will another 10 years bring us if we've come this far since the 70's? Sunshine lol

The Giving Tree stops in on us

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost

Never enough time to do it all.

Invited by family for a Kareoke Night, was fun, listening to oldies they'd find on the menu, watching guys and gals in family up there with arms wrap about the other as they'd sing together and all the laughter from them and us, but it is hard to stay up that late anymore since we oldsters go to bed at 8pm on weeknite, 1am is....well it gave us jetlag yesterday so all the imagined things we were going to do, suffice it to say, not even 1/2 got done. But here and there we'd smile thinking back to the night before.

Our sister who traveled to us has tremendous energies and love for us all, how could it not rally our tired asses? She is a loved keeper! And we love the better for her gifts.
Once upon a time she was in her twenties, she brought me a book, it was called "The giving tree", it is a book you pass on, and one you re-read throughout the years, it is all too true, for we are all giving trees*, sometimes we just get too busy to remember all the love that is there.

Video Weekend

This weekend, I have 2 DVD's I've put off watching, I am going to crawl into a cozy corner in front of the TV/DVD, and I am going to watch my family DVD, and your family DVD.
I am going to cry alot, and laugh alot no doubt at all that is captured but I am finally going to do this, and actually find great peace and enjoyment in just soaking it all in.

"A Tale of Two Cities" - Charles Dickens quote:
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

The Long Road

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost

We traveled far to gain some progress,
empathetic people lent to our stress,
worthwhile goals, hard to obtain,
so many obstacles, it was quite insane.

We traveled far to gain some heart,
the devilish ones, still only barked,
and bit us leaving lacerations for scars,
a few regrouped and the sunlight.

We traveled further to bring in humor,
and songs of love and magic memories
to bring a smile of remembered times,
with empathy dead we could really heal.

We traveled far for love and hope,
time travelers now back a good 30 years,
when coffee in a kitchen brought warmth to us all,
and love, music, laughter was all that mattered.

- KMS 09242010

Robert Frost- The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

No common sense exhibited by loan underwiters

Many economist believe that the fat lady hasn't sung yet, and that the economic collapse that started in 2008 at least via the news media, will continue on with another collapse coming soon to Main Street USA.
I was a realtor for over 25 years (collapsed), I now work in an insurance agency, all of which brought me a wide variety of people and challenges they were encountering, I became very good at anticipating or having a good feel for what would lie ahead of given scenerio's as we progressed.

So the one thing I would tell any of my homeowner friends or relatives who own homes or condo's would be to refinance if your rate is currently1% over what is available, many of my friends have 6.25 to 6.875% loans, and it would be in their best interest to re-finance usually through their own mortgage company or bank they would find the best circumstances. If these homeowners have had a downward shift in their incomes then they could look into the Harp program within their own lender to speedily repackage their current loan to 4.875% or possibly lower. And yes this involves digging through paperwork, and getting out your paycheck stubs and 30 other pieces of paper coming and going via fed-ex from lender to you and back, but it is worth it's weight in gold if you can knock off $500. a month from the payment, especially if you or yours get laid off.
So without much more adieu "Pick up the phone and call your lender". It's a win, win.

The Washing Machine & BP Amoco's Oil Spill in the Ocean

Example of a lesson to be learned:
My husband detailed his truck this week,cleaners, and several waxes used.

Woman of house goes & does laundry, special load for these rags and buffing pads, hot water, soap.....yikes 3 washes to get it cleaned, but after the first one I had to wipe down the inside of the machine , the OIL & Grease ring plainly in site at the water line.
The 2nd wash cycle still gave a ring of oil, and the inside of the wash tub still needed to be wiped down.

I thought of the Louisiana coast line that has been consumed by BP Amoco's oil spill washing into shore, and of all the wildlife and plant life affected, I had seen a news special on it and was touched, but I have to admit I really got their points after the washing machine was coated from the car detailing.

Such a sad occurrence, Louisiana, between this event and Katrina they must silently wonder if they are cursed presently.

Why was no contingency plan available for such a disaster?

Our various Homes, and the porch.

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost

Years ago Chicago was my home, 2 brothers, 2 parents, 5 of us total and always a dog.
In my youth I had two different homes, my first home on Richmond, across from Humboldt Park, was my favorite for early childhood memories of hide and go seek at night, of learning ennie, meanie, minie, moe, of digging for worms in our dirt backyard, of caterpillars growing out of the brick on the corner apartment building, and of the summer nights we sat out late on the big front porch, neighbors and neighbor kids invited. It was awesome. And of course the resounding whack of the wooden baseball bat hitting my temple as the boy grew angry my jump rope had hit him.

It was Richmond that my husbands home reminded me of so much, the two stories, two different households to be learned and enjoyed. And especially sitting out on the porch, it was a way of proving out that this enjoyment experience was not just a figment of a childhood imagination, in adult years the porch outings have proved to be highly enjoyable. So when I visit that home now as an older adult I always wonder what the front porch will give us for that day, it borne witness to so much life and zest for life, it holds promise to give us something. I see you in it's shadows leaning back into the siding with one foot up to brace or bounce you a bit, I see Your craziest sister giving sermons to anyone that walked by like a minister with her repent lectures, and I see every step filled with laughing, talking people.

My next Chicago Home off Bryn Mawr and McVicker had a smaller porch, brick bungalow, with cement stoops to sit on, one unhinged from the cement had to be sat on, just so, or it would "man overboard" a harsh fall by any standard, childhood bones or adult. But we still had fun out there, we heard our first live guitar on those steps, we watched birds make nests in our eves and have their babies, teach them to fly and hunt for food, we had the enjoyment of being able to stand out on the porch and watch heavy spring rains with benefit of shelter. I see mom and Dad burst into laughter over something said, I see my oldest brother coming back from a ride on his motorcycle in his jockeys, telling us how he drove down by the convent to get a reaction, I see my youngest brother working under a car in the streets because in Chicago even if you have a garage doesn't mean you use it at repair time.

Yes, the Porch has given much amusement, much heart, and many memories to us.

Which are you? Carrot, Egg, or Coffee

This is a story shared through the internet, but it has a valuable point to it, please read on and embrace it:

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as when one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!

Ah yes, how to say I'm sorry yet some more ways

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost

Let's start with saying I am sorry if I've affronted you or caused pain, yet I am not sorry if you pause to think from multiple perspectives as you read parts of my blog, as I'd be a liar and breaking the rule of "To thy own self be true" if I said I didn't want you to be able to perceive all angles, all sides of the coin.

After that I believe it goes back to Grandpa and "Who's truth is it, anyways?" or "Truth is like a rubber band."
Does the truth contain lies? Possibly, it's like a rubber band isn't it?

Can we stop and put on some else's shoes, and feel comfortable? Truth be told I hate wearing someone's shoes, I have whole days when mine are not comfortable.

Can you stop and think what it must be like to lose the best part of yourself, can you stop and think of the lonliness it encompasses? Can you understand that one would reach out to their family and friends, but it would not always sooth the demons, some days we all would lash out instead, it's a human element.

Can we remember days of warm smiles, and eyes that love? Laughter and fun. Yes, I think we can, I think we can hug, shake our heads and know that not one of us is perfect, good maybe but no perfection, if we were perfect God would have taken us already so we must need some more work before we can ever get there.

So back to the chalk board: I am sorry, I do love you, and I do also forgive you., said in any order as the man says to his students.
And so the sun will come up, tomorrow.........

The answer is "blowing in the wind".....B. Dylan

Do you know the value of "a day"?

I knew the words to Bobby Dylan's songs before I even knew who wrote them, I'd be singing them a passenger in Ma and Dad's car during some drive they'd take us on......Bobby Dylan was a young man who had tramped around the country with other musicians playing and singing his own songs. Blowing in the Wind remains timeless, it doesn't age as the same situations play on and on in our history, and in our present day.....Wars, economics, corporate greed remains much the same as it was during the Viet Nam War....and each day now it worsens: a giant look back to the 1920's evolving into the great depression, how did we ever let it shape up the same way twice yet we are just days from it unless someone stops the show. I think the markets should be closed for a week or two, pull this train to a halt before nothing is left.
Banks,
Investment Corporations,
Freeze it.
Let the news media find other stories to promote, let them speak facts and not start unconfirmed rumors.
The domino effect may be in full motion, but I would still try to remove one or two to stop the topple.
I think back to stories Mom and Dad told us of the depression years, Dad had to stop school at that point and go dig ditches just to help support his own immediate family, His mother, father and a sister. He would later enlist in the army. I also think back to all we read in College History of those years, Collage history is a giant leap into the truth they skipped in High School.

Blowin' In The Wind:
How many roads must a man walk down Before you call him a man?Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail Before she sleeps in the sand?Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly Before they're forever banned?The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,The answer is blowin' in the wind.
How many times must a man look up Before he can see the sky?Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have Before he can hear people cry?Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows That too many people have died?The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,The answer is blowin' in the wind.
How many years can a mountain exist Before it's washed to the sea?Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist Before they're allowed to be free?Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,Pretending he just doesn't see?The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,The answer is blowin' in the wind.
-Bobby Dylan

What do we learn from our parents & children?

Do you know the value of "a day"?

Oh the Parent - Child Relationship, so many steps and roads to this one. Parents are to teach their children the initial lessons in life: how to fall gracefully, how to brush yourself off and get back up on your feet, cleanliness next to Godliness, how to embrace life, how to embrace and love people and find the good in all of them, how to understand the color purple of all of our peoples, and their cultures, holidays, holy days, how to ride a bike, how to take a crash, how to mend an injury, how to mend a broken heart, how to behave socially, how to gather friends.
And then we send them to school...... schedules, responsibilities, the ways of remembering tasks to be completed, and a host of other children and teachers who have obtained in life their own agenda's and complexities due to their own family life and how they were reared (Ma always said: Vegetables are raised, people are reared, there is truth to this and you can tell when someone believed differently***is a thought). All of these new things intermingled at school with your own teachings....your own little person, mergers of personalities come to light, other little personalities merge their components into your child's components and slowly a revised little person emerges.
High School brings more complexities, the children reach an age when they will do everything they've ever sworn not to. If you have said never do this, it will be tried in most cases. Secretiveness emerges, and rears it's ugly head, and if you are smart you will invade their space when they're not looking so you can have a very brief idea of what they are really up to. This can be a very harsh time period, so much damage control being excercised as they wander on to find out who they are, and what roads they really want to land on, all of this without benefit of a manual or map, so many segments to be lived through, and survival is your only thought, survival of your child/children, survival of some of their better friends, trying to teach children the difference between friends and acquaintances, watching go out of control at times whereby it will leave a scar for the future, scars that are not easily erased.
And now the young adult emerges, a virtual butterfly, flitting here and there, seeking the right flowers to gather more stamina from, what do they want to be, and trying to quietly guide them towards these steps they want to take. Their first small broken hearts, their first real time broken hearts, watching for any unsavory signs, and guiding, listening until they find their next steps for that path, backing the positive, and not speaking of the negatives, and hoping they can do the same.
And onward we go.
Now the real beauty here emerges as all along the road, your children were teaching you valuable lessons you had forgotten or taken for granted: They reteach you how to have wonder for the world you've grown to accustomed to, they teach you to see the beauty in your surroundings and to cherish your own relationships, to keep you laughing, they keep you trying new things here or there, they bring current day music into your life, and all of the newest movies, theories, they keep you growing, too.
It is a beautiful thing this parent-offspring relationship. It is our fountain of youth, and so it goes on., one teaching the other, one re-enforcing the other.
One day, throughout the years, by your own actions, your own re-actions, you will have taught them one more final step: You will teach them how to lose loved ones to the portal of death, and you will teach them how to build and go on from that scenario. It is all we can do, teach.
And one day they will teach their own.
And so it goes, "a hundred years from now....it will have mattered in the life of a child"

Like a 9 month pregnancy

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost

Months of rallying against a defunct system, and we finally have our major pieces in place for the next round.

And of course now I have to go back and pursue big brother who never did give us a compromising answer, nor any other answer either, even after our last inquiry to them.
That should take some energy, but revitalized by all our good progress, I can do this!

Less than perfect, human

"Two roads diverged into a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference! -Robert Frost

Okay so I have to go back to another Grandpa Talker Lesson:

The things I need to work on in my mind are the things that irk me in others.

And so I have. Procrastination is a biggy. Intolerance of people not seeing the big picture, stopping instead to shred eachother instead of embracing eachother for our differences.
So I do have to work at just my own picture, and then he has always said it will spiral out.

Nuff Said

The Stage Coach, Riding Shotgun

I've been on this bouncy stage coach now for sometime, making multiple stops, seeing so many views and perspective of the landscapes, the people across the land, it is quit an emotional ride, yet by design I was reared to ride shot gun. As I look back at all the developmental years I was taught or manipulated to try and see the bottom line blemish that must be made well in order to regain growth.

I am not as graceful at this as I could be, as part of my M.O. is to get to the bottom line. My old ways would have included maneuvers and back doors to try and hint at it, I've found I no longer have the patience, time is precious, and running out. We always have a time constraint, which becomes amazing in itself. Stay trained to look for the flaw, anticipate every conceivable tree that could lie in the road just ahead.

My counterpart and I have done all we could/can to try and keep up with the needs, we are sore older and weary, today we are off, next weekend we are off. This is good as we only want to be here, we love being here, we appreciate our environment here.

As to the great coach, and seasickness involved in it's lurching ride, we are at a rest stop for certain, a place where we can gain perspectives, or so it is hoped.

Trying to get ready for a next dose, a next journey, trying to get to the best possible place. Rest first.

Things I don't care for

Driving behind people totally immersed in their cell phone call, worse yet texting.
Driving behind people who think they can read their daily news paper while driving.
Corporate CEO's collecting any type of a bonus during an American Depression/Recession.
Banks investing in new equipment to get a jump on fellow bankers during a bailout which was to be used for the people and to make good loans to salvage the people's American Dream.
Old school politician's who fail to see that THE PARTY THEORY is over, it no longer works.
Banks not making loans to HOME BUILDERS to keep some type of work trickle going.
Lengthy election times, it should not exceed three months of campaigning, it is a vast waste of money, tell us about the people, and move on, do not do these propaganda elections, it is a turn off in this economy.
People who call people on the DO NOT CALL LIST, RESEARCH, and stop invading our private time.
To be continued....

The Collective Soul

"And I was a child and you were a child in this kingdom by the sea"-Poe It is the subconscious, perhaps that inner lining of soul that constantly fretted over life going on smoothly, fretted about all the elements understanding and aligning with the next. You cannot have a harmony unless you become extremely flexible to the flaw you see in another. We are all beautiful, yet all flawed. And truthfully to move on, we must either move on together and over look the blemishes, or we must choose to move on alone. This morning upon reading, I choose to move on with a smaller number. Life brings it's own collection of problems, yet I do not need more than I carry. I only need to travel in the most direct path currently, my baggage is enough weight on my shoulders, I do not need anymore of a load or burden. So I will refine my own soul, waste no time refining others who want to wage wars and battles, always having a tizzy to keep on spinning Lizzie. I will hold my own counsel, travel my own roads for the betterment of myself and my small unit. Go in Peace, May Peace be with you

ZI994

"All these faces have their moments of people and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living, in my life, I loved them all"-Beatles I am back in a moment of my ghosts and spirits, and think with humor of your teaching us to spell your name ZI994

ZI994, 20 years my friend

"All these faces have their moments of people and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living, in my life, I loved them all"-Beatles I am back in a moment of my ghosts and spirits, and think with humor of your teaching us to spell your name ZI994, and thinking of words you told me of at Ads the week before you left us... And you were right No matter how much time passes the missing you is still harsh., that we always miss our people, some wouldn't have put you through that surgery, it was a long shot, the only shot, but you had never backed away from a long shot, so I still feel it was what you wanted to try, too. Still sorry for the outcome. I love you, I carry your strengths with me, and your understanding of people, and all of the screwy things they can come up with. Love, a smile, a tear, your fellow gardener. Chicky

For the love of children

Children are hopefully begotten for only the finest of reasons. I know it's not always the case, but often it is. So after seeing scores of people who should never have a child near them, let alone rear one, I see all the pregnancies that go wrong for people like me, Dana, and now other friends or family, and I simply very simply, and wonderingly ask, Why? Why do the people who have love to give, get shorted and slighted with this miracle of life and love? Why do the crack and heroin addicts, and abusers have too much luck in childbearing, and never really care for the child first, a new souls well being, they can only see their need of the drug? For 31 years I have pondered this and I am not any closer to understanding.

You my dear amaze me

The first time ever I saw your face"-Roberta Flack" No one can see the threads of love and caring I do. It's probably your demeaner, and humor that deflects their insight. So I will share one story of a woman who had a silly cell phone which contained certain songs for when her lovies called her, and also certain photo's she had downloaded or shot of her loved ones. Oddly enough after many years her phone is pretty obsolete, and her battery ran down on the phone and would not take a charge anymore, she tried to find the battery out in the world of radio shacks and online and no one had it. She bought a pay as you go cheapest phone ever so she could still have calls, no lovies, no tunes to depict who was calling, actually very hard to work this new gadget, always learning curves, inclsuing you get what you pay for? Meanwhile, behind the scenes as most of what you do is kept, you found her a battery yesterday and had it charging when she came home, you spent your spending money on trying to make her days alittle more beautiful, a little more normal. You show your caring in the strangest ways sometimes, but I have to say when you gift me, it's always got a great thought behind it. Thank You, you are a keeper.

The garden

He planted my flower gardens last year. Each day after work creating more beauty, reworking tired areas, sparse areas. He tended these as he work out in his head where he thought the future might be unfolding to. He watered all the new life as needed, and weeded the entire gardens to keep the beauty. When winter came, we weathered though its vast months of cold, and the life changes he anticipated came our way, we worked through them all together and united, and hoped better days would come with spring. We watched our garden re-emerge, and new surprises came our way of forgotten plants seeded the year before, of flowers not seen prior to now. And spring hopes turned to summer, and steady heat filled days, and just as things touched bottom, some seeds of love pull us back to better days to keep us even. He has a steady progressive manner, that lets him sow these seeds for growth, and with the proper tending brings us, sunshine, some rainbows and some hope.

My Cousin Frank is a superb human, capable of much love & beauty

http://thoughtsofawanderingpoet.blogspot.com/ My Cousin has MS, and is in much constant pain. Yet he amazes me by his capacity to give to others through this cyber space. Above is a link to his Poetry & Prose Blog. He has the most beautiful eyes, and when I see beauty quite often it is through his eyes. I am very happy and pleased to have him touch my days and my soul, he is a keeper!

The magic of a day

Have you ever seen the sunrise? So much beauty no words can describe, a chance to accomplish anything in it's light. Each man, each action, can make their world right. Corrections enabled by the next mornings sunrise. kmps

A Gracious Gift from GrandPa Dean

All these faces have their moments of people and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living, in my life, I loved YOU MORE"-Beatles A Gracious Gift in life is simply: " I Love You", "I wouldn't have had it different, I'm glad we met, you changed my life. You gave me better tools to work with." Many people who meet other people or even family members cannot tolerate 100% of the others encountered. Maybe if lucky they enjoy 75% of the others. But man oh man that 75% you like in a person, it's been the cause for a wild ride. Like, Love, Growth, Emotion, Learning, crash courses. A Man who backed us, and stayed to back us in our darkest hours. A man who loved us for our good points, and who laughs at us when we're naughty, scratches head...shakes it alittle, and then gives us a verbal life lesson hoping we'll use it to some good. He's been a keeper, we kept him, and he kept us, A good man, writing in his blog for years now trying to leave something solid behind for his loved ones one day, and helping to enlighten us as we encounter large and small problems in life.

In My Life-The Beatles did well with conveying feelings

In My Life John Lennon/Paul McCartney There are places I'll remember All my life though some have changed Some forever not for better Some have gone and some remain All these places have their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall Some are dead and some are living In my life I've loved them all But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you And these memories lose their meaning When I think of love as something new Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more In my life I love you more

Chase Bank and the GOVERNMENTS SUGGESTION

"And the people bowed and prayed to the NEON GOD THEY MADE" from Sounds of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel: So in March President Obama announced on TV to the Nation that if You were a household that had unemployed principle/principle's to not wait until you were going under, to contact your own Mortgage Co, in our case Chase Bank who had acquired WAMU to ask for modification & therefore keep yourselves from going into foreclosure. SOund advice, yes? So we who do have a major player laid off for 9 months now, who's no slacker but worked his whole life in the Housing Construction Industry, we'll we called CHASE BANK. They assured us after speaking with a customer rep that they would be able to help us one of several ways, and directed us after establishing that we were not already behind in our payments to go online to their CHASE.COM website & pull the needed forms/application for loan modification, we did this, we completed them, we attached all of our forms it asked for, and we submitted it to them as directed via fax. We received a letter saying it had been received, next we received a very fuzzy letter saying the might need more information, we called them to find out what was needed and we supplied it to them via fax. We called their customer service at Chase Bank to confirm on our account number that they had everything they wanted from us, we were told yes they did, that it was being reviewed by a negotiator, and that they would contact us mail if they needed anything further. My husband made $87,000 last year, and was laid off in 9/4/09. This year on unemployment he'll make 17,000. Chase Bank wrote us back on friday to say they cannot see where our income has changed! They also told us we need to be two months behind on our payments to qualify for their help, try, try again.....later after you've really sunk versus in the beginning of this process it was a pre-requisite that you were totally current on your payments. NOW WHO"S PLAYING GAMES HERE WITH THE VERY PEOPLE THAT ARE BEGGING FOR ASSISTANCE? And who's monitoring them? All I've seen CHASE BANK DO is BUY NEED FANCY DRIVE UP MACHINES OUT OF THE BAIL OUT MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beauty is in the eye of beholder, my boys and I

"The first time ever I saw your face"-Roberta Flack Thinking back to first time I saw either of my boys, one....my spouse was like a magnet, jean cap on, hair...golden and as long as mine, jean shirt sitting in that 55 Buick, awesome, curiosity would always bring out and kill the Kath.....I just had to cross paths again, and I did within a week. Our paths having been crossing or running parralell since. The youngster was a February birth, the medical staff was aware of my first pregnancy, so they were extra kind and made certain I was the first to see him and kiss him, and then put me out as I was going into shock, and when I woke up they brought him into the room, his face was so similiar to hers just bigger, stronger, and I named him Justin for Justice. My Justice. Everyone who has a family has a different experience, thank God most are blessed with a mix of concerns and alot of sunshined moments. But when people look around they don't see the same thing in other families, they begin to think just theirs is that good, or that their family members are better, this gets done in families and outside of families this comparison without knowing all of the facts, without understanding what is real and what is play. It seems that one group just can't fathom anothers actions without disecting it to some degree. For my personality type, for who I am, since I am a unique soul, as are the other unique souls who wish to critique my family, well for me my particular boys have kept me challenged, amused, and growing in thought and in deeds throughout all of these long years. Yours have done the same for you although most of them are not very similiar to mine, and yet it worked for you, right? So I am quite simply saying I wouldn't have traded mine for anyone else, since I am me! It works, a few bumps throughout the years, but we always landed and became even tighter, and that's what is not perceived. If mine see me worried or overly serious they will go out of their way to pick on me until I start laughing and get with the program of why we're really here. We are here to love eachother, to have the good times outweigh the bad, and to get eachother through any darkness.

Child abusers

If God would grant me one easy wish it would be that all child abusers and pedophiles would self disintegrate, there is no fix, the ones in jail will not get better, they will resume their dirty rotten deeds as soon possible, they should be put down, possibly with an eye for an eye as their departure theory. Done

Business: Bringing you to your knees, lost one yesterday

Whether it was real estate or the insurance business, or many other industries encountered, you will glimpse a harsh side occasionally, whereby you give something everything you've got, 150% put on the table, shaped up customized piece by piece for someone else who's in the business relationship with you, and you will find out it was not enough. End of actions. You lose. Loyalty of years in business with the people will hold no bearing for the $2,000 difference of your proposal versus someone else they have no time line or experience, versus the years of your solving their problems and handling their very messy messes, this will not make a difference. There is no loyalty involved against the dollar. And so you will need to replace this massive customer to keep your lifestyle. This particular client has bounced before and come back, but with a new regime of sons making decisions who knows what the next volley will bring, good chance more of the same....

Good Night Moon

When was the last time you watched the sunrise? Not for awhile now, maybe sometime soon.... But upon waking this morning I went to close a window left open by the lad, and oh so beautiful was a pretty full moon south of her, and I thought of all the light she gives for people in the darkness of night, not much by a light bulbs standards, but wonderful all the same if you're outside at night. And then I thought of the child's story " Good Night Moon" such a beautiful little story to settle them into bed with, and a wave of nostalgia hit me, quite possibly summed up by How Fast Life does go by. Days of restless youth, turn to finding your destiny or path in your twenties, path corrections in your thirties and hopefully enjoying a family you've been part of creating, turn to finding yourself in your forties and giving the family broader pathways to travel to their own destinies, and the fifties bring the vulnerabilities of time landing on your doorstep or a loved ones doorstep coming to collect souls you've traveled the paths with, shaking the world up until you regain your solid value of it and of the time left to you. So one day you'll awaken early and reminiscent of days of old: you will simply say: "Goodnight Moon".

Healthcare Reform Bill

So many pro's and con's to this bill, so many fears expressed by both sides. One very real thing I see at work is people getting turned down by the main healthcare corporations, the giants of the industry, or making them sign waivers of coverage for the steel pin in their leg or arm, cancer...absolutely turned down flat...... for our son they gave us the spanish inquisition over a concussion he'd had as a teen from wrestling with a friend in another friends carpeted basement, he lost his memory for 4 hours, it slowly came back as we sat waiting for the er doctor to do his thing, funny he didn't know his friends, he didn't know me, but the insurance company some years later when his application was turned in really wanted to dissect that particular event. Friends we have that are laid off, no insurance. Relatives we have that have no healthcare insurance, us probably soon will have no healthcare insurance, so I understand completely where the one side is headed, I just don't know where they will actually land. The premiums that go up year after year, the high cost of all treatments, the negoiated re-imbursed prices doctors finally receive, the big money, and big pharma behind the insurance companies, how will things vary, and how will they re-shape if the Healthcare Bill is signed into law? Another part of me sees this as a first step against big corporate business, a first step in regulating an industry that has push people around for way too long And me wishing he'd go after the banks, and the investment houses, and regulate them again...truly regulate them, and so many of them tied right back into the insurance companies of America, well I'd like to see all of the bonus boys, aka: Good Old Boys Club of America be brought to their knees and humbles as they've done unto others for so damn long. The juries out on this one, America will have to see if this is a good move in the ongoing CHess Game of Barack Obama-President.

The 2010 Census, much to do about nothing....

postcards sent out prior to census, television ads running before the census, all describing websites, phone numbers to get help to fill it out....so very important, it came in we were astounded at how easy it was, the questions, no brainers. And that one item captures the stupid spending that goes on constantly in our government. Postage, cost of ads, cost of website development and maintenance of website, priceless..................

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME, FORGET HAITI

"HEY JUDE, DON'T BE AFRAID, YOU WERE MADE TO GO OUT AND GET HURT"....THE BEATLES AT TIMES YOUR MIND CAN SEE OR VIEW IT'S ENVIRONMENT IN AN ALMOST THREE D MODE, YOU SEE THE WORLD AS PRESENTED BY TELEVISION, NEWS ANCHORS, ADVERTISERS, POLITICIANS WHO WERE REALLY SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT THE PEOPLE OF THE LAND, EVERYTHING IN OUR DAILY LIVES IS GEARED TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THINGS ARE GOOD, LIFE'S WONDERFUL, GO AHEAD AND BUY OUR PRODUCTS, IT'S SAFE, DON'T BE AFRAID, WE'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL, ILLUSIONS THAT YOUR JOB IS SAFE. BUT IT IS AN ILLUSION. NO ONE CAN WORK FOR THE TRUE GOOD OF MANKIND. YOU CANNOT HAVE HALF THE PEOPLE LAID OFF AND STILL CONTINUE TO INCREASE PRICES CHARGED TO THEM. YOU CANNOT HAVE 1/2 THE PEOPLE ON REDUCED INCOME OR NO INCOME, AND CONTINUE TO CHARGE TOP INCREASED DOLLARS FOR PRODUCTS SUCH AS GROCERIES, INSURANCES, AUTO'S, MORTGAGE'S, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN AN ECONOMY HAS CRASHED AS OURS HAS FOR ONE SECTOR TO GO ON AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED JUST BECAUSE IT DIDN'T AFFECT THEM PERSONALLY, DOES NOT MEAN THAT DESTROYED OR AILING SECTOR DOES NOT EXIST, FOR THEY DO., AND THEY CANNOT CONTINUE AT PRICES CHARGED TO THE HEALTHY SECTOR, THEY CANNOT CONTINUE ON BASED ON RULES MADE EONS AGO FOR A HEALTHY ECONOMY. AMERICA IS TRULY BLEEDING, AND HALF OF YOU ARE OBLIVIOUS TO IT, AND YOU SHOULD REALLY BE THE ONES STEPPING FORWARD TO ASSIST, SORRY TO SAY, FORGET HAITI, FORGET INDIA, FORGET ALL OF THE PLACES WITH LAND DEVASTATION'S UNTIL YOU BEGIN TO TRULY ASSIST YOUR OWN HERE "IN THE GOOD OLD USA" , 'CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME'

Winter Peace

The snows that cling onto the branches flocking the view with clean white snow, The hush that's felt on a winter morning bringing a peace you can hear, by lack of noise and activity, our world moves at a snow clad pace.

The Media & current events & lack of change

And as we kiss February 2010 goodbye, somehow we think back with a different slant on life, through recent events we have become a slight bit more+ cynical of the futures promise, of mankind, we've been seeing human behaviors displayed that rock us, aggressions coming from people who we never witnessed aggression in before, and it amazes us. Where are we going? Does the youth not get it, we are all approaching a final landing strip that should have included all and one on their best behaviors. We watch the news media promoting a patch job on mass amounts of cars, we watch the media promote the "winter olympics" tossing importance onto something that is "JUST A GAME", these mrons take the focus off of the ailing country and ailing industries. I do not think terrorism will ever be erradicated in this lifetime, it is the type of cowardly warfare that can lurk wherever it finds a nitch, and can lash out where least expected, the countries involved in the war give partial committments for ending it, hunting it down, and then start reverting to the same mentality the minute a new government is set up, and so it goes in none progressive circles. Walls streets back to it's old games, the politicians of the house & Senate cannot see past the parties, therefore refuse to act for the common good of the U.S. Population like ostriches with their head in the sand. Jobs are still very limited in opening, millions across the country are unemployed, therefore lacking the income to run their own households, a very few can afford newer vehicles as the older ones become run down, and many have no healthcare and cannot afford to obtain medical coverage for themselves due to the current Health Houses who have manipulated the Health Rules and Regulations to fit their own high priced demands. And people who try to obtain housing loans are rallying against stricter standards, and are bounced from Mortgage Co to Mortgage company before they are denied the loan, having spent hundreds out of pocket to proposed lenders for the costs involved in obtaining this negative decision. It's very chaotic at best. There's no end in sight to this fiasco as various pieces of the puzzle continue to not fit in with the modifications recently made. And now the gas companies, oil companies, and electric companies are already speaking about raising prices in the summer, how can you raise prices on a failed economy only a few can afford the luxury of your increases fools? And we watch and walk through the days looking for improvements!